Me Vs Every Other Gay Man My Age

Me: Honestly, being gay doesn’t define me. It’s just a part of me. Me, Showing Up for Anything Ever:

olivia de recat for the new yorker

Some places don’t even name the charity like you’re just donating to the corporation’s tax writeoff. You’re better off giving that money to a homeless person on the street who needs it more..

for the last time...

No, I currently do not have plans to attend medical school.

No, I currently do not have plans to apply to medical school for this round of applications.

No, I have not entirely ruled out the possibility of applying to and then attending medical school, should I be accepted.

No, I am not mad or upset that you asked or were curious about my post-graduate plans.

Yes, I am planning on one day making some sort of contribution to the advancement and enrichment of society and utilizing the myriad skills and lessons I learned while attending my ultra-expensive university. It would also be great to give back to the family and friends who have given so much of themselves to me.

But no, I do not have every single aspect of my entire life planned out at this very moment.

No, I am not sorry for failing to conform to whatever expectations you built around my career when you first met me and you learned my plans and you became familiar with my talents.

Yes, I am somewhat lost.

But no, I will not apologize for letting that happen. I learned so much about myself in college and I'm actually really proud of the way that I challenged myself to strive for something beyond what I was used to, beyond what I planned for myself, beyond what you may have planned for me. 

Yes, I'm a little scared.

But yes, I am trying to figure some things out. 

Yes, I believe in myself and my abilities.

Yes, I think I'm strong enough to make it through. I hope you do too.

And yes, I am always appreciative your support and your friendship.

(P.S. Yes, I took the MCAT. And I killed that shit.)

what the hell do i know?

one thing that i've noticed upon coming home to arizona is that i've given more scrutiny to the individual behaviors of my family. it sounds almost clinical or psychological--but it's not a process i actively engage in for some sort of cold, scientific purpose. i think it's just part of being away from them for so long; i feel like i've become more sensitive not only to the things that make me miss them, but also to the things about them that i don't miss at all while i'm at school in los angeles (or in the case of this past semester, australia).

what i'm interested in is what i do in response when these things make themselves evident. i catch myself chastising my siblings, parents, or friends, either out loud or quietly to myself, when they do something or act in a certain way that , from my perspective, is wrong or disrespectful. i feel a sense of entitlement, like my self-supposed worldliness enables me, even obligates me to tell them what's right from what's wrong.

i guess what i struggle with is this protective desire to better my family, to make them more cultured, to make their lives more enjoyable, to broaden their sometimes narrow worldviews (again, from my perspective). but the fact of the matter is that i am one sibling away from being the youngest member of my whole family. relative to the older five members, what the hell do i know?

honestly, and i don't say this to gloat, i think the answer to that question is: a lot. one thing that's nice about having a large family is that we all bring so many unique perspectives to the table. random facts: my dad joined the u.s. navy in the middle of college while in the philippines, so that he could raise money to send back home to my grandparents; my older brother and older sister have been in relationships for almost ten years each; my little sister is the youngest of five children; i'm the only one who's attended university in los angeles. these aren't necessarily earth-shattering differences by any means, but they illustrate something i think i understand a little bit better: the members of a family all have different experiences and think and act in different ways that may sometimes clash. i think what makes the family strong is how they stick together through it all.

so while i definitely don't think i should try to force my ideas about what's proper on anybody in my family, i don't think it's necessarily wrong to share them, as long as i do it tactfully and respectfully. i'm lucky that they know it's just out of love.

Holy shit

Y'all hear his voice cracking like fresh puberty?!  He MAD mad and that’s what I want from Democrats in Congress.

“What is going on?! You are in charge of the House, Senate, and White House. Get a grip and learn how to govern the country!”

(He wanted to cuss so bad. 💅)