Latest Posts by depressedjo - Page 2
Happy Pride month to everyone, but especially that episode of Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-Kun/Monthly Girls Nozaki-Kun where Mikorin and Nozaki stay up all night creating gay fanfiction manga for that dating sim they were playing.
Should I post it or nah?
Only the first part is ready and tbh I'm scared it sucks
I'm kinda writing a Yunho fic...
saaame
So hyped for the new season of Sweet Home
Everytime Chan says something negative about himself I'm one step closer to swimming to Korea to stop him
Fuck his dad
i told my friend’s dad that he was hot (it was in context with the conversation, he was complaining that he was feeling old, etc), and he said a very genuine thank you and the conversation moved on to other topic, my friend was now talking about something else entirely when his dad goes
“i think if i were born in your generation i might have been bisexual”
and friend got kinda mad at me lmao
bro I love this so much it hurts
𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 – 𝟏𝟓
𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬
↬ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
↬ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔, 𝐂𝐄𝐎!𝐉𝐚𝐲, 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
↬ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟓.𝟒𝐤
↬ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲. 𝐀 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐚 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐡 𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐥'𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐂𝐄𝐎.
With a soft sigh, you close the chat with your closest friends, the soft jazz music finally making its way to your ears as you meet the gaze of your uber driver through his rear view mirror. A gentle expression grazes his eyes, as if he could sense your current state of struggle and somehow attempted to ease those thoughts and doubts.
But he doesn't actually know that you're on your way to your boss's penthouse apartment to bring him soup in hopes of winning his heart over or at least receive a single word of affirmation and praise from him.
And he actually can't read your mind or tell just how mean your brain's gotten these past few minutes, but all you do is smile back at him, wordlessly letting him know just how much you appreciate his concern.
You don't want to let your friends' words get to you, yet with every second you can't help but lose yourself in the worst case scenarios and actualy fear consume your body. The mere thought of your boss scolding you for doing something so unprofessional and inappropriate has an ice cold shiver find its way down your spine but before you get the chance to actually change your mind, the car comes to a halt.
Maybe it's the fact you grew up in a rather poor part of your hometown or maybe it's because you tend to forget just how rich Park Jongseong is, but either way you find yourself standing in front of his huge apartment building, wondering how one can actually afford living there.
Your eyes roam every little detail of it, only for your heart to skip a beat as soon as you realise that you simply can't enter the building without Jongseong letting you in first.
For a moment, you actually, genuinely consider going home and just throwing away every single part of your little plan, but the tiny little voice in the back of your head is loud enough to convince you to just pull through with it.
That's how you find yourself at the reception of Park Jongseong's apartment complex, something you believed to be a made up concept of rich people in movies and dramas, casually telling the woman in front of you who you've come for.
"Mr. Park Junior didn't tell me about any guests for tonight", the young lady says, her voice slightly condescending and as her eyes roam your body, you can't help but regret your choice of outfit. Maybe you should have dressed up a little more formally than your jeans-hoodie combination but at the end of the day you're pretty sure she would have judged you either way.
"He doesn't know about my visit", you say and try your best to hide how much her attitude intimidates you, "could you maybe tell him that Y/N's here to drop off something?"
"We don't just call Mr. Park Junior for random night time visits", yet again, the brunette makes sure to belittle you with just her tone and all you can do is sigh softly in response.
"I'll call him then." You don't even look at her as you turn around and pull your phone out, your bottom lip firmly tugged between your teeth as you try your best to stay calm.
Dialing your boss's number has never been easy ever since you've started working for him, yet this time you can actually feel your heart thrumming in your throat and the blood rushing in your ears as it rings.
It doesn't take longer than a few seconds for Jongseong to pick up your call; your number the only one besides his boys and his mother he's put on the list of exceptions when he's got his phone on 'do not disturb'.
He knows it's wrong but using the excuse of your new position as his personal assistant easily overshadows his actual intentions. Is he a bad boss because he wants to be available for you all the time? Or is it considered inappropriate? Either way, Jay simply can't get himself to care enough to overthink it.
After taking complete advantage of his first day off in months, Jay actually feels energetic enough to sit himself up, casually ignoring just how excited and nervous he is about the fact that you're calling him. He can't help but wonder if you've missed him, only to mentally slap himself for even allowing those thoughts to enter his head.
He's your boss, why the fuck would you miss him?
"Hello?" The soft sound of your pretty voice takes him aback and for a moment he actually feels dizzy again, yet quickly regains his composure.
"Yes, Y/N, how can I help you?" As he speaks, Jongseong genuinely hopes you can't hear the excitement wavering in his tone, too afraid you'd misinterpret his reaction to you.
"Misinterpret".
"I really hope this isn't inappropriate, Sir but I'm – uhm – in the lobby of your apartment building because I wanted to drop off some of the soup I made for you." The words just leave your mouth, too fast for your brain to get the chance to overthink any of them and you actually catch yourself holding your breath as you wait for his reaction.
After a whole beat of silence, Jay finally manages to somehow form a response.
"I'll call the receptionist", is all he says before he hangs up and you find yourself slightly overwhelmed, not ready to face the young woman behind you.
It doesn't take longer than a a handful of minutes for you to find yourself at at the door to your boss's penthouse.
You don't really know what you expected, especially considering that he explicitly mentioned his current physical state, yet the sight of The Park Company's CEO in a pair of grew sweats and a black shirt, glasses comfortably placed on his nose, a completely bare face and messy hair was probably not the sight you had imagined.
But it quickly becomes your absolute favorite version of him.
Seeing him in such a...comfortable state feels a little surreal after only ever having seen him in his suits and daily clothes in the few weeks you've been working for him.
Jongseong, on the other side, doesn't get enough time to actually hide how much your sudden and unexpected presence flusters him as a deep blush covers the apples of his cheeks as well as his nose and ears all the way down to his neck. A single impulsive thought rushes through his head, but he does manage to stop himself from slamming the door in your face and simply accepts his current situation.
"I know you told me not to do it but I love taking care of people and this is my standard Y/N-care package, which includes beef soup, kimbap and some cookies", you explain and look at him with big eyes, trying your best to stop yourself from letting your gaze drop to his slightly exposed chest, as a tiny little black line poking out underneath his shirt on his right side catches your attention.
Jay loves the way you look at him. He's had so many woman look at him like that, yet your gaze just seems different than theirs. You don't just look at him with bedroom eyes, no. Your pretty eyes are filled with adoration and this hunger he can't put a name on.
And at first Jong struggled to understand why he enjoys your gaze until that one particular day where the two of you went into a meeting together and you were hiding behind him when all of these business men suddenly started talking to you. It's the fact that you're actively seeking his presence because you feel protected and safe with him which makes your needy eyes so different from all the others.
You actually need and want him in more ways than just sexual and Jong's afraid that's exactly what's going to make staying away from you so, so much more difficult.
"Here you go", you say after a whole minute of silence, "I hope you feel better soon, Sir. Please don't rush yourself to get back to work, Mr. Lee is taking great care of the office and all your meetings and appointments have been rescheduled to next week already."
Your words somehow manage to calm his chaotic thoughts down. Jongseong hadn't even realised how much he had been worrying about work until you mentioned it. He definitely feels better than just a few hours ago but the mere thought of getting up tomorrow morning and going through all those meetings and paper work has shivers run down his back. Knowing you've got it all under control eases his mind to the point where he actually doesn't feel guilty about staying home one more day.
"Thank you so much, Y/N", your boss replies calmly and takes the bag from you, his hand touching yours for a single second and still managing to send shivers down your spine.
"You're welcome, Sir", you whisper, a little too shy when his eyes find yours again and all you can do is smile softly at him.
"Have a good night and get–", but Jongseong doesn't give you the opportunity to finish your sentence.
"Wait–", he says quickly, subconsciously reaching for your wrist but immediately stopping himself before his skin can touch yours.
"Yes, Mr. Park? Is there anything else I can do for you?"
Your willingness to satisfy his every need is going to drive him into absolute insanity. Jongseong knows it's because you work for him, yet for some reason he can't help but feel like it's actually because you genuinely want to and not because you get paid for it.
His therapist is going to have a field day during their next session.
"You came all this way to drop these off, why don't you come in and have some coffee with me?"
He didn't mean to invite you into his apartment because he knows just how unprofessional and inappropriate it is, yet he can't even deny how badly he wants you to spend some more time with him. Especially after you've decided to keep your distance to him the past week.
"Oh", you reply softly, desperately suppressing the big smile threatning to form on your face, "sure, that's really kind of you. I hope I'm not overstepping any bound-"
"You're not, Y/N. I promise. Please, come on in."
You can't help but be visibly surprised about being interrupted by your boss for the second time within a few minutes, something he's never done before to you or basically anyone he's galked to in your presence.
But without giving it too many thoughts, you walk past him into the big hallway of his apartment, your face quickly giving away just how impressed you are and for a moment you simply feel embarrassed for being so obvious.
You wordlessly follow your boss into the living room and then the kitchen, your eyes eagerly roaming the huge spaces as if your brain couldn't comprehend the fact that this is really how some people live on the daily.
After moving out from your tiny childhood home, you thought your new two bedroom apartment was big, maybe because it was the first time in your life where you didn't have to share a room or a bed, yet seeing the way your rich boss lives, you can't say you don't feel the tiniest bit envious.
"Your apartment is very pretty, Sir", you say quietly, a little intimidated by the whole situation and if it wasn't for the physical exhaustion, Jay would have wholly appreciated your compliment.
The sight of you in his penthouse is something he's imagined way too many times in the past few weeks and he has absolutely no idea why. Just the mental image of watching you do the most basic tasks in his home instead of your own has brought him the type of comfort he's been craving so desperately all his life, and that's how he knew he fucked up.
This wasn't meant to happen. You're his secretary and personal assistant, he can't and won't ever have you. But why can't he stop imagining you as such a prominent part in his life to the point where he actually manages to get his own hopes all the way up to the sky?
"Thank you, Y/N", he replies and as soon as you look up to meet his exhausted gaze, an expression of genuine worry washes over your face and before he can even overthink it, he watches the way you approach him.
The feeling of your hand on his forehead is definitely not the next thing he expected, yet the cooling sensation your touch comes with easily overwhelms him.
"Sir, you're running a fever again", you say and only realise that your hand has found its way to his cheek when he slowly moves into your touch, a sight so sweet and gentle, your brain quickly makes sure it's forever engraved in your memory.
You don't pull away right away, but rather slowly to make sure he knows you regret your subconscious decision but also not take away the comfort it probably comes with.
"Yeah, I feel a little tired again. I think the meds have started to wear off."
Upon his confession, you basically push him to lay down on the couch again, quickly cleaning up the little mess of tissues and empty water bottles before making your way to the kitchen to reheat some of the soup.
Jongseong feels his lids growing heavier by the minute, yet he'd never miss the opportunity to watch you in his kitchen. The fact you seem to fit in perfectly makes all of his worries even worse because why the fuck did it have to be like this?
It doesn't take you longer than five minutes to come back with a bowl of hot soup and a spoon, a water bottle firmly tugged underneath your arm as you come to sit next to his head.
"I know you also told me you didn't need any meds but uhm, my grandmother swears on these and every time I catch a cold they save me from the worst. But I do understand if you don't wanna take them."
Your voice calms his heart and soul, your words barely reaching his brain as his whole attention remains on the way you sound and never once in his life did he ever think he'd want someone to talk to him forever.
"That's very kind, thank you", Jong whispers and caughs softly, his usually tanned skin slightly paler than usual and you hate the way your heart aches at the sight of it.
"I'm also making you one of my grandmother's remedy teas, I promise you'll feel better in no time."
For some reason, the fact you're so casually telling him about your family again makes him happier than it should. But does it make him a bad boss if he wants to know more about you and your upbringing? You're spending so much time with each other after all, it's the least he should want, right?
"Your grandmother sounds like a wise woman", he says softly and slowly tries his best to sit himself up, every single limb hurting like he he run against a wall with full force and as soon as he reaches for the spoon, Jongseong actually has to take a break from moving so much.
"She was", you whisper and pull your bottom lip between your teeth, unsure whether or not to offer your help, "she was my best friend and the only person in my life who took such great care of me and everyone around her. I cherish her recipes and that's how I came up with my Y/N-care package."
Jongseong attentively listens to the things you tell him, something you genuinely appreciate when it comes to him because besides your best friend, you've never had anyone listen to every word you say with such focus, especially not a man.
You carefully watch the way he nods, his pretty lips pushed into a soft pout, big hands in his lap as he looks at you with tired eyes and with a soft sigh you finally give into your disgusting need to take care of him.
"May I feed you, Sir? I know I'm not being professional but–", "Please do, Y/N. I'd really appreciate it." Jong is quick to interrupt you, because if it wasn't for you initiating it, he would sit there waiting to gain enough physical strength for another twenty minutes.
He's never had anyone but his mother and sister take such sweet care of him and the fact you do it without any intentions makes this whole experience even more intimate than it's supposed to be.
As you reach for the spoon, Jay thinks of all the things he'd do for you if you let him, only for his conscience to slap him across the face because no matter what, at the end of the day you two would never work out. Not only because you're his employee and he's your boss but because he'd never forgive himself for pulling you into a life you couldn't handle. You're too soft, too gentle, your heart is too kind for the world he lives in. A world full of faux happiness and sincerity, where nothing is real, no smiles and laughter, no words and promises, no friendships and marriages. A world so dark, it'd kill the light in your soul within a few weeks, something Jongseong could never, ever forgive himself.
"Say 'ah'", you chuckle and lift the full spoon to his lips, your pretty lips stretched into a gentle smile and without hesitation, Jay bends a little over to take it into his mouth. The warmth as well as the comforting taste of the soup easily has his whole body slowly waking up.
"It's delicious", Jay says with raised brows, his eyes finding yours and the way his compliment so obviously flusters you manages to play with his thoughts and feelings yet again, "you're a great cook, Y/N."
You hate how much his words mean to you, but besides two words of appreciation, you can't get yourself to say anything else. For some reason this feels way more intimate than you expected but with each spoon, the urge to play with his hair and caress his back becomes more and more overwhelming.
All you want for him is to feel good and be okay, something you want for everyone in your life, so why do you want to do everything in your power to make it happen.
Your boss is a rich bachelor in his late twenties, who not only grew up with old money but probably won't ever know what it feels like to wonder if there'll be any food left for him and his siblings to eat the next day, but you still want to somehow be involved in his well-being.
"Tell me more about your grandmother", Jay suddenly asks and isn't really sure why he decided to bring things back to your family, but he simply can't hold back with his curiosity, especially after those few family issues you've mentioned to him.
He also doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable, but physically doesn't have enough energy to lead the conversation. On top of it all he's always been a better listener than a talker, especially when it comes to the people he cares about.
"Are you sure you wanna hear that? She's the only topic I can talk about for hours", you chuckle shyly and lift the spoon up to his face yet again, only for Jay to nod softly.
Upon his approval, you tell him about what it felt like to be raised by her as the only grandchild, how she spent most of her time showing you her recipes even after working long days at the market. You feel yourself getting more and more emotional as you slowly lose yourself in the memory of the only blood family member who always cared for and about you, the only one who didn't abandon you after the things your parents did.
And Jongseong just listens. He tries to save it all to his memory, your words, the stories, your grandmother's personality from your point of view, details about your childhood, the sight of your teary eyes when you come to the point where she passed away when you were sixteen years old.
Jongseong has never had any good relations with anyone in his family besides his mother and his older sister. Mostly because his father's side of the family is exactly like him, victims and servants of capitalism who have made money and financial success their only priority in life to the point where betrayal and lying has become part of their daily routines. His mother's family had decided to abandon her as soon as they found out about her pregnancy and despite their pathetic attempts of reconciliation, Jong has never allowed her to let them back into their lives. Not after everything they put her through.
Hearing about how you lived a whole life with this one particular woman makes him want to meet her. Jong knows that you probably have your soft heart and kind soul from her, and he can't help but wonder what kind of person she was.
"She sounds wonderful", he then suddenly comments and for some reason, you know those words come from his heart and all you can do is smile at him.
"Yeah", you whisper and gulp harshly when the tears suddenly prick at the corners of your eyes, "I miss her a lot."
Jay lets out a soft sigh of acknowledgment before he does something he knows he's going to regret but at this point he's jusg mentally tired of fighting his urges all the time.
With a gentle smile he reaches for your chin and lifts your head up to have you meet his gaze, his sudden touch eliciting a soft gasp from your parted lips and thankfully he manages to at least suppress the urge to just kiss you.
"I just know she's really proud of the beautiful, strong woman you've grown into", he whispers and then places his big hand on your cheek, his touch soft and gentle despite how rough his hands tend to look and you instinctively move further into his touch, the way he did just a half an hour ago.
"I know I am", Jay adds calmly and maybe it's the way you've been working so hard to take care of him or maybe it's all the built up frustration about your situation but no matter how much he tries to stop himself from saying them, he knows those next few words are nothing but the truth.
"I'm so proud of you, Y/N."
And those are the words which have you spiralling all the way back into your deepest feelings for him. You knew coming here and doing the thingds you just did weren't the smartest thing considering you've been trying to distance yourself from him, but never in a million years have you expected to hear such a genuine and sweet praise from him.
"T-Thank you so much, Sir", you whisper and shift your gaze to your hands in your lap, too embarrassed about just how flustered you are.
"Not for this", he calmly replies and probably has no idea what his words have done to you. Even if he knew, you know he'd never care enough for it to effect him.
To your luck, he's long finshed the soup so using the excuse to get his tea, you basically jump onto your feet and run into the kitchen, only to realise that you can't actually lose your shit because he can see you from his spot on the couch.
The following five minutes are filled with nothing but absolute silence and you can't hide how glad you are about it. The tension between the two of you has become unbearable and the urge to crawl onto his lap and never leave again is about to take over every other rational thought in your head.
"Thank you for taking such good care of me, Y/N", Jay says when you finally place the tea on the little coffee table in front of the couch, his eyes casually roaming your whole body and you're surprised how he doesn't even seem hesitant about it. Maybe it's the meds showing their effects or maybe the physical exhaustion, but regardless of the reason, you refuse to accept the possibility of his potential interest in or attraction to you.
"Of course, Sir", you reply calmly, "it's my pleasure."
"Have you been taking care of yourself as well? I know you haven't been feeling the best lately and I wouldn't want you to neglect yourself", Jay says and takes a sip from the sweet tea, his eyes focusing your reactions and he can't help but love just how much his words seem to effect you.
"Yes, Mr. Park", you say softly and smile at him, finally a little less anxious and excited as your body has managed to calm down from the high he'd put you in just a few minutes ago.
"Good girl."
Yet, those two little words basically shoot you all the way up to the milky way within just a single second.
Jongseong doesn't even realise what he just said, yet once he does, his eyes widen and he basically stops in his tracks.
Never once in your life have you expected him to say something so intimate and forbidden, but you physically can't get yourself to hide your reaction.
With a soft gasp, your head shoots up to look at him, hoping that you just misheard what he said but at the way your boss doesn't move a good minute, you know you heard exactly what you he said.
"I'm so – so sorry", Jay says once he regains his composure, his heart thrumming in his throat as the blood rushes in his ears and he actually feels a headache making its way into his brain.
"It's okay", your voice a mere whisper as you're aftaid for it to break if you spoke too loudly, "don't worry about it."
Maybe it's just a habit he has and maybe he just mistook you for someone else, someone who actually gets to hear those sweet words of praise every time he does what he needs to do to get rid of his frustration. That's it. It was just a slip up.
Park Jongseong would never think about praising you in such a manner if he wasn't actually physically sick, so there's absolutely no need for you to get your hopes up again.
"I didn't mean to – fuck – please, just forget about this, okay?"
All you can do is nod as you try to ignore the thick veil of tears that have already blurred your vision, not because of shame or embarrassment but because you know it really wasn nothing a stupid accident.
You hate yourself for wishing to hear it again, and again and again. All you want for him is to call you a good girl until it's engraved into your brain and you actually start believing it.
Jay carefully watches your reactions again and he can't believe the immense guilt he's feeling for having to retract his words knowing you probably needed that more than anything else. The way you seem genuinely disappointed about it has his heart aching in the worst way possible because fuck every single rule he's set for himself. You are a good girl. His good girl. So good, so obedient, so hardworking and so, so perfect. You're everything he's ever dreamed of in a woman, yet there's no way he can be what you need and deserve.
"Not because you aren't one", he suddenly says, not quite sure why he decided to but simply following his instincts, "but because it wasn't appropriate and I'm sorry about making you uncomfortable."
"It's okay, Mr. Park. I'm just – too easy", you basically laugh off the embarrassment and try your best to escape his strong gaze knowing he's going to see your tears if you let him.
"Y/N, look at me, please."
Of course Park Jongseong is too attentive to miss your actual reaction and since at this point your brain has decided to never, ever disobey him, you find yourself looking into his eyes the very next moment.
"We can't do this", he suddenly says and has your heart drop into your stomach, "not only is it super inappropriate and unprofessional but it's also not...right. I'm your boss, you're my employee and things would just get super messy if we acted on this tension between the two of us."
All you can do is nod because you can't quite understand that he just verbally rejected you, especially when you thought things couldn't have taken a wronger turn.
You hate how much youmre struggling to breath yet the knot in dour throat seems to double in its size with every second passing by and for a moment you're genuinely worried about passing out.
"Yes, Sir", is the only response you manage to whisper, too ashamed and embarrassed to say anything else.
"I wish I could be the man you need, but I'm not. And I won't ever be, so please, let's just forget about this and keep it going the way we did until today, okay?"
Yet again, not a single word leaves your lips, the fear of bursting into tears if you dared to say something too big.
"I think it's better if you leave now, I'm sorry."
And it's those words which manage to break his heart into thousands of pieces, but after seeing the way you reacted to his praise and the image of you standing in his kitchen like it's your own has given him false hopes he's not ready to deal with. He can't have you and no matter how much sending you away hurts him, Jay knows he has to do this for you to hate him. Even if you happened to quit your job after today, he'd rather have you be distant than give you the wrong idea.
"No, don't be. I'm sorry, Sir", you say and quickly get onto your feet, reaching for your phone on the coffee table and your jacket before quickly taking a few steps away from him.
Being so physically close to him feels like actual torture and all you want to do is go home and cry yourself to sleep.
You never expected your hopes and little daydreams to be shattered like this, but you know you needed this and it's the only thing which could have brought you back to reality.
"I don't need the boxes I brought the food in, just keep them or throw them away. Please excuse my lack of professionalism tonight, Mr. Park. I promise it won't happen ever again. Have a good night and get well soon."
You don't even give him the chance to get on his feet as you basically turn around and run to the front door the second the last word of your apology leaves your lips and even if he wanted to follow and pull you into his arms, Jongseong just stays exactly where he is because there's no point in comforting you. He did what needed to be done and that's it.
Even if that means watching his good girl run away from him with tears streaming down her cheeks.
This pain is only temporary. You'll eventually get over him, you're so young after all. And once that day comes, you'll be grateful for escaping him and his love. Because Jongseong has always ruined the things he touched and the people he cared about. He'll make sure you won't ever be part of that list no matter how much it hurts his heart.
← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →
(A/N: here we go babies 👀 it's a little heartbreaking ngl and things will be a little angstier from now on but the spicy part's also around the corner so let's go!🤭 thank you so much for all the love and support, you guys are truly the best. feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!!!🩷🧸)
TAGLIST CLOSED: @soonigiri @xrr-s4sha @kwiwin @heelcvr @deobitifull @kpoprhia @doodlelibrary @abrazosolorcereza @certifiedmoa @sleeping-demons @heerinnie @ohmy-moonlightx @heeswif3y @hoonieluv @fakeuwus @jjaeyuns @cheybabey @ineedsomezzz @super-amberlynn @kshoshi @tinie03 @soiimo @mimikittysblog @primroselover @heebrry @jebetwo @donghyckl @07myonlylove @enhamysunshines @quemirasboboandapaya @lostwonderwall @seuomo @enhaz1 @teawithbucky @beomgyusonlywife @dammit-jjk @lhsvibez @azurez @boutyouwonu @finchyyy @ocyeanicc @jaylaxies @glitterssim @in-somnias-world @zerasari @spookyauthorspopmusictrash @capri-cuntz @fluerz @3amstarlight
This genre of Huening Kai pics
sometimes my life really be like a doodle
˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒꒱ toji just being in love with u
toji x gn!reader
content; fluff, hcs, soft toji
a/n; i know he's a big, mean man but just imagine him becoming soft for u 🥺💕
toji is indisputably intimidating and menacing, except for when he's with you.
he melts like butter into your embrace.
he sings you to sleep if you're wide awake, and plays with your hair.
he keeps a palm on the small of your back when you're in public, keeping a protective eye on you as you drag him around on shopping sprees.
he gives you random backrubs.
he watches trashy romance dramas with you while curled up under the pink blanket with you on the couch.
he makes you breakfast in bed.
he gives you tender cheek kisses.
he holds your hand on the bus ride home.
he possessively sits you on his lap at parties.
he carries you when you complain that you're too tired to walk.
he gives into your wants and needs, and hurries to complete your every request, no matter how big or small.
he's determined to keep you happy.
this man is so soft and sweet for you, it's unbelievable.
thinking about changing my personality
KINNPORSCHE ANNIVERSARY WEEK 14
Free choice: KinnPorsche + text posts (pt. 61/65)
bonus:
how dare he?!?!
who even allowed him
I feel like shit
this is the best compilation to ever exist
Bang Chan Doing That Move
Discounted Cookies | Han Jisung x Reader
pairing: barista!han jisung x gn!reaer
tags: coffee shop au, a little bit of angst, minor language, jisung is a lil flirt, reader doesn't wanna put up with it, fluff, no smut
requested? yes! by anon xox
an: i actually don't know how i feel about this, but it's cute regardless, anon i hope i captured what u meant, i tried my best to get reader to be Annoyed but i love jisung too much, sorry ;-;
wc: 3,890
4 times Jisung flirted with you + 1 time you flirted with him.
The first time you see him.
It’s a few minutes past midnight and you think this might be your end. You’re going to pass out, for sure. You had been studying at the library for the past 7 hours straight for an exam worth 60% of your grade. Studying Law was definitely a choice. Specifically, it was the choice you made two and a half years ago, resulting in you, at this moment, halfway through your third year and on the brink of a breakdown. The breakdown? Partially caused by your ex-boyfriend, who had just broken up with you no more than five days ago. You’re fine. People keep asking. You really wish they would stop.
In the distance, you spot a flood of warm, yellow light flooding out of a shop window. As you get closer, you recognise it’s a coffee shop, you think it may even be the one your friend had told you about, saying it was her favourite place to study as it’s open 24 hours. It seems tonight is the night you’re finally going to check it out.
It’s kind of snowy at your feet, thanks to the early month of the year, but you wish it was more picturesque and not just the grey slush that you think you can feel leaking through your boots. At least it’ll be nice to get some warmth for a few minutes.
You push open the door, a small bell jingling above your head, and the warmth hits you like a wall, suffocating in its intensity. There’s only one other person in here: an old trucker-looking guy, face held over a steaming cup of coffee.
“I’ll be out in a second!” You hear a man shout from behind the counter, you guess he’s even further in the back than you can see. You hear a small commotion that sounds a bit like someone stamping on a cardboard box. A few seconds later, a guy appears, slightly dishevelled and running his hands through his hair as he exhales. His hair parts in the middle and brushes his eyebrows, slightly longer around the edges, as if gone uncut for a few months. A friendly face with round cheeks looks at you, a grin appearing on his face. He brushes down his apron and makes his way to the counter.
“Sorry about that, what can I get ya?” he asks.
“Just an Americano to go, please,” You smile back at him.
“Can I offer you any discounted sweet treats?” He gestures to an almost empty cake counter. “They’re discounted because it’s so late, not because they’re bad.” He quickly adds on. You spot a singular chocolate cookie looking very lonely.
“Sure, I’ll take the cookie,” you say, gesturing to it.
“Good choice, madam.” He nods his head, punching it into the register.
“Can I take a name?”
“Do you need it?” You ask, looking around at the empty store.
“Not really, but I’d like it.” He shrugs.
“Y/n,” you sigh. This isn’t what you were looking for at the moment, but you decide to just let it go.
“Not having a good day?” he asks, seemingly concerned.
“Not having a good week,” you say flatly, hoping to communicate your disinterest.
“Well, Y/n, feel free to take a seat and I’ll bring it over to you once it’s done.” He grins again and spins around, getting to work on the coffee machine. God, who even has this much energy this late at night? Crazy people, that’s who.
You sit down at one of the tables, taking out your phone and it reads 12:17am. It feels like it’s mocking you. You scroll through your socials, attempting to keep what small semblance of a social life you think you have together, but a few minutes later, a familiar barista comes into your view. You stand up, accepting the coffee from him and he hands you the cookie which is now in a brown, paper bag.
“One Americano, and one discounted cookie.” He hands you each and you stand up, thanking him.
“And maybe a little extra something, since you’re having a bad week and all,” he adds quietly, shuffling on his feet slightly. You peek inside the bag and notice a candy bar, something chocolatey.
“Thank you,” You stutter, not expecting the kind gesture.
“Come back again soon!” He says, already heading back to the counter where he starts to mess with something, in a clear attempt to look busy. You turn and
leave. Despite the cold air outside, there is an unfamiliar warmth in your body.
The second time you see him.
You wake up the next day, surprisingly on time despite the lack of alarm. It’s only 10am and you mentally prepare yourself for the day ahead of you. The exam is in 5 days. Thankfully you’re studying at home today, not needing the library for today’s subjects. The state of your flat reflects your mind, it’s a mess, dishes in the sink, clothes piling up next to the dryer. After an hour or so of quick chores, it’s in a slightly better state, good enough to study in, you think.
And study, you do. Day turns to night and you find yourself closing the last page of a textbook, letting out a deep breath. You could feel your anxiety beginning to fizzle around your body, not fully convinced you’ve properly ingested all the revision you’ve done. You need some food. The second half of a pizza is sitting untouched from earlier and you kinda feel bad for it, poor thing. Your eyes flicker towards the candy bar sitting on your desk, where it was abandoned last night and you think about the guy from the coffee shop. You throw on a slightly warmer outfit and you definitely don’t spend the walk to the coffee shop thinking about whether he might be working. To your surprise, he is.
You can see him behind the counter from outside, he’s pouring frothed milk into a cup, presumably for the customer standing at the counter. It’s slightly busier at this time, you’re not surprised considering it’s only just coming up to 8pm. You push open the door and the bell jingles like it did the night before. He looks up, looking past the customer in front and his mouth quirks up into a smile, recognising you instantly. You look around him, at the large menu boards, you don’t want to give him an ego.
The customer in front pays for their drink and leaves, and the man’s smile finally points directly at you.
“Hello again, Y/n, what can I get you today?” He grins at you, eyes crinkling. You’re surprised he remembers your name.
“A latte, please,” you say, glancing up at the menu.
“To go, or sit in?” His eyebrow quirks.
“Oh, uh-”
“You’re sitting in,” he answers for you, already punching it into the register.
“Fine.” Your roll your eyes.
“Take a seat.” He gestures to the barstool-type seating a little further down the counter. You’re not really sure why you actually sit down.
“Is your week any better?” He looks over his shoulder as he makes your drink.
“Not really, no.” You respond. He pauses in his actions, looking at you expectingly.
“Are you going to tell me what’s up?”
“We don’t know each other,” you said, eyebrows furrowing.
“Okay, so my name is Jisung, Han Jisung, and today, I’m your barista. Tomorrow, maybe more!” He winks as he turns back to the machine which is spewing out your drink.
“Well, Han Jisung, if you must know, I’m stressed the fuck out for my exam next Monday, I’ve got a practical in two days, and my boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago because I was too much for him. He was just a pathetic, weak little man, I really don’t know how I lasted that long with him.” You found yourself ranting, releasing some of the pent-up frustration you’ve been feeling for the past few days.
“Well,” Jisung starts. “that’s very fair.” He goes quiet for the remainder of the time he is making the drink, leaving a slightly awkward air around you. You focus your eyes on the counter in front of you in an attempt to ignore the stress coming back to you. All of a sudden a drink is slid across the counter.
“Is that a… squirrel?” You look from the cute latte art to the man standing across the counter from you. He looks sheepishly up at you.
“Yeah, looks like me, doesn’t it?” His grin is back, and you can feel a smile creeping onto your face.
“Sure, whatever you say.” Your eyes linger on his for a few moments, until a group of people enter the small cafe and his attention is brought away from you. You discreetly watch him as he works, greeting the customers with a big smile, and using his charisma to get an extra cake sale. You think maybe you fell for the same charisma yesterday, but you don’t really mind because the cookie was pretty good. A few minutes pass, and you sip on your drink, trying to keep the art as intact as possible. Once the last customer had been served he side steps back towards you.
“How is it? Has it fixed your week yet?” He raises his eyebrows, smirking slightly.
“I’m not sure a drink can fix my week,” you respond, letting out a small sigh.
“Nonsense! Of course, it can. Take a sip.” he gestures to you to lift the mug to your lips. You reluctantly take a sip.
“See? It’s working, no?” he chuckles. You put the cup down and try your best not to laugh.
“There’s that pretty smile!” he grins, earning a roll of your eyes. Your phone buzzes with an incoming email from your university, it’s just a random send-to-all type of email but it does remind you of your looming academic responsibilities.
“Thank you, for the squirrel,” you tell him while standing up from the stool.
“Leaving so soon?” he asks, round eyes looking suddenly lost.
“I’ve got work to do, I’ll see you around.”
“You better.” His grin is wide as he watches you leave, hoping you do come back soon.
The third time you see him.
“We crushed it!” You celebrate with your best friend, the two of you have just partaken in a mock legal trial as part of an assessment. Your Professor had wanted to challenge the class, setting up fake suspects and witnesses, and had even arranged for a court stenographer to be present. Your group had won the case, despite the opposing team putting up a pretty tough fight.
“Did you see the look on the judged face when you caught out the lying witness? I was trying so hard not to say something.” Your friend gushes, talking faster than you could keep up with.
“I know!” You laugh but break into a yawn as the previous nights studying catches up with you once the excitement is over.
“Coffee?” She asks.
“Absolutely.”
You’re so engrossed in the conversation as the two of you walk that you don’t even realise you’ve made it all the way to the familiar coffee shop. You stop in your tracks a few feet from the door.
“Not here,” you groan.
“Why not? This place does the best coffee on campus.” She looks confused as she turns back to you.
“I always see the same barista, and he always hits on me, I just can’t be bothered today.” You whine a little, trying to convince her.
“Well, is he working right now?”
You take a step further, enough to look through the window and see the counter. There is a man, but it’s not Jisung.
“I don’t see him.” You trail off, scanning the rest of the shop as much as you can see.
“Alright then, we’re getting coffee here.” Your friend grabs you by the hand and practically pulls you into the small cafe. There is a surprising queue, so you continue to just make conversation with her until you’re next at the counter. The barista who serves you has curly, black hair and biceps that honestly look like they’re about to burst his sleeves. He greets both of you with a smile and begins to punch your orders into the register.
“Changbin! Catch!” You hear a familiar voice. Your heart sinks to your ass. The barista serving you, Changbin, turns back and looks towards the door into the back. Peeking around the cake stand, you catch a glimpse of Jisung. He’s hanging onto the door with a container of what looks like soya milk. He throws it, and Changbin catches it.
“Sorry about that, our delivery was late this morning and only just arrived, so it’s a bit crazy right now,” Changbin explains, replacing an empty soya milk container.
“Don’t worry about it. It happens.” You shrug. He finishes taking your order and the two of you move to the side to wait.
“He’s kind of fit,” your friend leans into you to say, once you’re both out of earshot.
“In more ways than one.” you giggle.
Your attention is quickly averted towards the door to the backroom, particularly to Jisung who is rushing out of it and towards the counter, tying his apron at the same time.
“Sorry Bin, it’s a nightmare back there.” He says, getting to work on coffee orders.
“No worries, we’re not too busy anymore, the rush seems to be over.” You realise that you and your friend were the last in the queue and the cafe has died down a little since you first entered. Jisung also takes a quick glance around, and that’s when he spots you.
“Y/n,” he says. “Back to see me so soon?” His lips turn up into a small smirk.
“You wish.” You roll your eyes. He just laughs and turns back to the coffee machine. You look at your friend and give her a look, the look you get in return translates to 'message received'.
“He’s kinda cute,” she whispers to you, thankfully you were far away enough for her not to be heard. You sighed. He is kind of cute but that’s not what you’re looking for right now. You’re in a weird enough head space as it is with all the stress of law school and the breakup, not even two weeks ago! You can’t seriously be thinking about dating so soon. Right…?
You’re ripped from your thoughts by the very same man that caused them.
“A white hot chocolate?” Jisung announces to the two of you, but he’s looking at you.
“Yeah, that’s me.” You step up to the counter and begin to take it.
“You’re looking very fancy today, big plans?” he asks, smiling.
“I had a mock trial this morning.” You say and he looks at you with wide eyes, kind of like a deer in headlights.
“You know, like a court trial?” you ask.
“Law! That’s what you’re studying.” He finally realises.
“I didn’t say?” You’re now the one who’s confused.
“No, you never, I’ve been trying to figure it out, trying to guess.” he laughs. Changbin appears next to him and slides an espresso onto the counter, your friend stepping over to take it.
“Bin, they’re a lawyer! Isn’t that cool?” Jisung gushes a little, looking back at you with big eyes.
“They won their trial this morning.” Your friend interrupts before you can say anything. You shoot her a look.
“Really?” The big, sparkling doe eyes are back as he leans against the counter.
“I, uh, yeah,” you stutter a little.
“Wow, that’s so cool.”
“Sung, I don’t pay you to stand around and flirt with our customers.” Changbin walks back towards the coffee machine and he begins prepping another order.
“You don’t pay me at all, you’re not even a manager!” Jisung starts whining as he stands up properly. He turns back to you.
“Enjoy your drinks!” He says. You take this as your queue to leave and make a beeline out of the coffee shop, drink in hand. Your friend follows behind you, honestly a little confused.
Once you’re a safe distance from the shop, you finally feel able to breathe again.
The fourth time you see him.
Beep… beep… beep…
Your alarm. You reach over and turn it off, groaning as you roll back over, the feeling of dread already seeping into your bones. It’s the morning of the exam. The exam you’ve been dreading. The exam that is responsible for 60% of your grade. You groan again.
You feel heavy as you walk around your flat, attempting to get ready for the day ahead of you. It doesn’t help that you broke the fundamental exam rule of getting a good night’s sleep, tossing and turning until eventually passing out. So many textbooks have been haunting your thoughts that you barely noticed you’ve also been thinking about something else. Or rather someone else.
You can’t stop, he keeps popping up in your mind. His round face, and big smile. You feel yourself smiling just thinking about it. But fuck, it feels wrong. You shouldn’t be thinking about him. You don’t have time! You have a big exam, which conveniently starts in just over an hour.
You need a coffee.
You get to the familiar coffee shop at 11:31am. Your exam starts at noon. It takes 20 minutes to walk to the campus building it’s being held at. You probably don’t have time for this.
You see him. He’s behind the counter. You think your head hurts.
“Hey,” he greets you with that smile again. You feel sick. “What can I getcha?”
“Just a black coffee, to go.” Your voice croaks a little from its lack of use.
“You’re not staying with me?” He smirks, punching it into the register.
“No.”
You see him falter a little at your cold tone. His eyebrows quirk down a little.
“Are you alright?” he asks as you swipe your phone to pay.
“Stop it, Jisung. Can’t you just leave me alone today, God,” you say exasperated, and step away from the counter. You try to ignore the hurt look in his eye and you really try to ignore the way he shrunk in on himself. A different member of staff you’ve never seen before hands you the drink and you leave the coffee shop without looking back at him.
The exam goes terribly. At least it feels like it goes terribly. Your head is a mess, the guilt chewing at you the entire time. You do your best, writing everything you recall but by the end of it you have a decent headache and the pit in your gut has grown. You leave the exam and go home, collapsing in your bed and you fall asleep telling yourself you’ll feel better when you wake up.
The fifth time you see him.
You wake up in the afternoon the next day.
You don’t feel much better. Not after binging on a pizza and your favourite chocolate. Not after watching that movie that makes you cry every time. Not even after you’ve journaled about it. You think that particular journal entry is mostly scrambled nonsense. It probably is.
You decide to go for a walk to clear your head. Maybe the cold, winter air will freshen you up, and make you feel a bit better. With a big coat and a warm scarf wrapped around you, you walk into the evening air, it’s already past 11pm so you mostly see young people out drinking despite the weather. You have no destination but of course, you end up there.
The warm, yellow-toned light pours from the window as usual. The bell above the door is jarring to your fragile little heart.
He’s there.
He has his back to you, cleaning some sort of container in the sink.
“Two seconds!” he sing-songs. You don’t respond. A few seconds later he’s done and spins around to you. His eyes widen a little and then drop.
“Hi.” He steps towards the register.
“Hi,” you respond.
“Would you like something to drink?” his tone is passive, despite his words being polite.
“A hot chocolate, please, to sit in.” You try to smile at him, he focuses on the register. He nudges the card reader towards you as he steps away to get started on your drink. You move towards the bar-stool seating you sat on previously.
“Do you mind if I sit here?” you ask. He looks back to you.
“Go ahead,” he glances back at you. You take a seat and look around, and you realise for the first time that you’re the only person in here, apart from Jisung. You look back towards him just as he put the cup down in front of you.
“Thank you,” you smile again, he gives you a small one but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He turns away and starts fiddling with the coffee machine.
“Jisung, can I talk to you?” you ask.
“I thought you wanted me to leave you alone.” He says without turning around.
“Please.”
That gets him to turn around at least, even if he is still looking at anything but you.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you yesterday. I was just a mess, and that’s not an excuse but I need you to know I didn’t mean it,” you trail off, picking up your drink and taking a sip, appreciating its sweetness.
“And to be honest, I kind of miss the flirty Jisung. I was beginning to like him.” You take another sip of your hot chocolate, smirking to yourself when you see his head shoot up toward you.
“You do?” His eyes soften a little when you nod.
“I really am sorry.”
“It’s okay. Well, it’s not okay. But it’s okay. To be honest, I probably was coming on weirdly strong, huh?” He scratches the back of his neck while you chuckle.
There is a moment of silence as you look down at your hot chocolate. Until a thought sparks in your head.
“Why do you flirt with me?”
“What?” His eyes widen and the poor guy looks like he’s about to shit his pants.
“Why do you flirt with me? Or do you just flirt with anyone?” You raise an eyebrow.
“No! I don’t, it’s really just you, and I don’t know why, I just kinda… liked you? I mean, you seemed cool and nice and definitely my type.” He catches himself rambling.
“I’m your type?” You ask, smirking.
“Well, yeah.” he chuckles. You laugh too.
“Han Jisung, I think we should go on a date.” You say, definitively.
“Really?!” He stands up from where he was leaning against the back counter and crosses towards you.
“Actually, never mind.” You roll your eyes, chuckling.
“Do not play with my heart like this, I’m sensitive!” he clutches at his chest dramatically, making you laugh louder.
“Fine, but I get to pick where we’re going.”
“Deal! Just tell me a time and I’ll be there.” His grin tells you that he will live up to that. You fall into another silence as you hold each other’s gaze, just smiling.
“Hey, Y/n, you want a discounted cookie?”
“I’d love one.”
taglist - @lethallyprotected
the way my self respect leaves when they be 3raching
guess who just got bubble
just chan and jeongin for now tho
I'm so excited idk what'll happen now
i just finished 20th century girl. when there were 30 minutes left i was so happy and wondered why people said it was so sad
I'm gonna cry
Routine
Lee Know x reader
Warnings: none - just cavity inducing fluff
It was your routine.
Every morning at around 5:30, the cats got hungry. They always did. You never lock them out of the bedroom you and your boyfriend share, so when they got hungry, they came in to wake whoever would feed them. It was your routine.
You didn't have the heart to tell Minho, but they always woke you up first. They learned that sometimes your boyfriend is gone, but you were always there. So they would hop on the bed, meowing and pawing at whatever exposed body part they could find. It never failed to wake you, but when Minho was home, you knew he liked to feed them. So you would pretend to still be sleeping and eventually, the kitties would move over to wake Minho. It was your routine.
When Minho woke, he would immediately shush and scold the cats because they could have woken you. You would suppress a smile as he carefully scoops each cat from the bed and ushers them out of the room. He thinks you're still asleep and you let him believe it. You made the mistake of getting up to help him one time and he looked so sad because he thought he woke you. So now you pretend to sleep while he feeds the cats. It was your routine.
While the cats eat he will pitter around the kitchen. On days when he has to work, he will start making breakfast for the two of you, trying very hard to be quiet and cursing when he bangs a pan or a timer goes off. On days when he doesn't work, he will get on his phone. You would get notifications that he sent a Bubble message, or he shared a cat reel with you on Instagram that you force yourself to ignore for now. It was your routine.
When the cats are finished eating, he will pick them up one by one and bring them back into the bedroom, placing them on the bed with you. Dori wastes no time climbing on top of you and snuggling up. Soonie liked to curl up in the warm spot left by Minho, forever in love with their dad. Doongi was the problem child and would jump off the bed and try and wander. You could hear Minho whispering at Doongi to get them to stay on the bed and cuddle. Eventually, when the cats are settled, Minho will squeeze back in bed, placing Soonie on top of him in the process, and snuggling close to you. It was your routine.
Sometimes he will sandwich the cats between the both of you, an arm lazily draped over your shoulders, maintaining contact, as he falls back to sleep. Sometimes he lies there and strokes the hair from your face, admiring you with his babies. Sometimes he gets close and peppers your face with kisses, which was his way of waking you. When your eyes flutter open, he'll place a gentle kiss on your upturned lips before mumbling something about breakfast. It was your routine.
And you wouldn't change it for anything.
for people who haven’t read the shadow and bone/ six of crows books, but have seen the show:
- inej ghafa is a survivor of childhood sex trafficking. she has ptsd and reacts in a panic attack at even walking past the menagerie
- kaz’s trauma isn’t just pekka rollins being responsible for jordie’s death, and waking up on the barge. he had to swim to shore, age nine and barely alive, using jordie’s body as a float
- the darkling has done far worse things than are shown on screen. he is not a ‘lost man’ and alina is not his ‘balance’
- alina was seventeen upon the darkling being nsfw/ romantic with her
- matthias helvar did not lead drüskelle, that was jarl brum- matthias is only just barely an adult himself
- the crows are not their own separate gang, they are part of the dregs, who per haskell leads and kaz takes over from haskell after haskell sold out his lieutenant (kaz) to pekka rollins
- zoya, genya, and alina have personalities outside of either being traumatised or hating each other
- alina never wanted any of the power and fame and idolatry, and in the end of the books is stripped of it all. she is very happy about this
- jesper is a gambling addict and somebody who watched the death of his mother