Latest Posts by criminal-mindsincorrect - Page 4

Reid : "Once you've hit rock bottom the only place to go is up". You underestimate me, I've brought my pickaxe and I'm ready to dig.

Unsub : I ain't talking

Reid, sharpening a knife : We got ways of making people talk

Reid, cuts a piece of cake

Unsub : ..Can I have some ?

Reid : Cake is for talkers only.

Emily : When I get doordash I order 20 cheeseburgers at a time and heat them up throughout the week so that I don't have to pay the delivery fee multiple times

Hotch : I hope you understand how food poisoning works

Emily : And I hope food poisoning knows how I work because I never met a burger I couldn't eat.

Emily : I'm so upset.

Morgan : Why what happened ?

Emily, raising her index menacingly towards him : Shut the fuck up, fuck you.

Morgan : Okay girl, you stay upset, actually I hope your day gets worse !

Emily : Don't come on a case thinking it's going to be easy, we dig through the ditches and burn through the bitches in here

Emily : Get in the Halloween spirit and make a ghost !

JJ, sipping her coffee, reading the news paper : That's called murder, and I heard somewhere that it is illegal.

Hotch, sighing : Why is Morgan crying in the corner ?

Emily : I told him Santa wasn't real.

Garcia, popping her head from her office : SANTA IS WHAT ?!

Hotch, having in his office one "depressive thought jar" and one "threat jar"

Rossi, first coming at the BAU : You have very specific swear jar

Hotch, pointing to Emily and Reid : I have very specific children.

Nobody :

Reid, anytime, anyday : I'm uncomfortable with emotions.

Absolutely no one :

Reid : I'm sleep deprived.

Not even a fly :

Reid : I have no idea what to do.

Not. A single. Soul :

Still Reid : Alright, I'm gonna go cry.

The BAU having therapy. The psy's reaction :

To Reid : Calls two other psy, and ordered anti-d for himself.

To Morgan : Questions the existence of self-conservation.

To Garcia : Fills adoption papers.

To Hotch : Questions the existence of emotions and humour.

To JJ : Learn that someone can be a mother to the entire civilization.

To Emily : Calls the police.

Unsub, wanting to mentally torture Reid : One of these glasses of water is poisoned, you have to drink one-

Reid : drinks one without hesitation

Unsub : Wha- How did you know it was the safe one ?!

Reid, visibly sad and disappointed : ..I kinda hoped it wasn't.

Elle : Guess who's very upset about something very small, again

Emily : "Feminine urge this", "Masculine urge that". Dude, the only urge I have is going feral.

Garcia : I'm not delusional, I'm simply manifesting my own reality

Morgan : "Think twice" ? Bold of you to assume I think once

Emily : Contrary to popular belief, violence solves a lot

Reid : What doesn't kill me makes me wish it did

Morgan : Legends says that one night, Emily was fed after midnight, and she shifted into a Gremlin that never melted away at the sunlight.

JJ : If you could choose a reincarnation, what would it be ?

Garcia : A dog to still be a walking sun.

Morgan : A mosquito to annoy Emily.

Reid : A rat to disappear.

Hotch : I already used all of my lives with this team.

Emily : A butterfly.

JJ : They only live a few days.

Emily : That's the point.

Emily : Once my baby was being annoying so I put it in the basement.

Emily : Then I forgot about it and decided that I didn't want a basement anymore, so I got rid of the door and decided that I will do the rest later. When child protective services came, they couldn't go in the basement, so they just chilled around in my house.

Therapist :

JJ, facepalm : She's talking about the Sims, please don't call the police.

The team, vibing in the jet :

Garcia : Is it depression ?

JJ : Is it anxiety ?

Reid : Do I have ADHD ?

Emily : Am I just lazy ?

Hotch : Am I burnt out ?

Morgan : What the fuck is wrong with me ?

JJ : Why is Morgan hiding in my office ?

Reid : He broke his spaghetti before putting them in the water.

JJ : ..And ?

Reid : He did it in front of Rossi.

Rossi, bursting into JJ's office : COME HERE STRONZETTO-

Morgan : screams sharply and terrified

Reid : I wish my daddy issues could just disappear

Gideon : dies

Reid :

Reid : NOT LIKE THAT-

Emily : There is a "hell" in "hello"

Morgan : There is an "end" in "friend"

Reid : There is a "lie" in "believe"

Garcia : There is a "cheese" in "cheeseburger"

Emily, Morgan, Reid :

Garcia, being sad : I wanted to join...

Emily, Morgan, Reid : There is a "cheese" in "cheeseburger".

JJ : I want someone strong, beautiful, not dramatic, smart-

Emily, in the background : punches her mug because she choked on her coffee, and how dare it tries to kill her.

JJ : This one. I want this one.

Garcia, trying to stop the unsub : Killing someone is really weird, like no one will like you if you do that

Emily, to Will : You're in her DMs but she's in my bed and we're taking online quizzes to see if either of us has autism

Morgan : bro be like "feb" because he can't spell februawary

Hotch, feeling an emotion : who the fuck authorized this ?

Reid : Unfortunately, I do always have something smart to say.