I see a lot of new writers struggling with pacing dialogue so here's some tips. First off, unlearn your distaste for "said." If you need to quickly remind readers who is speaking without distracting them, put "said."
Second, if the dialogue is meant to be happening rapidly, cut tags out for several lines. Example:
"Give me the map."
"What map?"
"Don't play dumb with me. Hand it over."
"Not until you give me the keys."
"What keys?"
See how quickly this moves? Every beat is another piece of dialogue, feeding the exchange back and forth. We can slow this down by adding tags that carry some description. This makes the reader spend longer on the passage. Example:
"Give me the map," she demanded, holding out her hand.
"What map?" he asked, face a picture of perfect innocence.
"Don't play dumb with me," she said.
See how much slower this exchange feels now? We didn't add any new information and yet the beats have totally changed. Think of description as something that adds time. To demonstrate, consider this example:
"Don't play dumb with me. Hand it over."
He didn't answer right away. "Not until you give me the keys," he said finally.
How do we make the reader pause in a more natural and effective way? By adding description and tags. Example:
"Don't play dumb with me," she spat, voice dripping venom. "Hand it over."
He stared at her outstretched hand, palm empty. Somewhere in the distance, a coyote howled.
"Not until you give me the keys," he said with a sigh.
See? Without using a single time indicator, we showed a pause, by slowing down the reader and filling those beats with description. Remember that people visualize at the same speed they read. If you need to slow them down, make them read more words. For faster, more intense exchanges, skip all but necessary clarifying tags, as in the very first example.
Lastly, consider the rhythm of your passage. See this example:
"Give me the map," she spat, hand outstretched.
"What map?" he asked, shrugging.
"Don't play dumb with me," she said, narrowing her eyes.
This is repetitive. Avoid using the same pattern of tags and description two or more times in a row. You can fix this by reworking your passage to include more or different descriptions, but for a quick fix, try changing the tags into stand alone sentences and/or moving them before the dialogue. To fix the passage above, we might try this:
"Give me the map," she spat, hand outstretched.
He shrugged. "What map?"
"Don't play dumb with me," she said. Her eyes narrowed.
See how much more natural that is? And we changed nothing but the order and punctuation. Removing the repetition helps you avoid pulling the reader out of the story by reminding them that they're reading. A good dialogue passage should be remembered in your reader's minds as a movie scene.
the mistletoe
continuation below ⬇️
you’re twelve years old and you break your father’s hand when he hi-fives you. the first thing you learn is that the smallest slip up can hurt the people you love. your (foster) father smiles and says it’s okay (it’s not).
your parents are not your parents. the idyllic farming community that raised you is not your home. you’re a You-Don’t-Know-What from You-Don’t-Know-Where. all you know for sure is that you’re not human.
so you can fly. so you can run fast. so you can lift cars. so what? why do you even have this power? what should you even do with it?
your father said do what’s right, so that’s what you do.
you stop a robbery. the man’s knife shatters against your skin and you see the same fear in his eyes that you saw in your father’s when you were twelve. you catch a falling child before it can hit the water. his mother looks at you like you’re a god.
they love you, even though they don’t know you. the most powerful man in the world hates you because they love you.
you wanted to write when you were younger. you wanted to tell stories that needed to be told. you never wanted to star in them. you never wanted super-geniuses and demi-goddesses looking to you for advice; like you have any idea how to handle threats to reality itself. you’re just a kid from smallville who’s trying to do the best he can with what he’s given.
you try and get back to the farm as much as you can. it feels normal being back among the open wheat; where everyone smiles because you’re that nice Kent boy.
when you were younger, you pretended to fly, hands out to your sides and running through the tall grass by the river. it doesn’t look as beautiful from on high; the details get lost and the colors of your hometown blur together from a mile above ground.
the problem with flying is that it puts you so far above people you care about
I was talking to one of my cis guy friends, and I called him “the big man” and he said, “that just made me very happy.” And the tone in his voice, I just knew exactly how he felt, “that’s gender euphoria!” I exclaimed.
I don’t know why I never realized, but yeah. Cis people experience euphoria. Like many cis guys who go to the gym do it to affirm their gender. The cis men who get mad at being emasculated–they’re experiencing dysphoria! Trans people aren’t different or odd for experiencing these things. We’re just like everyone else, and somehow nobody talks about it!
Like my femboy friend gets euphoria from being gnc, but he gets dysphoria by the idea of someone calling him a girl or using the wrong pronouns. Cause cis people have their own gender identities, they just happen to align with their agab.
It all makes sense.
I feel like cis people might understand if we explained it like this. Maybe I’m just being hopeful though. I’ve always just thought the “well they feel like the opposite” explanation is lacking any amount of personal relation that a cis person could attach to.
Obsessed with this concept
(the fact that the ravens annoy the wolves sksksnsjksn)
Enid: What time is it?
Wednesday: I don’t know, pass me my cello and we’ll find out.
Wednesday: *Plays the cello loudly and extremely out of tune*
Xavier: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE CELLO AT TWO IN THE MORNING?!
Wednesday: It’s 2 am.
there’s like. there’s probably more this is just off the top of my head.
there’s transcripts in the alt text if you don’t want to squint :)
Hey, hey! Friendly reminder to make sure your supposedly “fearless” character gets their darkest fear revealed in the worst way possible so they break down into a vulnerable shaking mess in front of all the people they care about