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Amen. I needed to Read this today. I don't want to exist Outside of Christ.

Today I just realized again that all I need is God. No matter what happens, he is there to catch me. He is there - with his love, strength, peace, faithfulness, holiness - I can’t describe how beautiful it is to live in his presence. I can’t describe how thankful I am to have him and to belong to him. The moment I step out of his presence I am lost. But thank God, my shepherd always knows where to find me. I love you Jesus.

hahahahahahahahaha... i need to see this every time i log into my blog.. LOOOOL

June 2020 Makeover

Kenzzi hair removal

Full body wax

Malaysian hair install

Apres gel x nail set

Classic lash extension set

Brow wax and tint

Gel manicures and lush pedicures

Buy designer bags and clutches

New wardrobe from SHEIN and MissGuided

Braces with simple silver wires

Wear heels more often

Resurfacing facials and new skincare products

Homemade sugar scrubs

Coconut oil all over

More dainty jewelry

Cake face whenever I’m out

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I hate how our society has not only normalized but almost glorified alcoholism. I was scrolling through the reactions to a recent study that highlighted the (obvious) health risks that consuming alcohol poses and people were not only surprised to hear that consuming alcohol is not good for them, but some were even defensive/mad about it.

How out of touch with reality does a person have to be to think that putting literal alcohol inside their body will not harm them? Why is it that certain people cannot see themselves having fun or "enjoying" life if they are not under the influence of alcohol or drugs? Why are we glamorizing the use of these substances as a must in social interactions, especially for young people? Choosing to be sober is seen as an act of defiance in today's culture and it speaks volume about it.

Your body is your temple, you are the only one responsible for taking care of it and nourishing it. You make the decision to allow others, oftentimes miserable, to influence you in ways that could end up eventually harming it and shortening your lifespan, or not. Living a conscious life where you do not follow the crowd but do what's best for you and always uphold your best interests is not easy, but it is so worthy. In the long term you will look back to your younger years and will thank yourself for remaining consistent and disciplined in the habits that helped you improve your life, and if you're currently engaging in damaging ones, remember it's never too late to start. Choose better for yourself today.

things to let go of:

embarrassing moments in the past. things you should have phrased differently. people you wish you still knew. those tiny mistakes that keep you up at night - we are all made up of them. all we can do is move forward.

jealousy of others for already having the success you’re striving towards. as a writing tutor once said, “don’t piss on other people’s chips. because one day when you’re eating chips, you really won’t want them to have piss on.”

the phrase “i’ll be happy when ….” you won’t. the thing you think you’re after won’t satisfy you the way you expect. learn to stop striving and start appreciating.

the feeling that every minute not spent doing the creative activity you love (writing knitting art jogging journalling reading), or every minute not crammed with a form of media or entertainment (music tv youtube audiobook podcast), is “unproductive” or a waste. sometimes u can just sit and listen and experience what the world has given you in that moment.

the idea that someone has an intrinsically better life because they have the clothes or body or holiday or house or partner you crave.

the guilt of not being there for everyone all the time. it’s only our phones that have made us feel we have a duty to be 24/7 in touch. it’s ok to take breaks.

the need to photograph every meal or coffee cup or sunset or outing with friends. not because there’s anything wrong with keeping a record but because the pressure to get the “right” and “perfect” shot decreases the joy of living and experiencing the thing itself.

the phrase “i need to stop eating [insert essential food group here]”.

Isaiah 43:19

Eterera wone ũndũ ũngĩ mwerũ ũrĩa ngwĩka,

O na rĩu nĩũratuĩka, na nĩũkũhota kũwona!

Atĩrĩĩrĩ, nĩ ngũthondeka barabara

ĩtwĩkanĩrie kũu werũinĩ

na ndũme njũũĩ igĩe kuo.

To being Woman.

I think about women a lot and the pain they share. I think about my mother's nights taking care of her sister, taking care of her mother's pain. I think about her cries when she miscarried the first time and how fifteen years later she still cries in the bathroom and barricades herself in a room when my father shouts.

think about my grandmother working in a factory fixing stockings for other women in the dark, talking to other tired women outside on the street. I think about her raising children and providing for the family, spending most of her life in the kitchen between pots and pans, riddled with cuts and burns and child bearing. I think about her abortion because she couldn't feed another mouth, because she was already starving.

I think about my great grandmother providing for a family with no husband around, carrying guilt, feeding the chicken, working two jobs, sleeping in a cold house with no lights on.

I think about the women I know who have blood on their thighs, from periods, from childbirth, from rape, from sex with violent men who don't care about them.

i think about the women in bathtubs filled with boiling water, drinking whiskey, using their own knitting needles and coat hangers and throwing themselves down the stairs.

I think about the women who get home and clean the house, wash the same dishes everyday, clean the same house everyday, raising the same children, crying secretly in their bathroom.

I think about the blonde woman on the street corner who I've seen being there for eight years now, waiting for violent men with violent fantasies, waiting for the next beating, the next police fine, the next chance to eat.

I think about a classmate who dropped out from sixth grade to go to Austria, to follow her mother, who went cried in the bathroom stall next to me, because she knew what is going to happen with her.

I think about the pain that women share, the pain they can't articulate, the pain that boils in them for all their lives, becuase it's never appropriate to let it out. wailing women at funerals burying what they made, wailing girls in bathrooms, wailing women alone in their houses.

their blood staining underwears, kitchen knives, bedsheets, thrown away condoms, being consumed from the inside out, because women's pain is natural, because there is greater pain out there, because only little girls cry, never adult women.

Living His Word

Don’t brag about tomorrow,    since you don’t know what the day will bring. Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth–    a stranger, not your own lips. - Proverbs 27:1-2

Humility is an essential and fundamental quality of the Christian life. It is essential and fundamental because of the position human beings have in the great scheme of things. God is the sovereign ruler over all creation. We exist in the creation that He made. Although He made us in His image and placed us in a position above all other creatures (Genesis 1:26-28), we are still subject to His divine providential control. He determines the story of creation and He determines the story of our lives within His creation.

True humility, then, recognizes and acknowledges the subservient place we have in the great scheme of things. Although we may think we know what the day will bring, we can make no guarantees. As the Proverb says, “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps” (Proverbs 16:9). And that’s why James warned us not to boast about tomorrow. Instead, he said we should say, ’“If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that”’ (James 4:15). After all, unlike the sovereign and eternal God who controls all things, our lives are “like the morning fog–it’s here a little while, then it’s gone” (James 4:14).

The true humility that recognizes and acknowledges our subservient place also knows that boasting about one’s accomplishments does not properly reflect our status in reality. Although there may be occasions when public acknowledgment of one’s accomplishments is necessary for personal vindication or for the edification of others, as was the case with Paul and the Corinthian church (II Corinthians 11:12), gratuitous boasting has no place in God’s Kingdom. We are dependent creatures. We are dependent upon God for everything we have and everything we are. Instead of boasting about ourselves, then, we should boast about God (II Corinthians 10:17).

Paul said, “When people commend themselves, it doesn’t count for much. The important thing is for the Lord to commend them.” (II Corinthians 10:18). One of the ways that the Lord can do this is by having others ? strangers even ? praise us. And in the next life, of course, the Lord Himself will do the job personally (I Corinthians 4:5).

We don’t have to brag about tomorrow or praise ourselves. God can see to it that we get the acknowledgement and the encouragement we need.

© 2016 by Bible League International

Lovey stuff

Listen to me, your body is not a temple. Temples can be destroyed and desecrated. Your body is a forest - thick canopies of maple trees and sweet scented wildflowers sprouting in the underwood. You will grow back, over and over, no matter how badly you are devastated.

Beau Taplin (via quotes-for-reference)

#Temples #Forests #Growth.