Latest Posts by cannibalminaj - Page 4
But what could be greater than a King? A hero.
He’s very polite
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i just cant get over the lobster scene. like his friends are actively begging him, do not get into the lobster tank. please eddie. tom hardy you were in mad max fury road dont do this. and tom hardy looks at his friend like “i know i shouldnt do this. i shouldnt be getting into this lobster tank but i’m going to anyway. i’m already mostly inside. cant stop now. i’m sorry i dont want to be doing this either there’s just no other choice for me.” and then he takes a bg bite out of a live lobster that’s still in the shell and everything.
tom hardy doesn’t actually know he’s being possessed by an alien yet in the story. he’s just resigned himself to whatever fucking meltdown he seems to be having. he doesn’t even seem particularly surprised that things have gone this way for him. like ten minutes later he finds out his heart stopped working and hes just like “you asshole” and he throws his alien parasite against the wall like a water balloon. and then he just leaves and is immediately kidnapped. what a fucking wild ride tom hardy is on.
tom hardy’s actual superpower is being the exact same level of dysfunctional no matter what is happening in his life. so when everything’s going ok for him he self-destructs spectacularly, but when literally everything that can happen to a human being happens to him, he does, like, unrealistically well. climbing into a lobster tank and eating a live animal with large claws just like… “well, this is what’s happening to me today. i’m so sorry you have to watch this, man. anyway here goes, i’m going to bite into a living creature with my human mouth and then LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS”
this movie’s fucking killing me from the inside.
Eddie, after Venom tells him they have 0 chance of defeating Riot: fuck it, let’s fight him anyways
Venom, choking up: f-fuckin superb u funky little human
Ok but why has no one brought up that we officially have three Tom’s in Marvel now??? Like there has to be a war against the Chris’s and Tom’s now since they have 3v3. Also the Tom’s all happen to be Tom H’s. In this essay I will-
Thor: Ragnarok // Black Panther
It’s hard for a good man to be king.
I turn my back on DC for 1 month and all the sudden Dick isn’t Dick anymore and we see the Batdick™
Am I being topical enough?
Should we make a game about how often I’m going to post this
Guys, from now on DC will be changing future prints of Batman: Damned #1 to censor out Batman’s d*ck, but the joke’s on them now because Batman’s d*ck is going to become a collector’s item.
Printed copies of bat-dk are going to be selling for $35,000 a pop on ebay soon, it’s going to be absolute mayhem. Invest in Bat-d*ck if you can and invest in your future. Buy up every issue in your local comic store. Let Batman’s d*ck pay for your children’s college tuition. It’s what Batman would want.
that little old lady in the captain marvel trailer: [smiles]
me: ok
carol danvers: [punches out the old lady]
me, trusting carol w my life: idk what that old lady did but she’s evil and had it coming
Dick Grayson’s Different Variations: An Energy Alignmant Chart
honestly? keanu reeves should have been in the MCU by now
Infinity War
Thanos, bleeding a little bit from being hit by Iron Man: “All that for a drop of blood?”
Iron Man 2
Whiplash to Iron Man: “If you could make a god bleed, people will cease to believe in him.”