"And Then He Said, You Like Mian Mian, Right? Urgh!"

the world of pidw is malfunctioning. wives already wed are not triggering their wife plots, and the story is suffering!

to fix the issue, the system has grabbed the soul of shen yuan to act as wife plot enacter. he must now set in motion the wife plots for every wife who does not stumble onto it by herself, as well as keep the timeline on track.

luo binghe thinks there’s a weird meddling kidnapper with access to aphrodisiac plants who’s jealous of either him, or his harem. he genuinely can’t tell. the man, who he’s never seen but had been described as kind, beautiful and gentle, was either too kindhearted to hurt any of his wives or a malicious spirit. some of the wives even come back with gifts. as apology? enticement? luo binghe doesn’t know. some wives even want to go back, while others ask the emperor for leniency. he’s yet to manage to catch this mysterious man.

the system has applied a special tag to npc shen yuan’s character profile: “protagonist halo’s blindspot”, which allows him to evade every attempt at being discovered by the protagonist while active! it’s really quite helpful.

eventually luo binghe figures out some kind of pattern to the whole thing (airplane had a system) and, disguised as the wife in “danger”, he allows himself to be kindapped and taken to a modest but warm home where he’s shown to “his” room and told to wait by the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. he’s given books and food, and assured no one will bother him until the emperor shows up.

when luo binghe doesn’t show up to save the wife, shen yuan begins feeling bad for keeping her cooped up and starts keeping her company. they talk, play table games, she cooks for him when he proves hopeless in the kitchen. shen yuan feels horrible: where is binghe? this beauty is waiting to be saved, and he’s nowhere to be seen! and she’s so cool, too! very powerful cultivator! why would binghe not want to save her? he’s left the appropriate amount of clues! also, where’s the system?! the damn thing announced it was enacting “final wife plot protocol” and then fucked off!!! shen yuan was so close to freedom!!!!!!!!

and that’s the story of how luo binghe found his empress

it is actually so difficult to insult a guy like wei wuxian because even below-the-belt insults make nary a dent on him. people can call him names, disparage him, ruin his reputation, but his self-image is NOT affected by it. he knows himself and his values. there is a way to get a rise out of him but that usually involves insulting the people he cares deeply about (jiang yanli, lan wangji for example) instead of himself (which is not about having a low self-esteem but having his own boundaries and principles, mind you), but try to spew out hate and he will laugh directly in your face before moving on. someone might be like, “oh, you’re fengmian’s bastard child—” and wei wuxian will just go, “aHhahhahHAHA, nice one. have a good day!” or someone might say, “you’re a filthy, no-good demonic cultivator,” and he’ll just go, “now, filthy is a stretch. i take great pride in my personal hygiene!” come at him with your wittiest or your most ruthless insult and he will summarily dismantle it before disregarding your opinion entirely. which i think is just another piece of wei wuxian’s mindset that actually allowed him to stand before the cultivation mob and make a stance—he’s always been one to think for himself and not let others and their words colour his perception of wrong and right, possible and impossible, good and evil, especially when it came to him and his actions. to hell with their narrow-minded judgements, wei wuxian knew where he stood and why he stood there.

today i learnt that chinese national figure skaters wang shiyu and liu xinyu onced skated to wuji and they even dressed like wangxian!! it’s so stunning it should be illegal. you can watch them here

I am in love with the idea of Hua Cheng being intrinsically connected to Ghost City in such a way that he can subconsciously manipulate it.

Ghost City’s streets are winding and confusing, but when Hua Chengzhu walks through his territory, the streets straighten themselves out, creating a clear path for him. Strangely enough, Hua Cheng doesn’t realize this until Yin Yu meekly asks for directions to a certain location in Ghost City, still settling into his new position as a servant to a Ghost King. Hua Cheng, annoyed, snappishly tells him that it’s literally down the street and four buildings down, and that if Yin Yu couldn’t find it, then he was too blind to manage the administrative areas of his city. Yin Yu, confused and intimidated, shakily tells Hua Cheng that there are no roads or buildings in the vicinity of Paradise Manor, and that when the street does start, it winds in three different directions. Hua Cheng gives him an incredulous look and tells him to just do as he’s ordered. Yin Yu walks away defeated.

Hua Cheng secluding himself when the isolation of searching for a forgotten god creeps up on him. Ghost City, used to their lord disappearing in irregular intervals, doesn’t find it strange when no one has seen Hua Chengzhu for several days. Panic starts to set in, however, when dark clouds gather above the city and a torrent of blood rain falls from the sky like a bad omen. The ghosts become frantic, believing it to be an ominous sign that they had displeased their lord. Hua Cheng, who had locked himself in his room in Paradise Manor, weeps his despair and desperation into silky, crimson pillows to the sound of rain for three days straight. He never realized that he nearly caused a flood of blood in his own city. In fact, Yin Yu, who had taken up the responsibility of cleaning up the city, wisely chooses to say nothing on the matter when Hua Cheng eyes his blood soaked robes with a questioning glance. This happens rarely over the course of the next eight centuries, but it occurs often enough for the denizens of Ghost City to stop panicking when it happens. They call it ‘the crimson torment’ and have learned to be especially nice to their lord in the following days. Miraculously, the blood rain stops after Xie Lian shows up, and Ghost City is eternally grateful. Xie Lian learns about ‘the crimson torment’ before Hua Cheng does, hearing about it from a group of gossiping ghosts. But when Xie Lian asks Hua Cheng about it, concerned for his husband, Hua Cheng tells him that he was never aware that such a thing even happened.

Hua Cheng mindlessly sending out an attack towards a trouble making ghost in Ghost City. The attack is restrained and certainly not as powerful as it could be, but it sends the ghost flying into a wall anyways. Normally, that would be that, but Hua Cheng was particularly frustrated that day. The echoes of the ghost’s wailing pierces his mind and worsens an already bad headache. Xie Lian, who’s standing off to the side, hurriedly walks toward Hua Cheng and gently guides him away. Hua Cheng goes willingly and complacently, as he always will for his beloved husband. That doesn’t stop the murderous thoughts brewing in his head, though, and before he knows it, there is a slight rumble beneath his feet. His thoughts spiral out of control and he doesn’t notice the Earth quaking beneath him until the buildings and stalls around him collapse. It’s the first time that Hua Cheng is forced to acknowledge the subconscious control that he holds over Ghost City and that moment secretly mortifies him.

When did WWX fall in love--before he died, or after he was resurrected?

I propose a third option: both are true.

I'm very firmly in the camp of WWX being head over heels pretty much right from the start, but that ignores a lot of the emotional growth between the two of them after his resurrection. On the other hand, calling that growth "falling in love" ignores his obvious feelings right from the start, and also just doesn't seem like what's going on. His thoughts and feelings about LWJ don't really change all that much.

But here's what does change: WWX starts thinking about himself.

He starts putting himself and his needs into the equation. He goes from seeing LWJ as a trustworthy and good paragon of virtue to seeing him as someone he personally trusts. From objectively the most handsome person in existence to someone he personally really wants to sleep with finds handsome.

So it's not that he fell in love after resurrection--he loved LWJ right from the start--but also he did fall in love after resurrection, because that's when he started thinking about LWJ as someone he could be with. Not that he didn't want to be with him before; instead, he didn't have a concept of personally wanting (being able to want, being allowed to want, being allowed to have) anyone at all.

Aftercare

A little something inspired by my brainrotting with @curbstompthestars ♥️

Lan Xichen: Uncle, you seem almost...wistful lately.

Lan Qiren: It's nothing very important. I've received some insight that has reminded me of the happier moments of my youth.

Lan Xichen: Oh? May I ask what caused this?

Lan Qiren: As you're not doubt aware, Wei Wuxian harbors so level of affection for Wangji.

Lan Xichen: Yes. Although I must admit I thought that would aggravate you.

Lan Qiren: It did. It still does to an extent. But a few days ago, I witnessed that horrible boy walk into a wall because he was looking at Wangji and not where he was walking. It reminded me of how Wei Changze acted when he first fell in love with Cangse Sanren.

Lan Xichen: Really?

Lan Qiren: Yes. In short, the guest students this year show promise, the weather has been mild, and a Wei is pathetically in love. So I'm feeling a little nostalgic

Wangxian plot bunny I may or may not write, but I encourage people to write as well 🫡

Wei Wuxian: I have an excellent idea for people to leave us alone.

Wen Qing: oh boy...

Wei Wuxian: don't you wanna know what I got?

Wen Qing: stupider?

Wei Wuxian: booo! Anyway. I'm gonna send this message at the Great Sects and they'll be so disgusted they'll leave us alone!

Wen Qing: "if you want to keep the Yilling Laozu from doing horrible, ghost cultivation, then send someone as a sacrifice to have nasty, disrespectful sex with him. Those who exceed his expectations will gain everything he owns".

Wei Wuxian: See? 100% guarantie of success! Nobody will take the offer and if they do, I just say it wasn't good enough! Win-win for me!

Wen Qing: so you got stupider. Alright. Scrape that idea

Wei Wuxian:...

Wen Qing: what. Did. You do.

Wei Wuxian: I already sent it to the major sects...

Wen Qing: I swear tO GOD!!

Meanwhile, at the big sects:

At Yunmeng jiang: the message was ripped apart by Jiang Cheng because he knows Wei Wuxian 's brand of stupid and isn't going to fall for it. Also, not willing to send someone to Yilling, like, think of their reputation!

At Qinghe Nie: the message was also ripped apart by Nie Mingju because he thinks Wei Wuxian is mocking them by calling out their righteousness. They're not sending anyone either, but Nie Huaisang 's brain is going "??.. !"

At Lanling Jing: there's a huge debate about which prostitute to send him, how much they'll have to pay said prostitute to keep the Yilling Laozu content and get their hand on the Yin Tiger Tally without sacrificing too much on their side. Everyone is shooting everyone in the foot. Nothing concrete is done.

At Gusu Lan: the message was ripped apart and everyone is shaking their heads at the shamelessness of the Yilling Laozu, they're too "above" to even consider sending anyone. Lan Qiren, knowing Wei Wuxian 's brand of stupid (same as his mother, hmpf!) is nearly ripping his beard off from how mocking the boy is! Lan Xichen is sighing at yet another proof Wei Wuxian has fallen because of his cultivation. He goes to tell his brother not to do anything rash but Lan Wangji is already gone. Oops.

A month later, Lan Wangji comes back with a gaggle of old people and a child. And the Yilling Laozu, dragging his feet and trying to escape. Lan Wangji says "excuse me." at the sentries before walking to the sides in the forest for.. about 45 minutes? and when he comes back, Wei Wuxian is disheveled and loopy. He looks like he's been mauled by a fierce beast. The rest of the Wen group look exhausted and used to it, wishing they could be set somewhere so they don't have to endure their Yilling Laozu being ravished (enthusiastically) by Hanguang-jun four times a day. Wen Yuan is just happy Wei-gege and Rich-gege made up.

The One in which Wei Wuxian Died

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Got an idea for an au in the dead of the night which I might flesh out later. Idk. But for now, here’s what it amounts to.

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Wei Wuxian, post-canon, happily married to Lan Wangji, is not in fact getting along with his in-laws. And by in-laws, I mean Lan Qiren. Lan Qiren is convinced that Wei Wuxian is the devil incarnate that stole away and seduced his well behaved nephew, corrupting him. Nothing new from the man who held a grudge against a literal fifteen year old. He does not hide the fact that he believes things would be better off had Wei Wuxian not existed in the first place.

Wei Wuxian, who is in fact a talismanic genius, decides that if Lan Qiren wants a world where he doesn’t exist so badly, he’ll help the man out. He then spends the next few weeks developing a talisman (or array, if that works better) that will allow Lan Qiren to view an alternate timeline in which Wei Wuxian does not exist. He promptly presents it to Lan Qiren, explains the concept, and laughs as he tells Lan Qiren to use it whenever he wants to relax.

Most importantly, Lan Qiren is a spectator to this timeline. He is unable to influence it.

(While Wei Wuxian perhaps no longer blames himself for certain events, like the Wens attacking Lotus Pier, considering they likely would have done so no matter his perceived slight, he does not think through the effect his not being there would bring about during other such events. So while self blame is not as prevalent as it once would have been, he does not think the world would find detriment in his absence. He is wrong.)

Now, with the initial setup out of the way, let’s dive into this alternate timeline, starting with the first divergence; Wei Wuxian himself.

In this timeline, Wei Ying, nearing six years old, succumbs to a fever brought about by infected dog bites after his first encounter with them on the streets. (His little spirit is very happily enjoying spending time with his parents in the afterlife. he’s probably the only carefree individual in this timeline.)

Lotus Pier, despite Wei Wuxian having never stepped foot within it, is still wrought with tension. Jiang Cheng still develops an inferiority complex, and Jiang Yanli still takes it upon herself to parent her little brother in the absence of any real parenting from Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian, who are too busy fighting with each other to pay much attention to their children aside from using them as ammunition for their ire. While the main family is dealing with this infighting, the Jiang Sect stagnates and weakens under the mismanagement of their appointed Head Disciple until Jiang Fengmian finally catches wind of this during one of Madam Yu’s night hunts when she’s not around to distract him. A new Head Disciple is chosen, but the damage will take time to repair.

Cloud Recesses is relatively calm, the year Wei Wuxian was meant to attend. With a few distinct differences. Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang are not friends without Wei Wuxian to act as a buffer between Jiang Cheng’s headstrong personality and Nie Huaisang’s far meeker disposition. Lan Wangji does not spend the year falling in love with a troublesome rule-breaker, and continues to seclude himself away behind an icy disposition. Su She drowns during the confrontation with the Waterborne Abyss. The students come, study, and leave. Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan’s engagement remains intact by the end of the year. Lan Wangji does not come out of his shell, and Lan Xichen continues to worry about his brother.

Wen Chao still performs poorly during the archery competition. The Lan sect is still burnt down. The indoctrination still occurs. Mianmian is branded on the face. The disciples manage to escape with few casualties, but the Xuanwu of Slaughter remains alive. Lan Wangji will never regain full mobility of his leg despite the strength of his golden core.

Lotus Pier still burns. Jiang Yanli, safe in Lanling at the time, becomes the sole survivor of the main family. Without Wei Wuxian there to temper his impulsivity, Jiang Cheng joins back in the fight after being sent away and dies alongside his parents. The Jiang sect dissolves with so little members left with no one suitable to lead them. Jiang Yanli officially marries into the Jin sect the year after.

The Sunshot Campaign is still formed, but lacking the support of both the Jiang and the Jin (whose contribution is so minimal it barely counts for anything), it was doomed from the beginning. The Wen storm Qinghe Nie whilst the Sunshot Campaign gathers its forces, and Wen Xu takes Nie Huaisang hostage to force Nie Mingjue to come fight them. The Sunshot Campaign is thusly defeated, and as it’s figurehead, Nie Mingjue is beheaded.

Following this, Jin Guangshan openly allies himself with Wen Rouhan, whilst both the Lan and Nie are absorbed into the Wen sect. Anyone who protests this is executed or used for more of Wen Rouhan’s experiments regarding resentful energy.

It is during this lull in activity that Jin Ling is born to Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli. Things are peaceful in Lanling for approximately two years until Wen Rouhan sets his sights on completely conquering the cultivation world and targets the Jin sect. Jin Guangshan dies after his core is crushed by Wen Zhuliu. Following a promise made to Jiang Yanli, Jin Zixuan flees with Jin Ling after Jiang Yanli is captured to buy them time to escape (the only reason it is not Jin Zixuan buying time for Jiang Yanli and Jin Ling is that he has a better chance at being able to protect their son, given Jiang Yanli’s weaker cultivation). She is brought to Nightless City after Wen Xu takes an interest in her.

After an entire year on the run from the Wen, Jin Zixuan is finally caught in Yiling. He puts up a significant fight to protect Jin Ling but is ultimately injured. This is where Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen show in the narrative. They help Jin Zixuan fight off the Wen soldiers, but Jin Zixuan is dying. He entrusts Jin Ling into the care of the two rogue cultivators, making them promise to keep the boy safe. The two agree. So they leave Jin Zixuan in Yiling and travel to the safest place Xiao Xingchen knows; a place he knows accepts orphaned children. He takes Jin Ling to the Celestial Mountain, upon which resides none other than Baoshan Sanren.

(Jin Zixuan, for his part, does not die. Wen Qing, who although has since been called back to Nightless City to resume her work as Wen Rouhan’s personal physician, occasionally travels to Yiling to check upon the supervisory office still under her management. Wen Qing, who has developed a tentative friendship with Jiang Yanli, chances upon Jin Zixuan and beyond all odds, recognizes him as Jiang Yanli’s husband from before her capture. She promptly smuggles him into the supervisory office to treat him. His core is irreparably damaged by a poison made from resentful energy that Wen Rouhan has Wen Qing helping to develop. If left unchecked, it would continue to ravage through the meridians until the pain immobilizes the affected cultivator, leading to eventual death. To prevent this, Wen Qing surgically removes Jin Zixuan’s golden core.)

That’s where my subsequent timeline ends, but there are still ideas for this that I have. Because without Wei Wuxian, the solution for this timeline’s happy ending is far more complicated.

These new circumstances, however, lead to some pretty interesting dynamics that can be explored. My main idea obviously centres around Nie Huaisang, who with the loss of his brother is most certainly plotting the downfall of Wen Rouhan. But the most interesting dynamic I can think of would have to be between Meng Yao and Mo Xuanyu. Meng Yao, who did not stab Wen Rouhan and therefore was never acknowledged by Jin Guangshan. Meng Yao, who with Jin Guangshan dead, has no way to obtain that approval, and so therefore does not align his entire being with being the perfect son. And Mo Xuanyu, who without Wei Wuxian to invent demonic cultivation, might just end up as the founder in this timeline (because he’s pretty and tragic and I adore him).

Either way, the main rebellion would likely consist of Nie Huaisang, Meng Yao, Mo Xuanyu, (perhaps) Lan Wangji, Wen Qing, Wen Ning, Xiao Xingchen, Song Zichen, Jiang Yanli, and Jin Zixuan. (And if this lasts long enough, Jin Ling as well.) I say perhaps for Lan Wangji due to his injured leg, though he could still contribute utilizing musical cultivation.

Oh, and the Xuanwu of Slaughter is still an issue in this universe. Unless they can weaponize it against the Wen, which would be pretty cool.

(Wen Chao does in fact become the Wen’s very own version of Jin Guangshan, leaving illegitimate heirs all over the place.)

Of course, none of this is set in stone. If anyone wants to play around with this au, you’re totally free to do so however you’d like. I’m sharing this mostly in case anyone else finds it interesting, and because I’ll probably never actually write a fic for it. This mostly just started out as a brain teaser trying to figure out what would happen if Wei Wuxian wasn’t part of the plot, considering that although he did contribute quite a lot to the canon events, a lot of things were set in motion long before he was even born (like Jin Guangshan’s corruption and Wen Rouhan’s plans to conquer the cultivation world).

yearning <3