Coffeefiction - *+:｡.｡Coffee.Fiction｡.｡:+*

No sense here - just baby in shawl

(what if Tarantulas could knit lol)

Extra:

Tarantulas definitely knits :D

aHhh okay so the discussions of Titan!Megatron on @callsign-relic's blog have fully. FULLY taken over my brain and ive been drawing stuff for it for like the last few days nonstop

the tl;dr of this is AU is pretty much "what if Megatron got turned into a titan/cityformer as a form of penance/imprisonment and now roams the empty wasteland of Cybertron forever" plus "IDW Megatron has really fucked up internals so... what if that, but as a City?"

and of course since he's a Titan, that also means he has a cityspeaker... or three. One per sub-AU thing. Theres 3 options. 3 flavours of AU.

i have so much art to make. but in the meantime, for more info! check out the #titan au tag on Relic's blog :]!! (also uhh potential ns//fw warning for the link shfjbdkd)

Hi. My battery is running out once again so design and art notes get chucked here instead of an image.

The cuffs and collar are hardwired into Megatron, so I made the lights the same colour as his biolights!

I imagine that on the tops of his shoulders there are solar panels, even if you can't see them here lol.

I really wanted to keep the swirly bits on Megatron's chest from IDW

Other art notes:

The second picture with the seekers is (loosely) inspired by a discussion about whether or not Megatron gets visitors or not. I thought about who would visit him and well... I think this is as close as Starscream realistically gets to visiting him.

Extra detail about that piece is that Thundercracker and Skywarp are keeping watch from above! Also drawing Megatron took me like 8 hours because I was struggling with his legs really badly kshffkbfkdsbdk,, the background went much faster, funnily enough.

Optimus specifically isn't wearing his Autobot badge any more.

This isn't relevant in this series of images, but Ultra Magnus's eye markings are only on the Magnus armour. His other two forms do not have them :] (... until he begins to discard the armour, that is.)

Megatron is roughly 3200m/2 miles tall. Technically he could have clouds around his knees, but I thought this looked a little bit cooler lol.

Also, height chart! Him big. I didn't even attempt to put a human for scale because that'd be. near impossible with this scale.

Here's more incorrect qoutes for @keferon mecha Au to fuel everyone's angsty soul.

First Aid: Can you come out?

Blurr: Yeah sure, give me a sec..

Blurr: First Aid, I'm gay

First: *visible twitching* I already know that, come out to the car

Blurr: oh..ok

Blurr: Swerve I'm gay

Swerve who is currently on his alt mode: We are literally dating!

________________

Prowl; You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you all even get here so fast?

Jazz: Several traffic lights

Swerve: Three counts of resisting arrest, one for each of us

Blurr: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks

Jazz: and that is not our car.

Deadlock who is the car: Hey Prowl

Prowl: what the frag?!

__________________

Rodimus: Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying?

First Aid: Damn, if people did that to each other, Vortex would've killed everyone years ago.

__________________

Someone holding a gun to First Aid's head; what happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?

First Aid: Bold of you to assume I'll go to heaven.

_________________

Jazz: you know, Prowl, when you generalize, you tell general...lies.

Prowl: ......

Prowl: Are you trying to teach me moral lesson through puns?

________________

Swerve to Blurr: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Jazz from the kitchen: would you like to stay forever!?!

_________________

Jazz: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am

Swerve first time driving an actual car: I know I should be more focus on the fact you just came out, but HOW FUCKING DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING

_________________

Swerve: *Sneaking around the facility trying to get to Blurr*

First Aid from the distance who's high on the shit Pharma gaved him: *Watching Swerve phase through a wall* There goes my monthly does of Swerve

_______________

Prowl: Are you crying?

Jazz, try to cut onions: No, it's just the onion, they-

Prowl grabbing the Onion with force: What the frag did you say to Jazz?

Sneak peak for " Falling For You Again Cause Why Not?" (the title might change-)

You know, sometimes I wanna just crash the f out. I have this fanfic idea of Jazz and Prowl stored in my head and I was finally able to write it! BUT now, I have to start with the fill ins first before I even jump onto the very moment I wanna write so badddd

anyway, have a sneak peak ig-

I aint dropping which chapters these guys are, cause I have been struggling for hoursssss, why can't I just write the actually moment?? why do I have to suffer???

I desperately need to know how world/ environment works-

Maybe proper characterization too-

I fear I won't be able to finish this-

Optimus; *coughs*

Rachet: *already dragging him away to the medbay* alright, time for a check up— first aid, get the sedatives

Optimus: wait w ait wait wait—Rachet—no no wait—

Jazz: oh Primus, poor him, I hope you get better boss bot!—Elita bring out those datapads and information we brought from the last expedition

Elita: *already pulling up said datapads and information* should we blackmail Starscream again or Soundwave?

Prowl: Blackmail Starscream, he's too much of a coward.

Ironhide:*walking in the room* we should castrate Megatron

Prowl: That's....hmmmm

Jazz: I'm going to go get the chainsaw

Mirage:*walking in* Did you all know Megatron watches those pony tv shows—

Prowl: *already putting that down and using that has battle tactics* huh? Oh, yes, definitely.

Elita: yep, one of the files here has that one— what if we just blackmail him, we need some energon anyway—

Ironhide; we should just take him out at this point, I'm getting tired of seeing his ugly Faceplate.

Ultra Magnus; *walks in, sees the Chaos and walks out* not getting payed enough for this

Smokescreen: I don't think anyone is getting payed at all.

All I imagine is that Optimus very much tries very hard not to be out of commission cause he knows his mech, he know that left unchecked, they could throw all morals out the window and fight the decepticons feral style without a care.

It probably wouldn't even be the first time they blackmail someone, they probably make mechas cry in their free time if given the chance.

I have a feeling the only sane mech is Ultra Magnus but that is probably stretching it—probably.

"Optimus doesn't take time off because he's too self sacrificing"

Wrong!

Optimus can't take time off because he knows the second he isn't white knuckling the riens, Elita-One, Ironhide, Jazz, and Prowl are going scorched Earth on the Decepticons. It will end the war but it may also classify as a total annihilation.

Optimus, sleeping slightly deeper than he usually would: 😴

Prowl: Optimus is out of commission, I am now in charge. Elita, break out those plans we told him we didn't make, Ironhide, ready the acid bombs, Jazz, grab us a jet. We're ending this war tonight.

Elita "the ends can justify the means" One: You know, I don't think we've properly considered the elegance of germ warfare. We wouldn't even have to get our hands dirty.

Ironhide "I'm just showing him my cannons" the Weapons expert: That'll take too long. Nukes, that's the best way to go.

Jazz "I lead the most lethal fighters on this team" the Spy: We've got one shot, I can sneak in and stash some explosives in their barracks, they'll never catch me. Blow their whole base sky high.

Optimus, waking up in just the nick of time: I am begging you to stand down!

Ironhide: Told you we should have slipped a sedative in his high grade.

~~~~

Optimus, literally fighting to get out of the Medbay: You don't understand! They're plotting!

Ratchet: You have a broken leg and a head injury, sit your ass down!!

First Aid, who's been secretly trying to help the four of them end this thing: I'll grab a sedative. He may need a week of bedrest.

Meanwhile

Elita-one: Now, I did some research and did you know that half of our war crimes aren't considered war crimes on this planet?

Jazz: Fascinating. What a creative group.

Prowl: Indeed. And Optimus does want us abiding by the laws of this planet.

Ironhide, nodding along: He does.

Prowl: Whelp! Gotta follow orders obey the laws of this planet. It's not a war crime here, Jazz, get the rust bombs.

Okay so like. IMAGINE it starts pretty usual. Swerve hangs out in the Aquarium for whatever job related reason and accidentally makes friends with the weird looking fish hahah

But then the big Tsunami-flood apocalypse comes and everything is destroyed and water everywhere and all the buildings turn into sharp heavy deadly rubble and now Swerve has to team up with that weird looking fish because the end of the world contains A LOT of water and he never was a good swimmer

Prime apprentice AU! (primeprentice? idk)

Basically the Thirteen are still alive and they take in apprentices to train for potential Primacy.

Prima Prime → Orion Pax

Megatronous Prime → D-16

The backdrops of Cybertron. All from Transformers RID #33.

The Mech Pilot Au by @keferon has me on a chokehold, so, I'mma procrastinate from writing an actual fic by just writing down incorrect quotes instead-

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Swerve: We’ve found the person who stole your identity and was impersonating you.

Blur: Where were they?

Swerve: Eating cheetos and crying in their car.

Blur, impessed: Damn, they really went for it.

-----------------

Jazz: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for methaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!

-------------------

Prowl: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

Jazz: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.

Prowl, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

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Blur: Why cant trees give off something important like wifi??

First Aid: So fuck oxygen, I guess.

-------------------

Prowl: Vortex isn’t answering my messages.

First Aid: Allow me.

Prowl: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-

Vortex: *replying to message* Hello.

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*First Aid and Jazz enter a dive bar*

First Aid: Look, I know you’re disappointed but could we at least have a drink.

Jazz, in a scuba diving suit: I would like leave, please.

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Blurr: Here is my wall of inspirational people. Swerve: Is that a picture of you? Blurr: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

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First Aid: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.

Vortex: *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is!

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Vortex: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass.

First Aid: YOUR MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL!

Vortex: …Your point?

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Jazz: First Aid is restricted to decaf for the rest of this adventure.

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Jazz: I told Swerve to grab snacks for everyone.

Blurr, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?

*Jazz, First Aid, and Swerve raise their hands*

*Vortext from the distance,also raising his hand*

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Jazz: I think we should have glow stick juice injected in our bones when we're born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise.

Vortex: What's the surprise?

First Aid: Blood poisoning.

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Vortex: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

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Swerve: Why would anyone want to harm Blurr?

Vortex: Maybe because they met him?

*opens the window* *gets out*