Mmmm Rice.

My favourite fan theory about anything is "Gandalf fucked a hobbit once", as an explanation as to why he's so invested in them. Like several generations ago, purely by happenstance he just happened to encounter a fearless Took lass who decided to Fuck That Old Man and by the powers of supreme hobbit reproduction skills, the natural happens.

So Gandalf just goes "ah well fuck, gotta fix this", somehow makes sure she's arranged an excellent marriage, and pays her future husband a visit like "just a heads-up you're going to have an early, unexpectedly large and supremely excellent child and you are going to be nothing but loving and proud of your firstborn, or she is going to become a very rich young widow whose husband tragically died of a mysterious case of Killed By A Wizard, ok?"

And after that he's been visiting here and there to discreetly keep track of which ones are his descendants, and then after keeping track of all of them becomes too much work, decides to narrow down to the ones he's deemed to take after him (the ones the other hobbits think are weird, mostly) until deciding that Bilbo was his favourite. Probably has zero wizard blood in him by now and Gandalf doesn't even consider the hobbits he's been keeping tabs on as his offspring in any way anymore, it's basically a hobby to him by now.

So any time other Maiar or other immortal races notice him keeping an eye on the hobbits and ask him what's his deal with the halflings anyway, he just shrugs and goes "idk I just think they're neat."

Very important conversations happening in the party chat

Tortuga has a Monarch-red helmet Monarch has a Tortuga-grey visor

It's official™ Forbidden Romance. Their +1 tech attack is so they can send each other love letters through company firewalls.

i dont know if this has been posted before. i'm sure it has. but when i did a search for "jerma dick" and "dick jerma" and "ultraviolet dick jerma" i didnt get any results so i'm just gonna post it anyway

[x]

Replaying AC Black Flag and it is hilarious how in the early portions in the game, Edward just stumbles through things and bullshits his way to success having no idea wth people are going on about when they mention Templar's/Assassins an just nodding and going along with it all.

Black Flag really was just about how two ancient and powerful organisations were fucked over by one (1) drunk Welshman who just wanted a paycheck godbless-

Modern day Templar's and Assassins looking over the Edward Kenway memory footage and just being "Are you fucking kidding me? THIS guy!?", cause they cannot fathom the absurd amount of luck and audacity this drunk screw up had to pull so many fast ones on both their groups. Mostly by accident too cause he had no clue what he was stepping into and somehow ended up a legend.

that's just what being born in wales does to you

on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport the first person on the moon went there by accident and promptly died. The next dozen or so people also went by accident, and also died. Number 14 figured out that people who go to the moon die and very cleverly brought a sword and six weeks of travel rations. This did not help.

No one on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport ever figured out why people die in space because they don’t need airplanes and never found it particularly interesting to climb tall mountains. Astronomers use telescopes to take pictures of the ever-growing pile of corpses on the moon.

Imagining a Barbarossa handing it's briefcase to a size 1 mech and they're just teetering around trying to stay upright with the Comically Large Ammo Crate in their arms

Imagine paralyzing a Swallowtail by just gently placing a massive box of munitions on the main body and walking away.

Needless to say most 0.5 frames consider a gently-tossed ammo crate a deadly weapon.