The Year Is 2006. You’re An Avid Fan Of Collegiate Exy. Kevin Day Recently Transferred From The Best

fixing things

its all fun and gay until he gets kidnapped by his insane killer father and tortured within an inch of his life

i like how tsc just confirmed that kevin day is the sexist man alive. this mfkr had neil, jean, and jeremy all whipped

this lyric but its edgar allan, usc, penn state, and then the foxes

Whenever I think of Camp Jupiter.. I just get so.. mad. Knowing that even after 11 years of Jason's sheer service, even after the fact that he dedicated his whole life to Rome at the age of 2, a ripe CHILD, a BABY, nobody even cared to look for him even 6 months after his disappearance..??

Nobody went "I miss Jason!" Like everyone did in Camp half blood for Percy, even the hunters of Artemis went out of their way to look for him. Jason's "friends" Dakota or Gwendolyn never spared a glance at his direction, his friendship with Reyna was fractured because of communication issues, etc.

Camp Jupiter was, realistically NOTHING without Jason (and Reyna duh) yet they have the audacity to neglect him.

And then they cheaply "made up" for it by giving him some grand state funeral. What's the point? His body was wrapped in an expensive silk, but his soul left that world feeling useless and unwanted. An expensive fancy funeral isnt going to change that.

His funeral was dark and empty, because not a single one of his Greek friends could make it.

Jason Grace was doomed to be chained to the clutches of the soulless camp of Rome till the very end. Like Michael Varus said "born a roman, die a roman"

Camp Jupiter was more or less a dystopian society covered up with beautiful architecture. Like shiny fake gold that wears off its glow.

clarke griffin really is the character ever. she pulls a lot of levers. only one person she's slept with hasn't died. she adopted a six-year-old when she was still a teenager. she had her first drink out of spite. she killed a panther by herself. her daughter has the memories of the dead love of her life. she's as homicidal as she is suicidal. she was in solitary confinement for almost an entire year. she learned mandarin and motorcycle riding because she stole it out of someone else's head. she decorated her prison cell with charcoal etches. she's been caked in mud and foam. no one ever taught her how to swim. if she cares about you, she might hum when she kills you. we only see her shower once in her life. she medically experimented on herself. she's been body snatched. everything her culture was based on turned out to be very, very incorrect. she was arrested for treason against her people and then does nothing but ensure the survival of her people for the rest of her life. she's eaten bugs. and she's bisexual

never getting over the fact that clarke thinks jasper died hating her, and he probably did.

We all know that Neil has two smiles, his "Neil-smile" and his "Nathaniel-smile". I went through the books to see how many times Neil actually smiles, because god knows it's not that many.

His "Nathaniel-smile" pops up a few times, usually when he's around Riko, threatening someone, or daydreaming about his father's gruesome death.

"Are you threatening a federal agent?" Nathaniel smiled so hard his burns ached. "I wouldn't dare."

He smiles his normal or "Neil-smile" a total of eight times through the series. Never in the first book, twice in the second, and six times in the third. Out of these eight, four were towards Andrew, one to Kevin, one to Wymack, one to Nicky, and one to Matt.

Nicky subsided with a lightning-quick grin in Neil's direction. Neil managed a small smile back.

The original point of this post was that Neil really doesn't smile or laugh or anything as much as he does in fanfictions and stuff. Andrew and Neil are not a grumpyxsunshine trope, Neil is not the light to Andrew's darkness, they're both massively fucked up and Neil does his crazy serial killer smile more often than his regular one.

He couldn't sleep, but at least he could daydream his father's death over and over again. That was almost enough to make him smile, and eventually it thawed the chill from his veins.

Anyways, that 𝘸𝘢𝘴 the original point of the post, but now I'm stuck thinking about how cute it is that he literally smiles only eight times throughout the entire series, and 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳 of them are to Andrew. It's so fucking cute, especially when you consider the circumstances of the rest of them.

Andrew, who for once hadn't wasted their time denying that this thing between them might actually mean something to both of them. Neil hadn't even noticed the silence at first, too distracted by his dizzying thoughts. Now he couldn't help but smile and pull Andrew in.

He shares a tired smile with Kevin after the first Raven match. He smiles when Wymack picks up the phone when he calls him after he comes back from Evermore. He returns Nicky's grin with a small smile to reassure himself when Riko comes to watch their match against the Longhorns. And he gives Matt a tight smile during the final match against the Ravens.

"Neil?" All the gruff posturing left Wymack's voice; that sharp edge was all alarm. "Are you all right?" Neil smiled. It felt like it tore his face open. "No. No, I'm not. I know it's kind of sudden, but can you come get me? I'm at the airport."

With Andrew, basically every single time is directly 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 of him. Those smiles are some of the only times he actually feels or shows genuine pleasure or happiness, and I just think that's so cute.

It wasn't funny—none of this was—but that response was so obnoxious and so typically Andrew that Neil couldn't help but smile.

Technically he does smile a ninth time, at all of the Foxes, but since that was immediately after and because of Riko's death, I'm tempted to classify it as a "Nathaniel-smile" lmao.

Neil looked from one tired face to the next, soaking them in, reveling in everything they'd accomplished tonight and imagining how they'd react when they heard the news tomorrow. "What's so funny?" Nicky asked when he spotted Neil in the doorway. Neil hadn't realized he was smiling. "Life?"

(Also the word smile no longer feels like a word to me now. I never realised how often Renee smiled until I had to go through every single time any character smiled in the books)

my favourite thing about the perfect court is how they are all parallels of each other - each person could have ended up like one of the others, but they didn’t.

neil could’ve ended up like jean, if his mother hadn’t taken him and run. neil could’ve ended up like riko, if he’d internalised his father’s abuse and tried to earn his affection instead of fearing it. if he’d tried to become someone his father would be proud of - like riko does - he would’ve become heartlessly violent. but he doesn’t.

jean could’ve been like neil, if he’d had just one family member care about him enough to run. he could’ve ended up like kevin, if he’d gone with him when kevin ran. he could’ve been like riko, if he’d taken everything that had been done to him and inflicted it on the world/people around him, but he doesn’t.

kevin could’ve ended up like riko, if he’d twisted tetsuji’s abuse enough to believe that the things he deserved were taken from him. he could’ve ended up like jean, if he’d refused to run after his hand was broken.

riko could’ve ended up like any of them. if an adult had cared about him enough to save him, he could’ve ended up like neil. if he’d hated his father instead of fighting for his attention, or if he internalised the abuse he faced instead of inflicting the same abuse on others, he’d have been more like jean or neil. if he’d accepted his place and decided to fight for the things he did have - exy, kevin - he’d have been more like kevin. but he doesn’t.

yes, their situations are largely shaped by the people around them - riko, jean, and kevin (until he learns about wymack) do not have an adult in their lives that cares about them enough to change their situation. but it’s also their individual responses to their abuse that shapes how they act. i’m not trying to say that people get to choose their trauma response, but it’s important that riko and neil parallel each other because we’re shown the could have beens. it shows you that it really only takes one person to change everything - mary taking neil and running is so so so important for how neil’s character and personality and trauma response turns out.

neil could’ve ended up like riko, but he doesn’t. riko could’ve ended up like neil, but he doesn’t.