I Want An Episode Of The X-men As A Sitcom, But Like A Live Infront Of A Studio Audience Sitcom. Like

Musicals reviewed by someone who knows absolutely nothing about musical theater

Newsies: Yes that 30 year old man is definitely a 17 year old boy

Dear Evan Hansen: Wait did he really just use the death of her brother to get in her pants?

Be More Chill: oh my god we get it he masturbates

Heathers: don’t you just hate it when your boyfriend turns out to be a sociopath

Mean Girls: It’s literally Heather’s but less blood and a hotter villain

Legally Blonde: the only musical ever I do not take criticism

Phantom of the Opera: Dramatic ass bitches the musical

Hamilton: absolutely not, this musical fills me with rage and I cannot explain why

Spring Awakening: don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die

Beetlejuice: oh my god we get it they’re dead

Les Miserables: hon hon hon oui oui baguette also I guess there’s a revolution? I don’t know I’ve never seen it

Wicked: Wizard of Oz but Lesbian flavored

Into The Woods: oh my god we get it they’re in the woods

Waitress: there is no joke it’s a lovely show highly recommend

Fun Home: Daddy issues but lesbian flavored

Hairspray: am I the only one who thinks the way Link talks about her is kinda weird???

Six: Hamilton wishes it had what this has

Little Shop of Horrors: I cannot belive this show ends with all of the main characters getting vored

Shrek: literally no one asked for this but it somehow exceeds all expectations

Sweeney Todd: the music is honestly great but we need to talk about how bad the blood looks in the movie oh my god

West Side Story: I can’t think about this without thinking about “POISON BOOTS” also holy shit the percussion in this show deserves its own production

Hadestown: this is the alto and bass representation we needed

Frozen: I am not and will never be emotionally prepared for Frozen 2 the musical please don’t make me

neighbours au

LES AMIS

enjolras

grantaire

combeferre

courfeyrac

jean prouvaire

joly

marius

feuilly

lesgle “bossuet”

bahorel

•

just a helpful guide to learn which character is which! it took me quite a while to get all their names down :-)

Every team-red mission be like

enough w/ everyone saying loki x sylvie is selfcest it’s literally masturbation

enjoltaire fic idea

(ik it’s wrong, it’s just a first draft)

enjolras starts out as political activist in the same way that lindsay bluth is from, “arrested development.” until he meets his first love, who shows him true faith & passion. eventually their relationship ends somehow, (i haven’t figured it out yet, but i’m thinking something tragic.)

then flash forward to a few months, or years into the les amis. he knows about grantaire’s feelings, & grantaire is doing that’s thing, that for some reason, guys do in tv shows where he’s trying to convince the girl, (well in this case the guy, but u all know what i mean,) to fall for him, & it kinda works after a little while. but enjorlas is confused by his attraction to grantaire, because he’s so different from the guys he’s dated before. he even feels ashamed that he could ever fall for someone like grantaire.

then he, “realizes,” that he must do the same thing to grantaire that his first lover had done to him. r thinks of it as just some playful banter, & their relationship evolves into something more serious.

r takes enjorlas to go stargazing one night, upon a beautiful hill covered with hyacinths. grantaire throws down a blanket right by a laurel tree. they look towards the stars. enjorlas’ pale golden ringlets lay within correspondence of one another, upon grantaire’s chest. r plays w/ each curls whilst expressing his adoring love for this beam of warmth & light, composed of a flaming crimson. finally resting his powers upon a cynic’s heart. not even truly saying the phrase, for it had felt almost as another breath. something he hadn’t the need to think about, something that was just done, “i love you, enjolras.” that’s how you knew if he was serious, if grantaire ever used the name engolras, which was infact an absurdly rare occasion. as brown met blue, with the slight upwards tilt of thou’s blonde head, the secrets in which it had been keeping began to spring out. “as do i for you.” although the cynic was poor, he had felt the power of all the king’s riches in his possession; once having seen that slight, yet enriching smile spread across a prophet’s face. “even though your progress aa been stunted due to your cynicism. i am willing help as we claw our way through, & i am extatic for the end result”

“my progress?”

“why yes, you’re progress.”

“enjorlas, what do you mean by my progress?!” enj could have sworn he had seen the flowers wilt, & the tree branches shake, as result of grantaire’s anger. “well, i thought i could help with create an exponential growth in your faith, your faith of the cause.” you could see the sense of betrayal consume r’s eyes, “i-i should’ve known,” that same betrayal had spread, creating a ripple through his voice, “i knew this was all too good to be true!” “how could i have let myself believe that you would ever truly be attracted to me?”

“no r, it’s not like that!”

“what then? what was this some beauty & the beast stalkholme syndrome bull crap? you know, you can leave the flat whenever you’d like! no one is keeping you there! you’re the one who insists on staying put to work on the cause, not me, not combferre, not couferyac, just you!”

“taire, you don’t understand!”

“i’m not your test subject, enjorlas! i’m not your next project!”

“r, you where born broken, & you don’t know how to work fixed. i just want to help you, & show you.”

“broken?” enjorlas had realized what he had done. his eyes widened with shock, as a result of his actions. “no no, not like that,” he started to stumble, “y-you know what i mean.”

“oh ya, i know exactly what you mean. oh & by the way, dr. enjorlas. you made an error in your last report,” “the patient’s faith did in-fact increase, it just wasn’t for the cause. it was for you.”

listen up my fellow les mis fans

look we love how george blagden ships enjoltaire but can we give some credit now to killian donnelly and fra fee for making THIS PHOTO:

like they werent a couple but they went out of their way to give us some freaking great courferre content

aah i love these boys <33333

Johnny: I just wanna sit on my boyfriends lap and make out with him and instead I have to do stupid crap like go to meetings and fight crime.

Hi there, as a Jew (who LOVES Les Mis) I thought I should add in to this discussion. Regarding the statement that Grantaire being Jewish is harmful, in all honestly you’re over thinking it, trust me. Most of the time whenever I see things relating to Grantaire being ugly it is usually him calling himself that, which for me (& a lot others) is a common way of looking at myself. Because of Conventional European Standards of Beauty Jews are not seen as conventionally attractive, which shows its effects in me whenever I look in the mirror. I end up suffering from derealization & all I can see is everything I am told not to be. Also Grantaire’s numbness to social justice is another thing a lot of Jews suffer from, due to the fact that no matter which side of the political spectrum you go on either way people still hate us. On the far right its just n@z!s & on the far left its just a bunch of people blaming us for the Israeli & Palestinian conflict. Not to mention the fact that there has literally been almost no progress made in ending anti-Semitism it just ends up going back to how it was after a few years. A lot of us don’t really feel safe on either side because both of the radicals hate us. However even though we haven’t been getting much (sometimes if any) help with our fight for equality we are still going to help others. A lot of Grantaire’s struggles do reflect a lot of struggles a good amount of Jews have to go through has well. For me the hc of Grantaire being Jewish is very important to me. Considering the best representation we have (that I can think of off the top of my head) is Puckerman from Glee, oh god plz let us have Grantaire lol. Also regarding the nose thing, the more we normalize different noses the less likely a lot of Jews are to feel insecure about, but the making his nose cartoonishly abnormal is a lil problematic. However I do think we should normalize “uglier” traits outside of race/ethnic stereotypes, I just don't think it should start with Grantaire. 

Jewish Grantaire really gets me. I say we should have ugly Grantaire!!! I'm an ugly person! I don't think that's a bad word, it's of my personal opinion we shod destigmatize it, not attach morals to it, but that's my own rant. BUT. Having the ugly canon character be fat and Jewish? Why are you thinking of those traits as ugly?

GOD anon i have,,,,,, so many thinks and thots about “ugliness”??? I’m torn between LET CHARACTERS BE UGLY and THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS UGLY, ONLY NOT MEETING CONVENTIONAL STANDARDS OF EUROPEAN BEAUTY!! (Also, pop OFF abt that ugliness =/= morals rant, if you ever flesh it out send it MY WAY)

But until we can de-colonize the beauty industry, YEAH. UGLY RIGHTS. I’m ugly! It be like that! It’s not a bad thing! But It’s when we do things like equate ugliness to racial/ethnic/cultural stereotypes (for example, by equating characters described as ugly as Black, or Jewish, or any marginalized race/ethnicity) is when shit gets real harmful. Like you said, anon, “Why are you thinking of those traits as ugly?”

(Also, WOW, I have not taken the time to fully consider the harmful stereotypes of Jewish Grantaire. R’s thing with his nose, Fat R - not inherently ugly things in the slightest! great things to represent! But we have to ask ourselves why we don’t represent those things outside of the races/ethnicities they’re stereotypically linked with. ) 

my heart literally just imploded

Grantaire rested his head against Enjolras’s shoulder. “Do you think we’re like Jack and Rose?”

Enjolras didn’t look up from his phone. “Jack and who?”

“Jack and Rose,” Grantaire repeated, and when Enjolras didn’t answer, he added helpfully, “Like from Titanic.”

Now Enjolras did look up, and even though Grantaire couldn’t see him from his angle, he could hear the scowl in his voice. “Why in the name of all that is holy—”

“It was just the anniversary of the sinking!” Grantaire said with a laugh. “And so Joly, Bossuet and I got stoned and watched the movie.”

Enjolras sighed. “I should have known.” He kissed the top of Grantaire’s head before asking, “So are you Kate Winslet or Leo in whatever scenario you’ve cooked up in your head?”

Grantaire sat up, frowning. “That’s not a fair question. I’m not as hot as Leo and your tits aren’t nearly as magnificent as Kate Winslet’s.”

“I’ll allow it.”

Grantaire cleared his throat. “Anyway, where I was really going with this is that you were born with a silver spoon—”

“Gold-plated stainless steel, if you want to be specific,” Enjolras murmured.

“—shoved all the way up your ass, and I’m just a lower class kid from the street who got in your pants by drawing you.”

Enjolras snorted. “Firstly, you grew up thoroughly middle class and your poverty is mostly of your own making.”

“Harsh, but fair.”

“Secondly,” Enjolras continued, “you didn’t get in my pants by drawing me. You got invited to join Les Amis by drawing me in a political cartoon that we used for advertising. It took several more years for you to get into my pants, and I don’t recall much drawing being involved.”

Grantaire smirked. “Well maybe not with a pencil, but if I need to remind you what I can do with my tongue—”

“Does this Titanic-related metaphor of yours have a point?” Enjolras interrupted, his voice slightly higher-pitched than usual.

Grantaire just shrugged. “Mostly that I thought it would be a good backdoor into asking you to let me draw you naked.”

“No.”

If Grantaire was disappointed, he didn’t show it. “You say that now, but you know you’re dying to say it.”

Enjolras’s eyes narrowed. “Say what?”

Grantaire leaned in so that his lips brushed against Enjolras’s ear as he whispered, “Draw me like one of your French girls.”

Enjolras laughed, pushing him away. “Absolutely not.”

“Shame,” Grantaire said, laughing as well. “Figured it couldn’t hurt to ask, though.”

Enjolras shook his head affectionately, and picked his phone up again. “For the record,” he said casually, “if you were Jack, and I was Rose, we’d either both find a way to be on that door, or we’d both freeze to death together.”

Grantaire blinked. “Really?”

Enjolras glanced up at him. “You jump, I jump, remember?”

A slow smile spread across Grantaire’s face. “You saying you’d die for me?”

Enjolras rolled his eyes. “I’m saying I’d rather die with you than live without you.”

But Grantaire didn’t seem to have heard him. “You’d die for me,” he said, beaming.

“Only you would find that romantic,” Enjolras murmured. “I, for one, would much rather we live for each other than die for each other.”

Grantaire rested his head against Enjolras’s shoulder, still smiling. “I already do.”