Legit The Best Advice I Can Give You: Feed Your Friends

The best pianist

(via)

“Substitute beliefs” is an umbrella concept that can be applied to understanding introjects (fictional and real-life), pseudomemories, non-human alters, and more.

It’s important to note that not all substitute beliefs are harmful–they may be comforting, or even feel empowering. You don’t necessarily have to stop being a ghost! That said, it may be worth mentioning in therapy to make sure it’s a healthy belief to engage with.

[Check out my DID/OSDD casually explained masterpost for sources and more infographics!]

You’re not alone if you’re feeling burnt out or you’re running on a low tank. Acknowledge those feelings and take a moment to pause in the present. Take a deep breath in...and out...before you reflect on what you need to move through these difficult feelings.

The KKK is targeting Black women in North and South Carolina. Both states have set out advisories till the first week of February. Please be safe!!!

If you are a BIPOC stay home or go somewhere with a group. DO NOT go anywhere alone for the time being!! Be safe out there!!

First Time Walking-Stick/Cane Users Tips

I’ve seen a post about first time wheelchair users guide. Since I’ve been using a walking stick for a while now, I thought I’d make one specifically for these types of aids. These will be in no particular order– they’re just things you probably don’t know about using a walking stick.

- if you’ve hurt you left leg/ect., hold the stick in your right hand (if possible) and if you’ve hurt your right leg/ect., hold the stick in your left hand. Trust me, your shoulders and back will thank you

- the pad of your hand will hurt– it just will. You’ll get used to it and your hand will develop more protection there eventually. To start out, look into a pair of fingerless gloves. 

- a fold up/collapsable stick is good for beginners because you can take them on public transport/cars without too much hassle (they also fit nicely into desks and under chairs).

- When you’re using your stick, you only have one free hand. This may seem obvious, but it really impacts your every day life. Practice for a while around the house, so you get the feeling down.

-there are a lot of different types of walking sticks: fold up, one leg, two legs, three legs, etc. 

(these are only a few of the many designs)

-if possible, go to a shop that specifies in walking sticks. ask to try a few out, they will also help make sure that you’re using on that’s the right height for you.

- a height adjustable walking stick is a miracle, especially if you want to wear high heels to an event.

- you don’t need a prescription to get a stick in most regions (but in some cases they may help get a discount)

- getting a stick that is the right height for you if very important (even with an adjustable one). Too short, and you’ll hurt your shoulder. Too tall, and you can’t put weight on it properly. The correct height is when the highest part of the handle reaches your wrist when the stick is standing straight up, as shown in this image.

- if you’re young (under the age of 60) people will stare, often they wont mean to– it is annoying but you’ll get used to it. 

- again, if you’re young, people will ask why you’re using the stick, all. the. time. Even strangers will sometimes ask. You can use a really simple answer like “medical condition” and if they pry further, you can say “That’s all I’m comfortable saying”. If they don’t know you, or don’t know you well, they really have no business asking.

-Children will ask, a lot. Please be gentle with them, especially if they’re really little. I know it’s annoying but you can give children reallllllllly simple answers like “I just need it to help me walk” and most of the time they’ll be perfectly content with that and won’t ask more.

- don’t be afraid to use more advanced mobility aids if needed on bad days, or when readily available (eg. at a supermarket, when they have motorized wheelchairs for customers)

- You don’t have to use your stick every day for you to have a disability or for you to own a stick. Even if you need it once a week, once a month, you can still own one. You’re not less worthy or a mobility aid than those who need one everyday. 

-Use backpacks, the ones with 2 well-padded straps that go over your shoulders evenly. Use them as much as you can. Bags that you hold in one hand or have one strap make you unbalanced or take up your only free hand. 

- If you want to, decorate your stick, go all out. 

Even if you don’t need/use a walking stick, please reblog this to let those who do, know this information. 

SO COLORFUL

it fascinates me that theres (probably) billions of species left undiscovered

okay look. i get a few asks every now and again about age gaps in relationships and i know that there are exceptions to every rule but.

i know three girls my age, twenty four, who are stuck in relationships that they shouldn’t be in because an older guy groomed them when they were young teens.

one was thirteen when a seventeen year old boy started flirting with her. she was flattered. she started lying to her parents and sneaking around with him. she fell in love with him. he says he loves her back, and maybe he thinks he does, but he doesn’t act like it. he quit his job without telling her when she was pregnant with their second child, almost singlehandedly raising their first, because he just felt like it. no regard for the family. and she laughed about it when she told me, like it was the funniest thing, like he hadn’t endangered all of them on a whim. because he’s done so much little shit over the years that she’s accustomed to it. he always gets his way and she cleans up his mess because she loves him.

another girl works a full time job and then comes home to cook and clean because her unemployed boyfriend refuses to. she was fourteen and he was eighteen when they started dating and she is still convinced he’s going to change. he quit smoking when she threatened to leave but literally weeks later, as soon as he’d cowed her back into submission, he took it up again, and then tried to paint her as a villain for ‘trying to take away his joy’.

all three girls become completely different people when their partners are around. quieter, smaller.

when it’s just us they laugh as they tell me about the men losing their tempers over something small, like knocking over chairs is a rational response to her asking if she can go away with her friends for a weekend.

they’ve been with these men since they were so young they cannot imagine their lives without them. their entire identities are forged around these uneven relationships.

and that’s the key - they’re uneven. i don’t doubt that two fifteen year olds can get together and stay together happily, because they both had the opportunity to grow up within the relationship, at the same pace. if it’s a fifteen year old and a nineteen year old, though, one has already done so much more growing than the other. they’re at completely different stages of development, they’re psychologically unable to have an equal balance of power in the relationship.

basically, please don’t be flattered by older people showing an interest in you. instead, consider why they don’t want to date someone their own age, who is far more likely to stand up to them when they get controlling. all relationships should have equal shares, but age gaps between early and late teens, or teens and adults, don’t allow that. please don’t take a chance on you being the exception to the rule.

Know the difference