:-D I Always Want..

Where I see myself in

5 years ✨ (Lifestyle)

Ermm... truth much.

As a black woman who likes white men why don’t we see many black women/white men pairings, without the white guy trying to come off as this urban stereotype?

Such Wisdom…. intrinsic Knowledge and the  Carnal Acceptance of who We are… It does make the world a better place. Always.. xo.

Hi there. I'm a 16 year old black girl who has started to become more insecure. I've been bullied at school & I'm the exact opposite of western beauty ideals which majority of people follow. I'm very dark skinned with a wide broad nose, big cheekbones & big round eyes. I have started to feel worthless. I've noticed girls with dark skin are usually considered conventionally beautiful if they have thin nose and lips like Kerry Washington & East Africans. Please tell me how I can live a happy life.

Hi sweetheart.

I have thought long and hard before I answered this question, which is why it’s been sitting in my inbox for the past two days. Don’t think I’ve been ignoring you. I just prayed that I could find the words to be of help to you.

First things first: fuck Western beauty ideals. With MUCH disrespect.

And I know. That is HARD. Because it is EVERYWHERE. We are encapsulated by images of societally deemed ‘perfection’ that look far from us. I’m not lily white with blonde hair, blue eyes and a size 2. But in every ad in Vogue, the women are just that. It sucks. It’s bizarre to feel like your beauty is some sort of ‘trend’ to society. At first, white skin was clearly in. Then, lighter skinned black models became acceptable. And now, darker skinned models are ‘acceptable’ but still not booked as often, and still not used for high fashion campaigns. And even still, those girls are rail thin and don’t look like most of us. Steps are being made, but they are slow. So.

That’s why we have to take care of ourselves, sista.

Let me tell you a few things. That wide broad nose you have, is the indelible trait that you are a descendant from royalty. Your lineage is so resilient that through slavery and ships, through famine and warfare, you still have the regal bearings of your ancestors from hundreds of years ago. You are discernible as a dignified woman whose beauty is a precious gift passed down from illustrious, imperial Mother Africa many moons ago. Your broad nose notifies us all of your nobility. So hold it up high.

Your cheekbones? Do you know how many white women are paying hundreds and thousands of dollars for big cheekbones like yours? Girl, let me tell you. Those big cheekbones are God’s way of letting us all know he spent a little more time on you. He arched and sculpted and molded you until He was satisfied that when you smiled, your prominently placed cheekbones reflected light and glistened. I have big cheekbones and I love them. Every man I have ever dated has loved them. They are queenly and womanly. They add depth to my face. I can create a look of desire by sucking them in. I can create an impish look by grinning widely, sending them shooting up to kiss my eyelashes. Little sista, trust me. Big cheekbones, are one of the most beautiful attributes you can have as a woman. And even if those silly 16 year old boys aren’t telling you that now, by the time you’re my age, 9 years from now, you’ll have some man beating down your door, just to see you smile. 

Big round eyes are beautiful. They tell the world you are inquisitive. Opens your soul up for business. Your face illuminates when you laugh, eyes dancing. Your eyes give away when you are disappointed, darting downward. Your eyes widen like saucers on a Sunday morning after church when you are frightened. Your eyes are descriptive. Your eyes tell your story when you don’t have the words to say anything yourself. Big round eyes, to be honest, are actually one of the most attractive traits men look for, studies have shown. So, two points for those big brown eyes, dear.

As for your dark skin. Yes, I saved the best for last.

There is nothing worthless about your dark skin. You are clothed in the allure and mystery of midnight. You are the exact shade that God intended you to be. You are the color of the earth and of ebony and mahogany woods and of my mother’s warm eyes and a cup of my favorite coffee and the sparrow who’s song wakes me up every morning  and that point in the night when the sun hasn’t quite faded into oblivion and night hasn’t quite announced its presence. You are the deep, dark brown that lovers hide in. You are the deep, dark brown that secrets are kept. You are the deep, dark brown of the earth before He said let there be light you ARE a deep, dark brown girl and if they have the audacity to bully you, a young woman of worth and value, of beauty and strength, of character and nobility, of honor and conviction, then they are too moronic, too dense, too stupid to see that you are beautiful. And not everyone is entitled to BEHOLD your beauty.

To you, I pray. I was you 9 years ago. I felt confused and ugly and sad but I promise you, little sista, you will flourish. I hope you read this and you smile. I hope you read this and you look in the mirror and you see every beautiful trait of yours. Most importantly, I hope you read this and decide, you know what, FORGET a mirror, because you don’t need a piece of glass to reflect back on the beauty that illuminates inside of you. You are 16 years old. The world is yours if you open your heart. Happiness is, more often than not, just around the corner. So, little sista, today, tonight, or whenever you read this, make the brave choice to say, “I am beautiful. I look like a queen. I feel like a queen. My happiness is mine and mine alone and I choose to dress myself, to dress my very soul, up in happiness from head to toe.”

I hope this helps. I PRAY this helps. Please, feel free to contact me again if you want to talk. I don’t know you at all, I wish I did, but I LOVE you. And I am sending you all of my well-wishes and ‘you go, girl!’ vibes from here to wherever you are.

All my love,

Ashley

things to let go of:

embarrassing moments in the past. things you should have phrased differently. people you wish you still knew. those tiny mistakes that keep you up at night - we are all made up of them. all we can do is move forward.

jealousy of others for already having the success you’re striving towards. as a writing tutor once said, “don’t piss on other people’s chips. because one day when you’re eating chips, you really won’t want them to have piss on.”

the phrase “i’ll be happy when ….” you won’t. the thing you think you’re after won’t satisfy you the way you expect. learn to stop striving and start appreciating.

the feeling that every minute not spent doing the creative activity you love (writing knitting art jogging journalling reading), or every minute not crammed with a form of media or entertainment (music tv youtube audiobook podcast), is “unproductive” or a waste. sometimes u can just sit and listen and experience what the world has given you in that moment.

the idea that someone has an intrinsically better life because they have the clothes or body or holiday or house or partner you crave.

the guilt of not being there for everyone all the time. it’s only our phones that have made us feel we have a duty to be 24/7 in touch. it’s ok to take breaks.

the need to photograph every meal or coffee cup or sunset or outing with friends. not because there’s anything wrong with keeping a record but because the pressure to get the “right” and “perfect” shot decreases the joy of living and experiencing the thing itself.

the phrase “i need to stop eating [insert essential food group here]”.

Before sin entered the world, what was Adam and Eve’s purpose? They had no one to pray for.. they had no sickness to combat.. they had no pain, no sorrow.. what did they talk to God about? What was their purpose.

This was presented to me the other day and I’ve been thinking on it a fair bit. If we took an evaluation of how we prayed/spent time with God.. would it look like the relationship Adam and Eve had before sin entered the world?

We are now dead to sin through Jesus and yet we go to God with our negativity and complaints. But what if we didn’t have those things to worry about? What would we talk to Him about?

This is a goal of mine.. to not just go to God with my problems.. but to go to Him as a friend.. a father and talk to Him about everything and nothing. Maybe even just continual thank Him for all He does for me. I just want a close connection with Him and I’m seeing that the way I’m living now.. is hindering me from it.

Nothing else will make you type slower other than your last password attempt.

Please be mindful of the “spiritual” posts and advice you see on social media and platforms like this ones, even if you aren’t a Christian. A lot of the beliefs that are promoted on here are quite harmful and dangerous to practice, I know that from personal experience. I’m always asked why I don’t believe or subscribe to things like astrology and other new age beliefs, but I was once someone who partook in those things and I experienced first hand the damage that it can have on someone’s psyche and overall well-being. A lot of people are depressed and suicidal these days because they want to cling onto something to get meaning out of, something “spiritual”, so they start making idols of these new ages beliefs: the position of the planets, seeing themselves as the gods of their own reality, etc. 

The most disturbing thing I see promoted on here is flat out witchcraft and the use of spells to get things out of life. Understand that not everything that appears of light is of light. Yes, you may get some things by practicing occult rituals, but at what cost? Trust that sooner or later those things will come back to haunt you. You don’t know what or who you are inviting into your life.

I don’t know who needed to hear this but my spirit compelled me to write this. It’s coming from a place of love and not judgement. If you guys want to dive on these types of subjects and my opinions on it let me know through my inbox. 

My heart.

A post shared by Royyal Dog 심찬양🇰🇷 (@royyaldog) on Dec 14, 2017 at 7:58am PST

🌸🌹🌺🌸🌹🌺🌸In Love🌸🌺🌹🌸🌺🌹🌸

oh my........ this is just amazing..the smooth stones... :))

(by Luke Austin)

This is Hilarious!

😂😂😂😂