Idk if anyone else remembers, but Batman canonically carries around Bat-cookies according to the Batman/Scooby-Doo crossover.
I LOVE to think Batman carries them around as snacks for Robin. I love it even more to think he uses said cookies to bribe Robin into good behavior in a similar fashion to Scooby Snacks.
Little Dick Grayson: I don't wanna go to some stupid Gala! U can't make me!
Bruce, in desperation: would u do it for a bat-cookie?
Dick: woah! Bat-shaped! Cool!
Bruce: andddd you can have another one after the party
Dick, mouth full of cookie: okay :)
Bruce, internally: thank fuck a parenting hack that works
Batman: stop! Don't kill him!
Red Hood: and why do I give a fuck what you-
Batman: would u spare his life for a Bat-cookie?
Red Hood:
Red Hood: I'm not a kid anymore-
Batman: they're fresh, look, still warm
Red Hood: ...
Red Hood: this works ONCE. This ONE time. Gimme that damn cookie.
Batman: of course
Red Hood: Fuck I've missed these what the hell does Alfred put in em
Bruce: go to sleep, Tim
Tim: I'm almost done-
Bruce: go to sleep now and you can have a bat-cookie
Tim: a what?
Bruce: a bat-cookie. See? Here, first taste is free. Try it.
Tim: bribery? Really?
Bruce: positive reinforcement
Tim: giving me treats like I'm some kind of dog?
Bruce: try it and then we'll debate the ethics
Tim [eats cookie]:
Tim:
Tim: okay
Bruce: Okay?
Tim: if I promise to sleep a full 8 hours I want two more and a glass of milk
Bruce: u drive a hard bargain but I accept
Dick: aw, c'mon, Damian. One picture. For me, to remember your first day of high school. Do it for a bat-cookie?
Damian: -tt- I've heard of these so-called "bat-cookies" Insulting. I am not a child. I refuse to participate in such an asinine tradition.
Dick: shame. Alfred made animal-friendly ones so you can share with Ace and Batcow. I guess they don't get any treats either, then
Damian: well
Damian: since it would please you so very much, I will overlook this patronizing lapse in judgment
Damian [tries one bite of cookie]:
Damian:
Damian: given Batcows higher food intake requirements, I will require at least a dozen.
Damian [takes another bite]: perhaps two dozen
Duke: you agree I did a good job today?
Bruce: yes? I suppose. Earlier, when you stopped that-
Duke: shut it. Don't care. Cookie me.
Bruce: excuse me?
Duke: I know about the cookies, old man. You've been holding out on me. The cat's out of the bag. I did a good job, I get a cookie. That's how it works, right?
Bruce: uh well
Bruce: that was a long time ago
Bruce: i had to discontinue that method after-
Duke: are you saying I'm not a valid member of this family because I was never Robin?
Bruce: of course you are! But I don't have any on me-
Duke: don't. Lie. To. Me.
Bruce: Okay! Okay. You're right, I'm sorry. Here, take it. Just... do me a favor, and don't go announcing to the whole cave you got-
Duke: YES. MY FIRST BAT-COOKIE! SCORE!
Every batmember in the vicinity: BAT-COOKIES ARE BACK????
Bruce: NO! stay back! Stay back you animals! Alfred! Alfred! It's happening again-
Alfred, sighing: I'll preheat the oven, sir
“CAN WE GET A MAINTENANCE GUY DOWN HERE? I don’t think fluorescent bulbs cast that much shadow.”
The Bats: Are you hungry? We can buy you food.
Peter: Nah I have food at home.
Food at home:
i am sorry, please no more angst 🥲
Ghost Jay and Bruce - Ghost Jay witnessing how fucked up Bruce got after his death. And accepting how people move on (or as they seem to).
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 of Ghost Jason series
continuing the struggle to understand motorcycle anatomy
featuring joyful batdad based on an actual comic panel
Jason has been numb since he climbed out of that grave
young justice 98 : cats !
this came to me in a dream idk
im obsessed with the idea that gothamites 100% know who all the batkids are, like “ for sure Dick Grayson is nightwing #thebuttsmatch” and they figured out all their identities and who it correlates to, “ofc the newest robin with all the swords is Damian Wayne!!” but they refuse to even consider Bruce and The Batman being the same guy. it just doesn’t make sense?? Brucie Wayne, dressing up as a bat and calling himself vengeance???? as if???? also he’s from bristol???? can’t possibly be Brucie. Like they genuinely believe that Bruce is the father to a whole gaggle of themed vigilantes and just doesn’t know it. Anytime his kids disappear during a gala, he gets a bunch of pitiful looks and he can’t leave bc everyone’s looking at him now??
This actually works into a lot of ppls theories that Brucie is The Batman’s sugar daddy, bc clearly they’re together and co parenting the batkids??
The in-universe Gothamite's guide to shipping your resident billionaire 💀
...
Comes with labels
patrol is fun :DD
Star Trippin' , Baby