Look at my girl causing problems!
#illustration
#D&D Character Art
there HAS to be a reason for this
@pickulohsmash Eylsa? Is that you?
"I hate you the second least out of anyone in the party!" -the Bard's attempt at giving inspiration
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REBLOG THIS IF you love your DnD character, are making a DnD character OR you have eaten approximately 12 D20s
Note: this is specifically written for D&D 5E.
The illnesses in the DMG mostly seem to be written as a hazard for the PCs, or a way to legally screw them over if they fail an ill-timed Constitution save. However, sickness in real life is more than that, as exhibited by everyone whoโs ever gotten a cold. And as I am currently sick, I felt ideally suited to write about this.
Sickness comes in a lot of different forms, and even the exact same condition can have different symptoms depending on the day. If everything given here applies to a character, then that character is having a VERY bad time and should probably just have stayed home and rested and not gone adventuring. If itโs just one or two things though, that would be someone whoโs slightly sick but โIโm fine itโs not that bad I can still go and fightโ.
Youโre not required to select everything listed under a symptom. Theyโre all different ways in which something might be expressed, and some are more intense than others.
Everything here is intended to be optional, like if you want to play as someone who is kind of sick, or have an NPC with a cold, or even as a mild curse on a magic item.
BODY ACHES: everything hurts from the neck down.
You have disadvantage on all Acrobatics and Athletics checks.
Every hour, make a DC 12 Constitution save. On a failure, if you are wearing armour or heavy clothing, you gain a level of exhaustion until you take it off; if you are not wearing armour or heavy clothing, you gain a level of exhaustion until you put some on. Note that this does not grant proficiency with any armour, nor remove any armour-related restrictions.
COUGHING: we all know and hate it.
You have disadvantage on Stealth checks that require you to be quiet. In an area of magical silence, or in a noisy environment, for example, this penalty does not apply.
Whenever you attempt to cast a spell with a verbal component, make a DC 10 Concentration check. On a failure, you are unable to properly perform the verbal component due to coughing; the action taken to cast the spell is wasted, but the spell slot is not used.
DECREASED IMMUNE SYSTEM: as if being sick wasnโt bad enough, now youโre more likely to get even more sick.
You have disadvantage on Constitution saves against contracting a disease or suffering the poisoned condition.
DISTORTED APPETITE: you need to eat, but itโs hard to eat.
Any time you attempt to eat or drink something, it has a 25% chance to seem utterly disgusting to you, and require a DC 12 Wisdom save to actually eat or drink it.
Unless you succeed on a DC 10 Constitution save, you can only ingest half the normal amount of food per day; anything more than that gets brought back up. Note that this does not change how much food you actually require.
EARS CLOGGED UP: how are ears even connected to the nose and throat, it just seems unfair.
You have disadvantage on Perception checks that rely on hearing.
You take a -2 penalty on any skill checks that require producing or hearing music.
FOGGY BRAIN: itโs hard to think when your head feels like itโs full of cotton.
You have disadvantage on all ability checks to recall information.
You have disadvantage on all ability checks to learn new information.
Your passive Perception is treated as 5 lower than usual.
If you succeed in your saving throw against an effect that would induce the charmed or frightened conditions, and which has no effect on a successful save, you donโt even notice. Unless the caster was very obvious about directing the spell at you, you have no idea that you were a target.
GENERAL BLAHS: uuuugghh.
You take a -1 penalty to all skill checks.
You take a -1 penalty to all attack rolls.
You take a -1 penalty to all saving throws.
LETHARGY: you wish youโd stayed in bed, and you probably should have stayed in bed.
Your speed is reduced by 5 feet.
You have disadvantage on saves against effects that would restrain you or render you unconscious.
Whenever you take a short rest, make a DC 10 Wisdom save. On a failure, you doze off and are unable to perform any other actions during that short rest, and can only spend one hit dice to recover.
You have disadvantage on initiative rolls.
RUINED VOICE: after extended bouts of intense coughing, you can barely speak.
You canโt verbally communicate with anyone farther than ten feet from you.
Any Performances checks to sing are both at disadvantage and have a -5 penalty.
Social checks that would involve speaking are made at disadvantage, due to how your voice sounds and/or your unfamiliarity at communicating without normal speech.
Whenever you attempt to cast a spell with a verbal component, roll a spellcasting ability check, against a DC of 8 + the spellโs level (cantrips count as zero-level). On a failure, you canโt get the magic to accept words formed with your wrecked voice, and the action used to cast the spell is wasted (but the spell slot is not used up).
Your voice is unrecognizable. You need alternate methods to confirm your identity. However, if youโre trying to pass yourself off as a different person to someone who only has your voice to go off of, you automatically succeed if they have no reason to be suspicious, and you have advantage on the Deception check otherwise.
STUFFED NOSE: if nothing can get in through your nose, it doesnโt seem right that so much mucus can come out from your nose.
You canโt smell anything. You automatically fail Perception or Investigation checks relying on scent.
You cannot breathe through your nose. If your mouth is covered, you risk suffocating.
Your voice sounds weird when N comes out as D and M comes out as B and other sounds are likewise distorted. You have a -2 penalty on verbal Persuasion, Deception, and Intimidation checks, as people have a hard time taking you seriously.
TEMPERATURE FLUCTUATIONS: you feel too hot, and then you feel too cold, and then you feel too hotโฆ.
You have disadvantages on saves against the effects of extreme heat or cold.
The only way youโve found to stay comfortable is with an awkward and constricting array of blankets. You have disadvantage on all Dexterity-based skill checks and Dexterity saves. If you choose to not wear the blankets, you instead have disadvantage on attack rolls and on skill checks that take more than a single action to complete.
WATERY EYES: you legitimately are not crying from pain, but nobody will believe you on that.
You have disadvantage on Perception checks relying on sight.
You have disadvantage on Intimidation checks against someone who can see your eyes.
((Also posted on Pillowfort, here.))
Butt Fear.
Oh my.
Use your birthday to figure outย your own personalย knuckle tattoos!
January: DRUG February: HATE March: DICK April: REAL May: DIRT June: THUG July: CASH August: GIRL September: FIST October: SHIT November: BUTT December: KILL 1st: CITY 2nd: RIOT 3rd: FACE 4th: FEAR 5th: GRIN 6th: WOLF 7th: PISS 8th: RASH 9th: DOGS 10th: TITS 11th: LUBE 12th: SAND 13th: FIRE 14th: KIDS 15th: BIRD 16th: NERD 17th: BOYS 18th: MOMS 19th: DADS 20th: VEIN 21st: WURM 22nd: FART 23rd: TRAP 24th: MOAN 25th: HOLE 26th: KING 27th: FUCK 28th: EYES 29th: LIFE 30th: LOVE 31st: STAB
DM: The cart is crushing Fauchelevent. If it continues much longer, he will die.
Valjean: I want to lift the cart.
DM: โฆ Roll strength.
Valjean: NAT 20. Plus 6.
DM: God. Okay. You start to lift the cart and inspire the townsfolk to help you. He is saved.
Javert: I ROLL INSIGHT -
Wait for itโฆ
30+. Professional nerd. D&D trash. Hibernating fic writer.
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