Me: My Wife? That Old Ball And Chain?

superheroes are so weak. “keeping my identity a secret is so hard :/” to YOU. my parents dont even know what type of music i like.

Puki tell us it's all gonna be fine

It always is, it always will be. We outlived the dinosaurs, we outlived that damned meteor, that damned ice age. Pompeii? Don't worry about it.

"the four horsemen of the apocalypse" would be a beautiful name for a polycule

vegans making honey a bee labour issue is the funniest thing imaginable because like, you picked the one animal that has already unionised

bro stop being so verbose the hoes keep having to look up dictionary definitions every time they talk to you

Iceland is fucking bizarre my name change made the news

branch: let it never be forgotten that my brother bruce is 13 years older than me, and when he went off to college i was deeply entrenched in my "the little mermaid" obsession, and when he and a group of friends went out to a karaoke place, there was a group of girls having fun singing disney songs and my brother got up and busted out a perfect rendition of "under the sea" and long story short i was the reason my brother met his wife brandy.

bruce: best wingman ever