“Some Walks You Have To Take Alone.” - Suzanne Collins

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”

― Jamie Anderson

Kiss Kiss / LDH

words suggested by; anon (mwah)

words; Haechan. Hugs. White. True love. Forehead/eyelid kisses.

(if confused, see post rebloged about me waiting to write blurbs with words suggested. suggestions are still open!)

———

You hated the cold; everything about it was just so gloomy and well— cold. The window curtains weren't pulled back enough to see the blizzard raging outside, the curtains weren't pulled back to see the obscenely bright snow that fluttered across the sky. Yet, despite the cold weather outside, you were warm. So comfortably warm. His arms wrapped around your stomach, your own hands intertwined with Hyuck's as his soft snores filled your ears.

Snow days were probably the best and the worst winter phenomena that occur once every full moon; you loved it because a, you didn't have to go to work, and b, you would be stuck with your favorite person on earth. There wasn't a con unless staying inside all warm and cozy was one, you didn't have a chance to complain.

Carefully turning around because forbid you woke him up, your eyes lingered on Donghyuck's face. How peaceful and beautiful he looked, the way his chest fell into a steady rhythm, his soft features were angelic and delicate as he slept.

Unconsciously, you brought your hand to his face, lightly caressing his cheek. He was so perfect, not meant for this world. Your heart swelled, and the mere thought of him in your life sprang tears to your eyes and sent a wave of happiness coursing through your body.

He's yours. The love of your life is yours.

You gave him a small but lingering kiss on his forehead before pulling back the covers to get ready for the day. However, his arms around your waist didn't move, and the smile that tugged his lips didn't go unnoticed.

"Have you been awake all this time?"

Hyuck's eyes cracked open, "just long enough to know that you kissed me."

"Really?"

"Mh-hm," he let out a yawn, a small smile crossing his face. "Can I show you where you kissed me?"

"I don't know," you hummed, "can you?"

He didn't respond and only brought his face towards yours, peppering your face your kisses on your nose, your cheeks, your eyelids, your lips— just all over your face.

Soft giggles echoed through the room, ones that only got louder and louder as time went on. The cold winter storm outside was nothing compared to the warmth and love that you felt inside the comforts of your boyfriend's arms.

My mental state is: If you give me a long hug I might start crying.

this made me cry LORD ITS 1 AM

February 1st - j. jaehyun

not my gif

a retired idol, dad! jaehyun blurb, brought to you by my self-indulgent wattpad drafts :P

fluff :))

Everything started back on February 1st, my first day back at work in a while. I had taken some time off to go back home to take care of my mom- but now, I’m back, going back to work.

I was sitting, reading my book when my phone buzzed. I searched through my purse, fishing it out from the bottom of the bag. The screen flashed a familiar name with a message underneath it.

Hwang Chaerin

Hey babe

y/n

Chae, what’s up

Hwang Chaerin

Jaem is testing me on kpop

For some reason??

y/n

LMAO OKAY AND?

Hwang Chaerin

Well bc u were into it, and I wasn’t

Can you help me with this one?

y/n

What is it, like a picture?

Hwang Chaerin

Exactly that

I’m sending it

Hwang Chaerin attached a photo

Would you like to view it?

Yes | No

Yes | No

I opened the picture and zoomed in to check the persons face, earning a giggle that came from the left.

“Daddy look, it’s you.” A small, child-like voice, said from the same side of the giggle. A soft, yet deep voice came from the man beside me.

“Oh, I look so young there,” he gasped. “But it’s rude to look at other people’s phones.”

“Sorry Miss.” A small, very tiny hand poked at my knee.

I looked up to see a small little girl, being held by a man, her father, I'm guessing.

“It’s no problem.” I smiled at the child. I turned back to face in front of me, my brain took an extra few seconds to register what had just happened. “Oh, you’re…” I pointed at the man. “Oh, that’s cool.” I said slowly, making him laugh. The man from the photo took off his baseball cap, revealing his features.

“Were you a fan?” he tilted his head to the side.

“More of a casual listener.”

“Favourite song?”

“Back to you.”

“Did you have a favourite member?”

I sat deep in thought for a few seconds before responding. “No, not really.” Shaking my head.

“Hmm~” he hummed with a soft smile as the train pulled to a stop, my stop.

Getting up quickly, I turned and bowed slightly.

“Well, it was nice meeting you… sir?” I knit my brows, making the man laugh. “And it was nice meeting you, cutie.” I waved to the little girl, who waved back in excitement.

“BYE!” she hollered as I stepped out of the subway.

Once I got outside of the station, I paused and texted my sister.

y/n

Jeong Jaehyun

his choice

summary: at the end of the day, haechan chooses you despite the distance in time and proximity. but why do you feel so... guilty?

notes: idol!haechan, long distance relationship, no amount of fluff detected in this fic lol 221130 haechan i have real feelings for you

genre: angst | word count: 1.4k

- “baby?”, haechan says on the other line.

“haech… hi.”

you were laying on your bed. it has been a long, tiring week. on the other hand, haechan was sitting in front of his laptop. he was trying to fix his phone, trying to find the right angle for you to see his face clearly via facetime. once he felt everything is settled, he just stared at you. he can’t help but smile at your loving features. you are still beautiful as ever, he thought.

but you can see he was also exhausted. his eyes were kind of droopy, longing for some good night sleep. but he decided to stay up to accompany you while you twist and turn, and find the right sleeping position until you fall asleep.

“not going to bed, haech?”

“i’ll let you sleep first, baby.”

then a faint smile slowly crept on your face.

you thought it was cute. he is still the haechan you knew when he mustered up the courage to say he likes you on that one night in that one september night. you thought it was funny, even. he cannot look you in the eyes when he confessed, shy and all. it was unusual for someone who is loved by plenty to still giggle and blush like a little kid. haechan remains humble, head on the clouds but feet on the ground. and that is why despite the doubts and risks of accepting his love, you took the leap of faith, and haechan never failed to make you feel special every single day.

but with the tremendous amount of work lined up in his unpredictable schedule, you cannot help but feel… sorry.

you would be lying if you say you purposely did not answer some of his calls because he was persistent to see you when he gets the chance to do so.

january 16, 1:07am | haech wrote:

january 16, 1:07am | haech wrote:

where were you?

you weren’t picking up :(

you can almost hear haechan sulking as you read his text.

january 16, 2:15am | you wrote:

just out, haechan.

january 16, 2:16am | haech wrote:

tell me about your day? :)

there were at least six missed calls that you refused to answer before this. as you watched your phone vibrating, you just wished he would… stop. it was also two in the morning from where he is, currently touring and all, while you just came back from work and slept. timezones, the distance; you can’t help but to wonder why he still stays.

january 16, 2:20am | you wrote:

tired, baby.

january 16, 2:20am | haech wrote:

just five minutes, please?

but you just left him on read. the way he waited for you to response as he replied instantly for your texts is already bothering you. you also clearly did not know back then why you would do such a thing to haechan until weeks passed by…

it never occurred to you what exactly it was until you have seen him yawning and falling asleep as the both of you catch up on what has been going on with your lives. you clearly knew it was guilty to have him around while he was struggling to maintain his life and work. the guilt rushed in when he started texting almost apologetic messages saying “i’m sorry, i fell asleep.”, “have a great day, baby! i know you could do it!”, and the recent and out-of-the-blue text message he sent that sent you the urge to hit the block button for his own good:

january 28, 5:55am | haech wrote:

baby. i hope you never get tired of me… of this. i know it has been a rough couple of weeks of us being in different parts of the world. you don’t know how much i want to hold you, kiss you, and hug you at every chance i get. please wait for me to come home. please never be tired. i’m willing to work this out. i’ll make time for you, baby.

don't leave me, please?

and by that time, you knew haechan has been also feeling you were about to back down. it is just that the assumed reasons were different. haechan feels he was losing you because of the lack of time and distance he spends with you, and you, on the other hand, are willing to sacrifice this love that you wanted to keep for a long so he could continue living freely.

so you decided to talk to haechan tonight.

he deserved to at least receive a proper goodbye.

“what time is it there, haech?”

“it’s…” haechan looked at his watch, eyebrows scrunched and all, “two-thirty a.m.”

“aren’t you tired?”

“not when i see you, baby.”

you felt like your heart is about to burst from being squeezed so tightly. you removed your phone from your face and let the camera face in front of the ceiling. you were suppressing your whimpers. it hurts to hear those words; those words that were carefully curated for you to be heard so you would be convinced he is enduring it all when he is not. and giving up the fight is only the answer you have.

“baby…?” haechan asks for you. “still there?”

“yeah, yeah.” you wiped your tears away and faked a forced smile for him to see. you picked up your phone and made sure he could not see any hints of you hurting. “just… picked up something.”

“oh, okay.”

you can hear haechan singing baekhyun’s love again, and you just smiled through the entire mini-show, exclusively for you. he loved singing and sharing his favorite songs with you. you were never a fan of ballads until he came into your life, and suddenly everything felt at ease. but you had to ask before you.

“does it get tiring sometimes, haech?”

“what do you mean?”

“this.”

he looked straight at the camera and stopped the music playing in the background. haechan kind of stood still for seconds, bracing himself on where this conversation is going. but he responded upfront and with no hesitations.

“never.”

“why?” you asked.

“because it’s you.”

“why do you still stay?”

“because it’s you.”

“why do you keep saying it’s me?”

“because i love you.”

haechan can feel the series of questions from you being said so nonchalantly and so monotonously. he already knows your walls are building themselves up as he continuously answers. it was frustrating to see that you were no longer convinced, that the i love yous no longer work.

“stop saying that, haechan.”

“it’s haech.”

“what do i even do for you?”

“you—you make me happy, baby.”

“just go to sleep, haechan.”

“i won’t.”

“why?”

“because i know i won’t be seeing you in the morning after this.”

and you know he was right. you were already consumed by the thought of leaving and convinced he makes himself strong in front of you despite the circumstances.

but haechan is not ready to give it all up, not just yet.

“listen to me, baby. please?”

you turned off your camera, and you can see haechan slightly panicking. but he had to keep his composure still.

“every day, i choose you. my heart chooses you. i come back to you because my heart says so—that you keep me sane. you keep me feeling things; that you keep me afloat; that you keep me human.” haechan insists.

“you are that tiny light that i see whenever i come back to my apartment; and when i see it, it feels like someone’s waiting for me to come home, baby.

you are that someone, baby. you love me because i can fall crumbling and all because you are my home. and you accept my flaws.

it doesn’t matter if i’m tired and all, because you’re… you’re my rest.”

you let out sobs and your cries were no longer able to be contained. haechan waits for you on the other line to open your camera, or at least say something back. he anxiously taps his foot on the floor.

you picked up your phone and there he was, staring intently at a blank screen, biting his lower lip and teary-eyed.

“loving someone is a choice.

and every day, i choose you.”

and before you end the call, you heard him saying:

"i love you so much.

come back to me, baby, please?”

would you?

“I’m trying to confess my undying love for you, and that’s the response I get?”

yoongi x reader genre: fluff word count: 

note: this piece was written by mads, @aurorassadprosee​​​. She initially wrote this one for my birthday in 2019 :( isn’t that sweet? It’s influenced by “New Year’s Day” by Taylor Swift, and if you know the song, you’ll probably see the references. Anyways, this is a really cute fic and I hope you all enjoy! xo

WITH a head swimming with alcohol and body buzzing with warmth, you place one bare foot sloppily in front of the other, fits of giggles escaping your mouth.

Supported by the dark haired man next to you, you both stumble out of the crowded bar, arm-in-arm, into the cool air.

The street lights shine, splitting into four as your vision tries to focus, the sound of horns blaring and tires hitting puddles fill your ears.

The rush of 1am.

Carrying a pair of heels in two fingers, goosebumps start to appear on your bare arms, a slight shiver coming to your breath as you lean your head against Yoongi’s neck.

Swaying down the dirty pavement of New York, streams of people brush past, breath white against the air.

You see a blur of individuals walking briskly, couples, like yourselves, huddled together, and groups of rowdy men drunkenly stumbling to their next drink.

Cheek hot against his skin, the smell his cologne fills your senses, the dry martinis, whiskey sours and double scotches are starting to set in.

Keep reading

Fairy tale woodland in west Dorset (@thewildwoodmoth IG)

the urge to just fully depend on a so. to be helpless, clumsy, weak and needy yet completely adored for it.

to want and be wanted

georges bataille / emily palermo / olivia laing / @chaandajaan / georges bataille / cj hauser / @kvetchkween / @nicholasbraungf / vi khi nao / silas denver melvin

Say it again.

pairing: boyfriend!hyuck x reader

genre: fluff, established relationship!AU, slight roadtrip!AU

warnings: is mentions of being pushed into the sea a warning also this is super cheesy idk

word count: 1k words

a/n: monch cronch im in love with black hair hyuck

networks/taglist: @neoturtles @knet-bakery @kflixnet @nct-writers @k-radio + @soobin-chois @markhyuckselca @jaehunnyy <3

Donghyuck is no gentleman, is what you've learned from dating him for 2 years. At least, not to other people. 

Mark Lee says he has too much of a soft spot for you, his teasing remarks are never as harsh as it is to his other friends, and he's much more loving. 

'Then go date him,' is all you had to say to Mark, with Donghyuck giggling at the thought of dating Mark a moment later. However, you think he is right. 

You've been dating for 2 years already, and not once have you told him you love him. Of course, you do love him. With your whole heart, but it's a little hard for you to express it through words. Donghyuck had first told you by the first 6 months of your relationship, and clarified that it was okay if you didn't say it back. 

It's been a year since then, and you wonder how he's been able to keep himself back from asking you every time you kiss his cheek or nod instead of saying it back. 

As you said, Lee Donghyuck is no gentleman to others, but to you, he is the gentlest. 

Hence why he spent over 2 weeks planning this trip, the current one you're on, a little trip to the beach, after seeing how incredibly stressed you've been due to midterms. 

And now here you sit, in his trunk, watching as he picks up shells from the bay. You went on over and decided to chill in the warm heater of the car after being pushed into the water by none other than your lover. You were going to scold him, if it weren't for his giggles and cheek kisses. They make you incredibly soft. 

This whole trip has you in a daze, unable to fully grasp the fact that Donghyuck really took his time to arrange all this. Your heart swirls and your insides feel too fuzzy for you to dislike it. 

The sensations grow stronger when Donghyuck comes running back to the car with a grin, his palms all full with pretty shells. 

"Hi baby, you doing okay here?" 

You can't help but grin back, nodding. "It's warm, I like it."

He plants his lips on yours momentarily, and mumbles, "Good to know," 

Donghyuck then drops all the shells in his hands, dusting all the sand off his fingertips. "Planning on giving the guys some shells, Chenle would go crazy for these things." 

A smile curls at your lips, knowing that Chenle would indeed go crazy for shells. You don't know why though. 

"Of course, you get most of them. All the pretty ones," 

If it were even possible, your smile stretches wider, reaching your ears, and you tighten the towel around you as if it would ground you from the amount of love you feel towards Donghyuck. 

And then it hits you. The urge to say the 3 words. It's so easy, it's perfect, you feel it completely towards Donghyuck, even if he's just tossing shells into a container. 

"I love you," It slips out without you knowing, oh so naturally, and you feel complete satisfaction when you say it. Why have you never done it before? 

Donghyuck doesn't seem to notice at first, as it came out as a quiet mumble. He does realize you've said something a moment later, turning to you. "Hmm, what was that baby? I didn't catch that,"

Your heart thumps, but it's not out of nervousness, it's excitement, it's pure happiness, it's love. Your lips part, and the words slip out once again, so naturally, and it feels 10 times better than before. "I love you,"

Donghyuck stops completely in his tracks, eyes widening and lips gaped. "W-what?"

"I love you."

Donghyuck scrambles next to you, his hands trembling as he takes yours in them. His touch is soft, softer than usual, intertwining them in a lock. "You love me?"

"I love you, goddamn it!" 

A smile finally lifts his lips up, his grin brighter than ever. His eyes glisten, and you're not sure if it's because of his happiness, or the glistening of the bright sun in his eyes, or tears. You want to believe he’s just feeling happy, you wouldn’t want him to cry.

It’s a little bit too late for you to be wishing that, as he sniffles with a laugh, dragging you into his embrace as he attacks your cheeks, your nose, chin, eyelids, every inch of your skin with kisses and much love. 

His hands leave yours as you try to push him away with laughs, instead clasping at your cheeks, as he leaves a long kiss on your forehead. He pulls away, alas, but you’re sure he’s not finished. Donghyuck has tears glistening on his cheeks, but they’re far from sorrow, they’re signs of love, adoration and utmost care. 

He sighs, almost dreamily, as you softly wipe his tears away. 

“Say it again,” He murmurs into your palm. 

“I love you,” You repeat. 

“Again?”

“I love you,”

“Again.”

“Lee Donghyuck, I love you! How many times must I say it before you believe me?”

This loving smile quirks up into a playful smirk, as he taps a finger to his chin to feign contemplation. “A thousand.” 

Donghyuck grows confused when you pull away from his hug, watching as you hop back into your seat in his car trunk. A knowing grin creeps on his lips when you get comfortable, and pull out your fingers. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love Lee Donghyuck, I love Donghyuck Lee, I love Peter Lee, I love my loving boyfriend whom I love–”

“Alright! I get it, you love me!” His playful and teasing tone is back, and his gaze has a hint of mischief as well, as he climbs next to you.

Instantly, he brings you into his embrace, planting a kiss on your lips, laughing at the light taste of sea salt and sand. There’s a silence between you too, ever so peaceful, as you listen to only Donghyuck’s heartbeat, and the swaying of the sea. 

Your lover breaks the silence not long after that, looking down at you, causing you to automatically look up at him.

“Say it one more time?”

“I love you, Lee Donghyuck,”

FInally, a sense of peace and assurance waves over him after minutes of disbelief. You can sense this, you can almost physically see it as he shuts his eyes as if to savor the moment. 

His fingers dance with yours in a lock, “I love you more.”

dangggg man, tumblr is deffo better than wattpad at making me feel like stabbing myself with a fork

— [7:22 pm] it’s the way mark holds you after a long and stressful day. the way his arms completely engulf you as if he’s trying to shield you from the rest of the world, protecting the one he cherishes the most. he leaves a kiss on your forehead as his heartbeat lulls you to sleep and you can’t help but fall more and more in love with him.

it’s the way mark picks up little things for you when he’s out shopping with the notion that “this reminded me of you” or “I just feel like you’d like this” and you do. you love everything mark gifts you, but nothing can beat the greatest gift you’ve ever received: him.

it’s the way his eyes always find yours in a crowd. the packed parties you frequent courtesy of your mutual friend johnny always ends up in the two of you separated. but with one look, mark is able to spot you, silently asking if you were okay. your eyes tell all. if you were fine, he’d let you mingle with the new friends you meet. if you weren’t, he’d quickly swoop in by your side and save you and link your pinky with his. once again, proving that he was your ultimate safe haven. an angel sent to you personally from the skies above.

it’s the way mark lee tells you he loves you without outright saying it. it’s the way that you can feel it every time you’re in his presence. the love radiates off his body as if he can’t hold it in, wanting the whole world to know. dropping down on one knee, he says nothing as he opens the box. he doesn’t have to with the way his gaze speaks nothing but forever. with you.

from mani’s writing game!   taglist: @deputyjuyeon​​​ @wonjaems​​​ @changminurheart​​​ @exfolitae​​​ @lilacdreams-00​​​ @nycol-ie​​​ @sohnkiss​​ @cookydream​​​ @ahtisa02​