Latest Posts by darken-sunshine - Page 8
Steph: Tim and Kon, sittin in a tree.
Dick: K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
Kon: for the last time, Tim and I have never made out!
Tim: It was just mouth-to-mouth!
Steph: wait
Tim: oops
Dick: are you saying that you have put your mouth on Kon's?
Damian: don't be vulgar, Grayson
Tim: yeah, okay, Kon SAVING MY LIFE is not making out
Cass: awww, you save each other!
Kon: we're teammates. it's what we do.
Cassie: he never gave ME mouth-to-mouth....
Kon: you never needed it!
Duke: how do you....even know mouth-to-mouth?
Kon: all heroes should know it!
Kara: yeah okay but who taught you?
Kon: I learned in the Teen Titans
Cassie: Teen Titans never taught me....just saying...
Kon: stop being gross!
Dick: Are you saying that being gay is gross, because if so, I am very disappointed in you--
Kon: THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID
Jason: 's what it sounded like
Tim: Kon calling people who are gay gross would be hypocritical
Steph: and why is that, Timbo?
Tim: uh
Kon: I'm bi, okay?????
Kara: interesting. And how does Tim know this?
Tim: we're friends. We talk.
Steph: let me guess. It's 3 am, neither of you can sleep, Kon creeps into Tim's room--
Kara: Kon sits on the end of Tim's bed, they stare into each other's eyes--
Cassie: Kon says, softly, staring at the moonlight lighting up Tim's face--
Duke: "I'm bi, Tim."
Dick: "Bi....for YOU."
Tim: THAT NEVER HAPPENED
Steph: sureeeeeeee it didn't
Donna: that's how Dick came out as pan to me
Dick: sort of. I mean, I didn't say I was pan for her, but there was the moonlight, and the beds, and the 3 am part--
Damian: that never happened, Grayson
Donna: oh yeah it did, punk
Jon: I wish I had a friend I was that close to
Kara: why, Jonno? you got something to tell us?
Jon: No! I just wish I had a good friend...
Steph: Damian, you're such a terrible person, look at his little face
Damian: how is this about me, now? I thought we were talking about Drake and the clone!
Cass: we can talk about both
Jon: no, no, it's not Damian's fault--
Jason: that he's a little punk? yeah, it is
Damian: can we please go back to talking about Drake and the clone's mating habits?
Tim: JAY HOW DID YOU COME OUT AS BI?
Jason: walked up to the guy, made out with him, and said "hey, Roy, I'm bi" and he said, "That's funny, your pants were saying--"
Kara: OKAY JASON THERE ARE SMALL EARS HERE
Damian: Danvers is right, nobody wants to hear about you and Harper's disgusting habits
Steph: right, let's talk about CASS and Harper's disgusting habits!
Cass: Harper Row is the most beautiful girl to ever exist.
Steph, Tim, Kara, Dick: awwwwwwww
Duke: this doesn't mean you're off the hook, Timberly
Tim: suRE IT DOES!!!
Cass: no, I'm pretty sure we never learned where Kon learned CPR
Kon: Tim taught me, okay????????????????
Dick: I KNEW IT!!!
Steph: did you make out??
Kara: was it romantic??
Tim: NO!! We used a dummy, just like how we learned it with Batman!
Cass: oh
Donna: boring
Cassie: I expected more from you
Barbara: If it helps, I found footage of them on a rooftop last week....
Tim: NO NO NO
Kon: THAT NEVER HAPPENED
Steph: BABS MY HERO LET ME SEE
Tim: NOOOOOOOO
[everything descends into chaos]
Bruce: You asked why we never have family get-togethers, Clark. This. This is why.
Clark: I'll admit I wasn't, uh, expecting that. At all.
Diana, eating popcorn: I was!
Hi, new DC fan here and there’s so much romantic and sexual tension between Dick and Wally that I was really surprised to find out they aren’t canon. Like really?
i don’t take criticism but i do take tips
Hi, new DC fan here and there’s so much romantic and sexual tension between Dick and Wally that I was really surprised to find out they aren’t canon. Like really?
i don’t take criticism but i do take tips
Hi, new DC fan here and there’s so much romantic and sexual tension between Dick and Wally that I was really surprised to find out they aren’t canon. Like really?
i don’t take criticism but i do take tips
Hi, new DC fan here and there’s so much romantic and sexual tension between Dick and Wally that I was really surprised to find out they aren’t canon. Like really?
i don’t take criticism but i do take tips
Hi, new DC fan here and there’s so much romantic and sexual tension between Dick and Wally that I was really surprised to find out they aren’t canon. Like really?
i don’t take criticism but i do take tips
Hi, new DC fan here and there’s so much romantic and sexual tension between Dick and Wally that I was really surprised to find out they aren’t canon. Like really?
i don’t take criticism but i do take tips
Hi, new DC fan here and there’s so much romantic and sexual tension between Dick and Wally that I was really surprised to find out they aren’t canon. Like really?
i don’t take criticism but i do take tips
Hi, new DC fan here and there’s so much romantic and sexual tension between Dick and Wally that I was really surprised to find out they aren’t canon. Like really?
i don’t take criticism but i do take tips
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken So I hung my head and I cried
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken So I hung my head and I cried
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken So I hung my head and I cried
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken So I hung my head and I cried
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken So I hung my head and I cried
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken So I hung my head and I cried
The other night dear, as I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken So I hung my head and I cried
bruce: report, where are each of you
*silence*
bruce: alright i'm turning on your comms manually
tim: uh hullo mr wayne this is conner on tim's comm, we really think it'd be best if ya don't turn on tim's comm for an hour or so if you know what i- *off*
*comms open manually*
dick: yeah hi, how many patties can you fit on one burger? 10? is that really it or are you bullshitting me BECAUSE I KNOW YO- *off*
jason: yes you're a pretty gun. yes you are! who is my favorite gun? you are! *off*
damian: i'm going to name you batchicken
bruce: DAMIAN NO
damian: *smashes comm*
bruce: goddammit why do i do this to myself, maybe steph and cass will be better
steph: okay cass so i think the best first lesbian bar is- *off*
bruce: hi, alfred, i'm so sorry for everything
i feel like at one point in time, bruce had to hold an intervention for his kids to emphasize WE HAVE CODE NAMES FOR A REASON because dick keeps calling damian “baby bat” when they’re out in the field, jason keeps calling dick “dickwad” and tim “replacement” and damian “demon” so on and so forth.
bruce’s breaking point was when during an all-hands-on-deck alien invasion situation, conner yelled “babe! behind you!” when an alien was coming at tim. now, this wouldn’t have gotten to bruce as much if, after tim took down the alien, kon hadn’t flown over to tim, kissed him while the fighting continued to rage behind them, then shouted “you’re really hot when you kick ass!” as he flew back into battle.
so bruce held an intervention.
the supers were in attendance as well because (1) the babe incident, (2) jon keeps calling damian “d” on the field, which leads bruce to (3) clark needs to teach his damn kid to use HIS kid’s damn codenames.
the intervention kinda backfired though. as soon as bruce started chewing them out, jason interjected with an itemized list of the times bruce had called him “jaybird” or “jaylad” in the field. dick joined in, claiming bruce had called him “chum” in the field more times than he could count, and apparently it wasn’t too unusual for bruce to call tim or damian “son” or “kiddo” during patrol
eventually, the intervention that bruce had planned turned into his kids roasting him while the supers sat back and watched
damian always did like copying his heroes ft. every other superhero family who is tired of the waynes’ bullshit
[Caught by Penguin's goons and tied to chairs in a warehouse, waiting for the cavalry]
Red Robin: I'm gonna say it. Shakespeare is overrated.
Red Hood: Ok, first of all: how dare you. Second of all: how DARE you?
Red Robin: He's boring and Romeo and Juliet is ridiculous bullshit.
Red Hood: Counterpoint. Romeo and Juliet was always meant to be satire and if you read it with the knowledge that teenagers are idiots it's actually a fantastic, mean commentary on teenage romance.
Red Robin: The only way I'll accept that argument is if he was purposefully making fun of a particular pair of teenagers that he knew in real life and "Romeo and Juliet" was really Shakespeare being petty and mocking his cousin or something.
Red Hood: You- yeah that would be great actually.
Red Robin: Right? Still, my original point stands: Shakespeare is given way too much credit. So he invented some words. big whoop.
Red Hood: He basically invented the English language!
Red Robin: He better have considering the lenght of some of the monologues.
Red Hood: Look, thanks to Shakespeare we get to study dick jokes in school. There are so many dick jokes! How can you NOT like him?
Red Robin: One would think you'd be over Dick jokes, growing up in our family.
Red Hood: Well where do you think I get most of my material??
Red Robin: I'll concede that Macbeth is okay, but the rest of his tragedies? I mean, Hamlet? More like Ham-let-me-out-of-this-AP-English-class
Red Hood: One, that was sub-par and I expect better from you. Two; are you seriously going after HAMLET?
Red Robin: [snorts] Of COURSE you would enjoy a play about a death-obsessed dude with daddy issues and a thirst for revenge.
Red Hood: OK, POINT! But I'm still HELLA insulted. And Shakespeare is a master at exploring the human condition!
Red Robin: [rolls his eyes]
Red Hood: [to one of the Henchmen guarding them] Hey, you! With the ski-mask and bad enough judgement to wear sneakers to a gunfight!
Henchman: Uh... yea?
Red Hood: Back me up here. Shakespeare is a cultural icon.
Henchman: well, uh, he always kinda bored me in school
Red Robin: A-HA!
Red Hood: Oh shut up. Since when are Penguin's goons the go-to authority on literature
Red Robin: Since Shakespeare gets way too much credit because of fanboys like you.
Red Hood: Says the man who CRIED about the Hobbit movies. Several times.
Red Robin: THEY RUINED IT. EXCELLENT PRECEDENCE, EXCELLENT SOURCE MATERIAL AND THEY-
Boss Henchman: [barges in] what the fuck is going on in here? Who's making so much fucking noise?
Red Hood: [inclines his head towards Red Robin] Red Robin here thinks Shakespeare is overrated.
Boss Henchman: [immidiately involved] YOU'RE INSULTING THE BARD? HE BASICALLY INVENTED THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
Red Hood: [mimicking Red Robin] A-HA!
Red Robin: Look, if you want to stan an author who made a comedy about gaslighting and subjugating a woman through marriage be my guest but I'm different
Boss Henchman: That's a bullshit argument
Henchman #2 -a woman: Nah, he's got a legit point.
Red Robin: Thank you!
Red Hood: One bad play doesn't mean you can diminish the impact of his work as a whole
Red Robin: Oh CAN'T I?
Boss Henchman: I will not stand here and see the Bard slighted in my own house- warehouse- whatever!
-----20 minutes later-----
Boss Henchman: -HISTORICAL CONTEXT
Red Robin: SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING A SEXIST APOLOGIST WOULD SAY
Red Hood: THAT'S NOT EVEN-
-----40 minutes later-----
Boss Henchman: SHAKESPEARE SHOWED ME THAT WORDS CAN BE BEAUTIFUL
Henchman #1: I WENT TO AN ALL BOYS SCHOOL!! THEY MADE ME PLAY JULIET DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH SHIT I GOT ON THE STREETS
-----70 minutes later-----
Red Hood: YOUNG LEONARDO DI CAPRIO WAS A LEGIT SNACC AND IF YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE YOU'RE LYING
Red Robin: SO WATCH GANGS OF NEW YORK AT LEAST THAT'S INTERESTING
-----90 minutes later-----
Red Robin: THE FUCKING BARREL SCENE!! WHAT EVEN WAS THAT?!!
-----2 hours later-----
Red Hood: HE TAUGHT HISTORY TO THE MASSES!
Red Robin: HE TAUGHT ME HOW TO SLEEP IN CLASS WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT IS WHAT HE DID
-----2,5 hours later-----
Boss Henchman: [pointing a gun at Henchman #1] HOW DARE YOU CALL OTHELLO A LI'L BITCH-
Henchman #2: [Hits Boss Henchman over the head with a chair] JUSTICE FOR KATHERINA
Red Robin: [Cheering] GET HIM, SUSAN
-----4 hours later-----
------The Batcave------
Bruce: [tiredly, rubbing the bridge of his nose] Ok, tell me again how you managed to escape.
Tim and Jason: [glancing at each other]
Tim: First off, I'd like to state for the record that we had everything perfectly under control.
I FRICKIN LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
My comic for @thebookoflovezine vol. 2!
Thank you to everyone who ordered a copy! This was so much fun to draw and be a part of!! Love these two 🥰💕
Bruh my family is that loud 2 XD
Is it noticeable that I’m weak for characters wearing each others clothes…?
James: *from upstairs* DAAAAAAAAAAAD!
Harry: *in the kitchen* What?!
James: I just thought of something!!!!!
Harry: And?!
James: When I marry Teddy, I’m gonna take his last name! That way I’ll be three Mauraders in one!
Harry: *audibly choking on his coffee*
James: Get it?! James Sirius Lupin! I’ll be all three, dad! Dad, aren’t you excited?!
Albus: *also upstairs in his bedroom* What the hell do you mean ‘when’ you marry him?!
James: Well who else am I gonna marry?! I gotta marry Teddy so I can be James Sirius Lupin! This isn’t rocket science, Al!
Albus: For the love of Salazar can you please shut the fuck up?!
Lily: *also in her bedroom upstairs* I think it sounds like a great idea!
James: Right?! I’m gonna be James Sirius Lupin!
Albus: This family is falling into fucking anarchy!!!!
James: Shut up, Albus Severus Malfoy!
*later*
Ginny: *arriving home* Hey honey, sorry I’m late, I had to edit- why are you on the floor?
Harry: *lying on his back on the floor, staring at the ceiling* I have made a grave mistake in my choice of names for our children.