See Him Schmoove

Before i was born my mom heard news abt a yoing boy that fell into a river and went missing and was found dead later and she was so anxious the days leading up to my birth (probably not very healthy) and then AFTER my birth whej she got to hold me i lowkey wasnt breathing and i was just napping all the damn time and my parents were like woah this kid chill as hell!!!

And then apparently my mom had a fever and she called the doctor and was like “yo i have a fever like 45 degrees Celsius do i wait till it go down or do i hop in now?” And this doc was like “you stupid lady come in rigjt fucking now” and she went over and she mentioned that i was all chilled up n shit all the time and that i turned purple the other day and the doc stuck a Q tip up my nose and went to this machine and checked it and was like “go to the ER RIGHT NOW” anf she was like damn ok waddup.

And them docs were liek “yo we gotta put this kid in a coma to help his breathjing” and my mom fraaked out big time cuz she thought i was boutta die and my entire extended family+family friends prayed for me apparently and my fuckass was foaming at tye mouth n shit.

Also apparently (i gotta stop saying apparently)(anf why am i on a yapstreak)(my mom is telling the story live)(she just showed us a pic of me((baby)) drinkng from a plastic cup and my sister called me an alcoholic at birth) the reason why i got sixk was bc my older sisters got to hold me after i was born and some ratass COUGHED ON ME

This is how i feel taking screenshots of like everyhting so that i can keep looking at it ^^^^

I fucking hate Starscreams design in tfp they did him so dirty idek what to point out bro its all bad his face his mouth his lack of a nose his freaky eyes his weird red antenna his bald head his grey ass body his fucking hands he has cunty heels but i dont like the shape it looks like a kindergarden chair dipped in grey paint his ugly shoulders his exposed organs lookin ahh stomach his weird ass knees?? The fuck are up w them anyways like literally his whole design pisses me off

Fuckkkk i just rememebrrd i need to add more somgs to my fuckass little mp3 player cuz they dont allow phones in my school(wackass school i hate this place bro im lucky as hell i ahvent gotten beaten up yet) and my pc gonna have spotify blocked while we have tests so i gotta listen to my (not up to date) stinky little mp3 layer

Why the hell is there jazz in my ears i did NOT add this to my playlist i say five secodns beforw rralizing that im listening to the fuckass spotify weekly discover

Gng i complained to my dad that i wish i was over 18 so that i could just drink a beer whenever and he showed me the beer he was holding and pointed to the text where it said “0.0 alcohol” and was like “do you wang a taste? It tastes like shit just so h know”

Sometimes i see some art and im like “woah super cool!” And then i recognize the artstyle as that one artist who headcanoned jotakak so hard they turned into ocs

Atleast☝️ it looks less absurd than tfp starscream

I know he looks like a dorito but he also looks like an ugly fuckass bird which is better than looking lik an uhlh fuckass sewer rat(tfp)

His hands are fucked up horribly but thats ok ig..🤧

Its better than that one pic of starscream tfp where his hands look like the hands of those monsters from fuckin…. Peregrine(orwhateverthefuck)’s house for peculiar children (the eye eating monsters) (they always scared me so bad) (first time i watched it i had like 16 nughtmares) (tags are out of fashion) (rise of parenthesis)

I love jodio

life