Muscle - @wolfstarmicrofic - Word Count: 335

I like ur “living with dr stone characters” and for stano it’s being adopted 😂 So I like to request what would it be like to be adopted by them. Frankly I think it’s both terrifying and hilarious 🤣

stanxeno adoptive parents hcs!

what to expect: BLATANT stanxeno, mix between modern au and canon

your sword's note: thankyu so much for the request dear anon! hope you enjoy this madhouse, more on my mistresslist

after a very discrete wedding, these two decide to adopt a child. you happen to be the (un)lucky one (?)

they didn't want a baby, they wanted someone very particular, so they both made a list and went to the adoption center checking off kids that didn't meet their standards, oops sorry!

they were interviewing the kids as if they were applying for a government job. "do you have any association with the cancelation of project helium-3?" xeno stares at a 5 year old

when its time for you to go to the interviewing room, you sit on the chair and look at them, "what do you have to offer for me?" it is you asking, that sets them off, but they notice immediately that you match their bizarre energy. you are 3 years old and so daring that immediately they feel a connection

i head canon them as girl dads, omgggg these two would spoil their daughter rotten, you want something? you got it. some little turd pushed you in the playground? his parents mysteriously got fired and his lunchbox exploded. you are their little princess and whoever may dare to even look at you wrong shall have a taste of their wrath

stanley teaches you how to defend yourself from day one and xeno is explaining to you how to build missiles as bedtime stories

all their friends and coworkers know you, they both talk everyone's ear off about you

surprisingly loving (yeah i hate them but whateva)

if you pick up an interest they will listen to everything you have to say and learn it all about it

they take you everywhere. "why is xeno's kid on nasa's top secret document archive coloring on a random folder!?" some guy yells but xeno picks you up and looks at them deathly. for more logical reasons stanley won't be taking you to his job but he makes sure to tell you all about it

your room is decorated amazingly, and precisely you are allowed to have a fish, they say you are not responsible enough to have a bigger pet, the fish's name is brody, like THE brody, he doesn't mind

that house is a madhouse, but you fit perfectly there

you are taught how to do chores and be organized because otherwise xeno will become a little more evil

omg this guys will be so annoying. "my kid just learned how to read" some person says. "well my kid already knows how to solve linear equations AND knows the My Little Pony lore." they brag so much that they are loathsome to people

if petrification happened:

you were still a kid when the petrification happened, younger than suika. you were playing in the area where they got petrified because they will NOT be leaving you with some untrusty nanny

xeno gets depetrified and he immediately looks for you, makes you some clothes and puts you in the safest place possible. since these mfs focused on making guns instead of figuring out how to depetrify people, you stay a statue for a good while

gen asks "what is a young kid's statue doing here?" xeno grabs him by the neck and gives him the dad death look™, and soon the barrel of stanley's gun is facing the innocent mentalist

you either love senku or hate his guts, wym your daddy was proud of this guy first (by that time you weren't even born)

suika sees you as the cutest thing ever and you kinda remind her of herself before

you are jokingly named "the one who might become a superpower", trained by the evil duo, everyone expects you to match and even surpass your dads. you will. they know it. they are happy about it

MANGA SPOILERS FOR THIS ONE: after the american colony joins the kingdom of science, you get depetrified and they are so glad, the k.o.s is surprised to see this new side of them

A set of Napier’s bones. An early type of calculator capable of addition, subtraction, multiplication, division as well as extracting square roots. England, ~1679 AD. [1280x1232]

*Regulus finds out Voldemort was Tom Riddle*

Regulus: you’re NOT a pureblood?

Voldemort: well, no, but i am slytherin’s descendant. my father was a muggle—

Regulus: YOUR FATHER WAS A MUGGLE??

Regulus: AND YOUR MOTHER COULDN’T DO MAGIC??

Regulus: YOU’RE A QUARTER BLOOD

Voldemort: That’s not a thing

Regulus: Your nose is not a thing

Voldemort: Avada Kedavra

sirius will randomly go into regulus’ room and update him on all of the drama in his life, and they’ll reflect on it, and then he’ll leave. this happens about every four months.

pro-tip: don't ever use the sentence "thousands of years" in your worldbuilding unless you really know what a thousand years is like

Won't elaborate much

These two my LAWD😩

Luckily for Draco, Harry is a moronsexual

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

SCREAMS HES GORGEOUS OMG IM GONNA EAT THIS I LOVE IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

NANAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII RYUSUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

😭💛

RYUSUI FANART I DID