I've Never Had Such Fake, Shallow Friendships As I Have With White, Liberal, "queer" Friends. People

these are the capybaras of trans exclusionary indoctrination. reblog at ur own risk

I’ve volunteered at our local senior center for years, and once I’d gotten to know the women who came, I’d eventually ask about their husbands, and they’d confide to me that they felt like a nurse, not a wife, because he expected to be waited on hand and foot, three hot meals a day, his medicine handed to him exactly when he needed to take it, her to make all his appointments. And I’d suggest, oh, they have those pill bottles that tell you when you last took your medicine, there are these services for seniors to help get you to appointments, I can sign you up for meals on wheels!

And they’d say, no, it wasn’t that he couldn’t manage his own appointments or pills or dinner, because he’d done it for years, but he stopped when they moved in together/got married/bought a house/had a kid/two kids. A woman told me she dated a man for years, had a child with him, got pregnant again, moved across the country for his job - and the second she had no job, no nearby family, a toddler, and a newborn, his personality did an immediate 180. I heard this story from every woman, the only difference was when it occurred. After marriage? The first kid? The second? When did he feel like she was in too deep to divorce him, and stop pretending to give a fuck about her?

So I started gently inquiring with middle-aged women and younger, trying to figure it out. And they all described the same thing. Some of them were bewildered, trying to fix it, thinking it was temporary. I met a woman who described her husband’s “postpartum depression”, which involved him reneging on his promise to take paternity leave, laying around when he was home, accepting every offer of work travel he could, and yelling at her constantly. Five years later, his “PPD” is still going strong. One woman wistfully told me about how they used to go grocery shopping together and cook a delicious meal together for them and their kid, but when he got a job across the country and they moved, he stopped helping and she became responsible for cooking all meals, or he’d feed their kid a microwave quesadilla for dinner every night. I know a childfree woman who separated from her husband because he started dumping all the chores on her, but went back to him when he promised to fix it and started acting like when they were dating. And then five years later, once they’d bought a vacation home together and were renting it out, he immediately struck again. Only this time, divorcing him was going to be such a financial tangle that she just decided to suck it up and pick up his socks for the rest of their marriage.

There was one single man who came to the senior center with his wife, doted on her, was an absolute Prince Charming until the end. He was so endlessly kind and adoring with his wife, she raved about him. They would look through the classes we offered, each circle on their own pamphlet the ones they wanted to do, and then do the ones they both circled, and he would peek over her shoulder to circle the ones she did - we all knew it, and it was hugely adorable.

Then she died, and he tried to alter her will to give her family farm that she’d inherited from her mother to their son instead of their daughter, who had been running it for years.

And after all these stories, I kind of just had to accept it. All of these women were intelligent, and aware of male violence, had vetted the men they were dating, and thought they were getting a good one. Literally making the same mistake as their mothers, over and over again, because they thought, “well, I checked him out! I dated him for years before we got married/had a kid! I lived with him, I know what he’s like! I looked for red flags!” not realizing that, yeah, so did lots of women.

But the problem is, we’re not talking to each other enough, so every woman is evaluating her relationship under the assumption that he will continue to act the same way he’s acting right then. Which makes sense, but doesn’t seem to be a good predictor of behavior in men. Every single woman would tell me, “oh, he turned out just like his dad, you have to look at the dad,” “it’s because he went to vietnam, I shouldn’t have married someone who went to war, “it’s because his mom did all the chores, you have to look at the mom,” “his parents were abusive, you have to marry a man who goes to therapy,” “i think he didn’t really want kids and was just going along with me, you have to make sure the guy suggests kids first,” and they were blaming themselves for not being able to see it - although, as far as I could tell, it was pretty universal.

And I had to accept that I was not smarter than them, I didn’t have any innate talent for reading people that they didn’t, there was no secret red flag, and I wasn’t going to do any better at vetting men than they did. I find it confusing, that men can put on a mask for years. I couldn’t do that, it would be literally impossible. But all my evidence suggests that many men are capable of this, and many women aren’t great at seeing through it. So why would I even bother? I don’t find it to be worth my time to invest in a relationship that has a countdown clock on it. I don’t want to put in the time to bond with a façade. I have like. real shit to do.

the “do you want to [thing they don’t want to do] right now, or in five minutes” method of getting a kid to do what you want genuinely hilarious, and very effective.

anyways, the two-party system is

My mom smoked weed with Vanilla Ice once. She was hanging out with friends at a hotel in florida and we’re heading up to the roof to smoke, when they ran into vanilla ice at the elevator. They argued for a bit if it was even him, until he confirmed it himself. They asked what the fuck he was doing in florida, he recently got into jetskis and boats n what not. He asked what they were doing, they told him and he was like “can i join?” He’s was apparently really cool to hang out with.

if you have one, tag with the "6 degrees of separation" you have with a celebrity

So imagine that the roads you drive on every day are filled with potholes that make commute unbearable. And imagine there are people with pickaxes who deliberately dig holes in the road. You're like isn't it awful that those potholes are there.

But then someone's like well some countries have mud roads, why complain. And another one's like the pickaxe wielders are only doing this because they're really sad and need a purpose in life. And another one's like those other drivers with big trucks don't feel anything so there really is no issue, buy shock absorbers. Another one's like actually the bumps in the road are comforting to me because they've been there my whole life, the roller coaster builds character.

Then the ones who do realise yeah there are holes in the road will talk about how bad it is but then they never bring up maybe stopping the pickaxers from digging the holes, or get some asphalt to fill them in, or build the roads better. And then when you do it's like whatttt that takes work. On second thought I feel bad for the pickaxers. Maybe we should start digging holes too, then we have control over where the holes are. Let's throw rocks at anyone who tries to stop them. And you feel like everyone else in the room is crazy and you're the only sane one, or vice versa, you can't tell anymore. That's what being a radical feminist feels like.

hades explaining that he’s the god of the dead, not the god of death

Broke: Barbie's many different careers are a way to sell dolls and accessories to little kids.

Woke: Barbie had every single one of those careers and is an immortal timeless being.

Bespoke: Barbie's different careers are different versions of Barbie from across the multiverse who occasionally swap place with each other or combine into one Barbie.

people who live in areas where there are native lizards should never take that for granted. you can just go outside and see a little guy hanging out. what’s better than that?

so if literally everyones biology is different, how do you even define a cis woman? if sex doesnt exist cis/trans people dont exist. sex and gender cannot match or mismatch if one doesnt exist

tbh it's tragic that cis women have the ability to choose to perform traditional femininity by reclaiming it, or choose to opt out of it entirely and they are Still accepted as women,

whereas trans women are Expected to pass and perform traditional femininity or they are at a greater risk of violence by cis people...

then they have the simpleminded audacity to say that trans women "mock" femininity AS IF they did not just scroll past the hundred thousandth cis woman's account done up in pink and frills, cute, girly, glittery, "traditionally feminine" content and somehow that's not mocking femininity. The gag is that Neither Side is mocking femininity, they both express their femininity in the way they feel it, but yall only see a problem when the woman is trans? your double standards are showing...