“If I had found love sooner”
my dash right now:
oh yay boops! we love boops <3 THE VENGEANCE SAGA KILLED MY FIRST BORN. haha boops. get booped :3 "NEXT TO MY WIFE" AFHUEAOIEFEUAEOHIEAFHEIO. gonna boop all the mutuals! JORGE I'M COMING FOR YOU. boop boop boop. HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY THIS
concept:
supervillain × henchman with the twist that the supervillain is a sort of cartoon foppish dramatic gay villain with gonzo schemes and no bodycount. and the henchman is secretly a grimdark ultrapowerful Apex Predator supervilllain who came to Stake Out the competition. got mistaken for a henchman and found this so fucking funny hes just 100% committed to the bit.
hes carrying around boxes of fucking Acme Corporation sticks of dynamite. hes dressing in the matching stylish outfit. hes managing the other henchmen to execute gonzo schemes flawlessly. genuinely the most fun hes ever had in his life
his dumbass gay boss has literally no idea the lengths he is going to behind the scenes to make sure nobody interferes with any of this shit.
(apex supervillain, in his Supervillain Disguise. homoerotically and terrifyingly flirt/threatens flamboyant supervillain. smash cut to this poor man lying face down on a couch unpacking this with the very attentive henchman)
("hes going to eat me maybe????? but GOD that was the HOTTEST fucking thing thats ever happened to me. but i might DIE?? do u think he LIKES me...."
henchman: i think he does :3)
the ruse comes out when someone who the apex supervillain didnt catch comes to ACTUALLY challenge/harm his gay boss in public and apex supervillain is like. yeah no we're not doing this. time for the power of unfathomable violence.
gay supervillain promptly has a FULL MELTDOWN. oh my god the blood. and also. "you LIED TO ME???"
apex supervillain, apologetically: "I was waiting to see if you'd ever figure it out yourself. And the longer it went the funnier it got."
gay supervillain: "I TRUSTED you!! you were my BEST HENCHMAN"
apex supervillain: aw. past tense?