Is There A Particular Reason Why You Want To Wait To Have Sex?

Today is #WorldToiletDay. Did you know 2.5 billion people - 36% of the world’s population - don’t have access to a clean and safe toilet?

Learn how we work with communities around the world to end #opendefecation and provide clean and safe toilets for all: http://uni.cf/1qrPCSk

January 1st Reflections

Welcome to 2014 everybody. I know that the beginning of a new year is always a time for nostalgia and a time for optimism. It creates a fresh start for those who feel that they may need one. And I do understand the wonder when the clock strikes midnight and you start Day 1 of 365. 

But I would like to remind you that this is simply another 365 days. It's another circle 'round the sun. It's the beginning of a new calendar, which is a socially constructed method of keeping track of our planet's rotations, determined largely by greek rulers ages and ages ago. 

There is nothing magic about the new year. The single second that makes the difference in the date has no power whatsoever. The gravity you ascribe to the new year is entirely in your head. New beginnings have nothing to do with the date and everything to do with you. 

You can start over any second of any day of any month. You can quit anything, drop everything, pick up and leave. You can switch your major or your school or your career path. You can change anything at all about your life and you don't have to wait for the perfect time to do it. Firstly because there is no time like the present and secondly because there is no guarantee that the perfect time will even happen. 

If you want to lose 10 pounds, start RIGHT NOW. If you want to get your finances in order, start RIGHT NOW. If you want to fix relationships, start RIGHT NOW. If you want to reinvent your image, start RIGHT NOW. If you want to learn something new, start RIGHT NOW. If you want to develop your character, start RIGHT NOW. 

Nothing is to be accomplished by waiting. New Year's resolutions are so seldom fulfilled because too much emphasis is placed on the circumstances of the resolution and too little is placed on the conviction behind the resolution. 

The magic is in you. Not in the day. 

I’ll return to Biblical womanhood gladly. Because Biblical womanhood is Deborah being called by God to lead the nation of Israel into victory. Biblical womanhood is Jesus choosing a woman as the first person to whom He revealed His identity as The Messiah and making her the first evangelist. Biblical womanhood is Jesus revealing himself first to women after His resurrection, trusting them with the task of telling His disciples. Biblical womanhood is Jesus inviting Mary and Martha to sit at his feet to be taught as disciples, valuing their presence there with Him instead of busying themselves with meal preparation and “women’s work.” Biblical womanhood is Paul calling Lydia and Priscilla his coworkers in Christ. Biblical womanhood is Priscilla teaching Apollos (a man) and her name being listed before that of her husband, Aquila, when the couple is mentioned in scripture. Biblical womanhood is Paul referring to Phoebe as a minister and a leader. Biblical womanhood is Lydia founding the church in Phillippi. Biblical womanhood is countless other examples of women, valued and empowered by Christ, teaching and leading right alongside men. 

Biblical womanhood is not a few taken-out-of-context verses, written to specific audiences and wrongfully universally applied, about women remaining silent in church and not having authority over men. 

Now that I have a Lightbox I can take updated photos of Archibald Asparagus Saint Sebastian

The Law and The One Who Made The Law

On Sunday, I was helping out with the kiddies program in the morning church service. I LOVE being with the kids, but this morning I felt that there was something wrong. The lesson was about sin, and I think that the message the kids were supposed to take home was "Don't Sin." We told them stories about people who did drugs and stole stuff and ran away from homes and discussed the various mistakes these people made, and defined sin and then told them that the people in the stories met Jesus and cleaned up their lives and went on to do a whole bunch of really great things for God. 

I'm sure it sounds like a very positive message at first glance, but something really unsettled me about it: 

It's all well and good to tell the kids to obey their parents and tell the truth and share and don't do drugs and stay in school. However, why are we so focused on all these rules for how we should behave and not on The One who made the rules? 

Cause see, the gospel is not a behaviour-control program. The church does not exist to make sure that everyone is following the rules. And Jesus didn't die so that we would have to be perfect. 

What I'm trying to say is that instead of telling these kids what they can and cannot do, we should introduce them to Jesus, and tell them about his amazy-crazy, upside-down inside-out, spin-you-all-around LOVE. I think that we should tell them that Jesus knows them better than anyone else in the world and that He loves them more than anyone else in the world does. I think we should tell them that they are His precious treasure, His beloved son/daughter, the apple of His eye. I think we should tell them that He has an awesome plan for their life and that He's gonna do great things in them and through them. Finally, I think we should tell them that He loves them so much that He died for them, so that their sins would be repaid and they could go to heaven. Don't you think that such a message would be far more effective than "Don't do this. Don't do that." I feel like if they knew the one who made them and loves them, they would be naturally less inclined to seek fulfillment in thrills, drugs, alcohol and sex ANYWAY, and we wouldn't have to try and hammer it into their skulls so much. 

Don't get me wrong, we do tell the kids all the stuff I said up there. We tell it to them all the time. My church is not remiss in informing the children of their infinite value to their creator. I just think that if Sunday morning's service was the only one a child had ever been to, they would think that church was just a list of Do's and Don'ts. So I believe that instead of just talking about sin, we need to prevent a more holistic view of the relationship between God and humans. I think we need to present the gospel to these kids in BIG BOLD ITALIC CAPS every single time we see them, because knowing the love of Christ is infinitely more important than knowing the rules. 

That's all.  Peace and love!  -Katherine

“When you turn your face away from the young lady with severe boils and dry scabs covering every inch of her skin do you feel yourself grow? Do you feel new, with shedding snake skin peeling off of your body, making you vibrant and bright? Do you feel beautiful when you turn the ugly away? When you talk to the twenty six year old man with moderate autism like he is five years old, do you feel grown? When he cannot write the word garbage correctly, do you treat him like trash - discarded and forgotten? Do you feel intelligent with the world on your side, only seeking to understand the average and the normal? When you knock your child around, do you feel big? Do you feel the power coursing through your veins? Do you feel the adrenaline pumping through your body? When he cowers in fear at your words of “USELESS” and “WORTHLESS” do you feel worthy of his attention, of his affection, of his love? When you stand on the other side of homosexuality and send your acid laced words claiming biblical truth to burn their sin away, do you feel righteous? When your hate filled phrases make someone want to kill themselves to “get rid of the gay” do you feel loving? When you split marriage to be between one man and one woman do you feel like an earthquake, dividing the world to fit your standard and letting those you don’t understand fall to the core of the world, so you can walk all over them again? When you send a man to his death, do you feel like God? Do you feel the way mountains long to be moved and women scream to be heard and little boys cry at night because they know they are girls and everyone tells them that they are confused? Tell me, do you feel like God? You are no God, you of weak and little love, your hands did not build ribcages of protection and skeletons of structure. Your back did not bear his burdens when they threatened to crush him. You did not pick the larva out of the wounds of the divine and beg to bathe him. You did not care for her when she had next to nothing, but you cared for yourself when you took her everything. Your hands are not dirty from digging him out of the mud, but clean because you were the one who pushed him in. You did not pick up your cross and crucify yourself with him, you were the one in the crowd shouting, “KILL HIM” Depart from me. Depart from him. Go and find love.”

— Amanda Helm, Depart from Me (via amandaspoetry)

Is masturbation a sin?

Oi. Okay, um…I won’t say that this is a “complicated” question, per se, but I will say that it’s going to be hard to clearly explain my thoughts on the subject. So just bear with me. 

Disclaimer: because you used the word sin, I’m assuming you want a Christian perspective, which is really the only perspective I give anyway :P So that’s what this will be. 

From a biblical perspective, I think that the act itself of masturbation is not a sin, but the reasons we do it can be sinful. 

A few years ago, I wondered this very thing and I went in search of answers but couldn’t find anything conclusive. There are too many different interpretations of the bible, too many different pastors with different opinions. Since then I’ve matured (a tiny bit) and I’ve come to my own conclusions. And here they are: 

Sexual health professionals say that masturbation is healthy and, of course, they’re right. It’s necessary, in fact. Especially for guys. Male bodies are producing sperm and semen from a pretty young age, waaaaayy before they’re ready to get married and/or have sex. It needs to be ejaculated. You can’t just ignore that. So masturbation is necessary and healthy. Okay, cool. 

Also, the bible, which mentions many other sexual sins and perversions in lurid detail, does not mention masturbation once. NOT ONCE. NOT A SINGLE TIME. Isn’t that odd? Every single other sin is mentioned in the bible, but masturbation is not. Hmm…must be cause masturbation is not a sin! 

But here’s why people might try to convince you it’s a sin, and why you’re wondering whether or not it’s a sin. The bible does mention lust. It compares lust to adultery (Matthew 5:28), it repeatedly tells us to flee from sexual immorality, it speaks of covenant eyes (Job 31:1) so we can safely assume that lust is not a good thing. The catholics even put it in their seven deadly sins! 

And we have a problem because lust is a thing of the heart and the mind, and masturbation is a thing of the body, but the heart and mind are inextricable linked to the body. Therefore, masturbation is *almost* always connected to a sin, because it is accompanied by sexual fantasies about the girl/guy in our english class, or that model; or because it’s accompanied by porn. [Sidenote: porn is definitely sinful. That absolutely falls into the lust category. Also, porn is highly addictive. Like, family-ruining, job-losing addictive. And before you know it, you’re being treated for depression and ADHD when all that was really wrong with you was a porn addiction. See here.] So because we may be struggling in our hearts with lust, we will also be struggling in our bodies with masturbation. I found this quote on this website that I thought explained it rather well: 

“Specifically, if the act is done merely as a hedge against temptation and as thebody requires then there is no need for the above sinful “crutches”. This is hardly exciting, and a rote act of keeping the body in submission. It cannot be done often, as the body is not that demanding if left alone by a perverted imagination.”

So in conclusion, masturbation is not the sickness, but it can be a symptom. I rarely say stuff like this, because I’m not really an authority on…well, anything. However, I want to say it in this situation: IF you (you meaning anyone) feel like you’re struggling with masturbation, here are some things I want to tell you:

1. Bear in mind that masturbation is not the sin. You are probably suffering from some “soul-sickness”. And getting better is not about trying to go as long as you can without masturbating. Trying to go more than 24 hours without masturbating, or trying to go two days, or a week…that’s not dealing with the real issue. That’s just frustrating for you. Getting better is dealing with what’s really going on - your heart and mind are out of line. It might be a porn addiction. It might be frequent fantasizing, or staring a bit too long at that person. Whatever it is, if you deal with that, the masturbating thing will take care of itself. 

2. Don’t be ashamed. Sometimes, the church puts this stigma on sexual sins and we can’t talk about it and it’s all so hush-hush. But it’s better to talk about it than to try to deal with it on your own. That being said, talk to someone you can trust. Someone who loves you. Someone who will be discreet and sensitive and actually try to help. 

3. PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY! We are not capable of turning off lustful thoughts at the flip of a switch. We do not have that much control over our own thoughts. We need a lot of help. And read your bible, because having your head filled with God’s word is a good way to keep impure thoughts out. 

4. Remember that God loves you and I love you no matter what. :)

Thanks for the question :) I hope that what I said made sense at least, and at best was somewhat helpful. :) Peace and love! -Katherine 

Jesus is Loving Barrabas Interlude

What are your thoughts on casual drinking?

Funnily enough, I was talking to someone about this today! 

Okay so I have this theory that God tells us not to do stuff to protect us. I know I’m so brilliant, right? lol :P But I mean, he tells us not to get drunk (See Ephesians 5:18, Galatians 5:21, 1 Corinthians 6:10, and 1 Peter 5:8) and not to gamble, and to avoid sexual promiscuity. Now all of these things have a fair amount of risk associated with them. When you’re drunk you can make some pretty stupid decisions and hurt people and probably regret a few things down the road. And also of course there’s the liver damage. Gambling can lead to addictions which can destroy your finances, your family and your life. And sexual promiscuity can lead to unwanted pregnancies, STDs and a whole bunch of emotional crap that I mentioned here. So this theory is that everything God tells us not to do is for a good reason and we’re probably better off without it anyway! 

So basically, if God says not to do something, I trust that he knows what he’s talking about, and I figure that’s a good enough reason for me not to do it. By this logic, I choose not to get drunk. That being said, I see no problem with casual drinking. It’s all a personal decision anyway! I choose not to get drunk, but I always try a sip of my friends’ beers (it ALWAYS tastes disgusting) and I took a shot for my friend’s 19th birthday, but I’ve never consumed enough alcohol for it to have the slightest effect on me. Lots of my friends drink, and I’ve seen my friends get drunk. I’m not gonna tell anyone what to do, and if you drink I don’t care, that’s your business! If you’re a Christian and you drink casually, I’m not judging you. If you’re genuinely wondering my opinion because you are trying to figure out where you stand I say choose for yourself, draw your line and know your limit. 

Hope this helped! :)

Peace and love! -Katherine

Hate in the name of God is still devil worship.