“I’m Not A Robot”

P, pretty

I, intelligent

N, kneel to them before they

K, kill you in a snap

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Dad Bruce Wayne Headcanons-

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- Watches grass mowing YouTube videos. (Also power washing videos)

- All on full volume- ^^^

- While staying with the Kent's, he stood outside while a tornado was active and watched it. "What? Clark, if your dad says its safe to stand outside and watch then I wanna watch! You think tornados just touch down everyday in Gotham???"

- Does the grunt-sigh combo whenever he sits down in a chair. In or out of costume.

- Loud. Fucking. Sneezes. Once woke up the whole house at two am and he suddenly had 8+ armed people ready to slap a bitch in his bedroom before he could even blink because everyone had thought he was getting attacked.

- Takes his kids' phones and holds it right in front of his face to read something they're trying to show him because theiR ARMS ARE TOO SHAKY TO READ THE DARN THING-

- Forgets all of his kids' friend's names even though he's known them forever. "Oh, isn't Benjamin coming over today, Tim?" - "Bruce... are you talking about Bernard????"

- Tries to bond with his children by trying to understand their "youth culture". "How do you do my fellow teens?"

- He maybe banned from the kitchen, but not the grill. Man will gather enough people and associates and host a grill out in his backyard, inevitably making enough food to serve a whole army. Do not even attempt to stop him unless you want Alfred to gun you down- its how he gets out of the cave and socializes of his own free will and genuinely has a good time; no Alfred will not show you mercy when it comes to that.

I feel like Jason expresses his love for the family in some of the most subtle ways, things that could easily slip your mind if you weren't paying attention.

Alfred cooks dinner, and he finds Jason has already started on collecting empty dishes before he can take a single step out of the kitchen.

Damian comes inside from checking on batcow to find his colored pencils sharpened to a fine, razor-perfect point so he can go right back to what he was doing.

Bruce can't find his favorite mug, but when he comes down to the batcave, it's full of hot coffee and sitting on a coaster in its usual spot, except Alfred is still upstairs and has long given up trying to make him use a coaster.

Stephanie finds her phone on the charger beside her favorite spot on the couch because it died while she was talking to Cass.

Cass, for that matter, can't find her old headphones. However, she does find a new pair of noise-canceling ones in their spot. She doesn't remember buying these. She likes them.

Duke finds the book he was reading before having to rush out on morning patrol on the table, his place marked with a sticky note. Duke already knows who left it, but the sentiment is nice, so he doesn't say a word.

Tim wakes up on more than one occasion after falling asleep in the batcave post-patrol and finds a blanket around his shoulders. Not tucked too tight, less it trigger his claustrophobia, but just enough that it won't fall off. He doesn't know who keeps doing this. He thought it was Bruce at first, but even Bruce isn't that sneaky to get that close without Tim waking up. Not since Tim became extra flighty, at least.

Dick knows exactly why he gets random food delivered to his house sometimes. He knows Jason worries, and as much as Dick hates that he took after Bruce in that regard, he's glad Jason guilts him into remembering to eat from time to time. Dick, like Duke, doesn't say a word. If there's one thing he knows, its that there are some things you just don't talk about, for fear of upsetting the natural balance.

I don't know man, I just like the idea that one of Jason's characteristics is rarely directly showing he cares for his family, but all the work he does behind the scenes for them does all the showing instead.

Synopsis: Bakugou is dragged to a huge party that’s been thrown “for him” in honor of his birthday despite how he thinks its all bullshit. This party, these people and especially his birthday, at least his drink is strong. As he’s about leave something catches his attention, you. Little does he know that you’ll make his birthday a night he’ll never forget.

Warnings: Smut 18+, choking

Track Four: Birthdays really fucking suck | Things change but people rarely do wc 7075

Master List : Here

A/N : This is part of a birthday play list collab hosted by @/kingkatsuki enjoy~

“Do we really have to go to this Valentine’s day party tomorrow?” Bakugou asks as you brush your teeth in his bathroom. Hard to believe how quickly you integrated into his space and his yours. Not that he hated seeing your stuff around his apartment, in fact he loved it. Still having those chest numbing daydreams with a ring on your finger and a house somewhere nice. 

“Yes.” 

But that’s if the partying ever stopped.

Since dating you Bakugou had been to more parties these past ten months than his entire college career. 

“But people do weird shit at Valentine’s themed parties.”

“Like what?”

Like taking home people they weren’t dating for starters. But Bakugou doesn’t say anything as you come to the bed. 

“I’mma pass. I have a lot of shit to catch up on.” You look at him now pouting as you climb into bed with his t-shirt on. Hand trailing down his abs to cup his cock through his boxer briefs. 

“Baby…” Bakugou gives you a look even as you pump his cock over his underwear. 

“So are you going to the party with me tomorrow?” You bat your lashes, eyes looking breathtaking in the low light. Bakugou actually considers it, really thinks it over but he can’t. He told his professor his research would be neatly typed in a twenty page paper for peer review, it was the whole reason Bakugou was using that asshole’s “special” lab. 

And Bakugou didn’t go back on his word. 

“Kitten, no.” He sighs out and you pout, turning over to give him your back and a heavy HMPH. 

The rest of the night is silent as the two of you drift off to sleep. 

Bakugou wakes up in a cold sweat. He hadn’t set his alarm so it hadn’t gone off at nine am, his heart racing from him jerking himself awake. He turns over with his eyes closed, hot palm seeking you out. 

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