Woke Up And Someone Spilled Vanilla Extract All Over My Dash, So As Punishment You Strange Little Beasties

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

Woke Up And Someone Spilled Vanilla Extract All Over My Dash, So As Punishment You Strange Little Beasties
Woke Up And Someone Spilled Vanilla Extract All Over My Dash, So As Punishment You Strange Little Beasties

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

Woke Up And Someone Spilled Vanilla Extract All Over My Dash, So As Punishment You Strange Little Beasties
Woke Up And Someone Spilled Vanilla Extract All Over My Dash, So As Punishment You Strange Little Beasties
Woke Up And Someone Spilled Vanilla Extract All Over My Dash, So As Punishment You Strange Little Beasties

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

More Posts from Corvidaea and Others

1 year ago

I feel like if humans swallowed rocks like birds do to help grind up food we'd have so much fun with it.

Can just imagine all the girlies on tiktok going "I know this is a bit controversial but I honestly love using limestone as a gastrolith. Not only can you readily forage it but they are just so pretty when smoothed out after regurgitating them"

and then all the comments would be like " girl ๐Ÿ˜ญ ๐Ÿ˜ญ calcite dissolves in stomach acid!! Just use quartz if you want a pretty gastrolith like ๐Ÿ’€"

1 year ago

โ€œHer name is Luluโ€ฆshe is scared of the loud bombing just like us.โ€


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1 year ago

Antisemitism and Islamophobia are very similar (if not the same), actually

So I was scrolling down the #palestine tag for any updates and important information, and I came across this:

Antisemitism And Islamophobia Are Very Similar (if Not The Same), Actually

And I think we need to sit down and talk about this.

I am a Muslim. I live in Indonesia, a country that is predominantly Muslim and a lot of Muslims here also support the Palestinian cause. Hell, even our government supports it by not only allowing Palestinian goods enter the country without fee, but also taking in Palestinian refugees and even acknowledging the status of Palestine as a state while not having any political ties with Israel. The topic of the Palestinian tragedy has been spoon-fed to us at schools, sermons, media, etc., so your average Indonesian would at the very least be aware of the conflict.

However, there is a glaring problem. One that I keep seeing way too often for my liking.

A lot of them are antisemitic as hell. The sermons I would hear sometimes demonize Jewish people. Antisemitic statements are openly said out loud on social media. Some are even Nazi supporters who would literally go to anime cons and COSPLAY as members of the Nazi party. This is not just an Indonesian Muslim problem, no, but this is a glaring issue within the global Islamic community as a whole. Today, this sense of antisemitism is usually rooted in general hatred towards the Israeli government and its actions against the people of Palestine, but antisemitism amongst Muslims are also rooted in certain interpretations of verses from the Qur'an and Hadith mentioning Jewish people and Judaism (particularly the Bani Israil), but in a way that is more ridiculing instead of life-threatening when compared to how antisemitism looks like in the Western world.

As someone who prefers to become a "bridge" between two sides in most cases, I find this situation to be concerning, to say the least. While, yes, it is important for us Muslims to support Palestine and fight against injustice, we must not forget that not every Jewish people support the Israeli government. A lot of them are even anti-Zionists who actively condemn Israel and even disagree with the existence of Israel as a state as it goes against their teachings. A lot of them are also Holocaust survivors or their descendants, so it is harmful to think for one second that Hitler's actions and policies were justified. It's just like saying that Netanyahu is right for his decision to destroy Palestine and commit war crime after war crime towards the Palestinians.

As Muslims, we also need to remember that Jewish people (the Yahudi) are considered ahli kitab, i.e. People Of The Book along with Christians (the Nasrani). The Islam I have come to know and love has no mentions of Allah allowing us to persecute them or anyone collectively for the actions of a few. While, yes, there are disagreements with our respective teachings I do not see that as an excuse to even use antisemitic slurs against Jewish people during a pro-Palestine rally, let alone support a man who was known for his acts of cruelty toward the Jewish community in WW2. They are still our siblings/cousins in faith, after all. Unless they have done active harm like stealing homes from civilians or celebrating the destruction of Palestine or supporting the Israeli government and the IOF or are members of the IOF, no Jewish people (and Christians, for that matter) must be harmed in our fight against Zionism.

Contemporary antisemitism is similar to (if not straight up being the exact same thing as) contemporary Islamophobia, if you think about it; due to the actions of a select few that has caused severe harm towards innocent people, an entire community has been a target of hate. Even when you have tried to call out the ones supporting such cruelties, you are still getting bombarded by hate speech. It's doubly worse if you're also simultaneously part of a marginalized group like BIPOC, LGBTQ+, etc. as you also get attacked on multiple sides. This is where we all need to self-reflect, practice empathy, and unlearn all of the antisemitism and unjustified hatred that we were exposed to.

So, do call out Zionism and Nazism when you see it. Call out the US government for funding this atrocity and others before it that had ALSO triggered the rise of Islamophobia. Call your reps. Go to the streets. Punch a fascist if you feel so inclined. Support your local businesses instead of pro-Israel companies.

But not at the cost of our Jewish siblings. Not at the cost of innocent Jewish people who may also be your allies. If you do that, you are no different from a MAGA cap-wearing Islamophobe.

That is all for now, may your watermelons taste fresh and sweet.

๐Ÿ‰

Salam Semangka, Penco


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1 year ago
This Happened 7 Years Ago, The People Were Only Trying To Help A Girl Who Was Bleeding From A Shot Wound.

this happened 7 years ago, the people were only trying to help a girl who was bleeding from a shot wound.

Watch the video yourself, you can see the people who gathered were not posing as a threat, they were only concerned about the girl. Yet an officer felt it necessary to harass a man in a wheelchair?

There is no neutrality. There is nothing complex about it once you open your eyes and realise the people of palestine have been dealing with an oppressive force for years


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2 years ago
Crowley: I Brought Down The Entire Mobile Phone Network In London.

Crowley: I brought down the entire mobile phone network in London.

Crowley: Call Aziraphale!

*All lines to London are busy*

Crowley: ๐Ÿ˜‘ F U C K ! I am not a smart man.


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2 years ago
Gotta Admit, I'm Impressed With Their Dedication To The Bit
Gotta Admit, I'm Impressed With Their Dedication To The Bit
Gotta Admit, I'm Impressed With Their Dedication To The Bit
Gotta Admit, I'm Impressed With Their Dedication To The Bit
Gotta Admit, I'm Impressed With Their Dedication To The Bit
Gotta Admit, I'm Impressed With Their Dedication To The Bit
Gotta Admit, I'm Impressed With Their Dedication To The Bit
Gotta Admit, I'm Impressed With Their Dedication To The Bit
Gotta Admit, I'm Impressed With Their Dedication To The Bit
Gotta Admit, I'm Impressed With Their Dedication To The Bit

gotta admit, I'm impressed with their dedication to the bit

1 year ago

all you suckers are spending $70 on totk but not me Iโ€™m emulating it on tumblr

2 years ago
TUMBLEBUG x KUMA SPORT WINDBREAKER TRACKSUIT. A large purple beetle with neon pink and mint stripes across its back and squiggly patterns in a bright 80s style. A zipper runs down the middle of its shell.
EARTH-BORING DUNG BEETLE x TALAVERA. A yellow and white scarab-shaped beetle with a diamond-shaped tile pattern in dark blue on its back.
PONDEROUS BORER BEETLE x JAZZ. A long skinny beetle with a dark blue head and legs. Its shell is white, with a jagged pattern of teal and purple brushstrokes, as found on disposable paper cups.
SIX-SPOTTED TIGER BEETLE x HOLOGRAPHIC PAPER. A long skinny beetle with protruding eyes, colored in reflective pinks and blues like holographic paper.
SQUASH BEETLE x ZELLIGE. A round beetle with a geometric mosaic of radiating star patterns in green and orange on its back.
MARSH BEETLE x CELTIC KNOT. A small round beetle textured like stone, with an intricate celtic knot carved into its back, with moss creeping over it.
COLORADO POTATO BEETLE x NEBRA SKY DISC. A round blue-green beetle with a hammered metallic texture. Scattered across its shell are golden shapes: a circle, a crescent, and several arcs, surrounded by smaller gold dots.
COMB-CLAWED BEETLE x MORRIS & CO. WALLPAPER. A long skinny beetle with part of a floral wallpaper pattern in the Arts and Crafts style on its shell.

beetledrop (additional beetles here)

tumblebug x 80s tracksuit | earth-boring dung beetle x talavera ponderous borer beetle x jazz | six-spotted tiger beetle x holo paper squash beetle x zellige | marsh beetle x celtic knot potato bug x nebra sky disc | comb-clawed beetle x morris & co. wallpaper

1 year ago

"We're collecting our kids in bags! In bags!" "We're finding body parts that we don't know who it belongs to"

A massacre after another, and the world is silent. This has to stop.


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1 year ago

woke up today and realized that tumblr entirely killed fuck ya life bing bong so here ya go again

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corvidaea - Therandil | He/They
Therandil | He/They

Simply a lurker. I reblog a lot of fandom stuff.

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