A Hero In More Ways Than One

Lee says:

Here’s a transitioning starter pack for all my trans folk out there!

Transfeminine resources:

Presentation:

Tucking

Chest area

Voice

Broad shoulders tips

Hair removal

Feminine walk

Curves

Waist training

Growing out your hair

Clothing

Makeup

Passing

Medical transitioning:

Not medically transitioning

Fertility

Puberty blockers

Estrogen & anti-androgens/testosterone blockers FAQ

The types of surgery available

Surgery: A guide for transfeminine people

Pumping (Silicone injections)

Facial Feminization Options

Breast Augmentation

Other:

Representation

Transfeminine period dysphoria

Yes, Transfeminine People Can Get Period Symptoms

Slipping into masculinity

Women’s restroom etiquette

Transfeminine people can breastfeed

Having sex or masturbating

Transmasculine resources:

Presentation:

Binding FAQ

Clothing

Facial hair

Masculine makeup

Getting short hair / Masculine long hair

If you can’t start T

Lowering your voice

Packing and standing to pee

Passing as male

Not shaving legs

Medical transitioning:

Not medically transitioning

Fertility

Puberty blockers

Testosterone FAQ

Top surgery

Facial masculinization surgery

Body masculinization surgery

Hysterectomy and oophorectomy

Bottom surgery (genital surgery)

Other:

Periods and related things

Help! I need to see a gyno

Pumping

Masturbation and sex

Using the men’s bathroom

Hudson’s FTM Guide

Height dysphoria

Hip dysphoria

More resources:

What gender am I? A brief intro to questioning

Trans 101 for trans people

What is the transgender umbrella?

How do I choose a name?

How do I come out at work/school or to family/friends?

Dysphoria info and tips page

Mental health coping page

Being trans in school

Non-binary resources

Resources to send allies/friends

A page to send to parents/guardians

Convincing someone to respect name/pronouns 

Here is how to get hormones in the US

Here is how to get hormones in the UK

Here’s a US resource with info on changing legally changing your name and gender marker 

Here is a UK resource with info on changing legally changing your name and gender marker

What are the WPATH-SOC guidelines?

How to save money

How to buy a trans-related item online without parents knowing

I have to go swimming, what do I wear/do?

Trying to sleep when you have dysphoria

Traveling by plane

Gender neutral bathrooms

Getting insurance to cover your transition

Does transitioning help mental health?

Trans teen’s experiences with inpatient hospitalization

Trans identity isn’t a mental disorder

Being religious and LGBT

Suicide and crisis hotlines

Transgender Lives: Your Stories (to see trans adults) 

Gender neutral pronouns in Spanish

Gender Variance Around the World Over Time

A map of gender-diverse cultures

American LGBT history by the National Parks Service

Please reblog, this is so important.

https://paypal.me/crusk362

I normally wouldn't do this, but I am in need. My parents have kicked me out because of my gender identity and their strict religious upbringing, I have lost my job, and I am in need until I can find another job. My girlfriend is helping me how she can but right now, I have no home, no job and no money. Please help a transgirl out how you can.

Edit: just adding some info. My dad has been emotionally abusive and manipulative, making me pay for stuff out of the blue, draining my money when I was trying to save. I'm trying to focus on finishing school in a few weeks (I am 18 and in college), but it was impossible to do so with my job, which constantly made me stressed and sick, as I worked the late hours of night, right after I got out of school and not getting home until 1 in the morning.

Anywhere I could go would be I would have to start over, but right now, I have no money to do that, so that's why I'm asking for help.

Large feminine shoes

USA sizing system used in this post!

Also, some of these websites only sell rather pricey shoes.

Long Tall Sally (up to women’s 15)

Dillard’s extended sizes (up to women’s 15M)

Full Beauty (up to women’s 12WW)

Nordstrom’s extended sizes (up to women’s 13 and 4E width)

Payless (up to women’s 13W)

Zappos (up to women’s 20 and 9E width)

Shoes of Prey (up to women’s 15)

Lonia Shoes (up to women’s 15)

Torrid (up to women’s 13W)

Shoes.com (up to women’s 17WW)

Margaux (up to women’s 14W)

Thando’s (up to women’s 15M)

Eytys (up to about women’s 13)

Just an FYI for those in the US with insurance issues

What IS dysphoria?

Okay, I’m really annoyed by people thinking dysphoria is only debilitating, obvious to self body hate so they must be non-dysphoric. First off, let’s define dysphoria: Sex dysphoria is a disconnect, dissociation, or other discomfort a person has with their sex and/or sex characteristics. It can present A LOT of different ways and be very subtle.

I’m compiling this list to help people see how confusing dysphoria really can be. If you’ve experienced dysphoria in a way that isn’t listed here, please say something to me and I’ll add it. You can read my person experience with my subtle dysphoria that was more obvious upon looking back: [Link]

Ways Dysphoria can present: 

- [Unexplained] depression or anxiety. 

- [Unexplained] anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure or joy)

- Phantom penis or breasts.

- Something feeling “off” or “wrong” in the mirror. 

- Disliking being naked or seeing oneself naked. 

- [Unexplained] anxiety or depression after orgasm or sexual contact. 

- A physical anxiety-like feeling, especially when reminded of one’s sex. 

- Desire to mutilate sex characteristics such as genitals or breasts. 

- [Unexplained] irritability. 

- [Unexplained] resentment for sex opposite of yours. 

- Jealousy of the sex opposite of yours. 

- Feeling uncomfortable, anxious, depressed, resentful, or jealous when people of the sex opposite to yours talk about sex-specific experiences. 

- Stuffing pants/pushing in genitals from a young age and finding it gratifying. 

- Extreme fear of or worse anxiety than normal towards puberty. 

- Stuffing family member’s bras. 

- Making phallic objects and pretending you have a penis. 

- Taking sex toys and finding enjoyment out of pretending you have a penis. 

- Taking every chance with delight to dress up as the opposite sex as a “joke”

- Extreme aversion to gender non-conformity, often times hyper masculinity/femininity to the point of being toxic.  

- [Unexplained] general dissatisfaction when looking in the mirror, especially when naked. 

- Avoidance to being naked. 

- Avoidance to being seen naked by people who it’d normally be acceptable: (Significant others, doctors, etc.)

- Feeling “disconnected” or “Dissociated” from one’s body, especially sex characteristics. 

- Feeling like you’re watching a movie through your eyes. 

- EUPHORIA from transitioning, noticing changes, passing, or doing things reminiscent of the sex opposite of yours. 

- Poor perception of time, days mashing together, time going by fast or slow, etc. 

- Trouble with memory and/or focus. 

- [Unexplained] Flat Affect: Dull emotions, dull facial expressions, dull expression in general.

- General apathy and indifference. . 

- [ Unexplained] General dissatisfaction with life. 

- [Unexplained] Dislike of sex and masturbation. 

- [Unexplained] Discomfort with sex and masturbation. 

- [Unexplained] Uncomfortable physical or emotional feelings or mood swings after orgasm, sex, or masturbation.

- Avoiding sex and masturbation despite wanting to partake in them to avoid uncomfortable feelings after. 

- Feeling as if you’re putting on a performance. 

- Feeling unable to relate to peers of your sex. 

- Feeling more negative or personally hurt about homophobia directed at sex opposite of yours. 

- Frequent daydreaming about being the opposite sex. 

- Frequently making video game or original characters of the opposite sex. 

- Feeling more uncomfortable than normal about hearing your voice played back on a device.

- Feeling uncomfortable in clothing that accentuates your sex characteristics, such as (FtM) women’s jeans making you appear more curvy. 

- Feeling like your libido should be higher or lower, more like the opposite sex.

- Other issues or discomfort with sex or masturbation involving natal genitals, such as vaginismus or vestibulodynia.

- [Unexplained] Dissatisfaction or discomfort with height, feeling you should be taller or shorter/more like the opposite sex. 

- [Unexplained] Strong connection to fictional characters of the opposite sex who you are not attracted to. 

- [Unexplained] Feeling of not belonging or being out of place in social settings where everyone is the same sex as you. 

- As a child, not feeling connected to peers of the same sex. 

- [Unexplained] Extreme aversion to reproducing. 

- [Unexplained] (MtF) Positive or euphoric feelings when thinking about being pregnant.

- (FtM) Using a strap on during sex feels more natural and enjoyable during sex, and (MtF) being penetrated feels more natural and enjoyable.

- [Unexplained] Discomfort or feeling of wrongness at the rate of muscle growth from working out. 

- [Unexplained] Discomfort with fat distribution, especially below the waist.

- Thinking you’re doing something different from what you’re doing when expressing gender nonconformity. Like putting make-up on in front of the mirror as FTM = “Oh my god look at me I’m so faggy!” Building muscle at the gym as MTF = “I’m a strong woman! Subverting gender roles! Breaking the glass ceiling!” There’s dissociation between what you know is actually happening (you look gender conforming) and what you imagine you’re doing.

- Jealousy of trans people who have gotten certain surgeries done

- Difficulty forming connections with people, especially of the same sex.

- Difficulty expressing yourself.

- Unstable identity as an adult. 

- General feeling that something about you is “off” or “different”.

- Switching clothing styles often due to unexplainable dissatisfaction.

- [Unexplained] dissatisfaction with overall appearance.

Thanks, for several suggestions, Trans-Mettaton! :)

THIS IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING. Please send me suggestions and additions of your experiences or others you’ve heard and I will happily and anonymously add them, but right now I’m drawing a blank.

It’s also important to note while gender nonconformity is very common among trans people prior to transition, it is NOT inherently dysphoria or a sign of being trans. Gender nonconformity and disliking/being uncomfortable with gender roles, or your sex/sex characteristics being assigned a gender role, can mimic being trans and having sex dysphoria. The important distinction is that sex dysphoria has to do with SEX. So your physical body, anatomy, physiology, being seen and treated as the sex you want to transition to, etc. Gender roles have to do with behavior, perceptions, roles, presentation, etc. 

Pretty much all of these examples can be caused by other things as well, so if you relate to a thing or two on this list it doesn’t necessarily mean dysphoria. If you relate to a lot of things on this list, you may want to seek guidance from a professional on figuring out why and how you can manage it. Remember, dysphoria can be caused by a lot of things, and not all people overall benefit from transition.

I hope this can help clear up what dysphoria really is so we can finally help questioning people better.

Just in case this needs to be said:

It’s the first draft. Use the word “suddenly.” Put as many dialogue tags and adverbs as you want. Say “he saw” “she remembered” “she felt” “they wondered” as many times as you need to. Put the em dash there, put in too many commas, use semi-colons with reckless abandon. Type in [whatever] instead of thinking up a title for something. Just write it. If you worry too much about the particulars, about all the advice posts you’ve seen saying whatever you’re doing is wrong or not good enough, you won’t get anything done. It will slow you down as you go back and try to reword what you just wrote to make it better, proper. The first draft doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be done. And when you get to the end, you’ll find that all those “mistakes” are just clues for your future self to put together to make it all better.

Putting in adverbs and certain dialogue tags are a note for you as to who is saying something and how they’re saying it. When you’re editing, you can make sure it shows through the story instead. The word “suddenly” is a reminder to make things more abrupt. The first draft is just you mapping out where you want to go and how you want to get there. Don’t waste time trying to get it 100% right now, because then it will never get done. Don’t think too much– just write. Save the thinking for editing later.

things to update after a legal name change!

Social security card

Driver’s license

Passport

Birth certificate

Employer HR

Bank account

Credit card company

Car insurance

Health insurance

Utilities

Cell phone account

Voter registration

Your school

Professional organizations (for nursing, bar, teaching, etc.)

Doctor’s office & other health specialists

TV & internet

Paypal

*Please add to this list if you can think of anything else!!!

(op was deactivated, and tumblr wont let me reblog for some reason. thought id repost with creds to: goawayterfs)

it’s fun to stay at the Y

This is really hard and sorta nsfw... But one of the guys I used to know has done some things that are inexcusable, like make sexual advances towards me and my girlfriend, but he's one of the two people that genders me correctly (I'm mtf) and he is autistic, so I don't know what to do about all this, especially since I am terrified of him and confrontation in general.

boy howdy have i been in this situation before. don’t make my mistake and give him multiple chances, because chances are it’s only going to get worse as time goes on. if worst case happens, sever all contact and try to disappear from his life, and if he keeps harassing you that strays into illegality. 

good luck <3

~kacie