Rose

“As soon as you begin to ask the question, Who loves me? you are completely screwed, because the next question is How Much? and then it is hundreds of hours later, and you are still hunched over your flowcharts and abacus, trying to decide if you have gotten enough. This is the loneliest job in the world: to be an accountant of the heart. It is late at night. You are by yourself, and all around you, you can hear the sounds of people moving in and out of love, pushing the turnstiles, putting their coins in the slots, paying the price which is asked, which constantly changes. No one knows why.”

— Tony Hoagland, “The Loneliest Job in the World”

the urge to be hugged for 4 hrs

1000 likes!

“Some things go too deep to be forgotten.”

— John Galsworthy, The Forsyte Saga

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”

—

#. 𝐕𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧 | 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

‹3 gif originally posted by nctsworld

[ ; M.List including other Neos! ]

─ Synopsis: Unexpectedly, your own demons had crept up on you without any warning. Being all too familiar with this feeling of anxiety, doubt, and insecurity - you have broken down into tears in front of your boyfriend.  No matter how many tears have been shed, Johnny Suh is your vitamin willing to fight off every plague affecting your mind.

─ Pairing: Idol!Johnny Suh x Gender-Neutral Reader

─ Genre: One-Shot, Angst w. Comfort, Fluff/Wholesome

─ Concepts: Idol!Johnny Suh, established relationship, johnny comforting reader basically, cuddling with johnny <3, reader being insecure / feeling like a burden, implications of reader suffering with depression / depressive episodes, some johnny humor because it makes my heart ache less when writing it, this hitting too close to home why tf did i write this at 2 am

─ Count of Words: 3.2k

─ Inspiration of the work: Godspeed by Frank Ocean + “Girl, you gotta take it all baby and i’ll be your therapist for the day, that’s okay.” (Vitamin by NCT 127) 

❒ a/n: this is self-indulgent, but please take care of yourself. i really do hope yall are doing alright <3 just a reminder: you guys arent alone! and it’s okay to have bad days. stay safe ෆ

Something felt wrong today.

It was one of those days where you returned back home from work, the long hours taking a toll on your drained body and your mind weighing heavily with unexpected burdens. Though today was no different from your usual schedule, you suddenly reached a limit of your own mentality; however, what could have triggered it? You cannot find one explanation or one reason why it would happen so suddenly.

To you, it was simply one of those days where you begin to crumble without much real reason; fingertips gripping onto the surface tightly yet begging to loosen, as though you didn’t mind the idea of falling.

Standing in front of the counter with a heavy chest, you came to a pause with what you were doing; the cup of ramen steaming in front of you, a cloud of heat rising and causing your own vision to become hazy. Tiredly, you look down at the softened noodles, the packets of spices sitting near your frozen hands. Slowly turning to the time displayed on the microwave with green, glowing numbers; you read the late numbers of the night, knowing your boyfriend will be coming home in a few minutes.

Knowingly, Johnny Suh would be returning with his own tiredness cursing his tensed body. But, you could vividly imagine him returning home with a smile appearing on his face upon seeing you; his whole body led to you, as though he had a set course every time he sees you - he is always navigating his way to you, no matter how heavy his body feels. No matter how his feet drags, he is approaching you with a warm smile and eyes flickering like a steady flame of a candle.

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But an unquenchable love for you has never left me...

{Quotes: Alejandra Pizarnik, Approximations/Simone de Beauvoir, from Diary of a Philosophy Student: Volume 2, 1928-9; Sunday, October 7/chen chen, nature poem in ‘when i grow up i want to be a list of further possibilities’/sue zhao/ Sylvia path / Maggie Nelson, Bluets/Richard siken/Ingeborg Bachmann, In the Storm of Roses from ‘The Poem for the Reader’, tr. Mark Anderson ,paintings: pinterest}

softies

touch (mark lee)

lowercase intended

“stop touching me,” mark tells haechan, removing the said man’s arm from his shoulders. “y/n, how do you deal with your boyfriend being like this?” haechan asks. you giggle at the scene in front you. mark isn’t really fond of physical touches even with you, his girlfriend. you have been dating for 5 months now, and you were used to it. he wouldn’t even let you hold his hands for more than a minute. it made you sad at first, but he explained that he just doesn’t like being touched often, and you understood him. it doesn’t mean he loves you less.

a month after

you and mark were both sitting on his couch, watching a movie you weren’t paying attention to anymore. you were busy looking at mark, and how cuddly he looks. you know how it will end if you try to cuddle— him subtly pushing you off him after a few minutes— but you would take those few minutes in his arms any day, so you slowly position yourself, and cuddle him. he wraps his hands around you, and gives you kisses on your forehead. you smile at him, and seize the moment. after a minute, you slowly get off him knowing he would do it himself. “where are you going?” he asks. “hmm? just here beside you,” you smile at him. “come here, let’s cuddle,” he pouts. “getting used to my touches now?” you joke, “the only touch i want on me forever.”