The Fic Where Hong-er Is A Human Sacrifice

Ok, but listen.

Jiang Cheng, in nothing but his inner robes, gunning it barefoot down the walkaways of Lotus Pier, because his beloved nephew (age four) decided to escape his bed and climb into an unsecured boat that is now being pushed by wind into the lake, much to Jin Ling's wailing dismay.

JC didn't even think to use Sandu, just launched himself full-tilt from the end of the pier with sheer physical brass of knowing he can eat that twenty metres...

A few minutes later, he was rowing the boat back with one arm, the other full of a wailing nephew, adrenaline finally settling down.

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mock film poster featuring foxxian, dragonji, and baby a-yuan! this was so fun

complicated feelings on jiang fengmian aside, i think the reason i don’t buy into the whole “jfm favoured wei wuxian much more than his son” and tend to agree with wwx’s words to jc that of course jfm would be more stern with jc because jc’s his son is because—my asian parenting experience has been somewhat the same (and i actually think this might be a bit of a universal experience regardless), not in the exact way mxtx portrays this relationship but in that my parents and parents of every single person i have ever known (mostly; there are always a few exceptions) show this pattern of being sweet and cordial and generally non-disciplinary towards kids who aren’t their own and being way stricter and more stern with their own children because they are the ones they are parenting. there’s almost this mutually known boundary that you don’t go and yell at another’s kid to correct bad behaviour, rather the impetus of imparting important values and lessons is reserved as your right for your own kids. that’s how i’ve always read jiang fengmian’s dynamic with wei wuxian vs jiang cheng. he was stern with jc because that’s his son and heir, someone he cares for very deeply. on the other hand, he does care for wei wuxian as well but he has never crossed that mental boundary from uncle to father figure in his head and his interactions with wei wuxian have never read as paternal or favourably partial over jc to me.

Oh. This is solid Gold.!

You guys don't understand Lan Qiren like I do okay. It's the 50s. Your nephew Lan Wangji wears stupid glasses and has unfashionable hair. He's a total nerd, probably going to valedictorian of his high-school like his brother was. Enter Wei Wuxian. Your sweet innocent child is going on a DATE with this man who has a cigarette in his mouth and a gaudy leather jacket and a motorbike and flirty fuckboy words and Lan wangji hops onto it drunk on the idea of being a good girl in love with a bad boy

You try to tell him, there's plenty of other boys!! It doesn't have to be Wei wuxian!! But turns out there aren't actually that many other boys. Nie Huaisang is even worse than Wei Wuxian in terms of being bad (he's spent the last decade plotting a murder??) and when you try to set Wangji up with Jiang Cheng they just suicide bait each other all evening.

Eventually you cut your losses and realize whatever. As long as my nephew is happy. Wei Wuxian moves in and you listen to his screaming at night and realize oh God. Lan Wangji is the horny bad boy.

wangxian au where wei wuxian keeps getting kidnapped cause people think he's powerless and depends on lwj for everything. kidnappers always think "well if he's so strong, why is he always trying to hide behind hgj??"

and like, wwx COULD easily free himself. but why would he? they aren't a real threat and above all, he LOVES to see his beloved hanguang-jun annihilate any threat that steps towards him

and lan wangji is never really worried. everyone always doubts wwx, writes off his abilities because he can't possible be "that strong." he knows wwx could handle, really, any situation.

but why should he have to?

wwx has been "handling" situations non stop his whole life. as far as lwj is concerned he shouldn't have to lift a finger anymore

I love this soo much. I saw it once and now it's ingrained in my brain. It is soo soothing to watch, this man is like, just so happy in this.

Soulmates AU wangxian where their skins reflect. So Lwj has all of Wwx' scars (bite marks from dogs, belt scars from Madam Yu, a surgery from when JC needed a kidney, a burn mark on his chest, etc) and Wwx has... Nothing. Because they have the same callouses from sports and bruises from training but Lwj has no scars nor does he write on himself or accidentally gets ink on his hands. So Wwx thinks he has no soulmate, because even when he writes things to him (Hi! How are you?? WHO are you?? Are you well??? Are you there????) he gets no reply. Lwj does see it, he just knows his parents were soulmates and their relationship was fucked up, and that his uncle's soulmate didn't want him, and that his brother's relationship with his soulmate is stranged because he likes someone else. So he doesn't want a soulmate at all.

Anyways. Shit happens in Wwx's life, he hits rock bottom and starts getting tattoos. Why not? It's not like he's saddling anyone with them.

Cue Lwj watching ink accumulate on his skin while he's working a CORPORATE JOB. His uncle thinks it unprofessional and they are creeping towards the neck and hands.

So he writes to his soulmate to please stop.

His soulmate: so you DO exist uh.

Lwj: I do not want a soulmate. Or tattoos. Please refrain from getting any more and from trying to contact me.

Wwx: ...

Wwx: okay.

Thirteen years later Lan Wanji falls in love with the gorgeous Biomedical Engineer working at his company, Wei Wuxian, and is doing his best to approach this man who has been so very obviously mistreated (Wwx is on his YLZ era with others). They get closer little by little. And then one day they are on a date and Wwx rolls up his sleeves and Lwj comes face to face with a lotus flower sleeve he knows intimately well.

Cue angst.

Lan Wangji: Why can't I have a morally questionable boyfriend when you do?

Lan Xichen: A-Yao isn't morally questionable!!

Lan Wangji: He's literally dragging his sworn brother's corpse right now

Lan Xichen, noticing Jin Guangyao: A-Yao, did you kill da-ge?

Jin Guangyao, dragging Nie Mingjue's corpse: Of course not er-ge, he's just sleeping

Lan Xichen: See Wangji, he's just sleeping

Lan Wangji: ( ,,⩌'︿'⩌,,)

Nie Mingjue: *in a tiff* And where were YOU when Huaisang wasn’t in saber practice today?

Meng Yao: *annoyed with Huaisang and Mingjue having the same argument for the 18th time this week and doesn’t wanna get put in the middle* Getting scolded by sword captain for being ‘too pretty to be seen outside your chambers’.

Huaisang: It’s true, Da-Ge, he was being gross again!

Mingjue: You saw it?

Huaisang: Yes.

Mingjue: And you did NOTHING?

Huaisang: Well, I was hiding from saber master, who had A-Yao and Sword Captain in his eyesight at the moment. I couldn’t leave the alcove. I was trapped!

Mingjue: You are both little bastards that need to speak up more often. Both of you go get ready for bed, I’ll be in there to tuck you in soon.

Meng Yao: I’m sleeping in A-Sang’s room?

Huaisang: Yes. Until Da-Ge kills sword captain, at least.

Meng Yao: …what? *didn’t think Mingjue would actually do anything about the man being an ass to him* …what?!?

Huaisang: Yeah. It’s okay, you can come with me to saber practice tomorrow. I’ll comb your hair and you can wear my sleep robes tonight. *pulls him out of the room with their hands together*

Meng Yao: *rewriting his 20 year plan to take over the world to instead be a kept didi by nice Nie brothers* hmm :/