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English added by me :)

Reblog if you're not homophobic

Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad. 

So, let me guess– you just started a new book, right? And you’re stumped. You have no idea how much an AK47 goes for nowadays. I get ya, cousin. Tough world we live in. A writer’s gotta know, but them NSA hounds are after ya 24/7. I know, cousin, I know. If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

You’re in luck, cousin. I have just the thing for ya.

It’s called Havocscope. It’s got information and prices for all sorts of edgy information. Ever wondered how much cocaine costs by the gram, or how much a kidney sells for, or (worst of all) how much it costs to hire an assassin?

I got your back, cousin. Just head over to Havocscope.

((PS: In case you’re wondering, Havocscope is a database full of information regarding the criminal underworld. The information you will find there has been taken from newspapers and police reports. It’s perfectly legal, no need to worry about the NSA hounds, cousin ;p))

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Hello please reblog this if you’re okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better

OC Muse: Valdhaern

Image Credit: Thevan and the raven monster by ptitvink

Valdhaern. Many have heard the name of this man-turned-raven, or was he a raven-turned-man? No one truly knows, but no one truly dares to ask. All they know is that he is a man with the trappings of a monster. Valdhaern is rumored to be first of the Valravn, carrion birds of Hel herself that scour the world of the living to devour the flesh of fallen warriors, kings, and lords alike. The life of a Valravn, a raven of the slain, is one of endless hunger and wanting, a wanting that can never be sated.

Valdhaern, first of the Valravn, is one stricken with the most grievous of hunger; not for flesh, blood, or death. But for love. In life, Valdhaern was a loving husband, and his wife Leile was bearing their first child. One night, however, a shriek awoke Valdhaern from his sleep, and awoke to the horrifying sight of his wife, stomach torn open, and her child consumed by ravens. Crying in outrage, he’d chase the carrion birds away, but to no avail. His beloved Leile and child were long dead.

Storming into the night, Valdhaern begged and cried for a release from the inevitable grief that’d settle in. However, fate was malicious to his desires, and as the ravens flocked to his body, they did not consume him, but rather cloaked him in their bodies. Clothes turned to a feathery cloak, skin turned grey and leathery, his face elongating to a ravenous beak, and fingernails turned to sharp, crooked claws. He was now the first of the Valravn. Neither man nor raven. And his hunger is forever the bottomless void in his heart that cries out for a beloved one once more.

slowly dropping all of my crow monsters here to make up for lost time

A hungry witch named Gertrud! part of a lil species of mine based on those old fashioned depictions of witches~

its my fucking tumblr birthday everyone give me gifts

WIP of another character for my story thingie