I Have Deep Love For The Cat.

It’s 2020, so of course there’s sexy Holocaust fic on AO3

If you know me, you might know I’m a huge a/b/o fan. I love the trope in all of its variations, I’ve led panels about it at cons, I read a/b/o as my comfort food. My academic background is (among other things) in sociology and a/b/o is basically like a marriage between my academic and fannish interests. It’s so versatile, it’s so different in every fandom, it contains so many different takes on power dynamics and oppression. There’s fluffy a/b/o and fucked up a/b/o and I will read and enjoy pretty much any flavor. 

This might seem like an odd intro, but I wanted to give this as context for how I stumbled on the fic we’re about to discuss. One of my favorite places on AO3 is the “original work” tag, filtered by the a/b/o tag. When I have nothing to read, that’s where I go to find new stuff. There’s so many interesting, innovative takes on the trope there, it’s great. 

But three days ago, when I filtered by those tags, at the head of the results page was an original story set during the Holocaust. 

I’ve made the decision not to link to the fic directly, I’m sure you can find it very easily on AO3. But I want this to be, above all else, a record of what happened, and I don’t want anyone to claim I was trying to drum up outrage to attack the author directly. Even though their fic is publicly posted, and as you’ll see they have absolutely no qualms about anything they’re doing.

So, a screencap of the header of the fic:

(Edit: ugh, I see tumblr is resizing the images to an unreadable level, so you can click here for a larger version of the image where the text is legible. For every other screencap in this post I’ll also offer a transcript.)

In the past the fic used to have more tags, including one for “inaccurate history”. I didn’t think things were going to unroll as they did, so the screencap is from the time of writing this post, not from when this all started. 

The story, very broadly, is about a romance between an SS officer who runs  “a small Polish death camp” and an American officer who comes to liberate that camp (US forces never liberated camps in Poland, hence the “inaccurate history” tag, according to the author. Yes, that’s why that tag was there.) The “twist” is that the SS officer is secretly a traitor who’s trying to save some of the inmates. 

Now, look, it’s debatable whether it’s possible to write Holocaust a/b/o porn about completely made up characters, with a list of kinks and focusing on hunt/comfort and porn, in a way that does more good than harm to the general population of ao3 users. For many people from backgrounds affected by the Holocaust, just seeing that on the results page makes them feel unsafe and unwelcome in fandom. 

But there’s an argument it’s possible to have about whether it can be done “right”. 

I’m not going to have that argument, because any way you slice it, if the author of a fic like that isn’t from a family that was directly affected by the Holocaust (as this author has confirmed that they’re not), their primary goal has to be to make sure their fic - which they’re writing for their own enjoyment - doesn’t harm people whose family history they’re borrowing for drama. 

It means the author has to actively seek out those opinions prior to and during the writing process, be willing to listen, and potentially scrap the whole thing even after it’s up, if it’s clear it’s doing damage to the people whose personal traumas (and ongoing oppression because antisemitism, for example, and nazism are still very much a thing in 2020) the author decided to borrow for the sake of their story. 

Instead, the author of this fic decided that anyone who came from a family that was affected by the specific real life tragedy they felt like using as a backdrop for their porn could STFU.

Specifically, whenever someone was critical of the fic in the comments, the author would (1) ignore them (2) send friends and followers to confront them (I assume by posting about each critical comment on the author’s public twitter, but I don’t really know).

After 3 pages of mostly adoring comments, with every bit of criticism shut down by the author’s friends, I honestly thought there would be absolutely no effect to another comment by the descendant of Holocaust survivors, but for some reason that day 2020 had just been Too Much and I decided to leave a comment anyway and take the abuse that would surely follow. 

If things had ended in some ugly responses from the author and their friends, you probably wouldn’t be reading this post. But that’s not what happened. 

So, this is the initial comment I left: 

Larger image of the screencap

Transcript:

“Hi! I’m sure your readers will quickly respond to this comment to tell me how wrong I am, but while I’ve heard of this happening in fandom I’ve never just casually stumbled on it while looking through tags on AO3 before, so I guess I felt compelled to leave a comment despite the fact that you probably profoundly don’t care how many people are made to feel unsafe and unwelcome in fandom through fics like this.

For the record, since I’m sure it’s the first thing people will wonder about: I’m Jewish, my grandparents either survived the camps or died in them. I grew up with first person accounts in my family, my parents grew up with parents who were survivors.

Look, there are a billion powerful fictional stories you can tell by using the holocaust as a setting/prop. SO many powerful, amazing, emotional, fucked up, sexy stories. I can tell you about the actual, historically accurate fucked up, hilarious, sexy stories that actually did occur during that time in that setting. This isn’t about things being black and white or only a certain tone being appropriate.

I’m also basically the biggest a/b/o fan on the planet. It’s my favorite trope. I’ve done panels about it at cons. I read tons & tons of it, of all kinds of tones and flavors.

It’s really fucked up that you wrote this fic and posted it publicly. It’s really fucked up that I feel gross about ao3, myself, the world right now, just from seeing that it exists. It’s really fucked up that you haven’t offered any explanation to any of the people from backgrounds who were affected by this history and complained about this fic in the comments, especially since if I understood correctly from the things you did respond to, you yourself are not from a family that was directly affected by this tragedy.

It’s gross, how many people who lost family members and face discrimination in various forms themselves are going to scroll by this and feel like fandom doesn’t see them and doesn’t care about them.

It’s 2020, you know? I guess it makes sense that this is the year I casually come across a sexy holocaust fic tagged “inaccurate history” like that’s totally acceptable.

It’s not acceptable. I’m sure it won’t matter, but in the spirit of the history this fic “inaccurately” relies on for angst and drama, I guess I just needed to say that for the record, no matter how little change it affects, and how many “stfu” responses it garners from your readers.“

Apparently in response to this the author screencapped my comment and posted it on their public twitter (I’m not going to screencap those tweets, you’re welcome to think this is untrue) and of course the next day I woke up to find confrontational comments from the author’s friends in response. 

The author themselves initially responsed with this succinct gem:

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Transcript:

“You got all the way to Chapter 5 before you wrote me a 429-word thesis about a single tag on my fic.“

It was… pretty much the reply I would have expected. I knew this author gave not a single flying fuck who their fic caused damage to, even as they were borrowing real, painful history, from people who faced oppression that the author themselves did not. (In multiple comments the author confirmed they were not Jewish and their family had not been directly affected by the Holocaust.)

I decided to respond to this extremely disingenuous pretense that this was just about an incorrect use of an AO3 tag. This was my response, which the author later deleted:

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Transcript:

“lol yep it’s definitely about that one tag and not literally everything else that I wrote.

I guess it hit a nerve since you actually replied to me, unlike the unworthy AO3 users who told you about their trauma and how gross this fic is before and you ignored them and let your readers respond to them instead.

Some of your readers asked me to engage further, I can believe some of them did it in good faith, but since you’re clearly adamant to not give a single fuck about the real harm you’re causing to real people (because what harm could be worth taking down a fic you’ve actually received kudos and comments on???) I’m not going to waste my energy on this anymore. I mean, I knew I wouldn’t have time/energy to engage anyway, but certainly not with an author who’s so desperate to pretend people are just uptight or not into their kink that they’re not even asking questions. lol yes this is DEFINITELY just about that one tag, and all “offensive” content is like all other “offensive” content and everyone is just out to attack you for no reason while you’re bravely breaking down the censorship barriers lolol“

At this point the author, who remember was claiming this was all about the use of a tag (which they indeed removed because apparently removing “inaccurate history” from inaccurate Holocaust porn made it accurate?) responsed with this amazing piece of writing:

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Transcript:

“How many other authors have you guilted into burning their own books?

The reason I’m not really concerned about this is that I can’t really tell why you’re mad. Is it the sympathetic Nazi? Does it harm you to know that Germans were real people and not just vague shadows of evil? Making humans into monsters allows people to distance themselves from that evil. Those who want to consider the horror of the Holocaust as the work of monsters removes the darkness in the heart of humanity and makes it impossible to fathom that it might happen again. Humanizing Nazis is how you remind yourself that the Holocaust is not a singular isolated and solitary event and is not trapped in the realm of history.

My degree is in History and I took specific courses in 20th Century Europe and Germany Post-1919. Every piece of reading you are given defines the reasons why NORMAL people turned into Nazis. Because there are reasons. Because it could happen again. Because it could happen to you. Darkness is not foreign to humanity and to pretend that it is is foolish.

You don’t even realize the irony here. You want to be on the council that gets to decide which books to burn. And you think you want to burn mine. And that makes you righteous.

Now I know you didn’t read it. Because I wouldn’t have had to say any of this if you did. When you’re out there trying to get authors to delete their works, you think about this. How big is the pile of burning books behind you, marina? Did you do good?“

I… was not surprised, I guess, that an author who thought their desire to write fic set during the Holocaust trumped any harm to anyone whose family was actually affected by the Holocaust would think it was cool to turn criticism of their fic on AO3 into “you’re the REAL nazi who’s trying to BURN BOOKS!” on someone whose grandparents lived through the actual camps. 

The thing about history courses on “post-1919 Germany” was also pretty amazing, I’m not gonna lie. 

How would we know Nazis were real people and darkness is in all of us, if this fic wasn’t here to tell us, in the midst of a/b/o and kink tropes?

Anyway, aside from reacting to this snarkily in my own head, I knew I wasn’t going to respond further. I was out of energy and out of mental resources. Arguing with someone who thinks my family history is theirs to exploit for kudos and comments is devastating, and I personally certainly can’t sustain it for long. I wanted there to be a public record of how this fic was affecting at least some families of survivors, and I’d done that, it wasn’t surprising the author didn’t want to listen and came up with increasingly ridiculous justifications.

There were a few other threads where people tried to explain what was wrong with this fic, how harmful it was, and of course they were shouted down as well. In one of those threads the author compared writing about SS officers to writing about “sympathetic sex offenders”. I explained the difference between writing about social ills that have existed in every human society and can affect any person on the planet, and writing about a specific historical event that affected specific people (who are not the author).

But then, the author started deleting comments.

They deleted my explanation about the difference between this fic and fic about “sex offenders”. They deleted my initial response to their “this is just about a tag!” comment, they deleted their OWN comment in which they boasted about their history degree, explained that they were just trying to educate people about real nazis and besides, I was the real book burner here. 

Honestly, I wanted to believe that somewhere in the process of sharing these comments with their followers to get sympathy and attention, the author had received negative responses as well, and realized fucked up their behavior was. If they’d just deleted their own comments and responses, I would have understood them not wanting to have things they regret saying being up anymore.

But that isn’t what happened. Instead they left some of their own comments up, but deleted my responses. 

I knew they were probably not going to allow any further criticism of their fic (an amazing stance for someone who’s supposedly so committed to freedom of expression), but I had to try and leave at least a record of how much they’d deleted and effectively silenced their critics. 

So, I left this comment:

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Transcript:

“Oh wow, you deleted every comment I’ve made in this and other threads, except the original one that started the thread. That’s certainly a sharp turn from the “I’ve done nothing wrong and YOU’RE the nazi here!” tone of your now deleted comments to me. I mean, I say tone but you did literally say I was asking you to “burn your book” just like the nazis did, which honestly, if that’s your response to the grandchild of Holocaust survivors telling you your Holocaust porn is doing harm to real people living today, I would urge you to swiftly return the history degree you boasted about in your now deleted comment.

For the benefit of anyone who might be reading this in the future (although of course, you’ll likely delete this too, since I guess you realized it makes you look bad, but not bad enough to actually do anything to mitigate the harm you’re causing), in a different sub-thread you compared writing about the Holocaust, a specific historical tragedy you’re not personally affected by, to writing about “sex offenders”, and when I explained why those two are the same you deleted that as well. 

So let’s just keep the first line of my original response to your comment above, back when you were pretending you didn’t understand what the fuss was about instead of writing long explanations about how you’re just trying to humanize nazis for The Greater Good, which you’ve now deleted. I guess criticisizing fics on “like book burning” but silencing critics by deleting their words and pretending nothing was said is just a brave act of anti-censorship:

lol yep it’s definitely about that one tag and not literally everything else that I wrote.“

That comment got deleted within a few minutes of me posting it. 

I also responded to the author’s friends who’d left comments that I didn’t engage with, to let them know the reason I wasn’t engaging was because the author was deleting comments and clearly wasn’t interested in learning or changing their behavior, so I didn’t feel it was worth my good faith efforts to engage. Here’s an example of a comment like that:

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Transcript:

“FYI, the author is deleting replies in this thread, including several of the ones I wrote, including things that were not responses to things the author later regretted saying. I was already over-extending myself to try and explain, in good faith, why this fic was fucked up. I’m sure it won’t matter to you, but I’m just putting here as an explanation for why I’m not going to engage with commenters when the author of the fic, the only person who has the power to mitigate any of the damage it’s doing, it actively disinterested in listening or changing their behavior in any way, and is in fact happy to delete comments so it looks like they don’t care/had the last word. More about this here, unless the author deletes my reply there as well: [link to now deleted response]

This is just a “FYI this is the person you’re defending and this is why investing effort into this in good fath is more than a reasonable person who’s affected by this harm would be capable of. I’m not going to engage further, for the reasons I stated.“

Those comments were also deleted within minutes of being posted. 

At this point, it was pretty clear the author was trying to silence and cover up any criticism of their actions because defending themselves was no longer sustainable and I assume (although I don’t know, this is all speculation) they were getting negative responses from their own followers the deeper they tried to go into the battle of “telling descendants of Holocaust survivors that they’re the REAL nazis for criticizing my fic” and pretending their fic was a necessary educational tool for demonstrating the darkness of the human soul. 

But the true cherry on top of the “desperately trying to appear like I, the author, is the victim here” cake is the end note the author added to the fic the next day, to explain, I assume, all the whispers about them deleting comments. 

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Transcript:

“As a Note, this story has produced some strong reactions and sometimes the comments to this fic contain elements that some folks might not want to see. It is one thing to read fiction about making a traitor-Nazi cry, it is another to read death threats and graphic depictions of real events that commenters have decided to share for shock value in my comment sections. I have deleted some comments but I have left some others up that might be uncomfortable for readers to see. There are no graphic written depictions of any prisoner abuse in this fic but there ARE in the comments. Please be careful and use your own discretion when reading the comments.“

So, the author is now claiming the comments they deleted contained “death threats” and “graphic depictions of real events” that they were just trying to spare their readers from having to experience. (The irony of doing this on a fic that uses the Holocaust as a backdrop is truly too exquisite.)

As you can see, my comments didn’t contain any death threats or graphic descriptions of anything, and still were all deleted, just to prevent any criticism from appearing on the fic. 

To recap: author writes Holocaust porn, gets criticized for it, claims to not understand what the fuss is about, then claims the fic is educational in how nazism can happen to anyone + they’ve taken some courses on Germany + the critics are the REAL nazis asking for a book burning! then deletes all those comments and claims it’s because they contained “death threats” and “graphic descriptions”. 

So, this is hopefully the end of my engagement. I wanted to make it known that this shit is not ok, that it hurts people, that it causes real harm. Apparently the author was not OK with having that information available in the comments, or rather, were only OK with leaving up the parts that they felt didn’t make them look bad.

Finally, I’d like to say that this is not about purity politics or even “cancel culture” (I don’t believe in that term but maybe some people will try to throw it at this). We’re all people who are on a journey, learning and changing all the time. I am not some saint, the author is not some villain, I’m not doing this to score likes or followers from this drama (I haven’t even been on tumblr in years before this). We all fuck up and we all get up again and the only factor is how willing we are to learn and improve and make amends. 

Writing fictionalized porn about the Holocaust is, imo, fucked up by definition. But even if you don’t think that’s true, the minimum requirement is to make sure that when you borrow someone’s dead grandparents you don’t cause living people harm in the process. That’s important, and I wanted there to be a record that Jews and anyone else whose family was directly touched by the Holocaust deserves that basic respect. 

stryfewood week day 6: memorial

in the end all customer service workers are like the rose bride

train

Trigun Stampede | s01e07

“Something he’d never forget. Right.”

Been turning this over in my head for the past few days and trying to articulate it to myself re. Ongoing conversations about racism in fandom --

Because I am increasingly bored with the conversation around racism in fandom coming back to which characters get fic and which characters get shipped. I think that conversation becomes a symbol of racism in fandom because there are clear number to point to -- but simultaneously I think it also takes away from conversations around racism in fandom, because everyone zeroes in on the numbers and then it becomes a question of interpreting statistics and an argument about the quality of canons and a million tedious, heard six hundred thousand times before arguments about why someone may or may not choose to consume fic or art about a character or ship. Its uninteresting, it brings nothing new to the conversation and frankly I don't think it engages with the most upsetting parts of fandom.

But then what are these upsetting parts of fandom? This is really more qualitative and again, this is upsetting to a certain sort of (white) person who wants a simple quantitative fix which is why non-white fans, I think, get pulled into the trap of fixating on numbers as a discursive practice - to make people pay attention. I am not interested in having this conversation with white fans who are interested in absolving themselves of guilt or minimizing their own culpability or who are interested in ensuring that they are good people. I'm interested in the question of what is upsetting as a fan of colour? And well, the answer unfortunately embroils a lot of very well-meaning people who don't think of themselves as overtly racist but who have nevertheless absorbed racist and imperialist attitudes from immersion in cultures that privilege a certain worldview, which privilege a certain method of seeing, understanding and knowing the world and which obscure other possibilities of knowing and seeing the world. (Please note: I am trying to avoid cliched discourse phrases, because I am trying to make people think about what it is I am saying here, instead of fixating on words). Some of the most common ones I’ve seen:

The reproduction of imperial/colonial attitudes:

Fannish arguments about what constitutes imperialism/colonialism/genocide in the context of a particular piece of usually speculative media - the person in question is defining imperialism/colonialism/genocide with such a narrow lens that about 70% of imperial/colonial/genocidal violence in your country would be disqualified.

In an otherwise well-reasoned meta, you see someone using a historical source to make an argument about a reading that potentially opens up possibilities for a more diverse reading of an otherwise white text. However, this source is a deeply colonialist document and is presented decontextualized from that colonial history (with all the epistemic violence and outright textual racism that colonial knowledge about non-white people went with)

Explicit use of the language/imperialist attitudes linked to the noble savage or exotic other to "elevate" or "represent" a non-white character or non-white culture / non-white representational culture. (I see this one so often being reproduced by people who genuinely think they're doing something good here, because they're making an active effort to write/make art of non-white characters/cultures)

Using language with an uncanny similarity to colonial/imperialist denialism to defend their faves

Using settings with an imperialist backdrop/conflict that is largely about shipping a couple of characters (e.g., Any and all fic where characters serve in the Iraq or Afghanistan war as part of the us army) or is largely about a white character's guilt (e.g., 90% of Vietnam war literature and any time it makes an appearance in fandom with all those tropes)

The tedium of well-meaning representation:

On a similar spectrum as the exotic other spectrum, but the reproduction of cultural stereotypes - usually of a dominant culture within a non-white country (e.g., The preponderance of a very Brahminic, Hindu and frankly Jhumpa Lahiri-esque interpretation of harry potter being Indian). Or sometimes just the endless parade of stereotypes / symbols without any sort of complex emotions or relationships with them, only celebration.

Someone is writing about a character of colour! The character of colour spends the entire fic repressing their complex emotions about a white character who has hurt/violenced them in some way and instead dedicates themselves to comforting said character

Someone is writing a character of colour! The character of colour does no wrong and is a beautifully one-dimensional, boring piece of beige

Someone is writing a character of colour! The character of colour exists entirely to be an emotional sponge for the white character

Someone is writing a character of colour...who has no interiority

The reproduction of "I’m not a racist but" attitudes in heated fandom debates

"Racism in Europe is different, stop importing American ideals" there are Europeans who use the first part of this sentence in good faith to open up discussion/conversation, but usually this is meant to foreclose conversation and also, as a non-white person who lived in Europe: lol. Rofl. Lmao, even.

"It’s different here, because talking about racism here is racist and only racists do that" - I, once more, highly doubt this and maybe this betrays a little too much of the whiteness of the circles you move in

"I’m afraid of writing characters of colour because I will get yelled at" - great! Don't write them! Do you want a cookie, do you want us to call Bella Hadid. (Conversely: this one is funny, because I’m on the edge about whether or not I will run into out and out white supremacists (and I mean this in the sense of actual n*zis) in fandom while the most terrifying thing a certain sort of white fan can imagine is being dubbed racist)

Evoking anti-colonial/anti-racist non-white theorists in defense of white characters and their fictional actions - sometimes, it is good, in fact, to have a sense of proportion and understand that you need to be careful about what sources and texts you decide to pull into a fannish argument that is ultimately and frankly not very important in the grand scheme of things

The last category is like, pretty in your face, but the first two are unfortunately common enough that it is impossible to get into a fandom where there may be a character of colour or there may be a hint of imperialism to the text, without expecting to be made to wince hard frequently. The last is easy to spot a mile away and block, but the first really gets my goat, because to explain how these things can be upsetting to see, you have to delve into the history of imperialism and of seeing yourself reflected through the eyes of orientalists and colonists talking, for example, about the indolent hindoo or the wise and sagely hindoo or about the inscrutable oriental smile or the noble bravery of the Pashtun/Afghan/Arab/Bedouin and so on and so forth. It is basically impossible to articulate and describe, unless your interlocutor has read substantial bodies of 19th century texts - themselves bequeathed to you via the medium of a colonial educational system that insists on teaching them as "English literature". It is always from well-meaning people who would be, perhaps (and I prefer to hope) upset if they understood what they had evoked (ergo: immersion in cultures which obscure certain ways of knowing the world and knowing about how knowledge of the world is produced).

And ultimately, I don't know that fixating on shipping or character stat will get us anywhere near unpacking why and how these modes of writing or understanding characters are the easiest ones to fall into, why and how these attitudes are easy to reproduce and where they originate from. I don't know that stats are anything but dealing with symptoms instead of the malaise. But then, I think, dealing with this malaise is far far more exhausting and frankly, it isn't what I want to do with my fannish time - and I hate to think that any fan of colour, simply trying to have fun, must invest themselves in trying to cure the malaise, in order to be spared the ongoing one thousand cuts that come with being a non-white fan in international spaces.

Flowing Energies, part 1

Dedicated to my partner in SouHaru Sin, @izumikouhei, who also was an immense help with these analyses and their proofreading. 

English translations from sunnyskies and janeypeixies from Nanowave Translations

I think it prudent to analyze the interactions between Nanase Haruka and Yamazaki Sousuke chronologically, mainly to dissect their dynamic and development, parts which were underwritten in the show. There are some discrepancies between High Speed! (HS), its sequel High Speed! 2 (HS2), and Free: Eternal Summer (FES), which will be noted. Fair warning the following is quote- and picture-heavy, broken into two parts – novel and anime. As with any analysis, these are my interpretations of the text and not meant to be treated as canon, though I strive to support my readings with canonical evidence. (Though I am aware of the show’s staff providing their own interpretations, intentions and opinions of Ohji Kouji’s characters and groundwork, I do not treat them as strictly authoritative, nor do I find them absolutely significant to what I am discussing.)

Although Sousuke has a brief appearance in High Speed!, introduced as Rin’s classmate from Sano Elementary and a member of Sano’s Swimming Club, it is interesting that he and Haruka share an indirect parallel by asking the same question about Rin’s deceased father to Rin:

“Same as usual, I guess. That aside, did you get to meet your father?” (HS, 7)

“Did you get to meet your father?” Haruka uttered the same words that Sousuke did at that time. (HS, 8)

Not too significant to be constituted as an interaction, but nonetheless, Ohji draws the comparison between the two.

Fast forward to a couple of months later, with Haruka attending Iwatobi Middle School (IMS). With Rin overseas, Makoto in a different class with different extracurricular activities and Nagisa in an entirely different grade level altogether, Haruka keenly feels loneliness but chooses not to dwell on it; ruminating on his vulnerabilities disconcerts him. He chooses to distract himself with Makkou, a stray dog he reluctantly takes as a pet. For a few days this makes him too busy to regularly attend Iwatobi’s Swimming Club (ISC), where Nagisa has been left behind. Haruka decides to visit ISC and promises to cheer for Nagisa in an upcoming tournament, which he and Makoto are not entering. Eventually, Haruka gets roped into joining his school’s swim club, steadily acclimating to duties and practices.

The last day of Golden Week finds Haruka and Makoto at the Hiyori Swimming Stadium to support Nagisa’s efforts. During one of the events, they see a familiar tall, lanky figure – Sousuke. Next Sunday, IMS’ swim club will face Sano Middle School’s (SMS) swim club, as is their annual tradition to promote camaraderie. The tournament ends; Nagisa laments over his lousy performance until his teammates encourage Nagisa to improve and swim in the relay with them for the next tournament. Nagisa leaves with his fellow sixth graders, energized. Before Makoto and Haruka leave as well, a voice calls out Nanase – it is Sousuke, demanding why Haruka had not entered the tournament; despite it being the first time they have exchanged words with each other, Sousuke speaks to Haruka “as if they’ve known each other from before. No greetings or self-introduction, either.” Haruka becomes puzzled and miffed by Sousuke’s inconvenient “rival spirit towards” him, since there exists “a bunch of guys faster than Sousuke” as consequence of transitioning from the elementary school age group to the middle school age group. Sousuke throws his contempt at Haruka for starting club activities and at the club seniors, with Makoto acting as the flustered spectator-mediator. Notice that it is only after Sousuke insults one of Haruka’s upperclassmen does Haruka offer a retort: 

Sousuke snorted derisively. “Doesn’t that mean that he’s not very good at swimming so he was turned into a trainer?” Something snapped and surged up within Haruka. “Don’t say something so underestimating.” “Who’s underestimating who!” Sousuke responded to Haruka’s words. Without even trying to hide it, he bared his emotions. “Have you guys even thought about Rin’s feelings? Have you thought about what kind of feelings he’s swimming with right now? Can you be faster with that? Did you think Rin would be satisfied with that!” When left exposed by Sousuke’s strong gaze, without Haruka aiming to do so, energy released from his body out of its own will. “It’s not like I’m swimming for the sake of pleasing Rin in particular. I swim for myself. It has nothing to do with you.” Sousuke pushed back against that energy.“– Don’t screw with me!” 

Before parting, Sousuke punctuates his resentment: “Don’t forget it. Rin’s feelings of wanting to swim with you guys. I won’t forgive you if you do something halfhearted, just to be clear.” His words incite the same irritating ripples in Haruka’s chest that Rin did; as if summoning calmness, Haruka's eyes gaze at the same sky Sousuke sees as he reflects over his outburst:

Taking a deep breath, Haruka looked up at the sky just once.

It was a blue sky, Sousuke thought. After he parted from Haruka and Makoto, Sousuke looked up at the sky while walking down the path lined with plane trees. When he let his breath out together with what had accumulated in his chest, his feelings calmed down just a little.

Haruka tends to look up at the sky, as if seeking an escape from the roiling emotions found within (“While thinking about things like that, he looked up the blue sky that seems to be sucking him in.“ HS2, 1). Sousuke’s introspection includes awareness of his unfair treatment towards Haruka – such as projecting onto Haruka Sousuke’s stunted rivalry with Rin; the contents of his last conversations with Rin before his transfer to Iwatobi Elementary; and a yearning for reconnection:

He wondered why he ended up getting so worked up over it. Perhaps it had irritated him that they didn’t enter? Perhaps he had felt a sense of lacking from them starting something like club activities? No, it wasn’t just that. He had felt resentment towards himself that with a loss against Rin, he even ended up losing the chance to repay the debt. Then he ended up overlapping Rin with Haruka. Without knowing it, Sousuke smiled bitterly. At best, he took it out on Haruka for no reason. From Haruka’s point of view, what a terrible backlash it was. However, when he thought of Rin’s feelings, he couldn’t stand to not say it after all.

Sousuke looked up again at the blue sky that the plane trees narrowed. He wondered how far this sky could be stretching. He was sure that it could stretch endlessly. He thought – that it could stretch. (HS2, 4)

This confrontation exposes several things about Sousuke’s character: his loyalties to Rin warp his better judgment, causing him to misdirect his anger (the main source of conflict between Sousuke and Haruka); his tendency to be overcritical, quickly flinging disapproval based on incomplete knowledge; he values rivalries and harbors regret with regards to his friendship/rivalry with Rin and channels it; and he is capable of self-reflection over his unsavory behavior. Sousuke immediately recognizes post-altercation that he misfired his frustrations and pessimism over Rin’s transfer/departure (“[Rin] should at least be a little more apologetic about it.” HS2, 4) and his inability to pay back his loss against Rin from last year’s tournament (“Whoever lost today would be carrying around those feelings of frustration for years.” HS, 7) onto Haruka. From Sousuke’s limited perspective, Haruka has “insulted” Rin’s dedication to their rivalry by declining competitions and diverting his attention elsewhere (club activities). 

Furthermore, Sousuke may be envious that he cannot share the same rivalry with Rin ever since Haruka entered the picture – Rin chased after Haruka to Iwatobi Elementary School and then dashed off overseas, leaving Sousuke behind, dreamless and rival-less. Instead of addressing all of this to Rin, Sousuke bottles it up until something that threatens his friend in any way – in this case, Haruka’s ostensible indifference and half-hearted investment in Rin’s rivalry – unleashes those repressed emotions. It seems easier to vent his emotional vulnerability on Haruka, a stranger, than on Rin. Because Sousuke understands Rin the most, he ends up clamping his mouth shut of the things he wants to say, playing the role of an alter-ego than that of a friend:

“…… I see, got it.” He felt like there were a lot of things he wanted to say, things he wanted to ask. But he knew the words Rin would reply with to what he says, and reality wouldn’t change by what he asks. It was just that Sousuke should come to terms with it inside himself. [...] Sousuke didn’t talk to him at all. He didn’t know what he should say anyways and it felt like they had already talked about everything that they ought to. After they left the Swimming Club, too, he walked with Rin in silence. Maybe Rin was thinking the same thing? He was probably thinking it. That was why he didn’t say anything. There was no need to talk about anything. (HS2, 4)

“Because we understand each other too well. [Sousuke]’s even more theoretical than I am, we often quarreled. So, we settled on it that the faster way is always correct, but our competitive spirit wasn’t half-baked anymore. It’s a hard thing, being birds of a feather.” [...] “I still think of him as the person who understands me the most. But sometimes, it becomes difficult to be together… When I end up understanding his feelings, I end up not being able to say the things that I want to. I can no longer seriously go up against him. That’s not a friend, it’s like an alter-ego, isn’t it? You don’t like or hate your alter-ego. Ending up like that, no longer thinking of them as a friend, it’s really painful…” (HS, 7)

“Because we know each other too well. Sousuke is way more theory-based than me, so we got into a lot of arguments. In the end, he’d calm down when I’d say the fastest would win the race, but it always took something out of my competitive spirit. [...] In fact, even now, I think he understands me better than anyone else.” (FES, 4)

There is ample, concrete evidence that supports that this presumption is not a one-way street. The comfort and history of their friendship replaces and hinders productive communication from both their ends. Sousuke’s observations of the sky may represent his thoughts on his own endurance. Could his suppressed feelings reach Rin through this endless sky that stretches to his friend’s side of the world?

Haruka’s days continue on with mishaps and curious encounters, library duties and club activities interspersed between. A ride to the third station away from Iwatobi leads to SMC on the day of their joint practice match. Prior to their arrival, grave news looms over them: Shouta, a second-year member and Yazaki Aki’s older brother, has been banned from club activities after swimming in the river, even involving the police. He panicked after losing to Haruka in a one-on-one swimming competition, due to his fear of being replaced by a first-year. Though Aki insists that her brother’s foolhardy actions are not Haruka’s responsibility, Haruka blames his own involvement in the club, on his preference for swimming freestyle – via his promise to swim only in freestyle events – for cornering Shouta; had Haruka either quit the team or refused to participate in the one-on-one match, Shouta would not have been driven by impatience. This is significant because it exhibits Haruka’s guilty conscience and his understanding of and even criticisms towards one’s pride, foreshadowing many events which later transpire. Though it is the other swimmer’s denial of their self-perpetuated limitations which trap them, nevertheless Haruka internalizes the pain his skill unintentionally brings. Such a burden clouds his mind, leading to self-destruction. It would not be presumptuous to claim that Haruka feels responsible for ruining other swimmers; it is a defining characteristic which may tie into the necessity of maintaining distance from people, as he is perturbed by the effect he has on others.

The joint practice match commences, allowing the first years to gain experience at the start of the season and mingle between the two middle schools. Three familiar people – including Sousuke and Kisumi – walk up and greet Haruka:

Sousuke’s gaze remained fixed on Haruka for a while now. “I’m only in the 100 free today. Can’t say’s a surprise, since I just joined.” It seemed that Sousuke had joined after that tournament. His motive was clear. Quite the trouble he went through, Haruka thought. “I’m in the 100, too.” When Haruka said that, Sousuke showed a happy smile. “I see, looking forward to it.” He held out his right hand. It’s a huge hand, Haruka thought. There was no reason to refuse. He grabbed his hand. He felt their energies flowing into each other’s body.

Sousuke's clear motive is to challenge Haruka directly through their respective swim clubs. Disregarding his initial contempt, Sousuke joined SMS’s swim club some time after their confrontation and anticipates his budding rivalry with Haruka, which Haruka hesitantly receives.

An awkward event occurs between another IMS swim club member, named Asahi, and as a diversion, Makoto asks Kisumi if he knew of Rin during his time at Sano, since they both attended the same sixth grade class: 

“What do you mean know him, we were in the same class. Until partway through sixth grade, though. Right, Sousuke?” “Uh huh, until he went to your place.”  [...] Makoto cheerfully spoke. “Really? What an incredible coincidence, huh. What was Rin like?” Kisumi and Sousuke looked at each other. “In a word, easily gets carried away, I guess?” When Kisumi said it, Sousuke nodded and took over. “Yeah. And he was kind of an irritating guy.” “Right. Kinda irritating, huh? Rin.” Kisumi agreed. On that matter, Haruka had the same sentiment, too. [...] Kisumi got a thoughtful look on his face, and with that expression, he spoke in a murmur. “Self-centered, and hates to lose.” “That’s for sure. For someone who cries right away, he always spoke his mind.” Haruka agreed with Sousuke’s supplement, too. “Ah, and also……?” Makoto, who was bad at giving up, asked again. Could he be hoping for a beautiful memory or something? Makoto should just try recalling his own memories. On top of twisting them around his little finger as he liked, Rin did as he pleased and went off somewhere. Supposing that there was some kind of good memory, it was obvious that something like that washed away long ago. “That’s right. He was always trying to show off in front of girls, wasn’t he? Sousuke.” “Aah, that’s right. Also, he got mad when we called him ‘Rin-chan’.” No objection to that. That was about it for memories with Rin. These two have truly perceived Rin correctly.

After a hilarious roasting of Rin's immature and competitive personality courtesy of Kisumi and Sousuke (with Haruka's silent assent), the boys' 50m freestyle event is held; Haruka wins easily, starting the practice match with IMS leading. He has six more events to compete. Despite finishing first in his next event, the 200m, Haruka gauges a sharp decrease in his speed and an increase in exertion, perhaps due to his leisurable practices and inexperience with the new technique – the biaxial crawl. As Haruka watches his teammates' races, he recalls Asahi's accusations of Haruka hindering Asahi’s ability to swim freestyle; Haruka contemplates over his interactions with Asahi that could possibly support the accusation but comes up blank, which segues to a miserable performance in the 400m freestyle event.

Overcompensating inexperience with brute force, Haruka depletes his waning stamina quickly, resulting in a loss and no applause. Given a slight break before his next event, Haruka's eyes meet the dark gaze of Ikuya, a club latecomer who does not welcome Haruka's presence on the team. Haruka assumes Ikuya's disdain stems from envy that he cannot participate in this competition and Haruka receiving special treatment, as he is swimming in multiple events. Ikuya is ignorant of Haruka's promise with Natsuya, captain of the swim club and Ikuya's older brother, and Haruka believes it is all a terrible misunderstanding. Under the condition of only swimming free during his time in the club, Natsuya made Haruka promise to participate in every freestyle event for competitions (“But I only swim free.” “That’s just like you, huh. When you swim, you at least hear rumors. – Fine. In exchange, I’ll have you enter in all the free events.” HS2, 3). Haruka, confused by and underestimating the gravity of such a request, nonetheless is merely fulfilling it diligently.

However, Haruka's efforts are made in vain. Swimming through the 1500m proves disastrous, Haruka moving forward to merely remain "afloat with difficulty," muscles in excruciating pain, lungs demanding oxygen, heart on the verge of breaking. Bitterly Haruka relives the memory of one of his early performances in last year's relay (HS, 7), how he rejected the water, utterly humiliated by his inadequate swimming. To rub salt on the wound, Natsuya pulls Haruka out of one of the relay events with a second year; Haruka becomes chagrined:

Could he have been concerned about him being tired? Or perhaps, could he be scorning him for making an unfulfillable promise? That guys who couldn’t even keep their promises shouldn’t have cocky obsessions……. “I will swim. I can still swim.” [...] “I will go for the medley relay.” “What’s a guy who can’t swim saying? That’s rude towards your opponent.” Haruka sank in the humiliation. Endlessly, endlessly to the bottom of the chaotic swamp……He thought of his lack of physical strength as cowardly. He wondered if becoming fixated on it was ridiculous pride. Haruka unconsciously chewed his lip. “Swim just the 100 free.” “Eh?” “It’s their wish. They want to swim with Nanase no matter what.” Sousuke was where Natsuya was looking. He looked at Haruka with glaring eyes. He wondered if he could swim it. He wondered if he could swim in a way that would satisfy Sousuke. Would he have enough strength left for just that? Staring at his right hand, he tried to clench it. “……Yes.” There was no strength in it. 

In spite of Haruka's hesitance in viewing Sousuke as a rival, Haruka shows concern in the possibility of disappointing Sousuke in the same manner he has disappointed Natsuya, which seems related to Haruka’s perfectionism and heightened emotional empathy. Haruka reproaches himself for being the arrogant underclassman making unfathomable promises, subsequently suffering the backlash and self-devaluation. Haruka may lack strength in his grip, but he still wants to race Sousuke, is not deterred by his glare, by his own heavy limbs. The one who myopically claims he swims for himself, that his swimming has nothing to do with Sousuke, questions his ability to satisfactorily respond to Sousuke’s wish.

The 100m free event caps the end of the competition, as the highlight of the practice match. Haruka's lackluster "swimming" leaves a bad taste in everyone's mouth. Ashamed, Haruka climbs out of the pool without Makoto's assistance and rushes for an escape from prying, worrying eyes:

Suddenly, someone stood in Haruka’s way. When he lifted his face that he had cast down, Sousuke’s lanky body was there. Without even a smirk, he held out his right hand to Haruka. It’s a huge hand.  When Haruka tried to lift his heavy arms, seizing his hand by force, Sousuke jerked him close. “Come with me for a bit.” Saying it in a voice low enough so only Haruka could hear, Sousuke started walking towards the changing room.

Haruka makes a failed attempt to grasp Sousuke's proffered hand because he has no strength left. Sousuke grabs Haruka’s hand and leads him to somewhere more private. Makoto showing his habitual concern for Haruka’s state flares irritation towards “his cowardly self”, for needing to be pitied and coddled, for being weak.

There was no one in the changing room. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. The announcement of the results were held now. Haruka stepped into the changing room and Makoto followed after him. “What’s the meaning of this? Nanase.” Sousuke said it while taking something out of his locker. Haruka couldn’t answer. It was impossible to answer. As he stayed silent, Sousuke walked up to him and stood face to face with Haruka. Then he stretched out the fingertips of his right hand and placed them on Haruka’s left shoulder. They were long and thin fingers. Wondering what he was trying to do, when Haruka tried to brush off that hand, Sousuke’s fingertips tapped Haruka. His balance slightly breaking, he tried to withstand it, but standing firmly on his feet weren’t working, and his center of gravity drifted backward. Taking two, three steps backward, the back of his knees hit the bench. Dropping his waist and sitting down like that, he almost fell backwards with too much force remaining. “Haru!” Supported by Makoto, he somehow managed to avoid falling down, but he ended up making a terribly sorry display of himself. “You sure had the gall to swim against me like that.” He grit his teeth in humiliation. It would only be an excuse, no matter how he tried to patch it up. It was all caused by Haruka’s trivial fixation. There’s nothing for him to do other than grit his teeth. “’I swim for myself.’ Nanase said it that time, didn’t he? To think of what kind of swimming it is… If you’re just playing, do it elsewhere. When you’re up against me, come at me with all you’ve got!” He didn’t care what Sousuke said. He just swims for himself. He couldn’t stand it when people arbitrarily created illusions and pushed them on him. Or could he be intending to scorn him? If it’s humiliation, he’s had enough of a taste to the point of hating it. (HS2, 7)

Before Haruka leaves the changing room, Sousuke gives him Rin’s letter to read, perhaps to solve Haruka’s reliance on mere talent and lack of drive in hard work (“‘There’s no talent that can surpass hard work.’ It’s what Rin said before going to Australia.” HS2, 7). Sousuke assumes these are Haruka’s problems hindering his athleticism, when in actuality Haruka has too much drive, causing him to overestimate his own ability and over-think its effect on those around him, which are merely reinforced by everyone and himself. Sousuke throws back Haruka’s previous words – that Haruka would swim on his own terms – which frankly leave Sousuke dissatisfied after witnessing Haruka swim beyond his limitations. Sousuke’s disapproval reflects Haruka’s inner critical commentary running through his head. Instead of condemning Haruka as a waste, Sousuke forces Haruka to confront his complacency, his rigidity, his frustrations, because Sousuke – perhaps not fully, but a small part of him, believes in Rin’s faith in Haruka as an ideal swimmer. Sousuke himself is curious in Haruka’s ability. Though Haruka remains impassive towards winning and times, he becomes despondent when he fails to meet others’ expectations, something that unsettles his very core. Contrary to his fiercely independent spirit, Haruka is sensitive to his surroundings, strongly influenced by the emotions of his friends/teammates and opponents – almost to a fault.

Returning to the lull of his daily life, Haruka attends school and practice with minor complications. On his way home he stops by the supermarket alone, purchasing a pack of croquettes. He halts when he stumbles upon Sousuke sitting at the bottom of the steps leading to his house, waiting for Haruka: 

“Hey.” A keychain dangled from [Sousuke’s] raised right hand. A familiar, flat dolphin plate swayed. It was the one [Haruka] bought on the school trip to the aquarium. It was supposed to be attached to his house key…… When he looked at it suspiciously, Sousuke slowly stood up and threw the keychain back to Haruka. “Dropped it in the changing room yesterday.” Receiving it, he turned over the dolphin. Haruka’s name and address were written on it. “Did you go out of your way to bring it to me?” “On the same occasion as paying a sympathy visit. I thought Nanase might still be conked out.”

For someone who has a rather unfavorable opinion of Haruka, Sousuke went out of his way to not only restore Haruka’s possession, but to also check up on his recuperation. Haruka easily invites Sousuke over to share the croquettes as thanks for returning Haruka’s keychain, and Sousuke obliges. Sousuke learns that Haruka’s parents work, thus leaving Haruka alone to his own devices. Haruka treats him hospitably, offering him leftovers he cooked:

“I made it yesterday.” Sousuke’s chopsticks stopped, he looked up fixedly at Haruka’s face. “……Nanase made it?” “That’s right.” “This?” “Uh huh.” [...] Sousuke stared intently at the inside of the tupperware. Then, he took his eyes off of it in a huff and sank his teeth into the croquette again. “I hate bamboo shoots and butterburs,” he said, bluntly. Haruka pulled back the tupperware, and after turning his back to Sousuke, he picked up a bamboo shoot between his fingers and put it in his mouth. [...] After Haruka put the tupperware into the refrigerator, not feeling like looking at Sousuke’s face, he gazed at the recipe. Looked like it would be sweet-and-sour pork tonight.

Sousuke takes a long pause to refuse food he seemingly hates, making certain that Haruka indeed cooked them; whereas Haruka in his dismay, refuses to meet Sousuke’s eyes, reassuring himself that his cooking tastes fine. As Sousuke finishes his meal, he admits that the letter from Rin was actually meant for Haruka, as attested by the writing’s one-sidedness and the faint “you” imprinted underneath the “him” in the line, “I wanna swim as fast as him — as fast as Haru!” With Sousuke being the dutiful type, evident in his returning Haruka’s keyholder and the year he spent under the tutelage of Rin despite finding him to be infuriating, Sousuke predicts Rin expected him to show the letter to Haruka; according to Haruka, it is a self-serving form of encouragement, confounding as ever, that Rin. (“Could [Rin] be telling him to swim? For as much as [Rin] was suffering, could he be requesting for Haruka to swim, too? Could [Rin] be telling [Haruka] to keep swimming in front of [him]? As always, he’s a self-indulgent guy, [Haruka] thought.” HS2, 8)

Putting the last piece in his mouth, Sousuke washed it down with barley tea. “Aah, that was delicious. Thanks for the meal. Oh right, Nanase was doing biaxial, huh?” “Only for about a week so far, though.” “Wow, getting that far in a week, that’s very good.” “Don’t really get it, though.” “So, that start, what is it?”

Sousuke means the start Nao – student coach of Haruka’s swim club – drills into the first years. Haruka demonstrates the secret to the technique – the karuta grab, where two people sit on their knees facing each other, with their hands pushing down on the ground and waist slightly lifted; the first to swipe away a bottle cap sitting between them wins. Sousuke does not contain his wonder and excitement at the display as Haruka teaches it to him. In each implementation, Haruka beats Sousuke, whose hands remain unmoved.

“The rest is learning by repetition.” Picking up the cap, [Haruka] brought the ‘karuta grabbing’ to an end. “Oh, oh. Awesome. The coach at Nanase’s place is awesome!” “He’s manager and trainer.” “Sorry!” Keeping the ‘karuta grabbing’ posture, Sousuke lowered his head. Before, he had looked down on Nao. He was probably apologizing for that, but he didn’t need to go as far as kneeling down. “I’ll tell you in exchange–” Sousuke raised his head. “I’m practicing the biaxial now, too, give the ‘2LR stroke’ a try. It’s a practice where you do the stroke twice left and twice right at a time. You can’t do it unless you put your weight on the axis, so it’s perfect to capture the feel of it.” Haruka raised the corner of his mouth a little. “Sure you should be telling me that? Don’t blame me if you lose.” Standing up while he kept his eyes glued to Haruka, Sousuke raised the corner of his mouth, too. “Who’s gonna lose? Come at me with all you’ve got next time.” The right hand he held out is huge, he thought. He didn’t want to have a heated handshake with such a hand, but he had no reason to decline, either. When he grabbed his hand, Haruka’s energy and Sousuke’s energy flew into each other’s body and he heated up, all the way to his chest. They recognized each other as opponents they couldn’t lose to. That was why he didn’t want to shake hands. Seeing off Sousuke until the front entrance, they parted with a ‘see you later’. The setting sun started to sink into the horizon. He remembered that he had to feed Makkou and go outside. From between the dogwood and longstalk hollies, he could see Sousuke running through the port. His long and lanky shadow grew even longer and swayed. (HS2, 8)

As mentioned before, Sousuke holds himself accountable whenever his misjudgments get the best of him. He performs dogeza, an elegant albeit submissive bow of a person who is irrevocably in the wrong and sincerely apologizes for it. Because the action is perceived by Haruka, it is not made explicit whether Sousuke begs for forgiveness for his belittlement of Nao or for his brusque treatment towards Haruka or for both. By initiating a challenge against Sousuke – a feat unprecedented on Haruka’s end – despite their rocky start and then shaking his hand, Haruka readily acknowledges Sousuke and the energy transmitting from him, which ignites Haruka. They cannot deny the effect they have on each other; Sousuke and Haruka mutually view the other as a potentially worthy rival. They even trade swimming tips, something Haruka normally does not do; Haruka usually does not contribute to discussion regarding the mechanics of swimming, as most of his thoughts are left internalized. Gradually, Sousuke’s negative impressions of Haruka shift, as Haruka’s acceptance of Sousuke as his peer burgeons, cultivating genuine and proactive reciprocation.

Time passes. Haruka practices Sousuke’s 2LR stroke, which corrects his swimming form during the biaxial crawl. Club activities temporarily cease as exam period goes underway. Hospital visits, companionships fumbling as they form and reform, Haruka steadily moves forward...to arrive at Hiyori Swimming Stadium for another tournament, this time with Haruka participating.

Sousuke stood in front of the locker room, leaning his back against the wall. Folding his long arms like he’s finding them to be slightly unmanageable, he was slightly smiling. “Yo.” His gaze fastened onto Haruka. [...] “Uh huh.” Reluctantly just giving a reply, he passed by in front of him. “To Rin –” It seemed that [Sousuke] wouldn’t let them get away with passing by. Stopping, he looked up at Sousuke’s face. “I wrote a letter. About the competition.” “So what?” “That Nanase’s not a big deal.” “And then?” “A reply came from Rin.” “What was it?” “He said not to make light of you so much.” “Then, you shouldn’t. We –” Haruka’s gaze became a strong energy and pierced through Sousuke. Sweating only a single drop, Sousuke withstood it. “Today, it’s the 100 free and medley relay for me. For Nanase?” “The 50 and 100 free. Also, the relay and medley relay.” “Don’t completely exhaust yourself again.” “The start?” “I’ve made it my own.” “Alright then.” Haruka cautiously removed his gaze from Sousuke and went inside the locker room. [...] His heartbeat was awfully agitated. He couldn’t restrain the thing squirming deep in his body. When he thought that perhaps Sousuke had stirred him up, there was vexation as well, but he thought that it also resembled the exhilarating feeling after he swims with full force. It seemed like it wouldn’t calm down for a while.

Their concern for each other – Sousuke preemptively warning Haruka not to tucker himself out and Haruka asking Sousuke on the status of the start Haruka passed down to him – further exemplifies the healthy mutuality of their rivalry. Although Sousuke has not seen a worthwhile performance from Haruka aside from last year’s relay, he approaches Haruka on multiple occasions. If neither mattered to the other, their words and actions would not leave such deep impressions. Though annoyed by how heavily affected he is by Sousuke’s competitive edge, Haruka finds it thrilling, heart-racing. Using his teammates’ feelings, Haruka creates resolve for himself, resolve that turns into energy filling his entire body. Spurred by the encouragements from his friends cheering on the sidelines, Haruka soars, landing in the water’s welcoming arms; he wins and shatters the first-years’ tournament record. Afterwards, is the 100m freestyle event:

In the neighboring lane, – was Sousuke. “Yo, that was perfect.” “I wonder how it would’ve been, if you were there.” Haruka diplomatically told him that it would’ve been a close match if Sousuke had swam. “Pff, I’ll prove it to you.” He was saying that in the race they were going to swim now, he would prove to [Haruka] that his real ability was greater than his. “I won’t lose, though.” H[aruka] has no intention to be fixated on winning or losing. It just meant that if Sousuke wished it, he would swim for real. “That’s good.” [Sousuke] meant to come at him in that spirit. It meant that it wouldn’t be interesting if he didn’t. [...] His reaction time was approximately simultaneous with Sousuke’s. They float in midair like they had synchronized. Raising small splashes, he landed in the water. Dolphin kick from the streamline. Haruka narrowly pulled ahead. However, Sousuke’s true value was from here on out; just when he thought that he forcefully came gaining on him, he easily jumped in front of Haruka. – He felt him. He felt Sousuke to the extent that his skin tingled with electricity. And he understood from the undulations being transmitted that Sousuke was feeling Haruka, too. Sousuke made the turn ahead of him. For a moment, their eyes met. – Come. Sousuke provoked Haruka. He didn’t even need to be told. He released all of his energy at once. He was being heated up. His hands, his feet, his body were burning red. All the water that touched him instantly evaporates.

Because Sousuke and Rin are so alike they are almost treated as alter egos and Haruka’s analytical mind observes through comparisons based on past experiences, Haruka briefly superimposes Rin’s image onto Sousuke. To overtake one, Haruka overtakes the other; overtaking one means he overtakes the counterpart. Since Haruka swims ahead of Rin, he cannot lose to Sousuke.

Furthermore, Sousuke gleefully congratulates on Haruka’s achievement, while Haruka explicitly expresses a yearning to swim against Sousuke, to truly engage in the challenge. Haruka wants to prove himself to Sousuke, and the sentiment is shared:

Touching the goal with his hand, Haruka lifted his face. In the neighboring lane, Sousuke lifted his face as well and breathed in deeply. Sousuke held out his hand over the rope. When he grasped it, while thinking that as always, it’s a huge hand, he felt Sousuke’s lingering energy flowing into him. Again, Sousuke was supposed to be feeling the same thing, too. 

When the time came to enter the course soon, Sousuke called out to Haruka. “Rin’s feelings, I finally understood them.” “What?” “The pressure of being gained on by Nanase.” “That is?” “While swimming, my skin tingled. That was the first time.” “So?” “– But, I’ve already experienced it. Next time, I won’t let you overtake me!” “Only if you can swim ahead of me.” After lightly saying it, Haruka raised the corner of his mouth. Responding to that, Sousuke also smiled fearlessly. After staring into each other’s eyes for a few seconds, prompted by the whistle, they split up and went towards each of their courses. 

While waiting for Asahi on the starting block, Haruka had his eyes turned towards Sousuke, who was in the same heat. The Sousuke he saw through his goggles was lankier than usual. – Sorry. I’ll be making the start first. (HS2, 12)

Unlike his anime counterpart for most of its run, Sousuke in HS2 readily acknowledges Haruka as a swimmer and seeks him out as an opponent, but he neither obsesses over Haruka’s talent nor renders Haruka unattainable. Because their rivalry is not rooted in idealization, it stimulates improvement and frankness beneficial for both individuals. Sousuke makes a declaration of war, and Haruka wholeheartedly meets him halfway. Technically speaking, it is Haruka who reopens the rivalry after the air is clear of misunderstandings, an auspicious moment for him seeing as Haruka has frequently viewed rivalries as wasteful, vexing and thus undesirable.

It wasn't a name that he'd known before, but now that he knew it, it didn't make much difference. Haruka just wanted to remember him: the opponent who had annoyed him so. (HS, 1)

At the idea that there was someone in front of him who could feel the water more than he did, his body had grown hot. The heat had flowed all through him. He hadn't even felt like trying to hold back.

Even after he had climbed up onto the poolside, he continued to smolder, unable to burn off all of his energy. […] And when he thought that someone like Rin had thrown his emotions into disarray like that, he was disgusted with himself. Deeply regretting that he'd let himself be provoked and gotten so thoroughly carried away, Haruka left the pool. (HS, 2)

It was just that there might be someone who could swim faster than Haruka, and that might mean that he could feel the water more than Haruka could, and it was a fact that this left a small knot of worry in Haruka's heart. (HS, 2)

Haruka wasn't going to deny that there was someone who could swim faster than him. But he wasn't going to acknowledge it so easily, either. It wasn't that he wanted to win, or that he hated losing; it was just that he couldn't simply accept that there was someone who could feel the water more than he could. (HS, 3) 

“Yup, I go to Bandou SC and Haru goes to Iwatobi SC, though. Well, it’s like that. What they call rivals.” When [Haruka] thought of Asahi considering them as such, his mood fell another level. (HS2, 2)

Sousuke didn’t avert his gaze from Haruka. The same as Sakuyuki earlier. Every last one of them looked at him with challenging eyes. He can’t stand to take on every single one of them. (HS2, 4)

“I think he’s being impatient. The first years are all experienced, he might be worried that his spot as varsity swimmer will be taken. Like when he was playing soccer……” Ridiculous, [Haruka] thought. He’s not swimming because he wanted to be a varsity swimmer. If [Shouta] wanted that, [Haruka] would let him have it. (HS2, 6)

Making the turn, he passed by Shouta. That made him remember, he was swimming with Shouta. It’s not that he forgot. It’s just that he didn’t feel him. It was only the two of them in the pool, but he couldn’t feel Shouta. What could Shouta be feeling, thinking in the water? Or could it be that he wasn’t feeling anything? If Shouta were to harbor some kind of emotions towards the water, even if they were feeble, they should be conveyed to Haruka. But he didn’t feel anything. Nothing was being conveyed to him. It was a sensation as if he were swimming with a mechanical doll. (HS2, 6)

Backtrack to Haruka’s first experiences with having Rin challenge him – a novelty for Haruka which rankled him deeply – and others subsequently challenging Haruka, and compare those reactions to the ones he has when facing Sousuke. One will see that – according to Ohji’s writing – Haruka’s rivalry with Sousuke is special in its own way, as Sousuke instills a keen thrill within Haruka that he is not only receptive towards, but also attempts to match in response.

I find the anime’s adaptation of Sousuke’s and Haruka’s rivalry paltry, undermining the significance of their development and competition as merely background noise; the show even failed to write a satisfactory conclusion for their conflict. The next part of the series – an analysis on the anime scenes – will go more in-depth on the differences between Ohji’s interpretations versus Kyoani’s interpretations of these characters. 

MARY COMMISSIONED yourhandiheld FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND I’M DYING GOODBYE

scott mccall + reliance

*shoves all of my lux I aquired during last month of khux into your hands* Young Xehanort. The time travelling one, in organization coat. Please good sir, I'm starving.

Poor soul. I'll have pity on you