chaoticvintagelesbian

Latest Posts by chaoticvintagelesbian

no, i dont lose hyperfixations. theyre just moved to a different, slightly less used, shelf in my brain.

Anyway if nothing else matters then I hope people remember that Pope Francis used his last public address to call for a ceasefire in Gaza and call Israel a terrorist state:

"I continue to receive very serious and painful news from Gaza. Unarmed civilians are subjected to bombings and shootings. It is terrorism."

Professor Ford AU - Ratemyprofessor reviews

PLEASE check out the original post by the genius @jellybeanjo and the insanely funny replies made by everyone. Genuinely one of the best gf posts ever made.

Reblogs by @jellybeanjo, @aroace-get-out-of-my-face, @coldbronzemoon and myself :D

< First / Next >

Oh hey buddy

hits fiddleford with the femme lesbian beam

I"m thinking about Beetee one day post Mockingjay talking to Katniss & her saying she used to weekly kill squirrels & Beetee being weirdly gleeful about that fact.

“ships should at least make sense.” no. ships can make sense, sure. but they’re just fictional characters we play with for fun. they’re fantasies, not a fucking thesis paper. so no, they don’t always have to make sense. they just have to make you happy (or horny).

let people enjoy (fictional) things however they want to enjoy.

“Why should rich people pay more” because fuck ‘em

“So you are okay for paying more when you have money” I am not excluded from ‘fuck ‘em’ when relevant

this is so relatable. so many girls these days get the "something's wrong with you, so avoid touching a dead body ever because you may end up wanting to nibble on it" talk.

I want less aroace representation that’s like ‘uwu I don’t even know what kissing is bc I’m so innocent and pure’ and way more ‘yeah I grew up in a brothel and it isn’t for me but I LOVE AND SUPPORT my sex worker sisters and so WILL be teaching all the concubines how to do the nastiest, wildest sex to funnel money to my childhood brothel and also to advance my sociopolitical interests’. Or maybe I just need more Maomao period. All the Maomao.

Not to randomly talk about Apothecary Diaries, but almost every time Mao Mao talks about Jinshi she uses the most romantic and poetic terms possible but says them with the banal factuality of a nature documentary narrator, and it is absolutely sending me. Like:

Mao Mao, completely deadpan: He is such a heavenly beauty, people would start wars over him.

Mao Mao, legitimately concerned: I best not put makeup on him. If he were made any more beautiful it would topple nations

Mao Mao, watching girls fawn over Jinshi: This makes sense, he has such otherworldly beauty that he would be irresistible to any woman or man

Mao Mao, as if taking a scientific observation: Something must be amiss with Master Jinshi, usually he glitters like the sun

(I’m not overdramatising, these exact narrations happened)

I love how immediately Gaoshun has to tell Maomao to stop treating Jinshi like a bug because he's being an absolute freak about it. He's like hey, I know we only met a week ago, but you've already given my insane boss a sexual complex and for all of our sakes you should probably try to avoid activating it

maomao is my favorite "not like other girls" style protagonist bc for one shes a girls girl through and through. to the bone. and two she's just a weird little freak. absolute lunatic. they have the whole "omg she's actually beautiful and everyone falls for her when she's all made up" trope but the punchline is that she does not fucking want to look like that. she actively puts dirt on her face every day bc she does not want to be perceived as attractive (mostly out of fear of being used for sex work though at the same time she has the utmost respect for women who do sex work like she grew up in a brothel those are her sisters). she's Sherlock level smart and solves every mystery so fast but goes "well thats none of my business. anyway back to testing poisons on myself" she has the 2nd most powerful guy in the nation head over heels in love with her and is like "man this guy is weird around me what's his deal. I guess he's fine though because he gives me rare medicines and has no dick" fucking ICON i love her. also she once slapped someone so hard they fell on the floor. 10/10

I know a lot of ppl talk about Ford’s fucked up sleeping schedule but we are missing out on both of the sea Grunkles having absurd sleeping schedules.

You’re telling me, Stanley Danley Pines, a man who had a day job of performing, watching over the kids, and having the night job of having to figure out complex equations, having to take up mechanics to re build the portal and a tracking device to find where Ford is theoretically in the multiverse would be have the best sleeping schedule?!

Mans probably taking random ass naps during the daytime. Neither of the brother have proper sleep schedules.

Oh you've given me a reason to talk about the Stan twins and sleeping, you're going to regret this

Between the two of them, I am of the controversial opinion that its STAN who doesn't sleep.

Ford knows the value of sleep. He spent however long avoiding sleep as a LIFE OR DEATH type situation (Bill) and THEN spent 30 years in the multiverse in constant danger sleeping only when he could. Ford has had a terrible relationship with sleeping for forever, even when he was a teen, desperate to prove himself, he wasn't sleeping in order to study and read.

Which is WHY, retired Ford? Fucking LOVES to sleep.

Bill is gone. He's on a boat, safe, with his brother by his side and all the food, medical supplies, and resources he could ever need or want, studying anomalies on what is basically a never ending vacation. All this to say, FORD takes naps. He takes naps in bed, at all hours. He takes naps on couches, on chairs, on the desk, sitting upright in kitchen stools, Ford takes naps in the car, no matter what car, whatever. If the place is VAUGLY comfortable and his brother is nearby, Ford is out like a light. The man makes napping an OLYMPIC LEVEL SPORT and he wins it like everything else. The amount of sleep he gets is something to aspire to.

STAN on the other hand. Is the opposite. His sleep was not a constant pull towards factors he could not control, his sleep schedule is as solid as stone and as unending as steel.

It's just TERRIBLE.

Stan runs, fully functional and his ultimate cheery (grumpy) self, on MAXIMUM three hours of sleep a night. 10 years of rigorous sleep schedule to move the car he's sleeping in so he doesn't get his window knocked on by police. Top THAT with 30 years of running the shop during the day, and spending ALL NIGHTS EVERY NIGHT working on the portal, means that Stan's body has given up the fight of demanding more sleep and just thrown in the towel, and Stan gets by with basically nothing

This is, predictably, SUPER GODDAMN UNHEALTHY.

When Ford gets back, Stan sort of. Doesn't know what to do with himself. He's awake, no matter of tossing and turning really matters, he's just. Perfectly fine being alive at 2 in the morning

After the memory gun, Ford is VERY CONCERNED by this behavior, CONVINCED that the not sleeping thing is a side effect. It isn't until Stan gets all his memories back (and after Stan yells at him for hovering) that Ford internalizes that Stan really. Just. Doesn't sleep.

(He learns the reasons for it and has a whole ADDITIONAL guilt spiral on top of the Bill cipher/memory gun one. Stan has to actually wrestle him into the idea that he loves him anyway)

Que Stanford Pines Ultimate Plan to get Stan to sleep more.

Hes a doctor twelve times over, surely this will be easy.

ERR WRONG. Stan is a hard nut to Crack.

Super comfortable bed? No change. Better pillows? Ultra soft blankets? Nope. Weighted blankets? Stan feels too constricted, opposite effect. Darkened bedroom space? Too dark. Nightlight? The blue light makes them BOTH have night terrors. Sleep aids like sleeping pills or dummies? Stan compares them to the drugs the mental institution gave him and Ford hucks them into the ocean.

Stan's BATSHIT sleep schedule is a constant battle Ford has to fight, but by god is he going to win. Eventually.

Haymitch and his ducklings

snow really convinced himself lucy gray didn't love him (after she wrote a whole song about him and tried to run away with him) and then forty years later told sixteen year old haymitch abernathy that dying in the arena would be dodging a bullet compared to loving a covey girl. top 10 situationships gone horribly wrong

HAYMITCH ABERNATHY & HIS TWIN SISTERS

SUNRISE ON THE REAPING chapter 3 / chapter 21 / chapter 26

Haymitch finding it impossible to ditch Lou Lou despite knowing that he should. She latches onto him and he just becomes her protector until the end where she dies in his arms.

Katniss finding it impossible to ditch Rue despite knowing that she should. She also latches onto Katniss who becomes her protector until the end where she dies in her arms.

They both see their little sisters in the young girls by their side. They both know that their deaths are inevitable. They both die with injuries to their chests. Both Katniss and Haymitch delay the hovercraft from taking them.

Both girls are from district 11.

Maysilee “she slaps back” Donner

Wyatt “sacrificed himself protecting a little girl with poor odds” Callow

Louella “sweetheart” McCoy

Lou Lou “murderers” McCoy

Woodbine “runs like greased lightning” Chance

Haymitch “im not much of a drinker” Abernathy

how do y’all think haymitch felt when katniss came back to him all “i want wiress, beetee, and mags as allies” in catching fire? hand-picking his two and a half men(tors)!!

“of course you do” as his response now means so much more bc he’s not just exasperated he’s like “you really are me with a braid”

FAE STAN IS SUCH A COOL IDEA!! Ford, not even knowing his brother is a fae creature, going to the fae realm for research purposes or stumbling upon a faerie ring and BAM!! Stan’s there! But he looks?? Wrong? His nose that used to be crooked was straight, his yellowed teeth were bone white, his skin was unblemished, years of acne scars wiped away, and suddenly Ford was staring at a distorted version of his twin. For just a second Ford thinks it’s just a trick, but no fae would react the way Stan did by just seeing him, his perfect skin taking a deathly pale shade at the sight of Ford’s face. His twin, it’s seems, has a lot of explaining to do.

(Cut to Stan trying to trick Ford into making a deal with him, just for funsies.)

Sorry for the ramble, non-human Stan is one of my fav tropes!!

Oh man that's way less angsty than my idea.

In mine he drives off, then gets portaled into the fae realm as a failed changeling, since he didn't make it to 18 with his human family. Spends the next several days whiplash learning about fae stuff, making fae friends and enemies, meeting his equally terrible fae parents, then drives out of the fae realm with a bunch of stolen treasures, confident he can win his place back with his family.

Exits the fae realm in Gravity Falls by crashing into Fords cabin, because the 10 days Stan's been gone equals 10 years in the human realm, and now little fae Stan is here at the height of Ford paranoia, distraught about how much time has passed, and the fact that Ford doesn't believe he's him.

low on spoons and life stuff going on so heres a very fast doodle

Am I wrong to think the Mystery Shack is hardly even a scam?? It does its job of entertaining people, who cares if the attractions are fake, have you ever been to a theme park?? And who cares if people are willing to spend on overpriced merchandise? Stan isn’t selling necessities, he’s selling entertainment and can mark it up as he pleases

Can the people please see more of Anita Million Bux??

two of her, corseted, cunty

i genuinely need people to learn fandom etiquette. if u don’t like a fic, then don’t read it, commenting on grammar mistakes and leaving ‘constructive criticism’ on a less than 2k one-shot is braindead behaviour. plus, wtf is the need to insult other writers on my stuff?

in the least respectful way possible, kys <3

This did not turn out how i planned. I got bored so i quickly had to finish it before i forget about it.

I cant stand the music anymore

vampire hunter & his vampire brother

they’re doing ok