Cr4shedout - Nya ˚.⋆☾

good emotional skills to know 4 college but also in general

this is stuff that i’ve found helpful and am in the process of working on. they may not be achievable for you without help and may not work for your specific circumstance, but this is a list of suggestions that you might be able to think about. i am also not a mental health professional so please do feel free to contradict me!!

self soothing. having a toolbox to take care of yourself by yourself. bc sometimes nobody else is available and you just gotta put some lotion on, listen to a tune, and go to bed early.

checking in. checking in with yourself to see if you’re okay. knowing how to alter your strategies when your strategies aren’t working. knowing when your strategies aren’t working. this is just taking some time every day to reflect on what goals you didn’t meet and why and what you can do to fix that.

there’s nothing you “should” be doing. if you get caught up thinking “i should be doing x” that’s false! stop that! “should” be doing better implies that you have some obligation to do whatever it is that you “should” be doing. you don’t owe anybody except yourself. analyze why you think you should be doing that thing and change that into…. “i want to be doing x because…” or “doing x will make me happier, because…”. overall, more productive and less self-shamey.

disconnecting from the crowd. eating in a crowded dining hall can be stressful! knowing how to be alone in a crowd and stay calm is helpful

being okay with being alone. tbh college is kind of… being alone a lot, in my experience. even though you’re surrounded by people, a lot of time is spent alone. making friends is hard. your friends have different schedules. you’re busy. shit sucks. we make the best of it.

knowing yourself. this relates to a lot of what i’ve already said but like. knowing your emotional state and knowing what helps trick the monkey brain is helpful. stop repressing your feelings, friends.

talking to strangers. ordering from a menu! paying library fines. going to office hours. asking for a cashier at the register if there isn’t one. ya this is hard. ya you gotta expose yourself. sometimes i just try playing a persona. like this isn’t me ordering a sandwich. this is a cool me who knows how to talk to people who is ordering a sandwich.

you don’t have to be friends with your roommates. you just have to live together in a way that doesn’t make you two hate each other. ideally, you two will coexist in a way that doesn’t interfere with the other’s daily life.

give and taking. on the topic of roommates, sometimes your roommate can be a shitty person, but sometimes you are the shitty person! give a little but if they’re negatively impacting your life, communicate.

communicating during disagreements. explain what your emotions are instead of blaming them. “i feel hurt when you…” or “i feel frustrated when” or “i feel unappreciated when.” if things get heated, ask if you both can take a ten minute break and then come back. and don’t bring up disagreements when the other party is preoccupied or going somewhere. you can legitimately schedule a discussion.

it’s okay to apologize. learning to swallow your pride gets easier each time.

knowing that people work differently than you. some people are not gonna click with you and it’s gonna seem like they have this whole brain process up there that is totally unlike yours. and yeah! that’s how it is. and that’s chill if they aren’t hurting anyone else. work with them and be flexible!!

comforting people. you will probably/definitely see someone cry! hell if i know how to comfort people. someone please help. but some things i’ve learned are: 1) different people need different things. different people need different things! 2) people need different things at different times. 3) you can ask them what they want and it won’t be weird. 4) apparently a lot of people like hugs? but ask. and it’s okay to not want a hug. 5) just show that you care in some way if you don’t know what they need. i used to think that if somebody needed to tell me what they needed it was a sign that i just didn’t know them well enough and we weren’t compatible or i wasn’t being a good friend. that’s fake! friendship isn’t based off of fitting naturally in every way and making an effort to be good for them is important.

knowing it’s okay to not be liked by everyone. it’s okay if strangers think you’re dumb because you said something dumb in public. you know you’re not dumb. it’s okay if not everybody you meet likes you. it’s okay if you do something cringey. everybody has their own shit to deal with and you will not shatter their world. grow and move on!

forgiving yourself. i’m trying this new thing where when i feel embarrassed about something i say. out loud. “i forgive myself.” and then i just try to grow from that and move on without getting caught in a spiral of shame.

knowing what you need vs what you want and what is better at the time. what you need: a shower. what you want: to not do that. solution: take a shower! or maybe what you actually need is to go to sleep? but guess what. you probably know what is good for you. the hard part is actually doing it.

realize that building habits is less work than discipline. emotional effort is expended every time you have to make yourself do something. just make it part of your routine and you’ll just think it’s normal to do all the good things! like, for example, i’m trying to make it a habit to eat structured meals instead of a “eat when i’m hungry” thing because i know that makes me skip meals, which is bad!

you won’t be able to do everything. forgive yourself for that. write down things that are top priority and focus on them. everything else is not important right now and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for not being able to do them.

your health is important. i’m not saying health will solve all your problems. it won’t! but health will cause a lot of your problems to go away. because let’s face it. not sleeping causes a lot of problems.

it’s okay to ask for help. we say this a lot but it’s hard to internalize it. here’s a thought: there’s so much shame and hesitation about asking for help so by doing that you’re actually being proactive (which is respectable) and mature, and therefore… not weak or stupid. ask for help even before you need it! most people love to help others. and especially take advantage of people who are OFFERING help. for example: counselors at school or TAs. it’s literally their job. they want to do it. and if you don’t want to talk to anybody in real life, my inbox is always open.

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cr4shedout

4 years ago

MY health tips!!

You’ve been a lot to ask me about health and fitness tips so here are mine!

Of course, I’m not a doctor (yet :P) nor a personal trainer but I’ve been working out for 3 straight years now and I’ve acquired a bit of knowledge about health and fitness. This article will only be about food and I’ll post soon another one about fitness!!

Hope you enjoy :)

Mental health first : food is good for your body. If you start being afraid of it, or if eating gives you anxiety or if you do anything that could make you think of an eating disorder, please seek help. I see tons of pro-ana blogs here on Tumblr and THIS IS NOT OK. I know, I’m not you but the only thing I can do is try to help and the only way for me to do so is to tell you that you’re not alone, you are loved, and it’s totally normal to need help. Please don’t stay in your dark thoughts. Feel free to message me if you want to talk.

Try to stay away from refined sugar, processed and fatty foods. They’ll just make you feel bad and are just empty calories! You’ll end up by eating more and more because of your insulin spikes!

You don’t really need oil. If you want to include healthy fats in your diet, -and you have to- make sure they come from nuts or avocados instead of liquid oils. Oil is basically fat juice with all the vitamins and fiber removed. Plus, you have no idea how quick you can transform your healthy salad into a super caloric one just by adding oil to it!

You don’t have to eat breakfast if you’re not hungry in the morning. But make sure you bring something healthy with you if you’re going to work / school so you don’t fall for the vending machine.

Try to include protein at each meal, but remember that unless you’re a bodybuilder you don’t have to eat 200 grams of protein per day! 80g is more than sufficient. Also, try to add more vegetal sources of protein to your diet, like beans, whole grains, and nuts. The animals, the planet, and especially your body will thank you for that.

Fiber. Everyone seems super worried about their protein intake when an actual protein deficiency is really rare. What is more common instead is the lack of fiber in our diet. Fibers are so important to keep your gut and body healthy (lack of fiber is actually one of the main causes of colorectal cancer!!). Foods that contain more fiber are fruits, veggies, and whole grains.

If you want to lose weight, a simple trick is to put fewer fats and carbs a bit on your plate and add more veggies instead. Veggies will help you to feel fuller and are also the best source of fiber (you’ll poop more often and eat less so it’s a win-win situation :D )

However, don’t forget that carbs are important. Yes, ditching carbs from your diet will make you lose weight (especially because you also eliminate the water that was retained because of the carbs) but they are our main source of energy. Your body will crave carbs when you stop eating them!! Just try to eat more whole carbs like brown rice, quinoa, whole wheat pasta, etc.

Drink more water, but not too much. Just make sure that your urine is light yellow and not dark (but if your urine is almost transparent it means you’re drinking too much and losing precious minerals in your urine!!) Also remember that if you’re adding more fiber to your diet, make sure you drink more (hello constipation!!)

Snack on healthy foods like fruits or trail mix or hummus (I’ll post something about healthy snacks to eat whilst studying soon!)

Simple tip, if you don’t want to eat unhealthy foods at your house, just don’t buy them

Eat slower so you’ll feel satisfied by eating less

Ditch sodas. They are really terrific in terms of hidden sugars. Even sugar-free sodas are evil. They make your teeth weaker, make you more hungry and most of the time the gas retained inside will make you feel bloated. If you don’t like drinking water, try to prepare a bottle of water with lemon, or berries in it and put it in the fridge! Or try drinking more tea (without sugar)!

For your own sanity, allow yourself cheat meals. Keep them for special occasions like when you’re out with your friends or in vacations, just don’t make it an everyday habit! It’s normal to crave ice cream and burgers, and of course, you can have them sometimes!

So just remember that these are my personal tips, and you may not approve them and it’s ok. In the end, the most important thing is to keep a balanced diet and lifestyle no matter what you prefer :)

I hope these tips will actually help you!

I’ll come back soon with an article about fitness and another with healthy and vegan snacks to try when studying :)

STUDYGRAM

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cr4shedout

4 years ago