Who Will Arrange My Great Escape?

So my husband is back on his medieval warfare and tactics special interest lately, and he was telling me about how so many battles were lost because the knights would just disobey orders and break ranks because they got too excited and just went full Leroy Jenkins. Prey drive switches on and they see somebody running and they just blank out and go.

Which seemed really dumb to me, like people couldn’t be that stupid, until I got walloped in the face by a memory from freshman year of college.

It’s almost 10pm in the dead of winter right before Finals, I’m out at college in a high altitude desert in the biggest city I’ve ever been in during my life. My dorm is on the second floor of one of the newest buildings, which are still surrounded by construction zones for the other new buildings going up. Just past the construction zones is one of the city’s major roads. There is still snow on the ground outside, the sidewalks are ice and rock salt, and the parking lot is a slush pile. (All of this is relevant in a minute I swear, stay with me here.)

We get a knock at the door. One of my roomies answers it. There’s 2 creepy looking muscle dudes asking for another roommate, E. E is creeped out and doesn’t want to go see them, but they won’t leave, insisting they see her and talk to her out in the hall. My spider senses are tingling, the social anxiety override kicks in, and I go full Mom Friend and ask them who they are and how they know her. And dudes just take off for the stairwell.

And I took off after them.

I need y’all to understand that I was an asthmatic at altitude in a mountain city in winter at night in shorts and a t-shirt and no shoes whatsoever, and I somehow made it down two flights of stairs, out the door, down the sidewalk, across a construction zone, across the parking lot, and halfway to the road screaming at two beardy dudebros twice my size to “get back here you little creeps”, all before I had consciously realized that I had left my apartment. Something about watching two creepy guys run for it triggered something in me, some latent instinct to Search and Destroy. Like Fight or Flight but I wasn’t the one being threatened, they were the ones doing the Flight, and I had this deep, ferocious need to FIGHT.

I full on blanked out, y’all. I literally have no memory of getting down the stairs or across the parking lot or anything at all until I was watching the headlights on the road thinking “wait, where are my shoes?” It’s a little black hole. I was in the apartment, they took off running, and then bam, there I was. It was like an out of body experience, I was hearing myself shout at them and thinking “I sound like such an idiot right now omg,” and then I realized What I Had Done.

Not only was it stupid, it was super dangerous. Even aside from all the environmental dangers, if they were some kind of kidnappers they could totally have snatched me. And yet there I was, barefoot in the snow and road salt with no phone, no inhaler, and I was still hollering after them like a dog on a chain when one of my roommates came down in boots and a coat to drag me back inside.

And honestly? I’m still miffed I never caught the guys. That was my takeaway from that incident.

So yes, I believe it now. People are so unbelievably dumb and the prey drive instinct is absolutely real.

"he was all alone for so long. and then... a little cat appeared." shut the fuck up this is literally what everything ever is about forever

Anyone should be able to get bottom surgery for any reason, and it should be free.

Cis guy wants a vaginoplasty but nothing else, and still identifies as a cis guy? ABSOLUTELY.

Cis girl wants phalloplasty? WITHOUT QUESTION.

People should be allowed to have whatever relationship with their bodies and identities makes sense for them.

(this post MUST be reblogged by EVERYONE)

Lol just found McDonald's doordash on someone's doorstep #hunter #gatherer

reasons.

We took the drunk train home.

They were all absolutely infatuated with him and whispering about how much they wanted to pet him and then shushing each other saying “no that’s rude you can’t! just leave him alone!” so I told them they can pet him if they want and they were absolutely overwhelmed with happiness, while simultaneously being very concerned for his well-being, continually asking if I was very sure that it was okay and that I should please please tell them if I need them to leave him alone.

Basically, it was a great ending to a VERY long day. Sometimes people are really great.

This one hovered around my heart for over a year <3 

a gang of scoundrels!

Little steps towards becoming a  more kind person - and feeling better about yourself!

Smile when you accidentally make eye contact with strangers.

If you think something positive about someone, tell them. Even if they’re a stranger. Even if you feel a bit silly. Tell that girl you love her dress. Tell that dude his tattoo is awesome. Tell your friend how funny she is. I promise you that they will appreciate hearing what you admire about them and there’s a good chance that you using those 5 seconds to give them a genuine compliment will make their entire day.

When you’re around new people, make an effort to go say hi. Go introduce yourself and ask them who they are and how they’re doing. Start a conversation if you feel like it. Who knows, maybe that girl your acquaintance brought to that party has the potential to become your new best friend - and you won’t know before you start talking to her.

If you see someone falling behind while walking in a group, stop and wait for them to catch up even if the others don’t.

If you see someone get interrupted in a conversation you’re a part of, wait for the new person to stop speaking and then look at the person who got interrupted and ask them what they were about to say. Let them know that you care to hear it.

If YOU accidentally interrupt someone, stop yourself and say “hey, I didn’t mean to interrupt you, I thought you were done speaking - what were you about to say?”

If you see someone sitting/standing alone, go ask if you can join them - or invite them to come join you and the people you’re hanging out with.

If you’re in a group conversation and someone is trying to say something and no one is really noticing, look at them and let them know that even if everyone else are stuck in their own stuff right now, you’re there and you care to listen to what they’re trying to share.

Remember to tell the people you care about that you care about them. Send a text to that friend you haven’t seen in a while to let them know that you miss them. Tell your partner that you love them. Tell that new person you’re getting to know how cool you think they are. Call your mom to hear how she’s doing. Don’t be afraid to let the important people in your life know that they’re loved and cared about.

When someone is really passionate and knowledgeable about something, take advantage of it! Ask them some questions and make proper use of this opportunity to learn something new. Make sure to show the people in your life that you don’t think their passions are cringy or boring or dumb.

If something reminded you of someone, let them know. Send your friends songs or silly memes which somehow reminded you of them, and tag them in posts you think they’d enjoy. I promise that they’ll be excited to know that you think of them even when they aren’t around.

Remember to check up on people. Ask that friend you haven’t heard from in a while how they’re doing and what they’re up to. Ask the person who’s seeming unusually distant and sad whether they’re okay. Ask the stranger crying on the street whether there’s something you can do. You can’t force them to accept your help, but you can show them that you’re there and that you care and that alone will mean a lot to them.

Stop talking shit about people behind their backs (unless they’re really horrible people/abuses/predators, in which case warning people about them is necessary and valid!) If you have a serious issue with someone, either tell them directly so that you can work on resolving it or stop hanging out with them.

If you enjoy something someone created, make sure to let them know. Especially if they’re a small artist/creator. Leave kudos and a nice comment on that fanfiction you loved. Reblog/share that piece of art or that poem you really liked. And whenever you see something on your social media feed which you really enjoy, make sure to check out the OP and maybe give them a follow.

Every once in a while, take a couple minutes to tell some of the people you enjoy following on social media that you really enjoy their content or their personality or their art and why that is. It could easily make their day. (It’s okay to go on anon if you’re feeling shy!)

Remember to give compliments to people which aren’t about appearance. Tell your friends how much you love their humor or their passion or their honesty or their confidence. I know they’re probably hot too but make sure to remind them that they are much more than a pretty face.

If you notice that someone is struggling, offer your help and support if you can. Take the time to have that deep conversation with them about how they’re feeling and what’s going on in their life - and if they’re struggling with self care, maybe bring them a home cooked meal or offer to help them conquer the mountains of dishes in their kitchen/do their laundry/buy some groceries/clean their apartment a bit.

If you’re sitting with a group of people and you notice that someone is falling out of the conversation, ask them a question to make them feel like someone cares to hear their input.

Make a habit of asking people whether they’re fully comfortable with something before you do it. Some people don’t like hugs or other casual touching and some people don’t always have the energy to help you sort out your dating situation and some people are triggered by talk of certain topics. So make a habit of asking “is it okay if I hug you/vent to you/talk to you about x topic” before you start doing the thing in question.

If people aren’t hurting themselves or someone else, let them be. Even if you think they’re being weird. Even if you don’t get it. Unless they’re doing something which is actively causing harm to someone, don’t comment on, judge or criticize people for doing something unusual. Just let them be. They probably have their reasons.