Buxtry - Bingo Jones

reblog if your family has a plastic bag with plastic bags inside

I’m such a lazy knitter. 

“Oh man the stich count is off. *m1 randomly in middle of row* EVERYTHING IS BACK TO NORMAL!”

“UGH I was supposed to yo here on the last row. *stretches out a ladder from the previous row* Yeah that works.”

“*reading pattern* Make a swatch to determine your gauge.. lol yeah ok.”

And the two that come with it. 

“Oh man this hat is gonna be way too big. Maybe I’ll make a large headed friend one day. *finishes hat* ”

“Oh man this hat is way too small. Maybe I’ll make a baby friend one day. *finishes hat*”

“This scarf is boring. I don’t want to do this anymore. This was a horrible idea. *casts off and joins two ends together* You’re a cowl now.”

“Ugh all of my size 8′s are being used and I don’t want to finish them right now. ….But what if I used a size 9 and just knit really tight. *casts on yet another project*”

“Oh fuck I added an extra repeat and now I’m gonna run out early. Maybe I’ll buy another skein. Man this yarn is more expensive than I remember.*casts off whenever fuck it lol*

“I’ve got so many more hats than I will ever wear I should open a store. *switches to knitting scarves instead* I have too many scarves I should open a store. *switches to knitting shawls instead* “

“Why is my count off? Shit there’s a serious mistake five rows back. God this looks awful. OH MY GOD ITS A DROPPED STITCH. IN A LACE SHAWL. *grabs crochet hook and randomly weaves the dropped stitch in* *counts* Well the stitch count is correct now so… “ 

Console-free Camping

If you like to play The Last of Us, then try Rot & Ruin by Jonathan Maberry

If you like to play Beyond: Two Souls, then try The Girl With All the Gifts by M.R. Carey

If you like to play Call of Duty: Black Ops (Zombies), then try World War Z by Max Brooks

If you like playing Grand Theft Auto, then try American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

If you like playing Sid Meier’s Civilization, then try A Game Of Thrones by George R. R. Martin

If you like playing Final Fantasy, try playing Fullmetal Alchemist by Hiromu Arakawa

If you like playing Mass Effect, then try Illuminae by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff

If you like playing Alice: Madness Returns, then try Madness So Discreet by Mindy McGinnis

If you like playing Halo, then try Starship Troopers by Robert A Heinlein

If you like playing Portal, then try House Of Stairs by William Sleator

If you like playing Mario Kart, then try The Lovely Reckless by Kami Garcia 

If you like playing Dark Souls, then try Anna Dressed in Blood by Kendare Blake

If you like playing Life Is Strange, then try We Are Okay by Nina Lacour

If you like playing Stardew Valley, then try How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff

If you like playing Fable, then try Young Elites by Marie Lu

If you like playing Borderlands, then try Velocity by Chris Wooding

If you like playing Dishonored, then try Airman by Eoin Colfer

If you like playing The Oregon Trail, then try Under a Painted Sky by Stacey Lee

If you like playing the Elder Scrolls series, then try The Naming by Alison Croggon

If you like playing Red Dead Redemption, then try Vengeance Road by Erin Bowman

If you like playing Bioshock, then try  Dark Life by Kat Falls

If you like playing Fallout, then try Razorland by Ann Aguirre 

If you like playing Assasin’s Creed, then try The Way of Shadows Night by Brent Weeks

If you like playing Dragonage, then try Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir

If you like playing The Legend of Zelda, then try Graceling by Kristin Cashore

If you like playing Until Dawn, then try Ten by Gretchen McNeil

If you like playing Sonic, then try Maximum Ride by James Patterson

If you like playing Overwatch, then try Bluescreen by Dan Wells

If you like playing Uncharted, then try Passenger by Alexandra Bracken

If you like playing Pokemon, then try Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them by JK Rowling, and Newt Scamander

If you like playing Mario Party, then try Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

All right, you primitive screw-heads.  Listen up…

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS: Pilot Being a vampire’s familiar is like being a best friend who’s also a slave. Tomorrow night marks the ten year anniversary since I started working for my master. I think he’s planning something pretty special. I think he’s going to make me a vampire.

All things that have form eventually decay