AHHHH MY DEMI HEART CANT HANDLE THIS RECOGNITION….

Me now wym

Me if I were a dog.

Oh the conflict of wanting to draw dragon phoenix wright but wanting to write my fanfic or finish a chapter or start the multitudes of others living in my brain rent free.

I have too many choices.

I think it’s also worth mentioning if any of yall have had medical professionals as parents there’s like a 50% chance they were the type to say “rub some dirt in it you’re fine” when you very much WERE NOT fine. My mother was in med school for a long ass time during my childhood. I had to frequently fight and argue with her to get her to take me to see professionals, and some of that is due to her own internalized stuff. Dgmw I loved her then but I love her more now, as the woman who is actively working though unlearning these mindsets taught to her by her own abusive parents. I did love the woman who told me “I refuse to get you diagnosed and take you to a therapist, you’ll be labeled a crazy person the rest of your life and I will have failed you” when I was struggling with my PTSD, OCD, depression, and anxiety, but it was so damn strained that it hurt. I loved her, and trusted (mostly) her, but felt that I needed more help than she realized. And I did.

Some of you may be dismissing your chronic conditions as a result of a similar experience; I implore you, DONT.

Fight for a diagnosis. Doctors and nurses will dismiss you, and yes, it’s shitty, but it’s because of the huge amount of strain capitalism places on their shoulders. At the end of the day, 90% of our problems have a root cause of ✨capitalism✨, and it fucking sucks. They’re often overworked, and that’s definitely going to impact patient care no matter what someone says. That’s no excuse for their actions, or to allow yourself to give up on seeking treatment.

For example:

My brother got diagnosed with ADHD after my mom noticed he had trouble with blurting out answers and sitting still and talking way too fast when he was little.

My mom (prior to med school at the time) had to FIGHT to get me diagnosed when she realized I was struggling too, but it appeared differently than my brother’s.

It’s expensive and it takes time, and it’s frustrating as fuck, but getting the correct treatment can truly improve your lives. Don’t settle for feeling like shit and being brushed off about it. That’s letting them crush you under heel. You are worthy of getting better. Your struggle and pain is very much real, because you can feel it, and you’re trying to live with it, even they think it’s somehow “not”. No matter how long a road that is, you have a right to enjoy your life as best you can. Don’t let some doctors brush you off about that.

The effects of your chronic illnesses, whether is a chronic mental illness, or a physiological illness are NOT “all in your head”. Trust me when I speak from personal experience, you CANNOT mind over matter your way outta that shit. It will catch up with you eventually and you will be stuck trying to face that on your own when you not only can’t, but shouldn’t.

Don’t settle for feeling like shit your whole life. That’s no way to live. Don’t let people tell you what you’re experiencing when you already know it first hand. No one should be allowed to sit and suffer endlessly. That’s not right- it’s not fair- and you shouldn’t let that be your life.

YOU ARE WORTHY OF GETTING BETTER.

Snorting, cackling, and consoling my itty bitty inner child at this.

Jokes on you, it’s a panic attack so mild you’re confusing it for chest cramps.

Do you ever wonder if Phoenix annoys the piss out of Apollo in an attempt to push him away at first because he doesn’t want to put him in a position where if he dies suddenly, Apollo will long for his mentor’s guidance like he did with Mia but can’t get it because he doesn’t have Maya or Pearl as council like Phoenix did, and then suddenly he has his badge back and is like “well shit I can’t just switch up now” and just continues to be an ass to Apollo because he’s like ‘well I made this bed, time to lay in it’?

Sorry I just woke up yall but my brain never be sleepin

For those of you awaiting chapter eight, dw it’s coming, but I do have to slow down a tiny bit. Or, well I have been. I had trouble writing out one scene (I finally got it to a point I’m happy with) and finals are this week for the semester (yay!!!!). So I gotta study.

Also, my period is hitting like a fucking semi and it’s cold in my home right now so my cramps feel 100x worse. I thought it would be lighter since I started a new Birthcontrol. It had other plans.

You should know this based on fanfic, it’s fucking good bro, go read it, the author is in the comments

Am I cringe for liking a dragon fic? Maybe. But you can tear dragon nrmt from my cold, dead hands.

Bro this sinus infection is kicking my ass.

So is Chem II but we’re not going to talk about my shit professor driving me up the wall when I sound like a prepubescent boy with the amount of croaking and voice cracks I’m having.

Gods pray for me. I don’t know how imma get through this semester but I will somehow make it work in my favor in the end. Somehow.

do you know anyone asexual person irl?