Darthvoxpo - Refugee From The Great Twitter War

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around Men at Arms.

It's a fantastic book, but it is also so different from Guards! Guards! in tone. And maybe that's where the key is. It's not that the villain of the story is perhaps one of the most proficient killers in all of Discworld (all two and a half of them... D'Eath, Cruces, and The Gonne) and their goal is to actually kill. It's not even that the crimes that the watch are investigating are murder, because even though paid assassinations are legal death and murder are part of the setting. Death is literally a character here, though much more briefly than G!G!. Frankly, I don't even think it's because of the racial allegories.

The tone in Men at Arms is different because the first one to die is a clown. Because Pratchett literally killed the joke (the entire thing and all of its subsets). There's nothing funny about a clown funeral, the dogs are the biggest allegory for racial issues, a gun really is evil, Cuddy literally draws the short straw. It's all literal. Everything is extremely literal. For once, Ankh Morpork isn't a joke. For once, the city feels like a city. And it's the book where Carrot, the most literal character there is, becomes a man (literally and in every sense) and takes his mantle of leadership.

Everything in Men at Arms is literal. Because the villain killed the joke to death and it was the shining moment for Carrot to step up.

There's also an extensive running bit that even the silly construction of the silly, courtesy of Bloody Stupid Johnson, is actually stupid. Within the narrative itself, the book is calling itself out. It is saying that this absurd veneer that we have found ourselves on is just that. This city was built on itself, on its own bones, on the the bones of empires--fueled with the blood of many. The architecture beneath Johnson's flawed works, the aqueducts and sewer systems below the city, are vast and strong and powerful--maybe even beautiful. But they're dangerous. The past is incredibly dangerous. Even Carrot, whose potential is very much rooted in the past of the city, is dangerous. His victory is not one I expected in the moment it came. The line about how you must hope that whoever is looking at you from the other end of their weapon is an evil man... Was harsh and true and honestly a little frightening for a story which also contains a scene where a sentient rock man chucks a dwarf through the skylight of Schrodinger's pork warehouse to save both of their lives.

Perhaps this puts the rest of the book in context as well. Especially the things that made me cringe when I read them. Like everything about Coalface, Angua being included in the story because she was a woman and every book needs at least one (preferably one that can leap over a building or deadlift a draft horse), the high school clique-ificarion of all the guilds, Vimes talkin to the nobles after dinner and almost letting himself believe he could be like that (even though he ends up laying into them with some excellent biting sarcasm), Vetinari not being in control and not realizing it. It's all very real, but real like a real serial killer in real life and not a crime drama. Maybe even real like a normal guy in a costume with their mask off.

Maybe not.

It's not a perfect book (which bites, because G!G! was nearly there), but it remains a very intentional book. I feel like less people have read it than G!G!, and I can see why. It's messier, it's not as funny, there's a lot more allegory and it's a lot more blunt.

But it's still extremely topical (sadly). I retain my opinion that it may be one of the most important books I've ever read. And I'm beginning to understand, finally, why.

A sudden, terrifying thought

When you see an animal with its eyes set to the front, like wolves, or humans, that’s usually a predator animal.

If you see an animal with its eyes set farther back, though—to the side—that animal is prey.

Now look at this dragon.

See those eyes?

They’re to the SIDE.

This raises an interesting—and terrifying—question.

What in the name of Lovecraft led evolution to consider DRAGONS…

As PREY?

They also teach you not to give off serial killer vibes and he didn't listen to that either

lmao

when people say kylo ren (as ben solo i guess) was representation for those who have been abused and manipulated as children, and that’s why he shouldn’t have died bc it showed that people who faced abuse can’t have happy endings, i feel sorry for them. like truly, i’m sorry that you feel like your only representation for someone who was abused as a child is the white fascist who spent years murdering innocent people while being unable to sympathize with finn, who was abused, manipulated, brainwashed and did have a happy ending.

tldr: kylo ren is not the abused child representation that you think he is, not when finn exists

on september 11th 2001, two planes crashed into the world trade centre in new york city. It was a massacre. 3000 dead in a matter of 24 hours. the entire world was in shock of the atrocity, the brutal, diabolical murder of scores of innocents. 

the american government reacted accordingly. a full investigation was launched to hold the culprits responsible – what nation could have sanctioned such a brutal attack on so many innocents? what kind of soulless country could, regardless of vendetta, allow such a heinous crime? 

by 2002, the united states had their answer. the investigation was complete. A 600 page document known as the Congressional Report on 9/11 was released. approx 20 pages detailing the workings of the nation responsible were produced. The report was published. 

Except the name of the country responsible for 9/11 was redacted in the report. blackened out with a sharpie. It would remain redacted for 14 years. The country in question? Saudi Arabia. 

Instead of declaring to the world who was involved in orchestrating 9/11, the u.s. would hide this information for over a decade. 

Instead, they would point fingers at Iraq, whilst knowing that iraq had nothing to do with the attack in the first place. They would orchestrate journalistic propaganda in the new york times about “weapons of mass destruction” – a narrative that had been proven false by their very own intelligence officers, a narrative that had been shot down by every journalist that had ever stepped foot in Niger (where the purported ingredients of mass destruction were coming from). Regardless, the New York Times would dutifully publish the perverted stories anyway. NYT editors would say “to not invade iraq is the bigger mistake”. 

In 2003, the months of building up false stories in the media, propaganda in every mainstream newspaper, journal and t.v. show would pay off. The u.s. would invade iraq. 

from 2003 -  2011 the country of iraq would be brutalized in ways never seen before by mankind. modern, 21st century warfare would decimate the very spirit of iraq. at least 460 000 innocent, iraqi civilians murdered in 8 years. entire generations were wiped out in less than a decade. we will never know their names. 

waves of sexual violence committed upon “captured” cities ensued at the hands of american soldiers. many of the survivors, if not dead at the hands of their occupiers, would take their own lives. we will never know their names. 

in 2011, the blood in iraq is finally dry. we’ve leeched all of it. we’ve procured the natural resources we came for – it’s time to head out. the so called WMD we came for were never found, they did not exist, they were never real to begin with. A far cry from how things got started, we start seeing articles about the falsehood of the iraq war. the same publishers who willingly handed out propaganda to the masses about WMD in Saddam’s hands are now saying “wait…we’ve made an error.” the narrative shifts. the occupation ends 3 years after a new commander in chief is granted the power to end it. in its wake we leave behind military bases and mercenaries that are ready to activate whenever called upon. 

That same year, the u.s. supports various popular movements across the arab world. tens of regimes are flipped. 

and in that same year, using the same weapons left behind by valiant american rapists and invaders, an army of another kind of mercenaries is born. they call themselves ISIL, then ISIS. 

ISIS vows to cleanse the muslim world of shia muslims, minority sect muslims, christians, yezidis, Jewish people. ISIS also vows they are enemies of the u.s. America vows vice versa. Their feud is a celebrated one. ISIS, the evil nemesis of the Brave & Courageous America. 

But then, 2012 happens. America, losing their influence and control over the levant, start funding ISIS factions. America starts funding Al-Qaeda factions. 

The same NYT that once convinced us that Iraq had WMD is now INSISTING that these al-qaeda factions, that themselves claim to be brothers of al-qaeda, are moderate rebels simply looking for democracy and liberation. people believe it. 

America’s proxies in the levant go on to destroy the region in unimaginable ways–and then, 2018 happens. 

Iraqis & Iranians destroy ISIS. Indisputably, action from both nations led to the destruction of ISIS, now a paid member of the U.S. military. America, once using ISIS and AQ factions to regain control over the levant struggles to position themselves as the heroes – attempting pathetically to play both sides of the same coin. Again, the same way outlets like NYT backtracked their Iraq war propaganda, they start apologizing for identical mistakes in naming actual american funded terrorists as “freedom fighters.” another cycle ends. 

ISIS is gone, but the real loss is America’s. They’ve lost the barbaric feudalistic control they once held in the region via ISIS and Al-Qaeda. Their terrorist assets have been reduced to ashes by a people they once themselves invaded from 2003 - 2011.

This brings us to today. The united states has assassinated Qassem Soleimani, Iran’s second in command. this is akin to another nation murdering the likes of mike pence, joe biden or dick cheney. it is an act of war. 4000 troops have been deployed to the Iraq-Iran region. It is an invasion. 

And just as in 2003 the NYT & MSM justified the faulty invasion of iraq, and just as in 2012 the NYT & MSM justified the funding of ISIS & AQ factions, in 2020, a new propaganda will circulate to justify the illegal assassination of sovereign leaders. 

New propaganda will circulate to justify a new era of bloodshed in Iraq & Iran and the rape and murder of innocents.  New propaganda will vilify young, brown children as terrorists.  New propaganda will circulate to return us to the year 2003. 

There is nothing I can do within my capacity to help anyone. I am completely useless in saving any of the lives that will be taken in the next several years. 

All I can do is ask that when you see a piece of information that attempts to justify the actions of the u.s. on foreign soil, in any foreign nation, that you reduce it to ashes. They lied to you in 2003, they did it again in 2011, they are doing it again in 2020. 

Reject the lie. It’s all we can do. 

Another tidbit of Mando lore;

Mandalorians quickly figured out that Jedi mostly view blaster fire as “fun lightsaber practice”.

During the Mando-Jedi wars, they dealt with this in characteristically practical fashion; they used slugthrowers (aka ordinary firearms) instead, because if a Jedi tries to deflect a regular bullet, what happens is “A bunch of bullet shrapnel to the Jedi’s face.”

Please make a post about the story of the RMS Carpathia, because it's something that's almost beyond belief and more people should know about it.

Carpathia received Titanic’s distress signal at 12:20am, April 15th, 1912. She was 58 miles away, a distance that absolutely could not be covered in less than four hours.

(Californian’s exact position at the time is…controversial. She was close enough to have helped. By all accounts she was close enough to see Titanic’s distress rockets. It’s uncertain to this day why her crew did not respond, or how many might not have been lost if she had been there. This is not the place for what-ifs. This is about what was done.)

Carpathia’s Captain Rostron had, yes, rolled out of bed instantly when woken by his radio operator, ordered his ship to Titanic’s aid and confirmed the signal before he was fully dressed. The man had never in his life responded to an emergency call. His goal tonight was to make sure nobody who heard that fact would ever believe it.

All of Carpathia’s lifeboats were swung out ready for deployment. Oil was set up to be poured off the side of the ship in case the sea turned choppy; oil would coat and calm the water near Carpathia if that happened, making it safer for lifeboats to draw up alongside her. He ordered lights to be rigged along the side of the ship so survivors could see it better, and had nets and ladders rigged along her sides ready to be dropped when they arrived, in order to let as many survivors as possible climb aboard at once.

I don’t know if his making provisions for there still being survivors in the water was optimism or not. I think he knew they were never going to get there in time for that. I think he did it anyway because, god, you have to hope.

Carpathia had three dining rooms, which were immediately converted into triage and first aid stations. Each had a doctor assigned to it. Hot soup, coffee, and tea were prepared in bulk in each dining room, and blankets and warm clothes were collected to be ready to hand out. By this time, many of the passengers were awake–prepping a ship for disaster relief isn’t quiet–and all of them stepped up to help, many donating their own clothes and blankets.

And then he did something I tend to refer to as diverting all power from life support.

Here’s the thing about steamships: They run on steam. Shocking, I know; but that steam powers everything on the ship, and right now, Carpathia needed power. So Rostron turned off hot water and central heating, which bled valuable steam power, to everywhere but the dining rooms–which, of course, were being used to make hot drinks and receive survivors. He woke up all the engineers, all the stokers and firemen, diverted all that steam back into the engines, and asked his ship to go as fast as she possibly could. And when she’d done that, he asked her to go faster.

I need you to understand that you simply can’t push a ship very far past its top speed. Pushing that much sheer tonnage through the water becomes harder with each extra knot past the speed it was designed for. Pushing a ship past its rated speed is not only reckless–it’s difficult to maneuver–but it puts an incredible amount of strain on the engines. Ships are not designed to exceed their top speed by even one knot. They can’t do it. It can’t be done.

Carpathia’s absolute do-or-die, the-engines-can’t-take-this-forever top speed was fourteen knots. Dodging icebergs, in the dark and the cold, surrounded by mist, she sustained a speed of almost seventeen and a half.

No one would have asked this of them. It wasn’t expected. They were almost sixty miles away, with icebergs in their path. They had a respondibility to respond; they did not have a responsibility to do the impossible and do it well. No one would have faulted them for taking more time to confirm the severity of the issue. No one would have blamed them for a slow and cautious approach. No one but themselves.

They damn near broke the laws of physics, galloping north headlong into the dark in the desperate hope that if they could shave an hour, half an hour, five minutes off their arrival time, maybe for one more person those five minutes would make the difference. I say: three people had died by the time they were lifted from the lifeboats. For all we know, in another hour it might have been more. I say they made all the difference in the world.

This ship and her crew received a message from a location they could not hope to reach in under four hours. Just barely over three hours later, they arrived at Titanic’s last known coordinates. Half an hour after that, at 4am, they would finally find the first of the lifeboats. it would take until 8:30 in the morning for the last survivor to be brought onboard. Passengers from Carpathia universally gave up their berths, staterooms, and clothing to the survivors, assisting the crew at every turn and sitting with the sobbing rescuees to offer whatever comfort they could.

In total, 705 people of Titanic’s original 2208 were brought onto Carpathia alive. No other ship would find survivors.

At 12:20am April 15th, 1912, there was a miracle on the North Atlantic. And it happened because a group of humans, some of them strangers, many of them only passengers on a small and unimpressive steam liner, looked at each other and decided: I cannot live with myself if I do anything less.

I think the least we can do is remember them for it.

Weapons from Celtic Myth

Celtic myth is wack, and the weapons are some of the weirdest stuff out there, so here’s a short list of my faves.

The Gae Bolg- The spear of Cú Chulainn. If you wash it in a stream before use and throw it from the foot, it extends barbs down every blood vessel in the victim’s body. You don’t remove the spear from the corpse so much as clean the corpse off of the spear. Very nasty.

The Spear of Lugh- This thing is so bloodthirsty that if you don’t keep it immersed in a bath of blood while it’s not in use, it’ll burst into flame and consume the blood of everyone nearby. Fortunately, if you don’t have enough blood to fill a bathtub, poppy juice will do.

Claíomh Solais, the Sword of Light- has seven edges. Emits blinding light.

Caladbolg- the sword of Fergus MacRoích. It leaves a rainbow trail when you swing it, and once lopped the tops of three mountains when Fergus missed a strike.

Fragarach, the Answerer- A sword that can cut through anything, inflict wounds that never heal, control the winds, and prevent people from lying when it’s pressed against their throat. That last one may not be a magic power per say.

Excalibur- You think you know it, but those basic boring Athurian Legends you’ve read don’t show off its best powers. In Welsh stories, this thing burns out the eyes of its wielder’s enemies, and cuts through anything that isn’t enchanted like a lightsaber.

If you know any others, feel free to add them!