G'morning all! Its nice to get back things,. Theres been some roadblocks with med shortages and life, and also with the material for these recipes. So far we've covered a lot of pastries, not because theyre mentioned more often in the series, but because being mentioned lends them more specificity in flavor than things like gravy, peas, or various meats. The latter can be prepped, seasoned, and served in so many different ways that it feels harder to make them 'faithfully' because a packet of instant potato mash is just as faithful as a pot of buttered potato mash. Baked goods tend towards 1, maybe 2, 'base' recipes that get altered and added to.
Today, we'll be making Beorn's Honey Cakes! A dish from one of my partners favorite characters- a delectable little treat befitting the… warm personality of the character.
(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)
SO, “what goes in to Beorn's Honey Cakes?” YOU MIGHT ASKSimple stuff! Simple sweet stuff!
All-purpose flour
Baking powder
Salt
Ground nutmeg
Unsalted butter
Whole milk
2 eggs
Honey
Vanilla extract
The veins of honey cakes ancestry can be traced back to any moment where people began baking bread. Honey is a natural preservative, and sweeter still on its lonesome.
AND, “what does Beorn's Honey Cakes taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKLike your aching muscles repairing themselves
Tastes like a honey graham cracker
But the texture is softer, wetter- somewhat like banana bread
Oh, and this will make your house smell So So Good
If you can resist the temptation of eating them immediately, they taste even richer the day after baking
Would pair well with milk green tea
Would also pair well with fresh orange slices (or those chocolate 'orange slices' candy)
Genuinely don't forget to flip them upside down when they go to bake the second time, not sure what it is but i was curious and did a test where i flipped half of the batch upside down and kept the other half of the batch right-side up like they cooked in the muffin tin. The ones i flipped upside down universally had a more consistent texture and the honey was able to permeate further.
.where honey called for, used clover honey
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From start to finish this recipe takes about an hour of work, give or take some negligible time for prep.
The batter is perhaps the babybird of all cake batters. The gloopy, protruding crumbs of butter, not unlike a squabs beady pupils visibly dark under its skin, break up the mass of sickly smooth and reassuringly sweet-smelling oak-colored liquid. You can feel the confusion of bees outside your home, wondering if this your attempt at making royal jelly.
Just like a babybird, it becomes more than the sum of its parts. Layer on that honey drizzle, layer it on thick, theres no risk of drowning subtle flavors. Its crisp edges will keep its form, springy and warm, inviting you as if you're not the one who crafted it (food you didn't cook always tastes better). The bees are sooooooooooooooo jealous of your opposable thumbs and muscular strength.
If you dont have eggs you could try substituting with apple mash. I can't vouch for it in this recipe but replacing eggs with mashed up apples for pancakes gives it adds a nice fruity flavor without changing the texture, and in theory should work here as well.
I give this recipe a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.)
270 grams all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp freshly ground nutmeg
1 stick unsalted butter
160 grams milk
2 eggs
110 grams your favorite honey
1 tsp vanilla extract
Muffin tray and parchment paper
Preheat oven to 350f
In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt, and nutmeg.
Add the butter and rub it into the flour with your fingers until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.
In a small bowl beat the eggs until just combined. Pour in milk and then vanilla extract while stirring. Keep stirring vigorously while slowly pouring in honey.
Stir until the mixture is consistent in color.
Pour the liquids over the dry mixture and stir until just combined.
Pour the batter into a greased muffin tray, don't use any muffin paper/lining/cups.
Bake for 16 minutes, or until they reach their full height.
Carefully remove from the muffin pan and place the muffins upside down on a parchment lined tray.
Using a silicone pastry brush, generously cover the tops of the cakes with honey. Allow to sit for about 5 minutes to let the honey soak into the cakes.
Bake for an additional 8-10 minutes, or until the cakes are golden brown.
Remove from the oven and allow to cool.
I I love alcohol mmmm yummy
The medical system is a failure. If I get prescribed Tylenol or fucking liquid laxatives one more time I might actually break.
On top of that, I can’t get in to see a GI for another month, and that is a fucking video call. I feel like doctors just don’t care about the pain I’m going through and just push it off as something “not serious” even though I am writhing in pain almost on the daily. Which is weird because every nurse I’ve talked to has been kind and concerned because they actually spend more than 5 total minutes in the room with me at a time.
2024
IF IT NO LONGER SERVES YOU, LEAVE
SAY WHAT YOU MEAN
ALL IS NOT AS IT APPEARS
DO NOT EQUATE TEMPERANCE WITH INACTION
THE WORLD IS ABUNDANT
YOU ARE CAPABLE OF BOTH GREAT HORROR AND GREAT KINDNESS TOO
THERE IS BEAUTY AND HOPE IN ALL COMPASSION
THIS IS NOT YOUR GRAVE
GET THE FUCK UP
Could you just RB this?
The little RB statistics chart is so pleasant and stimmy to look at and I want to see what it looks like when it gets really REALLY huge because it makes me think of some deep sea lifeform
Tons more at the source!
Happy new years my sweethearts, may your favourite fandoms gain new life and your spirituality whatever it may be, be fulfilled
updated version
cleanse your jar
gather your ingredients
charge and program them, and then add them to the jar
close and seal with wax, ribbon, string, etc. to finalize and cast the spell
decorate your jar however you'd like, or not at all - up to you
tiny glass jars with cork lids
mason jars
pickle/pasta sauce jars
old medication bottles
food storage containers
bead storage tubes
dried herbs
dried citrus peels
dried flowers
magical powders
small crystals
gem chips
essential oils (a drop or two will go a long way)
infused oils (carrier oils such as olive or grapeseed oil that have been infused with herbs)
a few drops of charged water (storm water, war water, sea water, holy water, rain water, moon water, sun water, etc.)
paper (with sigils/symbols/glyphs drawn on it, an incantation, a name, a phrase, etc.)
coins
beads
glitter or confetti
seashells/shark teeth/sand, etc.
leaves/acorns/sticks/bark/moss
animal fur, nail clippings, teeth, or whiskers that have fallen out naturally (if i catch you trying to pull out your pet's whiskers or fur, i will fight you)
nails, glass, pins, needles, thorns, and other sharp objects (great for cursing, binding, banishing, or protection)
vinegar, lemon juice, pickle juice (mostly for “souring” a situation)
honey, sugar, syrup (to “sweeten” a situation or for attraction)
pretty much anything that fits and corresponds to your intent
unless your intent correlates with the contents of the jar spoiling or going bad - don't use anything biological in nature (think bodily fluids), don't use fresh produce or herbs, and be mindful of water content inside the jar. you don't want a moldy, biohazardous mess on your hands (unless you do, then that's cool, too).
containing your spell, theoretically making it easier to manipulate and control
manifesting goals/intentions continuously or over time
passive manifestation that doesn’t require much ongoing participation from the caster but is subject to regular maintenance
keep it on your altar
keep it in an area that's appropriate for goal manifestation (for glamours, keep it in the bathroom; for sleep or dreams, keep it in the bedroom; for safe travels, keep it in your vehicle; for cursing, keep it concealed in a black box; etc.)
wear it as jewelry
put it in your pocket, purse, or backpack
bury it in your backyard or within a potted plant outside (for spells you don’t plan to undo or want to last indefinitely) - if burying is not an option, hide it somewhere on your property
leave it at a crossroads
shake it up
light a candle on top of or next to it
submerge it in a bath of herbs or crystals that are associated with energy
submerge or surround with sea salt (a natural conductor of energy)
anoint with oil/blessed or charged water
pair with a tarot card or rune stone that matches your intent
suffumigate with incense smoke
energy work and visualization
remove the contents from the jar and either destroy them, bury them, or throw them away
for items you wish to save, cleanse them thoroughly before using them again
take the jar and cleanse it in whatever manner you choose and either save it to be reused; or dispose of it safely
© 2025 ad-caelestia
Hi! Y’all can call me Jules and I’m 18, I’m a little freak and will not be normal about anything ever, I also WILL BITE YOU (lovingly). I use she/her pronouns.
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