Choppedlambchops - Lamb Chops

I just think physical affection would fix me

Can I hire them for when I need blood drawn? I'm not nervous or scared to get it down but I still want this service please I will give you all my money, hell take my house! Just please I want this so fucking bad😂

They’re distracting a nervous dog during a blood draw.

therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula:

we do need to revisit the wording of "you can't have your cake and eat it too" because i don't think it clearly enough conveys that it's more that you can't simultaneously retain a cake and also get to consume it (which would render you cakeless). for years i was like But why not....it's my cake....?

Housekeepers and Janitors Need Praise As Unsung but Very Much Important

I can't explain how much I love baguette child. I would protect them with my life.

Second one is at exactly 25%

you're allowed to discuss and work together, reblog for a higher sample size or something

You have 1 week, good luck!

Ghost: Johnny asked me to be his fake date at the wedding of one of his sisters so he can avoid the usual “Are you seeing someone” question.

Gaz: I’ve read enough fanfiction to know how this ends.