One Of The Best Ways I’ve Found To Combat That Inherent Depressive Pessimism Without Veering Into Toxic

helpful reminders + ways to support abortion seekers in the US right now

some thoughts/reminders based on what i’ve seen on social media today:

this decision doesn’t just impact women! it impacts anyone who has a uterus! say what you mean and mean what you say, your words have weight and meaning! (glad we could clear that up)

grieving is normal. having big, messy, unwieldy feelings is normal. taking the time to recognize and sit in those emotions is important. wanting to protest is good. wanting to change things is great. being in touch enough with your emotions to recognize that you’re experiencing trauma is just as important.

everyone processes differently. my reaction may not look like your reaction, and yours might not look like the reactions of your friends/family members. many people have jobs/situations that preclude them from taking the sort of actions they’d like to in response to this/other social injustices they’ve seen recently. hold space for those people, the people sticking it out in places where they can’t speak their minds for the sake of creating a better place for those who come after them.

the people in the U.S. didn't ask for this. CNN polled americans after the draft opinion leaked in early may, and at the time 59% of respondents said that they'd support congressional legislation codifying nationwide abortion rights. I know it's easy to make fun of the U.S. by calling us a dumpster fire or saying you're glad your country didn't do this, but know that there are real people on the other side of the globe from you who are reeling from the whiplash of swiveling their gaze between children being gunned down in their schools and the supreme court attempting to delegitimize reproductive rights. it's not a joke for them, particularly not for those who fall into multiple minority communities and will now be facing the brunt of this ruling head-on in more ways than one.

for fucks sake. donate to abortion healthcare providers. not just PP (we love them too, but the smaller ones need the most help). learn how to support yourself/your friends in the event that you need to get an abortion and don’t live in a state where it’s protected. spend time/money investing in the protection of the rights of the groups that found out halfway through the morning that they have fewer rights than family members only one generation above them. grieve with them. care for them. act just as loudly as your words and posts.

Some helpful links re:putting your money where your mouth is below the cut

Links:

National Abortion Federation (the largest national, toll-free, multi-lingual Hotline for abortion referrals and financial assistance in the U.S. and Canada, providing callers with accurate information, confidential consultation, and referrals to providers of quality abortion care)

National Network of Abortion Funds (direct donation to over 90 local abortion providers, allows you to customize your donation amount + direction)

The Abortion Privacy Guide (how to safely search for abortion access from a device)

Abortion Finder (comprehensive directory of verified abortion service providers)

Repro Legal Helpline (help with specific, legal questions about an abortion experience)

Mayday Health’s Twitter Thread and Plan C (directions on how to request abortion pills for at-home abortion access)

Donations4Abortions (resource to help you find local funds to support from state to state)

Indigenous Women Rising (abortion fund for all indigenous people who are seeking abortion services)

The Brigid Alliance (national abortion fund that arranges/funds all aspects of the abortion process no matter where the person seeking the abortion is located)

I Need An A (provides personalized, up to date info on how to get an abortion)

MA Hotline (licensed healthcare providers to answer medical questions during an at home miscarriage/abortion)

Exhale Pro-Voice, Connect and Breathe (post-abortion counseling services)

Reprocare (emotional support during medical abortion process)

i cannot emphasise enough how much you need to create something. anything. it doesn't matter if you suck. you don't need to monetise it, or make it your career. you can restart an old hobby; you can start from scratch. it doesn't matter. you just need to hold something and be able to say "i did that". baking, drawing, painting, writing, coding, crafts, whatever. make something ! you cannot have all your hobbies be a form of consumption. it's fun, it's great in its own right. but the single best action to make yourself feel better, to calm your mind, to gain self esteem, is to Create

The fall stoat is here!

If you'd like this baby as a print, it's part of the rewards of the month on my ko-fi (along with a sword bookmark)

I’m all scratched up and I can still taste spray paint in my mouth and my husband almost fell out of a tree BUT THE GHOST SCULPTURES ARE FINISHED!

They’re finally finished and I’m so happy with them!!

Some progress shots:

that task you’ve been putting off? that chore you’ve been procrastinating? whatever responsibility it is that you’ve been ignoring, try this: set a timer and dedicate 15 minutes to doing it, and when the timer stops, so do you. you may not complete it in that time frame, and that’s totally okay, because now you’ve made some progress. and guess what? a small victory is still a win

Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.

I’ve been thinking about 1x03 of The Last of Us and I think why it kicked so many of us right in the heart so hard is because, fundamentally, it said “hey, you’re not going to change this incredibly traumatic forever-altered world you’re in. You - as one person- cannot do that. It is the single most important thing to live and love and build things anyway, you cannot put those things off until the world goes back to normal because it won’t, ever, but there’s room for strawberries here, in this version of this world.”

I think that’s why this particular story doesn’t feel exhausting or entrapping in the way most apocalypse media does in a world that still very much dealing with March of 2020.

a quick “why is my life so bad” checklist

how’s your sleep schedule

have you eaten or drank anything besides sugar and caffeine

how long have you been sitting in one spot

have you gone out in public recently

have you taken a shower/brushed your teeth/groomed yourself properly

have you spent time doing an activity that doesn’t involve a screen

etc

your life is not an optimization problem