Tim: I’m A Seventeen Year Old CEO Of Course I Do Drugs Sometimes

Au where Bruce doesn't adopt Jason (because it never crosses his mind) but, after getting away with stealing Batman's tires and hitting him with a tire iron, Jason comes to the conclusion that B ain't shit and he can absolutely do more petty theft and mild inconveniences.

Batmobile is left unattended? The tires are gone. Batman drops a batarang/grapple gun? That's Jason's now. Batman tries to talk Jason into giving his stuff back? He clearly doesn't have them, you're crazy Bruce (the collection is visibly right behind him, he is literally holding a batarang as he says this).

Bruce tried to complain about it to Dick but he laughed so hard, he gave up. Dick thinks Jason is hilarious and after making sure he isn't dangerous helps him get into the manor. (Alfred won't say it out loud but he also clearly finds the kid funny so he let it happen)

Bruce eventually has a thought of "oh He's just looking for a family! I should adopt him!" And asks Jason if he wants to be officially adopted. Jay laughs in his face and throws a pillow at him. Bruce realises he was wrong.

He doesn't die, just goes out of town for a month or two to visit a friend and B immediately goes "all of my stuff is here wtf where'd Jay go?" and after looking around gotham he comes to the conclusion that he's dead. He tells Dick and Alfred that Jason died in an 'I'm absolutely certain' way so they assumed he double checked and didn't just overreact to a few weeks of absence.

Everyone was shocked next time he came to the manor (including Jason because he didn't think they'd care that much and didn't realize that B would assume he was dead) and it's just

"Jason?!? I thought you died!?"

"I was literally just at Roy's house?? Did you not think to check before assuming I died???"

Everyone is incredibly happy, Jason is just confused (and kind of flattered)

The other kids still show up, Tim came over to be B's fill in for Jason like a week before he came back and became a hero a few months after Jay came back. (They don't fight in this au because Jay didn't consider himself Bruce's son and neither of them were robin)

Damian is very concerned about the random dude that drops in and out of the manor (stealing random shit every time, from mugs and snacks to an entire TV) but B and Dick just go "nah he's basically family dw" like no that's our random theif.

Do you see my vision? I've been thinking about it for like an hour and finally decided to just post it. If this is a thing or if someone writes a fanfic or smth pls show me

I am crying laughing oh my god not what I was expecting to read but goddamn do I love it. She knows what she should've done and I can't! I love this

Old as shit skinny white woman in bed hooked up to 200 tubes and machines surrounded by her crying family, she looks up towards the eldest daughter and raises her frail hand. Everyone stops, listening raptly. She coughs twice and then clears her throat, and beckons the daughter closer. ‘i should’ve eaten her pussy. I should’ve rawed that roast beast like a rabid dog on its last legs. I would’ve made her bleed you know. She would’ve thought she came so hard that her period started. The squirt would’ve drowned me, but I’d swallow every last drop of rna so I could sequence it for the years to come. They’d have called me the krypt keeper. I would’ve chewed so hard her gynecologist would’ve woke up in the middle of the night sweating like a stuck pig. But I didn’t. That’s why I’m surrounded by you fucking bozos.’ With her final words she breaths her agonol breath and falls backwards before flatlining, leaving her family in the quiet hospice room stunned and teary eyed in the wake of her passing.

This ate

Headcanon that Batburger was sued when they added the Red Robin Meal to their menu.

In court it lead to the arguement that it was clearly not a violation of trademark since it was obviously named after the Gotham Vigilante, whose name was registered on several team roasters.

This leads to a massive lawsuit against Red Robin and any teams he’s on. Except it’s almost impossible to serve him papers.

Tim doesn’t find out until he’s dropping off Two Face at Arkham- where he’s served papers while waiting to get Harvey re-admitted.

He ends up taking Harvey’s legal advice. He wins the suit (After Two Face breaks out, specifically to represent him. The Red Robin Lawyers argue against this, but the judge simply says “what did you expect when you sued a vigilante?”), and when news gets out he changed his name to Drake a year later, Harvey breaks out just to threaten him if he doesn’t change it back.

ghost who responds to soaps “you’re being homophobic!” in public with a very fearful “baby i look straight don’t play these games”

Soap:"see! Isn't this fun?"

Ghost:"It's gay."

Soap:"we're gay."

Ghost:"I'm not this fucking gay."

[Image ID: The Destiel confession meme edited so that Dean answers 'There's a petition to ban conversion therapy in the EU' to Cas' 'I love you'. /End ID]

If you are a citizen in the EU please sign this petition:

eci.ec.europa.eu

European Citizens' Initiative

Give your support !

This is for everyone who says Dick has the right to hate Talia because she "kidnapped" him.

Dick: YOU LITERALLY KIDNAPPED ME

Talia *appalled*: No I did not! Where do you get off making such accusations?

Dick: I remember you kidnapping me

Talia: No. You remember my father kidnapping you to get Bruce's attention!

Dick: You were obviously in on it

Talia: No I wasn't!! I was in medical school at the time, I have better things to do with my time. You think I am involved in all my father's crazy schemes?

Dick: Well....

Talia: Well I am not! Did you see me when you were kidnapped Richard?

Dick: No....

Talia: Was I in any of the scenes you were kidnapped???

Dick: Well no..but

Talia: There are no buts!!!

For good luck

Can I hire them for when I need blood drawn? I'm not nervous or scared to get it down but I still want this service please I will give you all my money, hell take my house! Just please I want this so fucking bad😂

They’re distracting a nervous dog during a blood draw.