Give Me A Kiss — Mark

☆ camellia ☆

♩: camellia - slchld

pairings: haechan x gn!reader. genres: springtime fluff. warnings: casual profanity. synopsis: you're the prettiest flower earth has ever witnessed.

haechan calls you many things. baby. bestie. angel. stink bug. my love. stupid ass. bro. haechan also likes to get you flowers when you least expect flowers because—he tells you—when he’s with you, it’s like spring never left.

when haechan gets you flowers, it’s never a small bundle of five roses picked up from the supermarket or a standard arrangement from an outdated catalogue of an online store. it’s peonies; soft pink buds opening to cream. black pearl lisianthus for date nights and fragrant tuberoses on days when the night feels a little colder than usual. haechan never forgets to let you know that you are loved, treasured. so he sends you peach tulips—sixty-nine of them (you counted and have confronted him about the specific number). sometimes, he leaves a bundle of spring-kissed ranunculuses in your locker and an undercooked cupcake—homemade, you presume. sometimes, he gifts you a single white daisy which he stealthily nicks from his vengeful neighbour’s backyard. he’s done it thrice and has never been caught. 

on one morning in early june, you woke up to blushing spring at your doorsteps; a huge bed of hot pink camellias on a low, round glass vase. that week, your entire living room smelled like spring. 

haechan will probably never tell you this, not because he’s got a lion’s pride, he’s just—get this—shy. when he sat across you in a booth of a rundown diner on the side of a forest highway during a late night drive home from his lacrosse game, and when he watched as you took a large bite of the cheeseburger, smiling, mouth full, at how good the sauce was, haechan knew he wanted you. to be with you. to watch you eat cheeseburgers for the rest of his life.

he wished diners didn’t have to close.

that night, haechan thought about writing you a poem. something short with a bit of edge like dickinson. or perhaps a haiku. but he barely passed literature and rhymes were the least of concerns right now. then he thought of flowers. his form of poetic expression. a sixth love language you never knew existed.

haechan calls you many things. but you love it most when he calls you his camellia. for as long as spring still sings and the sun still shines, you’ll always be his most precious camellia.

© luvm4rk 2022. all rights reserved.

touch (mark lee)

lowercase intended

“stop touching me,” mark tells haechan, removing the said man’s arm from his shoulders. “y/n, how do you deal with your boyfriend being like this?” haechan asks. you giggle at the scene in front you. mark isn’t really fond of physical touches even with you, his girlfriend. you have been dating for 5 months now, and you were used to it. he wouldn’t even let you hold his hands for more than a minute. it made you sad at first, but he explained that he just doesn’t like being touched often, and you understood him. it doesn’t mean he loves you less.

a month after

you and mark were both sitting on his couch, watching a movie you weren’t paying attention to anymore. you were busy looking at mark, and how cuddly he looks. you know how it will end if you try to cuddle— him subtly pushing you off him after a few minutes— but you would take those few minutes in his arms any day, so you slowly position yourself, and cuddle him. he wraps his hands around you, and gives you kisses on your forehead. you smile at him, and seize the moment. after a minute, you slowly get off him knowing he would do it himself. “where are you going?” he asks. “hmm? just here beside you,” you smile at him. “come here, let’s cuddle,” he pouts. “getting used to my touches now?” you joke, “the only touch i want on me forever.”

My mental state is: If you give me a long hug I might start crying.

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”

― Jamie Anderson

the bouquet. || njm

in which you love watching your coffee shop regulars and irregulars go about their day. you loved hearing stories about their lives and their loved ones. yet, you'd be lying if you said it didn't make you feel lonely. alternatively, you were in love with the concept of love, na jaemin was in love with you.

word count: 2.8k

genre, warnings: fluff, angst near the end, comfort i think, slice of life, coffee shop!au, flower shop!au, pining, worries about never being able to experience romance covered up with bright smiles and warm coffee, profanities

bgm: people watching by conan gray, cloud 9 by beach bunny, perfect day by mao buyi, sweet dream by nct u

a/n: this only happened because i wanted to write fluff HAHA so by default it isn't proof read also i am not a florist so idk if these flowers look good in a bouquet LMAO

PHILIA (n) - affectionate love - yellow chrysanthemums

A warm beam of sunlight streams in through the glass window, toasting the wooden the tables and chairs in its wake. You stretch behind the counter - warm sunny afternoons always gave you the urge to nap.

Opposite you, on the other side of the store, stood your coworker amongst the displays of flowers. Na Jaemin was attractive, and more often than not, you'd hear people compare him to the flowers he worked with in attempt to woo him. They never worked though, Jaemin would always respond with a polite smile and a "thank you". You'd try your best to hold in your giggle as they leave the store with a sour expression. But then you'd meet eyes with Jaemin, he'd mouth a playful "oops", and you'd have to duck down to hide your laugh behind the counter.

It was a slow day. You barely had anyone to serve so you spent your time arranging and rearranging shelves in the back, cleaning equipment, and munching on the seasonal lavender flavored cake your store offered. Jaemin, on the other hand, seemed to be catching up on bouquet orders. Each bouquet was prepared with the same amount of care and focus as the next. Each flower was chosen with a purpose to serve. Jaemin wasn't only known as a pretty face. He was also known for his beautiful bouquets.

Seemingly haven to caught you staring, without looking up from his work, your coworker jokingly says,

"Go back to work."

"But there is no work. No one wants a coffee from me."

"I do. See, you have work."

You turn around to start his coffee - iced americano, three shots of espresso. He usually whines for more espresso but in attempt to keep his body functioning, you only allow a maximum of three shots.

The overhead bell tinkles and a woman walks in. You give them a smile over your shoulder to welcome them in. She returns the smile, but walks up to Jaemin's counter instead.

"Hi! I had an order for pick up today?"

"Oh yes, chrysanthemums right?"

The woman nods as Jaemin goes to fetch her prepared bouquet. You finish the coffee and bring it over to your coworker's counter, making conversation with the customer as you do so.

"Are the flowers for anyone?"

"They are! One of my friends is graduating today and I wanted to congratulate her as well as thank her for being such a lovely friend."

You can't help but grin at the story. The way the woman brightened up mentioning her friend. The way she spoke so highly of them. They must be someone extremely precious to her.

"A great choice of flowers." Jaemin comments, returning with a bright yellow bouquet.

"Thank you. I spent hours looking up the meanings of flowers. My friend's really into the language of flowers."

The both of you thank her for her patronage and watch as she heads off, the brightly colored flowers tucked safely in her arms.

"Happiness, joy, celebration."

"Hm?"

Jaemin takes a sip of his coffee before answering.

"You wanted to know the meaning right? I could tell."

Sometimes Jaemin's ability to read your mind scares you. How does he just know?

"Also, this coffee doesn't have the amount of espresso I requested."

"I'm saving your life." You retort, heading back to your post.

You spare a glance at the door the woman walked out of. How special it must be to have someone care for you that much. A friend who would scour the internet for the perfect flower for you. A friend who had the most precious expression talking about you.

You loved knowing the stories behind your customers. Yet, for some reason, they always made you feel more alone.

PRAGMA (n) - enduring love - baby's breath

Entering the shop today, you were greeted with the sight of Jaemin surrounded by a copious amount of baby's breath flowers. It was certainly a sight to behold.

"A regular of ours is getting married soon - they've asked me to prepare the flowers for their wedding." He had said, bunching the small flowers together with a white ribbon. You hum, leaning on his counter as he continued to work. Jaemin's breath hitches at the proximity between the two of you - yet it goes unnoticed as you rack your brain to remember the regular.

"I remember! Is it the tall man who always shows up in a suit?"

"The one that always manages to squeeze his partner in every sentence? Yeah."

Jaemin's gaze falls upon you as you rest your head on your palms, a huge smile adorning your face.

"Adorable."

"The couple? Yeah. I can't believe they're getting married!"

His comment wasn't about the couple.

Jaemin returns his focus back on the flowers, aiming for the bunches to be as consistent as possible.

"They've been together for quite long, haven't they?" You mention, watching his slim fingers weave the perfect bow around the fragile flowers.

"Mhm, ten years I think. He said they were high school sweethearts."

A yearnful sigh escapes your lips.

"How cute. I wish I had something like that."

Jaemin gently pokes your forehead, a soft smile on his own lips.

"You're idolizing the idea of love again."

"I can't help it! Isn't the idea of falling for one another just so romantic? The butterflies, the flushed faces, the shy touches!" You squeal at the thought. Romance was your favorite genre, even if you've never experienced it personally, it was always a gem to witness.

"Instead of standing there and squealing like a high schooler - you should come around and help me with these flowers."

"But I'm not the florist - you don't see me asking you to make coffee."

"I am terrified that you will start kicking your legs like a high schooler with a crush next alright? And it's not hard, I'll teach you."

So you make your less than graceful jump across the counter, asking Jaemin to catch you (he didn't) and the two of you spent the day side by side bunching up baby's breaths.

"What do baby's breaths mean?"

Jaemin's shoulder meets yours and his fingers brush against your own as he fixes your ribbon. The sun was warm, or was that your skin flushing?

"Everlasting love."

STORGE (n) - familiar love - white lilac

"What do you recommend for my daughter who's just given birth?"

Your ears perk up from the storage room and you immediately drop the bag of coffee beans you were holding to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"Congratulations! I'm sure you must be ecstatic!"

"I am! A healthy young granddaughter! I love her already. The entire family is celebrating."

A wave of joy crashes on you. You weren't just a sucker for romantic love, but all types of love. Humans were surrounded by love all the time, consciously or unconsciously, it was always present. And to you, there wasn't anything that made you happier than seeing others feel the joy of loving and being loved.

You sneak a peak out into the open area, just in time to see the lady leave the store, white lilacs in her bag and a skip in her step.

"Eavesdropping is rude you know?"

"Boo, I'm just trying to get in on some good news."

Jaemin laughs as you jokingly pout at him, his structure stands out against the light streaming in from the big windows. You've always thought his smile was dazzling. It really was no mystery as to why he was so popular.

"Hey, could you help with the coffee beans? You've got nothing to do now anyway."

"Ask cutely."

"I'm reporting you to the boss. That has got to be a breach of some HR protocol."

"I'm just joking." The boy says making his way towards you. Unexpectedly, he stops to tuck a small piece of white lilac behind your ear, face only inches away from yours.

"Purity, innocence. I think it suits you."

He then continues his journey to the storage room casually, as if the two of you weren't just a hair's distance away from each other.

"Na Jaemin what the fuck?"

EROS (n) - romantic love - red roses

A knowing glance was shared between you and your coworker as a couple walks in, arms linked with each other.

"I love you honeybunches."

"I love you more sweetie pie."

The couple shares a kiss, the audible smooching loud enough to be echoing through the store. You had to pretend to clear your throat to grab their attention.

"How may I help you two?"

After placing their order, the couple giggles and slinks to a table in the corner. You notice that they sit next to each other instead of opposite.

"Is that the type of love you want?" Jaemin whispers as you froth the milk for a sweet potato latte.

"Oh come on, they're not that bad. I bet they're just in the honeymoon phase is all."

"Mhm, and they're definitely not making out in the corner right now."

With a roll of your eyes, you wipe down the metal wand. Without the noise of the machine, the wet sounds of mouth on mouth action could clearly be heard.

"They're cute!"

"Why? Do you want to make out in public as well? Come here, I can make that happen."

You were sure Jaemin was joking. The tone of his voice told you so. But when you looked into his eyes, they looked hopeful. Perhaps you were deluding yourself. All these thoughts about love were really altering the way you saw things.

"No. Go serve them their coffee."

"What? I thought you never made me do barista things?"

"It's only fair after you got me to do florist things."

Jaemin smiles at the playful quarrel, though you notice there was a hint of disappointment there. Why?

"This cake is new."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, it's the new red rose cake. The owner said they used rosewater when baking it."

"Passion, desire, romance. No wonder the couple picked it. Wish me luck."

You give your coworker a salute as he heads over with the drinks and dessert before busying yourself with cleaning. You don't notice the couple giving Jaemin advice and support regarding his stupidly obvious crush on you because stupidly, you believed that romantic love would never come to you.

LUDUS (n) - playful love - white roses

It was a cloudless day, the skies were a lovely shade of blue, and the birds were chirping a happy tune. It was the perfect day for a first date. Which is why you found yourself craning your neck to look at the couple sitting outside.

They were evidently on their first date. The nervous fiddling, the shy giggles, the playful laughter. You weren't even part of their date, but just watching them interact made your insides bubble with excitement.

"Jaemin! Jaemin look! They're comparing hand sizes!"

"I know, I can see what you see."

You were pretending to wipe down a table on the other side of the glass, trying your best to seem uninterested in their conversation. But the reality was, you were dying to hear everything they had to say.

The florist, on the other hand, was watering his flowers. Less interested than you were, but was still listening. Most of his attention wasn't on the couple outside, it was on you.

You were fretting over every small detail, eyes wide and sparkling whenever someone made a move. You were clasping you hands together when they exchanged coy looks, excitedly muttering Jaemin's name in order to have him look.

You were in your element, and you were glowing.

When did he fall for you? Jaemin doesn't even know. You were always so into the small details, remembering the tiniest change in people. So adorable when you unknowingly purse your lips when attempting latte art. Perhaps you had him wrapped around your finger since the day you stepped in the store, asking if they were hiring. Or perhaps he fell slowly, day after day of working together and being in your presence.

Jaemin doesn't know when, but he knows that his attempts at flirting had gone unnoticed. But Jaemin doesn't know how to give up. So he's made the decision to keep trying, again and again. He'll keep trying until the day you stop loving the concept of love, and start loving him.

"Here, a white rose each for the two of you - free of charge."

The couple seemed pleased. Your jaw hanging wide open when Jaemin returned.

"Flies are going to get in your mouth."

"Jaemin... That was so smooth. That made their date even more memorable."

He hopes that one day, your rose colored glasses would be directed at him.

PHILAUTIA (n) - self love - narcissus

The clouds were crying today, dying the sky a deep shade of gray. You sigh. It was as if the weather was mirroring your thoughts. You hated it.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Jaemin's warm hands gently hold your face, slowly turning you to face him. Hesitantly, you meet his eyes. They were worried, he was worried. You know. You could tell.

"Okay fine. I'll tell you. But no laughing alright?"

He nods.

"Its just... One of my friends got into a relationship and I'm jealous."

Silence.

"Wait, no, not because I was in love with my friend. But because I've never been in a relationship. As in, I want to know how it feels like?"

Jaemin lets out a silent sigh of relief.

"But I feel like I could never be loved like that. I've never had someone look at me as if I was the only person that ever mattered. And as much as I love the idea of that, I don't know if I'm worthy of it the way I am now."

Your voice slowly turns into a whisper, your insecurities escape and spread out in the small store. The atmosphere was heavy, around the same weight as your heart. Tears threatened to escape your eyes, the embarrassment of crying in front of your handsome coworker was the only thing holding them back.

Suddenly, Jaemin's hands, a little rough from tending to flowers, push against your cheeks.

"Y/N. You are worth loving. You are worthy of everything the world has to offer. Fuck, you're worth more than the world has to offer."

"Huh?" Was all you could make out as Jaemin's palms still had a firm grip on your cheeks.

"Listen, you are the brightest person I've ever laid my eyes upon. If you claimed you were the sun, nobody would argue differently. I don't even know how my world was before you. Stop thinking so negatively, alright?"

Ah shit. The tears were free falling now.

"Thank you, Jaemin."

The sun peeked through the clouds. A rainbow formed in the sky. A single daffodil sat in a vase on the windowsill.

AGAPE (n) - selfless love - red carnation

Jaemin stands alone behind his counter, head in his hands. He had basically confessed to you the other day. He basically said you were his sun damn it. But you still hadn't caught on.

It was your day off today. Jaemin received a lovely selfie of you earlier of you and a friend at an amusement park. A telling smile that formed on his face told everyone in the room all they needed to know.

"Just tell her straight up." Taeyong, the owner, suggests. "At this point I don't think they'd understand if you don't."

"I don't want them to be pressured into a relationship if they're not ready or not into me though." Jaemin replies, groaning. "What if we become awkward? I don't want that. Please, anything but that. All I want is for them to realize that I've been nursing a massive crush on them"

"Make them a bouquet," Johnny, one of the cafe's investors, mentions. "You're good at those right?"

"I've tried. But they don't turn out the way I want them to."

"Try harder."

The older men snicker as the younger shoots them a glare. Jaemin lies his head down on the cool surface of the counter, his eyes catch onto the brilliant red carnations blooming on the side.

"Red carnation. "My heart aches for you"."

The next day you clock in, you find red carnations decorating your work station. They were on the espresso machine, sitting on the cookie jar, and even inside mugs.

"Jaemin? What happened while I was gone?"

The boy smiles brightly from his station opposite yours. A view you've gotten used to.

"Welcome back?"

"I was gone for one day."

"Hey, I missed you for a whole day."

A tingle makes its way up your ears. You admit, you've been thinking a lot about Jaemin's words since the day you cried in front of him. How tender and passionate those words were, how they sounded almost like a confession.

A cake box catches your attention. Wrapped in a white ribbon with your name on it.

Undoing the bow and opening the cardboard reveals flowers. Delicately placed and arranged. You carefully look over the flowers. Yellow chrysanthemums, baby's breath, white lilac, red roses, white roses, daffodils, red carnation.

"Jaemin... is this from you?"

He grins.

"You know the meaning right?"

a day with the Lee's - Mark Lee au

Hi! it's been a while 😅😊 i'm just having a hard time writing these days hence the lack of content, sorry :( you can send any request/recommendations for a scenario, I'll see what I can do😊 thank u for the love you've shown this blog even when I'm inactive, i do miss writing too.

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2022 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(pic not mine. credit to original owner)

It's a busy morning in the Lee household, not because you had work but because it's the first time your daughter would go to daycare. Even though you and Mark have already done this before with your oldest, Minjung, you can tell he's more wary and a bit on edge sending his youngest and only daughter to school

"Did you get Min-jee's backpack?" you ask Mark, seeing him come down the stairs.

"Huh oh yea wait a second" Mark jogs back the same way he came from, chuckling at your husband before turning your head back to little Minjee, helping her put her shoes on.

This is like a normal morning for you, Minjung leaves earlier for school then Minjee wakes up and you get her ready for the day. Now she's finally old enough to go to daycare, you were excited to watch your little girl meet kids her age and socialize but Mark on the other hand thought it's too early.

"Are we sure she's ready for this? We can still wait a year more" he says, walking down the stairs and taking the seat beside his daughter. Immediately she reaches out to hold her dad, you thought Minjung was a dada's boy oh you were wrong. Minjee is way more attached to Mark then her brother. Even as a baby, she only ever wants to be held by her dad and Mark loved every second of it.

Maybe it's the reason why he's more affected about sending Minjee to daycare.

"She'll be fine, she needs more friends her age. Plus I can tells she's getting bored being home all the time. Right, love?" you say lightly pinching her cheeks

"Mama, woo" she says referring to the snoopy plushie her uncle Jungwoo gave her when she was a baby, the name woo kinda stuck so now she calls it woo. Minjee takes that stuff toy with her everywhere she goes.

"It's here, Jee. Come on, we need to go" Mark says before scooping her up in his arms, you take the backpack and followed the two out the door.

Mark puts Minjee in her carseat while you settle in the passenger seat. Then the three of you were off.

The whole ride to the daycare you can tell Mark was growing more and more anxious, repeatedly tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, his legs shaking.

"Mark baby, she'll be fine" you smile at your husband.

"Yea I know, I just... How are you not as emotional right now?" he asks you

"I think I got most of it out with Minjung. I can still remember bawling my eyes out in the parking lot when we left him on his first day" you answer, reaching over to rest your hand on his knee.

"She'll do great, we know the teacher's here they'll take good care of her"

"I know I know"

Letting out a chuckle, you let him be.

When you finally got to the daycare, Mark parks the car but made no move to step out.

"Babe?"

"I can't do this" he mumbles under his breath

"Huh? What did you say?"

"Baby, I don't think I can leave her here. Let's just wait one more year" he said turning to you, this time you see his eyes almost close to tears. Again this made you giggle, taking his face between your hands before giving him a sweet short kiss.

"She'll be fine, who knows maybe she'll love it. Right, Jee?" you say outloud to which you hear your daugther reply with a tiny "Yea!" making you and Mark smile.

The three of you walk hand in hand towards the entrace, you see other parents drop their kids off. Some kids were crying some were okay and walked inside with no problem. Minjee was looking around, the environment definitely new to her. When you got closer at the door, Mark stops walking. Crouching infront his daughter, you can see he's really trying to fight back the tears.

"Hey, me and mama will be right here when you finish later okay?" he asks the girl, "Remember what we talked about last night? You'll play with your classmates and teachers and you'll learn your ABC'S and colors"

"Color with dada?" she asks

"Uh well, dada has to go. But I'll be here when you finish"

"Dada not go with Jeejee?" she asks, a pout already forming on her tiny lips.

Uh oh.

You knew that look. That's the look that would make Mark run to the ends of the Earth just to get what his daughter wants.

"Well uh I uhm Dada can't come with Jeejee"

"Why no dada?" she asks

This time you decided to intervene before the two of them cries right here right now, "Dada and mama will be here okay? You'll go inside and do lot's of fun activities then when you're done we'll be here and Minjung too"

"Oppa?" Minjee smiles upon hearing her brother's name

"Mhm, we'll pick you up later then we'll get ice cream how does that sound?" you tell her, immediately the frown turns into a smile. Then a teacher approaches you, "Hi! Is she joining us for today?"

"Yes, this is Minjee" you say, standing up to greet the teacher

"Oh Mrs. Lee, nice to see you again! Mr. Lee" she greets the two of you, she was Minjung teacher before

"Then this must be Minjung's little sister, she looks just like him. Hello, Minjee I'm your teacher" she says crouching down to greet your daughter

"I know right, Mark's carboncopies" you laugh

"We better get inside, class will start soon. Like always, you can come around 11am to pick her up"

"Yes, we've been briefed during the orientation. Okay Minjee, you need to go inside now. Can mama have a hug?" you ask, crouching down again to hug her before she goes.

"Can't forget dada, come here princess. Dada will come later okay? then we'll cuddle after school" Mark says as he hugs her tightly like he doesn't want to let her go.

"Otay, babye dada babye mama" she tells the to of you. Waving her tiny hand before walking with her teacher. You and Mark watch until she gets inside.

You reach out and intertwine your hand with Mark's, feeling your husband squeeze your hand before walking back to where you parked.

When you get inside the car, you wait for him to say something.

"Love? You alright?"

"I think I'm gonna cry" you hear him mumble, how can this man have two kids and yet still be this adorable.

"Aw love, come here" you say opening your arms for him, Mark gladly hugging you. Holding you tightly against him.

"Our babies are growing up too fast" he says

You pat his back a few times, kissing his cheek before pulling away to look at him.

"I know, she's our second but it doesn't really get easier" you sigh

"How are you not as emotional?" Mark asks you

"Me? Oh I am emotional, you're just being too cute right now. Plus, Minjee might love going to school like Minjung" you tell him, kissing him on the lips before buckling in.

"Now, we have a few hours to ourselves Mr. Lee. What do you say we have some us time?" you smile at him, Mark blinks back at you then he's pulling out the driveway with the sound of your laughter resonating in the car.

highest walls, strongest armour

pairing: vernon x gn!reader

summary: they say opposites attract but what about similars?

contains: hurt/comfort, angst w a happy ending, mentions of insomnia, reader n vernon learn how to communicate w each other challenge

a/n: “pardon my emotions, i should probably keep it all to myself, know you’d make fun of me.” a remix to this fic

—

you just came home from probably the worst day in a while. everything that could’ve gone wrong, went wrong and you just wanted to bury yourself deep in the covers of your bed. turn off your phone and isolate yourself from the world until you had the strength to pick yourself back up. but you also felt this contrasting but equally overwhelming urge to run to vernon, your boyfriend, for comfort.

you weren’t the best at expressing yourself, let alone let yourself being vulnerable, the strong armour you had built for your fragile heart standing in the way. vernon wasn’t the most sentimental either and maybe that was what made you so attracted to each other.

all you knew for sure, is that it was making this whole relationship painfully complicated.

but that was the thing, right? this was a relationship, not a competition. it wasn’t about who would crack first and run to the other for consolation but more about trusting the other to catch you when you needed it and you definitely needed it.

and so with a thumping heart, you hopped in your car to go to his dorms.

he opens the door for you with a soft smile on his face and you can already feel your heart melting.

“hi,” he greets you before leaning in to place a chaste kiss on your lips.

after leading you to his room, he sits you down on his bed, assuming that you wanted to tell him something.

“so what’s up?”

“i um…” you start as your eyes drift to the floor, somehow feeling embarrassed for wanting his comfort. “i had a bad day at work,” you finally say, barely louder than a whisper, fearing his reaction for whatever reason.

“oh, what happened?”

“nothing was really working out the way i wanted it to today and it’s really making me feel like shit and i thought about just sleeping it off but realised that seeing you would probably make me feel better. just thought that you could maybe… hold me?”

you felt heat rush to your face at those words. was he going to think you were childish, maybe even pathetic for coming to him about a bad day?

your eyes shyly search for his to try and see if that was the case, only to find surprise written all over his face.

he chuckles nervously.

“like a hug? from me?”

damn. you hadn’t felt this stupid in a while. you wish you could’ve just come up with some bullshit response to brush this embarrassing moment but you couldn’t. there was a lump forming in your throat as heavy tears started to fill your eyes.

perfect. guess this truly was the last straw for you today. your face was burning with utter humiliation and you knew that that was your cue.

“i think i’m gonna head home,” you whisper before leaving the dorms, knowing he wouldn’t chase after you.

and he didn’t. that just wasn’t him.

he was left on his bed, staring at the door you had left wide open, knowing exactly why you left. he froze and gave you the worst reaction possible. he had never seen you like this and didn’t know how to react. it was just easier to avoid talking about more serious things since to truly comfort you, he’d have to tear down his own walls and he just didn’t have the guts for it.

but was betraying your trust in him really worth the supposed safety of those walls?

—

several days had passed since that night, your hurt slowly turning into regret and embarrassment, actively avoiding him every time you ran into him. that moment replaying over and over again in your head, wishing you had never brought up your feelings, wishing you had kept your armour up and promised yourself to never make that mistake again.

vernon, on the other hand, felt his inability to react well when you needed him weigh on him more with each passing day. it was taking a toll on him.

he could barely sleep at night, tossing and turning, trying to come up with a way to apologise. he knew that apologising meant opening up but that refusing to do so meant losing you. both scenarios scared him shitless but he knew that there was only one right answer to his dilemma and yet, he still couldn’t bring himself to face you, scared that you despised him by now. why would you stay with such a coward? his fear caused him to put it off, each night worse than the last until his body reached its breaking point.

you were bingeing a tv show in your home when you received a call from seungcheol.

“hey y/n, think you can come pick vernon up?”

“why?” the hostility in your own voice surprising you.

“he fainted during practice so we can’t let him go home on his own.”

hearing those words felt like your entire body had been dumped in ice water.

“fuck, i’m on my way.”

you quickly hang up, slip on some shoes and drive to the pledis building.

after running up the stairs, you barge in the practice room panting to find him sitting on the floor while the others are standing around him, your sudden entry making them all turn to you.

“thank you for coming through,” says seungcheol as he helps vernon up and walks up to you.

you slowly approach him and gently hold his face in your hands. he looks completely drained.

“what happened?”

“he hasn’t been sleeping well lately so paired up with an intense dance routine, it was bound to go wrong,” replies hoshi, a guilty frown on his face.

“you idiot,” you whisper loud enough that only vernon could hear it and despite the insult, relief washes over him now knowing that you don’t completely hate him, that he still had a chance to make it up to you.

you take over from seungcheol so vernon’s body is now leaning on yours.

“we’ll get going, take care everyone!” you announce and are met with multiple goodbyes before exiting the room.

the car ride back home is heavy with silence, vernon anxiously glancing at you from time to time while you focus on the road. the atmosphere is nasty and you can both feel it so vernon decides to get on with it.

“i thought you were angry with me,” he says in a hushed tone, barely having the courage to look at you.

“do you want me to be angry right now?” you retort, desperately trying to keep a strong facade.

“no, no, that’s not what i meant.”

the silence wraps the both of you again.

in the elevator going up to your apartment, vernon realises that apart from holding him up, you haven’t hugged him, nor kissed him, in fact you barely spared him a look ever since you picked him up and that realisation causes a lump to form in his throat and his heart to squeeze painfully. were you planning on leaving him after this?

he takes a deep breath in an effort to calm himself down, not wanting you to see him this way.

after entering your apartment, you go straight to the kitchen while he follows you like a lost puppy.

“go to the bedroom and change into some more comfortable clothes, i’m gonna make you some tea,” you say as you vaguely nod to said room, knowing that you owned clothes that would fit him.

“alright.” his voice sounds small, he feels small, like his very heart was made of thin glass and you were the one holding it.

when you enter the bedroom with a cup of chamomile tea, he’s sitting on the edge of the bed. his eyes are now scanning you for any sign of… anything, trying to decipher what was going through your head.

you sit down on the bed next to him and place the cup on the bedside table.

“when you’re finished with your tea, try to sleep, okay? i’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

the living room? he wouldn’t be able to count all the times you guys napped together even if he used a graphing calculator. he didn’t like this. he didn’t like this at all.

“stay,” he blurts out, louder than he has been all day.

you look him in the eye for the first time since the practice room and he feels his heart get heavier somehow.

“we can talk after you get some rest,” you reply, averting your gaze from his gentle brown eyes that were starting to eat away at your armour.

you start getting up but stop when he grabs your hand.

“that’s exactly why i haven’t been sleeping.”

you can only look at his hand in silence, his words making you freeze.

“not being able to talk to you isn’t healthy for me as you can see,” he chuckles nervously even though his voice broke mid-sentence. this was now or never. he wasn’t going to lose you, even if that meant destroying his highest walls.

“vernon, let’s just leave it…” you trail off, cowering even though you had promised yourself to not show that side of yourself anymore. much less to him. it was almost like the sound of his voice was strong enough to shatter the armour you had so meticulously built around your heart, leaving you defenceless. completely vulnerable for him to see.

“i’m sorry.”

it’s short and sincere and enough to make the tears in your eyes unbearably heavy.

“you were clearly upset that day and instead of keeping it to yourself, you came to me but i… i was scared, i guess. because if you had the guts to open up to me, that meant that i could too and that scared me into pushing you away. i just wasn’t- i wasn’t brave enough in that moment. and i know that i probably sound so childish right now.”

there’s a brief silence before you hear vernon sniffle, only being able to watch as tears escape his eyes.

“but i’m also not willing to lose you because i’m too childish to admit that i get sad too and also want you to hold me when that happens.”

he lowers his head at that last part. his tears wetting the bed sheets.

you almost wanted to laugh at how absurd the odds were that the two of you could find each other and fall for each other like this. it almost felt like fate and you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing but just like how you had struggled to come to him that day, he just struggled to open up to you and for now, that was enough for you.

you give his hand a gentle squeeze as a silent request to look at you and he does.

“i forgive you. we’ll just have to learn to trust each other more from now on. and besides, who else could provide me with a supply of free beanies as big as yours?”

a smile appears on his face for the first time in a while and kisses your hand.

“i’ll buy you all the beanies in the world.”

“I think communication starts when words are not present at all … I think we put so much emphasis on language, actually silence is so much more important.”

— Marina Abramovic

“I’m trying to confess my undying love for you, and that’s the response I get?”

yoongi x reader genre: fluff word count: 

note: this piece was written by mads, @aurorassadprosee​​​. She initially wrote this one for my birthday in 2019 :( isn’t that sweet? It’s influenced by “New Year’s Day” by Taylor Swift, and if you know the song, you’ll probably see the references. Anyways, this is a really cute fic and I hope you all enjoy! xo

WITH a head swimming with alcohol and body buzzing with warmth, you place one bare foot sloppily in front of the other, fits of giggles escaping your mouth.

Supported by the dark haired man next to you, you both stumble out of the crowded bar, arm-in-arm, into the cool air.

The street lights shine, splitting into four as your vision tries to focus, the sound of horns blaring and tires hitting puddles fill your ears.

The rush of 1am.

Carrying a pair of heels in two fingers, goosebumps start to appear on your bare arms, a slight shiver coming to your breath as you lean your head against Yoongi’s neck.

Swaying down the dirty pavement of New York, streams of people brush past, breath white against the air.

You see a blur of individuals walking briskly, couples, like yourselves, huddled together, and groups of rowdy men drunkenly stumbling to their next drink.

Cheek hot against his skin, the smell his cologne fills your senses, the dry martinis, whiskey sours and double scotches are starting to set in.

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