Reunion?

Having a ship shoved down your throat because it’s the most popular in a fandom ಠ_ಠ

Having your own ship violated in fanfiction for the sake of the popular ship ಠ_ಠ

Having posts about your ship hijacked by the popular ship ಠ_ಠ

Getting really fucking tired of hearing about the popular ship and then being asked how you can dislike it so much ಠ_ಠ

Pre-menstrual depression is always depicted as like "He He! I had a box of icecream bars and cried while watching the Titanic!" But in reality, it's more like, "I'm standing the edge of an abyss. There is nothing good inside of me, I'm filled with rage and desperation."

It's crazy that being told how to deal with that is never a part of anyone's menstrual sex education.

new kw office au doodle page dropped

googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much

male supremacists of color are not handling the exposure of the 4B movement and south asian feminism(s) very well, in light of the kolkata victim and the sexual and physical abuse of south korean women and girls. they are very anxious about the global female solidarity occurring online. male supremacists of all races harbor anxiety over losing control of “their women” due to feminist consciousness, and all male supremacists accuse “their women” of being race traitors for not upholding their ideal form of patriarchy. colonized women can criticize white men for male violence, because colonized men do not want to be controlled by them either, but we must not criticize the men who share our colony for enforcing misogynistic repression. colonized men want to claim their rightful property, without white male influence. their ideal world is one where the yoke of imperialism is abolished, where they are granted freedom from physical and sexual abuse, but the status of women remains intact. they want women to be obedient, because complaining about misogyny makes colonized men appear weak in front of white men. they are right to complain about women of color “emasculating” them for being feminists. to them, “emasculation” occurs when they are denied their right to claim us as property, when they, too, are denied control. don’t fall for these manipulations. their misogyny is not more benevolent, their victimization doesn’t preclude them from patriarchal social control, don’t allow them to make you silently wait in line. either we’re all free, or no one is. 🫡

@e-p-hart responded to this post:

What I'm hearing is that you want to know how to confront racism in fandom without hurting the feelings of predominantly white women who participate in patterns that negatively impact fans of color (especially Black fans, since MANY of the patterns involve antiblackness).

The answer to that is that you can't. There's no easy way to confront these patterns in fandom (or education, or tech, etc etc -- you're correct that racism isn't only a Kylo/Rey shipper issue, but there is a reason Kylo/Rey is being talked about regarding antiblackness in fandom) without people getting their feelings hurt. But here's the thing: these patterns have been harming people in the fandom for a long time. One of the major facets of the racial empathy gap is that the hurt feelings of white people matter more than harm done to Black people, unless those Black people agree with them. And that otherization of Black people talking about antiblackness causes more hurt, widens the gap, and causes intracommunal discord.

When we talk about racism in fandom, it's not about individuals being inherently bad people. Of course racism is bad, but that bad/good dichotomy is harmful, because it ignores that a lot of racism is socially acceptable. It's socially acceptable to shut down people of color when we talk about racism. It's socially acceptable to say "not all white people" as if the fact that exceptions exist reduces the actual harm caused by things like the empathy gap and otherization, which are also socially acceptable. Focusing on the exceptions and calling it a day does nothing to work against racism, and in fact allows it to flourish.

Why are people talking about Kylo and Rey shippers and racism? Because there has been a long pattern of erasing, demeaning and demonizing both Finn and John Boyega, which culminated into a clapback from Boyega himself. We've seen a steady Black Brute narrative attached to Boyega over the past few weeks where it has been suggested that he is a threat to Daisy Ridley and more broadly to "woman fans." Understand that is a very dangerous narrative that has caused harm and even death to Black men. Even if they don't know they're doing it, it's harmful. And yes, Kylo and Rey shippers are doing this, including influential women in the media. R/K shippers have also recently tried to aggressively silence a Black scholar who talks about racism in fandom. (I was directly involved in this incident and it is well documented).

Certainly, all R/K shippers aren't doing this, but the ones doing it are R/K shippers. You said you doubt women of color in fandom have gotten more racism from R/K shippers than anyone else. I urge you to listen to Black women who talk about antiblackness in fandom. Speaking for myself, your doubts are wrong, and I've been in various online fandoms since the '90s. I've never had smear campaigns against me from any other ship. I've never been harassed by a Kylo/Hux shipper, and it's also a ship that focuses on white characters. In fact, I get along with a lot of Kylo/Hux shippers and am mutuals with some, even though I've criticized patterns in white slash shipping. I get along with Kylo Ren fans (villain fans and self shippers). I get along with Finn/Poe shippers even though I've said I think Finn/Rey was set up in TFA and have criticized racist FinnPoe fics. But to Kylo/Rey shippers, I'm a demon who needs to be taken down. Believe me when I say they've tried.