Make A List Of Non-negotiables In Your Partner. I'm Not Joking Either. Make A List Of Non-negotiables.

Make a list of non-negotiables in your partner. I'm not joking either. Make a list of non-negotiables. Make a list of things you will not do for your partner with the following categories: Never-Dos, Will Not Do Before A Label, Will Not Do Before Rings, Will Not Do Without Marriage. Make a list of must haves and nice to haves as well as the inverse of must nots and should nots. If you want, break it down into categories of men: Male Friends, Men For Casual Dating, Men for Long Term Relationships, Husband Material. Don't even bother dating without building a solid network of platonic, mentorship, and familial relationships. Your familial relationships can absolutely be found family rather than blood, but ensure you have a strong social network foundation before getting into dating. Get comfortable being single, and if a man is having a negative affect on your quality of life rather than a positive one, drop him. Remember that men are on their best behavior for the first 3 months, and if there are problems before that, those problems will be significantly worse. Don't have fuck buddies, and if you do, don't develop feelings for your fuck buddies, and if you do, stop having sex with that fuck buddy. Do not chase these men. They are not worth it. The right men will work their ass off to be with you, and will do the work necessary to be with you if you call them on their shit and send them away to fix it. Do not be someone who's bar is in hell. These are grown ass adults and need to behave as such.

I sincerely don't want to get involved in the celibacy discourse but I will say this as a 35 year old bisexual woman. If you are a woman in your twenties who is attracted to men: Do not chase a man. Any man. Under any circumstances. He isn't special. There will be others. In chasing him, you will lose yourself.

warmly,

auntie Shellstrop