GoodMorning

I’m the guy playing the mobile games in all those ads. My life can be condensed to 30 second segments of failing to match 3 to save the king, running into a x3 multiplier instead of a x30 multiplier, carving a log into a lopsided rectangle rather than a wineglass. My last raise was two cents and it was because I gave the mobile game ad people the idea to give you a little interactive portion after the ad now, so you can show yourself how much better than me you are. How much smarter. Faster. More dexterous. Your fingers are so nimble on the screen, after all... I wonder what else those fingers can do? And yes, I am secretly waiting for the day someone plays every one of those interactive sections so badly that the mobile game people have them take my place in the phone forever, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss it. Ok you can press x to exit now

women do not belong in the kitchen. they belong in the stomach of Beast

me when the beautiful woman tells me I should kill everyone who gets close to me!!!! Lol!!!!! Lmao!!!!!!! Who else can relate!!!!!!!! Comment🫵down 👇 down👇

"come home and see my girl cave :)" I say flirtily. You agree, imagining a rec room with some couches and maybe a few vintage consoles. I lead you down into the basement, where I have carved out a slimy grotto with its own ecosystem. by the time you see me dive into the water and come up with a fish in my teeth, it's too late. You want to fuck me so badly.

I love listening to him talk about his little guys holy shit

ever just forget the world around you and walk off places

feeling the depths of fear and anxiety right now

( ˘ ³˘)♥

😚😚😚😚❤️😚💕😚💕❤️😚😚💕😚😚💕❤️😚😚💕😚😚😚😚😚💕❤️💕😚💕😚😚💕😚💕😚😚💕IM GIVING YOU KISSES FASTER😚😚❤️💕😚😚😚💕😚❤️😚😚💕😚😚😚😚😚❤️😚😚💕❤️💕❤️❤️💕❤️❤️❤️❤️😚😚😚THAN YOU CAN HANDLE THEM💕😚💕❤️😚💕😚😚❤️❤️❤️😚😚😚💕😚

sometimes you just gotta listen to white girl music

oh arthur...