When I (fucking Finally) Finish This Semester I Plan To Do A Deep Dive Into TQFT And Frobenius Algebras

i am! obsessed! with this book from the late ming dynasty about scams to watch out for (esp. if you are a traveling merchant). this guy is like, there ARE immortals who can survive without food but you WILL NOT encounter them because they live alone in the mountains and don't talk to anyone. if a monk comes to your house and claims to not need to eat, it's probably because he's secretly eating human fetuses, or something. eunuchs are invariably corrupt and the court system is useless. however, do NOT try to bribe anyone for a better SAT result for your idiot failson; this never works. nuns WILL try to seduce your wife into cheating on you. if your idiot failson does really badly on the SAT, make sure to have his father's remains buried somewhere with A+ fengshui; this is Guaranteed to work (unless your wife is cheating on you).

Person: *breathes*

Graph Theorists: NO NOT THAT KIND OF GRAPH

I have just met you and I love you (via)

just had a reflection about perfectionism. today I had an exam for which I was prepared very well, but my stupid brain happened and I didn't get the highest grade. my boyfriend was comforting me and he asked since when I want to ace everything, this question made me think

indeed, I don't want to ace everything. I am taking 4 courses this semester, one of which I don't care about enough to strive for the best grade, one of which is way too hard to aim that far, two of which I thought were achievable. and now I didn't achieve that. it feels different to set unrealistic goals and then never achieve them than to set very realistic ones and still fail, that's what I realized today

I am not a perfectionist. I used to be, years ago, and then I learned to set realistic goals. now I'm thinking, isn't perfectionism a kind of a coping mechanism? deep down you know your goals are impossible, so it's not really surprising when you fail. you are never satisfied, sure, but maybe it does feel more safe this way than to not know if you will be satisfied or disappointed. if that's the case then setting realistic goals is absolutely not the way to heal perfectionism

moreover tiktok adhd content is not even good lol most of it is videos themed "things I didn't know were adhd" and they actually are personality traits and it's not helpful at all with anything

just saw a post complaining about how hard it is to find adhd resources for adults and one of the comments said “tiktok has a lot of adhd tips” as if telling someone with adhd to enter the algorithmic quicksand of perpetual dopamine hits isn’t the most insane thing you could suggest for someone with adhd

17 IX 2022

for the past few days life was treating me quite aggressively. today I had a terrible migraine, I feel weak and tired in general. doing math in a state like that isn't as pleasant so obviously I didn't do much, prioritized my health instead

during the semester I used The introduction to manifolds by Loring Tu to study analysis and I forgot that there were many nice exercises there that I didn't have time for but promised myself I would try them eventually

so tonight was the night and I studied grassmannians

I had some "results" done on my own, which later confirmed to be true, namely that the grassmannian over ℝⁿ for a 1-dim subspace is equivalent to a projective space of dimension n-1. I'm pretty sure that we are getting the projective of the same dimension for n-1 dim subspaces but I didn't calculate anything for n>3 so I might go back to that one day

it's fun to get hunches like that even if they turn out to be completely obvious to the authors of textbooks lmao

I am finally in the place with studying the theory for homology, commutative algebra and apparently differential topology (as it turned out today), where I have a variety of exercises I can try and that's the good part for me, always helps to get deeper insights and allows me to be more active

a friend asked me for a talk about the zariski topology in the context of algebraic sets and spectra of rings, so I'll see her soon for that. she will give me a personalized lecture about her thesis, which is about general topology. I am not a big fun of general topo but I'm always a slut for lectures about math so am excited for that

I hope my body will get its shit together because I still have to prep my lecture on euclidean geometry and when I don't feel good it's super difficult to motivate myself to do things that are not super exciting. I will never see productivity as a value on its own for this very reason lol I can barely do anything I don't find interesting

Here’s a long but important comic for you <3

Accepting ourselves the way we are means we allow ourselves the things we need to make life a little easier. You don’t have to fight it, it’s ok have different needs to others. You are worthy of kindness, so be kind to you <3

love from the sad ghost club <3

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Me, playing poker: Man, I fold

The sphere sat across the table: yes?

mood: filling an open set with dyadic cubes and pretending this is studying measure theory

Energy Management

A human-based organization method

click on images for better resolution; images also available here (link to google drive)

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Getting stuff done: How to deal with a lack of motivation

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The ABCDE Method