“You Were Trying To Save A Wish For Me?”

My Vox Machina designs! These were part of a critter-run project called #VoxArtisana that you can check out here!

Matthew Mercer’s beautiful singing 

fearne and braius redraw someone pls

So I was rewatching Nott and Caleb’s conversation in e27 — the one where Nott talks about Molly’s impact on her and how much she loves the party. And there’s a couple of parts where she talks about her (and Caleb’s) life before the M9, how she was “in the darkness,” “hiding in the shadows and ducking into alleys to get away from people,” safe but “not really alive.” 

And it struck me, given recent revelations, that Nott probably is probably talking about her life before she became a goblin, too. 

Because yes, of course, Veth was happy with Yeza and Luke. But it’s clear that even in her happiness, she struggled with heavy self-esteem issues, heavy enough that when she became a goblin — after heroically saving her family — she saw her situation as a projection of her worst insecurities. Veth, as a halfling, was anxious (though maybe not so much as Nott); she suffered emotional scars from years of childhood, both from neighbours and her own family. Even before she became a goblin, Veth must have ducked into alleys to get away from people. She must have spent time hiding in shadows, out of breath, waiting for her bullies to stop chasing her. Maybe, when she was older, avoiding all the people who had bullied her as a kid.

And speaking as someone who was bullied as a kid and is still dealing with that as an adult: that shit, that anxiety and low self-esteem from being ridiculed as a kid, it really does feel like darkness. It does feel like you’re not really living. It’s really hard to live to your fullest potential, when you’re barely coping. And I think that, as happy as Veth was at the apothecary, with her family, that she was probably going through a fair bit of that. 

The situation that eventually led her to the M9 was horrible, of course, and it’s awful that she’s been separated from her family. But her experiences with the party — “having fun and winning contests and killing bad guys and rescuing children,” as she tells Caleb — are really good for her, in many ways. Veth ran from bullies, but Nott stands up to a blue dragon. Veth didn’t have many friends, but Nott has a whole new group of people whom she loves and would protect with her life, a group of people who rely on her and care for her. She’s a successful, brave hero, and sometimes, when she’s delivered the killing blow, she even feels that way. Something Veth never felt, probably could never imagine herself feeling. 

Nott’s newfound happiness with the M9 was touching before, but now, it’s even more touching knowing that she did have some happiness before, and this is still a new, wonderful experience, something she’d never have gotten back in Felderwin, something that may help to heal some of her childhood trauma. And I hope that she does get to settle back down with her family someday, but I think that if she does, she’ll be so much better for her adventures. 

Caleb’s terrible accents

(Apparently caleb trying to talk like other people isn’t suitable for tumblr)

My name is Nott the Brave and I am a little goblin girl.

Thursday By Night #2 | Laura and Sam Have a Dance Battle

Bonus:

OMG WHAT IS THAT FACE EVEN