I Can't Stand These New Fountain Machines They Dispense Watered Down Piss

lol this is so marsha thankk you for—*looks at comments*—…i’m glad we all agree

House MD + text posts pt. ∞

TIL Dr. Sigmund Freud was addicted to smoking and failed to quit for good throughout a 45 years long battle that included 33 operations for cancer of the jaw, an artificial jaw replacement, and attacks of “tobacco angina” exacerbated by nicotine . He was known to smoke up to twenty cigars a day.

via reddit.com

My mutuals are both broke and kinky so I have no choice but to piss on the poor

🐀 🧀 🧀 🧀

RODENT HATERS UNFOLLOW IMMEDIATELY

house just stands there with a thousand yard stare after this

Have you seen the new show? It's on Tubu. It's literally on Heebee. It's on Poodee with ads. It's literally on Dippy. You can probably find it on Weeno. Dude it's on Gumpy. It's a Pheebo original. It's on Poob. You can watch it on Poob. You can go to Poob and watch it. Log onto Poob right now. Go to Poob. Dive into Poob. You can Poob it. It's on Poob. Poob has it for you. Poob has it for you.

they should invent a grief that doesn’t define you in new and strange ways for the rest of your life

one funny trait i have is that im really oblivious to flirting -- not, as is common, because my self-esteem is too low to believe anyone could be interested in me -- but because my self-esteem is too high to assume there's any ulterior motive to compliment me. a girl can be like 'wow... your eye are mesmerizingly beautiful in the sunlight' and ill be like You know youre actually so right im always thinking this too well observed