Evangelicals Being Like "god Made Men To Do This And Be Like This And Women To Do That And Be Like That

What's your opinion on homosexuality?

(If you don’t wanna read all those words, just skip to the bottom where it says “Moral of the story”)Jesus said that the most important commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength (okay, cool, makes sense) BUUUTTT….the SECOND most important commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:37-39; Mark 12:29-31) And there are entire chapters of the bible devoted entirely to the importance of loving people (1 Corinthians 13) So! Here are the facts: Fact Number 1: Jesus loves you. Like, He really, REALLY loves you. Deeply, passionately, intimately, overwhelmingly. He loves you enough to die for you. He loves you so much that He DESPERATELY wants to have a personal relationship with you - to talk to you, to hear your thoughts and to walk with you through this life. Fact Number 2: I love you. I think that every single person in the world deserves to be loved and deserves to be respected simply due to the fact that you are a person and God made you and loves you. Okay, so now we’ve established that Jesus loves you and I love you, for no other reason than the fact that you’re alive, and no matter what. That cannot be altered, edited, ignored, abated, cancelled out, destroyed or denied. Moving on…I cannot confidently give you an opinion on Nature vs Nurture. If science has yet to confirm the varying influences of these conflicting forces, I will not presume to attempt to do so. I have a basic knowledge of the bible (as in, I’ve read it and journaled about it lol) and limited knowledge of the research behind the genetic role in homosexuality. Therefore, I am not qualified to give you my opinion in that area.  Interestingly, I recently read a novel for my English course called Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson, which is both her debut novel and an autobiographical novel (while not actually being an autobiography). It’s about a girl who grows up in a Pentecostal household (which happens to be my denomination) in northern England in the 60s and turns out to be a lesbian. Which, I’m sure you can guess, causes all sorts of conflict in her family and in her church community. The religious characters in the novel condemned her, saying that it was a malicious act of will on her part. They said stuff like “You made an immoral proposition that cannot be countenanced.” and “Never trust a sinner.” Those quotes made me pretty angry because they demonstrate a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of God and sin. About halfway through the novel, in the margin of the page, I penciled the words “Byes don’t know the bible.” (I’m from Newfoundland. We say byes.) Because EVERYONE’S A SINNER! And the very nature or sin has nothing to do with willpower. You can’t magically wish yourself holy. You know? The people in the book seem to think that if one wants to be a ‘good’ person, to be perfect and righteous, you just have to choose to do so. Which is crap! People are not good. We are physically incapable of being good, by nature of the fact that we are born in to sin and we suffer from what is called “the human condition” (which just means being mortal and making mistakes). I’m not sure how that relates to homosexuality, but I hope that gives you some insight into my view of humanity and perfection in general. Finally, like I said in my last answer, I think that EVERYBODY NEEDS JESUS! As aforementioned, Jesus loves you and desperately wants a relationship with you. And I personally believe that you would benefit greatly from a relationship with Him. Everybody. Heterosexual, Homosexual, Transsexual, Bisexual, Asexual! EVERYBODY, no matter who you are, what you look like, where you come from, what you’ve done, where you’ve been, what you’ve been through. He loves you RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW! And He wants to have a relationship with you exactly how you are right here right now. To wrap this up, if Jesus thinks there’s something in your life you need to change…whether it be pride, laziness, gossip, lust, whatever….He’ll tell you. And I will try to focus on what He’s trying to tell ME! And I’ll keep trying to work on my issues and not presume to discern what He wants to tell you. Moral of the story: My job is to love, not judge.  

Peace and love!-Katherine  

What's Really Going On When Men Call Women 'Crazy'

I did have a few breakups I would qualify with, "I don't mean 'I can't be bothered to figure out where things went wrong, I mean that she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder," but for the most part, "crazy" meant "acting in a way I didn't like." I didn't realize just how damaging this attitude was in the way I related to women.

If your parents weren't religious do you think you'd still have strong faith?

Of course not. Where, I ask you, would I have met Jesus in the first place, if not for my parents? Who knows, maybe He would have arranged a meeting for me at some point in my life. I hope that parallel-universe me would be sensible enough to open up to Him. I often wonder what I'd be like if I didn't know Jesus. I speculate sometimes that I'd be rather more promiscuous, with significantly lower self-esteem. I would most likely be a lover of alcohol. Beyond that, I have trouble figuring out what parts of me are me and what parts are Jesus. Would I have the same love and compassion for people? Would I have black and white views or would I be all grey areas? I don't know the answers to those questions. I don't know where I'd be if I didn't know Jesus. But I do know that I'm grateful I never will. I'm exceedingly thankful that I got that early introduction, cause my life with Jesus is frickin awesome! HahahaThanks for the question :)Peace and love! -Katherine 

With regards to your homosexuality conversation as a gay Christian man, I don't agree with this. For a number of reasons. I believe God would want everyone of his children to be happy. I am not having sex until marriage but, when I marry my boyfriend I want to adopt children and live a normal life. I have always had a very strong devotion to The Lord, I love him, and I know he loves me. He made me this way for a reason. I don't believe he would condemn me for sharing my love.

Cool! It’s awesome to get your input on this; thanks so much for stopping by to chat :)

I think that also makes perfect sense. After all, Psalm 37:4 says to delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. And later on in that same chapter, it says “The Lord directs the steps of the Godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.” 

Okay so I have a question, and you totally don’t have to answer it! But if you’re down to answer it, what’s the deal with your church? Are they cool with your life plan, cause that would be awesome, and I haven’t as of yet come in contact with a church like that. So I’m just really interested to find out. 

Thanks! Peace and love :)-Katherine 

How many? How much?

My friend is really smart. She also happens to have anorexia. She once said to me, “Anorexics aren’t supposed to be around numbers. The’re just tools humans use to destroy themselves.” As you can tell, the latter statement had a profound impact on me. That’s why I’m writing about it. Numbers define our lives. Our age, height, weight and BMI are measured in numbers. Our academic accomplishments and athletic accomplishments are measured in numbers. Our schedules revolve around the clock - also numbers. “How many calories?” “How many hours did it take?” “How many people were there?” “How much do you make?” “How many pages?” “How many words?” “How many points?” “How many goals? How many assists?” “How many years?” How many? How many? How many? I think that so often, we fall into the trap of thinking that these numbers that measure our bodies or measure the things that we do are also measuring us. And the problem with that is that once you start measuring, you find that you will never measure up. As soon as you put a numerical value on your identity you will find that there will always be someone who has a higher number, or lower number. Here’s the thing: you’re not a number. You’re thinking, “well obviously, Katherine.” But hear me out. You are not your weight. You are not your GPA. You are not the number of points you score or how much money you make. You’re a person. There is absolutely no conceivable way in the known universe, in the limitations of time as we know it, that numbers could logically be used to express a person. We can graph the curve of your face and we can create a function for the way you walk, but mathematically we will never capture you. You’re a person. You were created by God, in the image of God. As He is beautiful, so are you. As He is spirit, so are you. And you are His masterpiece. His piece de resistance. This all-powerful deity, who always was and always will be, who mapped the stars, who knitted the fabric of the universe, who choreographed the dance of the planets, who paints every single sunset, who filled the seas with fish and the skies with birds...He thinks that you are the best thing He made. [Talking about God gets me TURNT but I’ll leave the rest for another time.] He gave you a soul. Do you even know how exciting a soul is? A soul is intangible. It is infinite. It is the part of you that recognizes God’s face and it will last forever. It remembers the beginning of the world and it will see the end. It has the entire universe in it. It has ancient empires in it. It has lost civilizations in it. It has dead languages in it. It has unborn languages in it. It has novels in it. It has symphonies in it. Let me edit that last paragraph: You are intangible. You are infinite. You recognize God’s face and you will last forever. You remember the beginning of the world and you will see the end. You have the entire universe in you. You have ancient empires in you. You have lost civilizations in you. You have dead languages in you. You have unborn languages in you. You have novels in you. You have symphonies in you. Do you honestly believe that a being so majestic, so beautiful, so wonderful, can be MEASURED? The answer is absolutely not. You are immeasurable. There’s no scale or standard or system by which you can be counted. You are invaluable. Your worth is far beyond measure. Therefore, there are only two numbers you can use to describe yourself: 1. That’s how many of you there are. You are unique. You are one of a kind. You can’t be compared to others because you’re in your own category. ∞ ← That’s the infinity symbol. Admittedly, infinity, by its nature, is not a number. It’s mathematical concept. And that’s how valuable you are. This reminder has been brought to you by your friendly neighborhood Katherine. Love y’all! Peace and love! -Katherine

How do you feel about the scandals that revolved around the Christian brothers (sexual assault towards youth) in Newfoundland and other similar scandals? Things like this have caused many to loose confidence with their faith, what are your thoughts on that?

Hey baby! (Don’t be weirded out, I use a various terms of endearment with all my friends and acquaintances) 

And ugh. I have a bunch of different thoughts on this topic. I’ve heard soooo many different opinions on this. I’ve heard of churches going door to door to collect donations to bail priests out of jail, priests who were incarcerated for sexual assault on a minor. Now, the reliability of these reports is dubious, at best. I honestly cannot formulate an opinion on that idea, or its truth. Now, in my own church, we had a scandal a couple years back. One of the pastors at my church was convicted of sexual deviancy, the likes of which is apparently a crime. Man, I dunno what happened. It was kind of a mess, tbh. Obviously, he lost his job at my church and I’m pretty sure with the PAONL in general. I also think they told him he could be re-ordinated if he took counselling and stuff. 

First up. Obviously, pastors/priests/reverends/whatever are people just like the rest of us. They’re gonna screw up. That’s a-given. But when they screw up in such a way that it hurts other people, we absolutely must acknowledge it. We must acknowledge the damage done, and we must take steps to show that we acknowledge it and to attempt to rectify it. I am sorry, but child pornography, and sexually assaulting young boys, or whatever, that’s straight-up awful. And I would be in 100% agreement with the church if they fired the people who committed these crimes. Any other company would. We don’t have to pretend like we’re perfect. It’s no secret that we’re really not. To preach sexual purity and selflessness and love for others and a straight moral path and then to defend those who CLEARLY violate these teachings is hypocritical, it’s not grace. Hate the sin. Love the sinner. But really, really hate the sin. Don’t defend it. Don’t excuse it. Don’t justify it. Hate it. 

On the other side of that, grace is a part of this too. Churches are full of hypocrites. That’s why we’re there. We as Christians do not think we’re perfect, rather we are acutely aware of our imperfection. We strive everyday to become more Christlike but it is a battle against our very nature and by default is possible only by the grace of God. We absolutely must forgive and accept the people who commit these heinous crimes, because that’s what God does.

I know it’s really hard for us to wrap our brains around, but all sin is equal to God. Lying is the same as murdering. Envy is the same as rape. It sounds ludicrous to us, because human morals have a measurement of severity, based on the effects the transgressions have on the people around us. God’s only measurement is “perfect” or “not perfect” and any sin, no matter how awful, or how trivial, is in the “not perfect” category. Romans 3:23 says “for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” …”fallen short of the glory of God”. That’s what sin is. It literally means not being divine. Well if that’s the definition, then heck yeah everybody has sinned! 

So my point in saying that is that we need to forgive even the worst of humans, because we are just like them. I listened to this talk by Judah Smith about how we hate Barrabbas so much, the guy the jews told Pontias Pilate to free instead of Jesus. He was a murderer and they let him go free instead of Jesus! Like what the heck? Oh wait a minute…he’s me. Jesus bought his freedom just like he bought mine. We are all the same. We sin the same and God loves us the same. 

HOWEVER. All our actions have consequences. Forgiving someone and extending grace to them does not always mean that they will be exempt from the consequences of their actions. Losing your job and going to jail may be the consequences of your actions. So be it. That’s only fair, as far as fair goes on earth. 

And finally, people are gonna let you down. They’re going to shock, dismay, disappoint and hurt you. We are an imperfect being, plagued by mortality. But don’t give up on God. He’s the only one who will not disappoint you. I know His church screws up. I know some of His so-called “followers” are batcrap crazy. I know He gets a bad rep cause people misuse His label and they say one thing but do another. I know, I know, I know. I heard a comedian put it this way: “I like Elvis but I don’t like all his crazy fans.” This is why I think it’s so important for the church to be very careful about their reaction to scandals like this so that we demonstrate that we acknowledge the pain and the damage, we do not condone the behaviour, we apologize for it while still being gracious. It’s a very tricky situation. But at the end of the day, everyone’s relationship with God is their own business and their own responsibility. No one’s gonna take the credit or the blame for your eternity. My advice is to look past the stupid manmade institution called Religion. [Sidenote: I am a strong advocate of the church. I love the church. I think serving and being a part of a body of believers who will edify you in your faith is awesome.] Because God cannot be contained by a building or a group of people or a list of rules or even an idea in your head. 

God is bigger and greater than anything we’ve ever known or ever will know. He is the first, the last, the everything. He is in all and through all and nothing can be apart from Him. So don’t diminish Him to the church. Find out for yourself who He is. Read the Bible, spend time in prayer, don’t rely on secondhand information. Be a critical thinker and find out about God yourself. And find a church that you think exemplifies biblical values well and that you feel is good for you at this point in your life. 

That’s all I have to say :P 

Thanks for the question! Peace and love!-Katherine 

My stance on...

gender identity

labels

pronouns

gender expression

clothes, piercings, tattoos, medications, therapy, hormones, surgeries, accomodations

sexual orientation

relationships between consenting adults

You can do whatever you want forever.

This applies to...

me

you

everyone

Don't understand someone's identity/orientation/labels? Doesn't matter.

Don't "agree" with someone's pronouns or their interpretation/description of their own identity? Fuck off. Who do you think you are? Your opinion is neither desired nor relevant.

Kill the cop inside your mind. Don't be a dick.

January 1st Reflections

Welcome to 2014 everybody. I know that the beginning of a new year is always a time for nostalgia and a time for optimism. It creates a fresh start for those who feel that they may need one. And I do understand the wonder when the clock strikes midnight and you start Day 1 of 365. 

But I would like to remind you that this is simply another 365 days. It's another circle 'round the sun. It's the beginning of a new calendar, which is a socially constructed method of keeping track of our planet's rotations, determined largely by greek rulers ages and ages ago. 

There is nothing magic about the new year. The single second that makes the difference in the date has no power whatsoever. The gravity you ascribe to the new year is entirely in your head. New beginnings have nothing to do with the date and everything to do with you. 

You can start over any second of any day of any month. You can quit anything, drop everything, pick up and leave. You can switch your major or your school or your career path. You can change anything at all about your life and you don't have to wait for the perfect time to do it. Firstly because there is no time like the present and secondly because there is no guarantee that the perfect time will even happen. 

If you want to lose 10 pounds, start RIGHT NOW. If you want to get your finances in order, start RIGHT NOW. If you want to fix relationships, start RIGHT NOW. If you want to reinvent your image, start RIGHT NOW. If you want to learn something new, start RIGHT NOW. If you want to develop your character, start RIGHT NOW. 

Nothing is to be accomplished by waiting. New Year's resolutions are so seldom fulfilled because too much emphasis is placed on the circumstances of the resolution and too little is placed on the conviction behind the resolution. 

The magic is in you. Not in the day. 

how do you feel about sex before marriage? where do you draw the line? i'm struggling myself in a new relationship. I don't know what's ok before marriage and what isn't for me. what are your opinions.

Okay, so…given my lifestyle in 2014, it would be hypocritical and counterproductive for me to tell you, “you can’t do anything! nothing at all! hands off! this is a kissing-only zone!”. Not only because that is not representative of all of my experiences, but also because it doesn’t really help you arrive at any kind of real conclusion for yourself. If you are a Christian like me and believe the Bible, you would agree that God is pretty clear about the “no sex before marriage” thing. What sometimes gets debated depending on people’s interpretation of the Bible is what actually, *teeeeeeechnically* constitutes sex. Mainly I think that this is because we tend to look for loopholes so that we can do the stuff we want to do without having to feel guilty about it because it’s “not technically sinning”. So you’ll see different definitions from different people. Some would say that “real sex” is only the insertional kind, that is, the kind when the penis enters the vagina. So not only is that super heteronormative and binarist, it’s also a very conveniently technical definition, which ignores how very nuanced the situation is. Some would tell you that the only thing you’re allowed to do before marriage is kissing. Some would say it’s not even that. One of my friends has a definition of sex that dictates that all parties involved must have an orgasm for it to be sex, which essentially disqualifies a lot of heterosexual encounters. I have a broader definition. I personally think that anything involving the genitals qualifies as sex. Whether it’s hands or mouth down there, or even if there’s layers of fabric in between, I think it still counts. This definition has not been formed based on theoretical morals or a sense of superiority. It reflects my personal experiences. And based on this definition, I’m not really uptight about wandering hands, as long as they avoid the crotch. That right there is a stance that’s quite a bit more liberal than some people. 

Now, all that being said, my personally-held belief is that God tells us not to have sex before marriage to protect us, and to preserve the sacred bond of matrimony. Lots of people use sex as an easy high (like I used to) but its real purpose (besides reproduction) is to strengthen interpersonal bonds. Sex causes the release of the hormone oxytocin, colloquially dubbed “the cuddle hormone” which gives you all the warm and fuzzy feelings and makes you feel attached to the person you had sex with. That’s why casual sex has the potential to be really emotionally and psychologically damaging if someone doesn’t know what to do with those feelings. But sex has been God-ordained to build intimacy between you and the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with. 

So the first question you really need to ask yourself is “when do my actions cross the line from fun, playful and affirming, into intimacy-building territory?” And you will know. That oxytocin is powerful stuff, man. The level of trust and vulnerability you need to be intimate with another human is no trifling thing and you will know when you feel like you’re building bonds with this person that might need to be saved for a later time and a more cemented relationship. You will also know when you’ve achieved a level of intimacy with someone that you weren’t ready for. My hope for you is that you never experience that, because it kinda sucks. So you need to figure out where your own line is for you. I’ve told you what my definition is. That being said, have I always and do I always adhere strictly to my own boundaries? No. Because once you’ve crossed the line, you become desensitized, and it’s hard to go back. So the best piece of advice I can give you is to be proactive and figure out where your line is before you cross it by accident, cause it’s a lot harder to cross back to the other side of the line. In saying that, I must caution you that the line is in different places for different people, and you may be less desensitized that I am, so just be careful to figure out where your line really is. And your line might be different from your person’s line, and then it comes down to not causing other people to stumble. So it’s important to know where your line is and where your partner’s is, so that you both can feel safe and comfortable and at peace with the physical aspect of your relationship. 

The second question you need to ask yourself is “how close do I want to get to the line?” That translates to, “where are wandering hands allowed to go?”, or “in what situations will we allow ourselves to experience that closeness?” (hint: in bed in an empty house is a bad idea if you’re not so great in the self control area) and “are clothes coming off or staying on?” It can be a really slippery slope, and the more “breathing room” you give yourself, the happier it will be. If you go aaaaall the way right up to the line the very first time, you’ve put yourself in a very precarious position because one little slip up could be disastrous. If you start off far away from the line, a little slip up is like “oh okay, still not a big deal because we still haven’t totally crossed the line.” 

I do not want you to experience the guilt and shame that I experienced, the stuff that comes with moving too fast and not caring enough. So like, go you for asking this question and for giving it some thought. I know it can be really tricky. I encourage you to think long and hard about it so that you can be proactive and so that you know what choice you’re making. I am not a huge believer in like “oh it just happened! it was an accident!” I think you need to know what you’re doing and you need to own it. 

Finally, be gracious with yourself. I know you’re gonna work really hard at this, but we are not perfect people, and if human nature is any indication, you’re probably going to make mistakes. You are not damaged goods. You are not ruined. A friend of mine once told me that grace is not a once had, once lost kind of thing, and neither is purity. Yeah, sexual sin is given a fair amount of screen time in the Bible, and I believe that is because of the repercussions that sexual promiscuity can have for us in this lifetime. But all sin is equal in the sight of God, which means that yes all sin is equally transgressive but also all sin is equally forgivable. Do not permanently condemn yourself for anything, because God doesn’t do that and neither should we. 

And of course, the best advice is to keep God at the centre of your relationship and pray about your relationship. If your ultimate goal is to foster a God-honouring relationship, it’s a lot harder to disobey him in that relationship. 

Good luck! If you know me in real life you’re more than welcome to contact me through any medium to chat more. If not, you can always ask me more questions here. 

Peace and love! 

- Katherine

Where do you draw the line at what's appropriate sexually before marriage?

I’m pretty conservative, so kissing is my limit. Like, I don’t want hands going ANYWHERE, not even above the belt. :P I try to follow these rules: 1. No clothes are coming off. 2. Don’t touch me anywhere that would be covered by a bikini.

I just do this because the road to sex is a very slippery slope, and I’m worried that once you start down that slope, it’s really hard to stop. And to me, it’s too much of a risk to take, so I’d prefer to stay faaaaaar away from that slope at all, and make absolutely certain that nothing’s gonna happen. I just don’t know how strong my will power is, and I’d really prefer not to find out, haha :P

Thanks for the question! Peace and love! -Katherine