I Know That I'm A Very Small Blog And Therefore This Will Probably Not Reach Many People, And Even Less

I know that I'm a very small blog and therefore this will probably not reach many people, and even less those who need it the most, but I wanna say it anyway.

It's generally seen as a bad thing when someone "can't decide" what their orientation, be it sexual or romantic, is. Other people, both straight and members of the LGBTQA+ community, tend to label these people as "fake" and "attention seeking snowflakes". And it might be true that some of them are like that, and they are assholes for turning being LGBTQA+ into something... meaningless. But the majority of us, we just don't know the terminology, we're just finding it out as we grow and realising some terms fit us better than the ones we thought before.

When I first came out, I genuinely thought I was bisexual. I only knew the most "basic" sexualities. About a year passed and I discovered there was something called pansexuality, and as I read into it, I realised the description fit me much better than bisexuality. Around the same, however, I started realising that it still wasn't as simple. Off I went, not really thinking about it, but looking around to find out more. That's when I discovered the Ace spectrum, and the difference between sexual and romantic orientation. I chose the term demisexual and turned pansexual into panromantic, thinking that was it. Oh, but it wasn't, although it was very very close. Some months later, I stumbled upon an Instagram account that explained the different types of asexuality. And there was one that caught my eye - Gray-A. Similar to demisexuality, but not the same. That's where I'm at now. Panromantic Gray-A. But who knows, maybe as time passes, I'll find an even better suiting term.

What I'm trying to say is, orientations are incredibly complex. And only now are we finding words to describe them. Of course some people will need more time to figure themselves out, trying out different names. I don't see a single reason to shame us for not being sure about ourselves. After all, this kind of thing is the business of only the person it's about. It's no different then figuring out what your dream career is. You might try being a tour guide, a barista, an IT person, only to realise that all you ever wanted was to be an artist. And no one will shame you for trying out different things, they will usually praise you.

If you are struggling to find yourself a label, it's okay. You might not find it now simply because it doesn't exist yet. And that's. Totally fine.

And to you, who put us down: leave us the fuck alone.