Habits That Changed My Life For The Better

Blood & Buttercream

Chapter One - Exposition.

Baker!Reader x Butcher!Simon Riley

CW: None, SFW.

Word Count: 1.2K

You’re sitting in your local Costa, sadly picking at an overpriced, sad sandwich and lukewarm coffee. Chains are never your first option if you can help it, but this small town doesn’t have a local cafe open past 10am.

Another sigh, you could do it so much better, you think, grimacing at a bite of soggy bread. As a baker, you know good bread and this, this is not good bread.

How difficult can it be, really, you sip from your cup; musing.

You could do it, you think, you already have a steady business as an online bakery and a presence at the closest local markets, known for your delicate bakes with pretty decorations.

The savoury side of things though…you know what’d you’d do, sandwiches with homemade focaccia, doorstep thick toast, savoury pastries.

It’d have to be right though. The voice pops up unbidden and you bite your lip, your need for perfection is both a blessing and a curse.

You abandon the remnants of your sandwich and head home thoughts churning.

In your kitchen, you create a focaccia, flaky salt, good olive oil, rosemary and cherry tomatoes.

Once it’s cooked you realise you don’t have the right meats and you drag yourself to the store, you stand in front of the deli meats aisle for longer than you want to admit, until your fingers start to get a little numb and you take home a selection and painstakingly try a little of everything with the bread and nothing's right, nothing works.

You hiss in frustration before cutting a large chunk and wrapping it in wax paper and grabbing your keys.

You know you must look like a crazy person, stomping into the butchers and dropping the bread on the counter in front of the mountain of a man who works there, the bottom half of his face covered by a black mask.

“I need help” you say shortly “I’ve tried the supermarket meats and it’s not right.”

He stares at you, shocked, confused, you can’t tell.

“Look, you're an expert right?” A slow nod. “Good. I’m fed up with having no good cafes so I’m gonna do it myself but I’m a novice at savoury, so taste that.”

You wave a hand irritably at the wax-paper wrapped focaccia “and please tell me what meat is supposed to go in it.”

There’s a beat, two, before callused hands are unwrapping the bread and tearing a chunk off, corner of the mask lifting to accommodate before being lowered.

A moan. “I know” you say, slightly smug “so I’m not putting it with mediocre fillings”

The man hums, swallowing, before turning to a leg of something along the back counter and cutting a thin slice, dropping it onto a paper plate before handing it to you.

“Try that” he rasps, you take the plate and try the meat, it’s salty, slightly smoky and so much better than whatever you brought from the supermarket and combinations throw themselves into your head.

You’re unaware of the butcher staring at you.

“How much will I need to make at least ... .four sandwiches?” You half ask, half demand.

“Bout 15 slices” he replies after a moment's thought.

“Great, that then please,” you say sweetly, “and you can keep the rest of the bread.” You add on when you’ve paid and have the wrapped meat in your hand before almost running out of the shop to get home.

Simon stares for a long time, before devouring the rest of the bread.

The next few hours are spent in your kitchen, every surface covered in pans and bowls. The meat he’s given you, you learn, is called Serrano and it’s so good. 

You’re lucky enough to have a garden and a greenhouse and you pull some rocket from the soil dropping it into a colander for later. Back in your kitchen you create a chilli jam, not too spicy with a slight acidity to balance the salt. 

A quick google suggests that manchego is a common pairing but you worry that it will make the finished sandwich too salty and you bite your lip, scouring your fridge. Burrata. You’d brought it to make your own pizzas but…you wouldn’t need all of it. 

You catalogue what you have in your head, salt from the meat and the bread, acid from the jam, fat from the cheese and heat from both the jam and the peppery kick of the rocket. 

You layer the sandwich and wrap it in greaseproof paper, pulling it tight before cutting it in half with a large bread knife. 

You smile at the cross section and take a bite. The flavours explode on your tongue and you grin, victorious. It’s so much better than the sad toastie you started your day with.

You tidy your kitchen, decanting the rest of the chilli jam into sterilised jars and carefully storing the meat and cheese before washing your paraphernalia. 

You’re about to become that poor butcher’s worst nightmare, you think ruefully as you start to compile a list of other things you’d want to stock. 

You feel so guilty in advance that you assemble a peace offering, the other half of the sandwich, a jar of your new chilli jam and a caramel brownie. Is it weird if I bother him again? You shake the thought away, you have questions and your brain needs them answered. Now. 

You pack your offering into a box and head back out, chucking a notebook and pen into your bag as you pass the countertop. 

The man behind the counter looks surprised to see you, if the slight raise of his eyebrow is any indication. 

“Alright?” He asks slowly.

“Yeah,” you chuckle slightly nervously as you introduce yourself, “I think I’m probably about to become your worst nightmare.” 

“Doubt that” he mutters, “‘m Simon.” 

You nod “Simon, it’s nice to meet you.” A smile, you brandish the box containing your peace offering. 

“I need to ask you some questions about, well, everything meat so here’s a…” you stumble over your words. “Gift? In return for the annoyance I’m probably gonna cause you.” 

The man, Simon, takes the box from you and flips open the lid, “this the sandwich you made?” He asks, fishing it out with one large hand, you nod as he unwraps the paper and takes a large bite. 

His eyes close momentarily as he chews and swallows “gonna bring me one of these every time you’ve got a question love?” 

Your brain stutters momentarily over the pet name and you feel your face get warm. 

“Um, yes?” You offer as you will your face to cool down, watching as he takes another bite and groans in appreciation. 

“Best sandwich I’ve ever had.” He tells you and you can’t help but preen at the compliment. 

“Thanks,” you whip out your notebook “so, if I wanted to make a quiche with ham in it but also sandwiches, would I need different styles?” The pen is pushed against your lip as you think “Oh and I know there’s a ratio of fat to meat for everything but if I wanted to do sausage rolls and scotch eggs would they need to be different too?” 

You realise Simon is staring at you and you shuffle your feet, ears going hot, waiting for the inevitable comments about you being ‘weird’ or ‘too much.’ 

They don’t come. 

You force yourself to meet his gaze, steeling yourself for whatever expression you find there. You don’t expect fascination, appraisal. 

“You this meticulous about ever’thin love?” It’s almost a growl and your mind wanders for a split second before you manage to eek out a “yes.” 

Simon grins, taking a large bite of the brownie “fucking hell, where’ve you been hidin?” 

I'm so happy Ryan Coogler hired Yvonne Chireau as his Hoodoo consultant for "Sinners'. That man really respects our roots. Yvonne don't play about Black American culture and our connections to spirit and Africa. Her books and lectures are always on point

An Absolute Guide To Manage Your Time And Energy For School

If you struggle with time management and are still struggling, then maybe this short guide can help you become better, not perfect but better.

These are not time management techniques, no. None of the techniques personally worked for me because let's be honest. It's not that practical. I'm someone who does not get Pomodoro, nor can i get anything done if i write it down.

It's a mockery really but here are some adjustments that i made that helped me manage my time and energy.

Between classes/breaks/lunch

Have some incomplete work? Do it between classes. The short breaks. The teacher is 5 mins late? Complete at least some of the work, you might not believe it but you get a lot of things done when you add the spare time.

Travel

If you have a lot of travel time, do some of your studying then. If you get headaches, just do active recall or skim through notes, try to revise. You can even practice for tests, take your question paper and try answering the questions in your head.

Home=Studies

I personally only prefer studies at home. All written assignments, essays, extra curriculars, everything is only during school hours (If you don't have the "time". Do it during breaks). Because home is the one place you have minimal distractions beside your gadgets so use that opportunity in any way you can.

Mental lists and Accountability Partners

Normal to do list never work for me so i always keep a mental list of tasks i have to do every single day. It helps. An additional tip is to keep an accountability partner, share your tasks with each other and keep each other on track. Make it more challenging by making each other do something like a dare or something stupid if you don't complete your lists.

No time allotments

I personally feel that keeping a time allotted for every subject/topic is unnecessary like it doesn't work for me. I'll change the subjects when i'm bored. I'll take a break when i feel tired. Having time allotted is like a barrier. (At least for me) It will take time for you to understand difficult topics. Easy concepts can be fitted in the allotted time but difficult ones need more time and energy.

Only important things in the morning

Mornings are the best things that can possibly happen. I'm generally not a morning person, seriously but if you have to study complex topics or if you have some kind of important work then do it in the morning. Nobody disturbs you. Everyone is asleep. You can concentrate on your work and your mind is fresh, you can grasp more things and get your work done by the time everyone gets up.

Get in the flow

Learning things is not difficult. Making aesthetic lists and vision boards is not difficult. Anyone can do it, hell, everyone does it. Sticking to the process consistently is difficult.

You won't see results right away. It will take you time. It will take you energy so take a breath. Stick to the stuff longer than an hour and you'll actually see how difficult topics turn into easy ones. It normally takes 20 mins for you to actually get into "work" mode and it would take another 20 mins to actually get what you're trying to do.

Mindset Shift

What i realise when i look around me is that literally no one actually wants to do the hard work. Many of my friends literally give up after studying a hard topic, they don't put in the effort and the only thing i hear is "It's too hard and i don't have the time and energy right now" and that is the exact mindset that leads them to unwanted stress and cramming before a small test or an exam.

The thing is time is going to pass anyway so might as well get things done. And get it done in the best possible way. Period.

Get Assignment Done In Advance

My school gave me around 5 assignments every week or so, the only way i got them done was through doing all of the work during school hours. Complete them during breaks or free periods, after school or just between classes. And i know, sometimes you'll feel like "This is weird" because everyone else is relaxing and talking. You know what i did? I just sat with my group of friends and i just did my work (written work) while also talking to them. It's not as difficult as you think it is. It's more fun honestly. Honestly, after a while, they too joined me.

One Step Ahead

Look, it's really easy. Set what i call a "One In Advance". Your assignment is due in two weeks? Complete it by next week. Project due in one month. Complete it a week in advance. This is necessary because, when you start early, you finish it earlier than others so you can actually focus on some studying rather than wasting your time managing assignments and tests. You'll actually notice the difference in your stress levels when everything doesn't pile up. The trick is to complete everything before one week.

When You Feel Tired? Rest. Period.

This is non-negotiable. You don't force yourself to work when you are really tired. There is no use doing work when you feel exhausted.

The only thing i did for me to have a few extra hours per day is just allot my time. When i'm at school, it's fully work mode. Do your work and get things done. When i get back home, it's rest + study.

Hope this helps! :)

(By the way, in no way am i promoting toxic productivity. Rest when you need it and take time off. It is a crucial part. Don't. Forget. That. I'm providing you some daily adjustments that made my life easier and can do that to yours too)

Types of Protective Magick:

Apotropaic: Usually in the form of amulets, written charms; used to turn away an undesired force. Examples include the Gorgoneion, a holy scripture (such as the Bible, Quran, Havamal, the Bhagavad Gita or the Devi Gita), Iron or Iron-Based Items.

Decoy: Instead of the Malefic Force hitting the practitioner, it gets distracted with an item or representation. Like a poppet, piece of meat.

Spirit Trap: The Malefic Force is given a distraction that prevents it from hurting the practitioner. Can include a layered plant like onion. Some make use of grains of sand, salt or rice which supposedly forces the spirit to count it rather than enter the house.

Offering: An item that is desirable is placed outside the house, the spirit partakes of that rather than entering the home. Especially suited for the Deipnon.

Warding (Spatial): Items are placed around the space that set up a protective barrier. Can become an issue when filtering, make sure to set the intent that malefic is kept out and benefic is allowed in.

Guardians: Statues can be infused to keep watch, allowing good in and evil is warded off. Some animals are very lucky and can be used for magnetizing and pacifying (reducing negative qualities and instilling positive ones in the home)

Floor Washing: Particular herbs or items are noted for their protective qualities. Might not mix Fire Herbs with Water, but it also depends on the space. Martial Herbs might be preferred outside but not in the living space where relaxation and peace is sought. Most basic is basil or salt.

Door Guarding: An item is placed over the door to ward off evil forces, horseshoes, iron, signs with sacred scripture, chalking and so on. A plant can be kept by the front door.

Binding: More active form of pacifying, enemy or force is stopped and blocked by methods. Prevents movement and action being taken against the practitioner. Useful for spirits, a spirit may be bound to a tree or item to prevent it from doing harm until it is decided or mediated. Can be used to help with illnesses and fevers.

Bodily Warding: Amulets worn on the body, strengthens spiritual connection in some cases while preventing unwanted forces from interacting. Veiling is common. St. Cards, Spiritual Scriptures and others can be kept or recited over the self. Useful before rituals.

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au where jet doesn’t find out that zuko and iroh are fire nation and when he runs into the gaang he goes ‘oh by the way this is my new friend lee. we met on the ferry ride over here!’ and the gaang and zuko just like awkwardly stare at each other for a really long time

Writing Romance: Courting

Prior to the 20th century, most couples engaged in courting politics to find their partners, and there were a lot of rules about how to properly court your intended partner. So I figured I’d put out a guide to proper romancing etiquette for those setting their stories in more antiquated settings. But a lot of these courtship practices don’t work as well for same-sex relationships. So, I’ll go through some of the rules for courtship that apply to any story that wants to use courting romances, then I’ll explore ways this could work for a queer couple.

Gender Dynamics in Queer Courtships

Gender is a HUGE aspect of courtship, as the expectations of men and women were starkly different. This leaves queer couples with two choices: either conform to the gender roles, or make the roles more generalized that both parties are expected to uphold. Whichever route you take, be consistent. Not just with queer couples but heterosexual ones as well. If a lesbian barmaid can chase skirts, why can’t a heterosexual seamstress chase chaps?

If you choose to lean into gender roles and active vs passive roles in courtship, I believe it is best to leave it that the one of higher social status takes on the role of the female, as it would be uncouth for a Duke to be chasing lowly Viscounts. Those looking for a higher status husband should be the one working to win the Duke’s affections. While one could argue that the one of higher status should be the active pursuer, the thought of a queen chasing skirts simply fails to capture the regal dignity of the position when we think on it. It seems more in line with the properness and decorum of the era to have the elite have the suitors come to them.

Even if you do away with the gender roles in favor of gender equality in relationships, social status and rank would still be enough to impact the active vs passive roles. A prince looking for a spouse will always be more passive, while his knights, dukes, and counts vie for his affections. Meanwhile, a lowly Baron will almost always be in pursuit of a match. This follows the Order of Precedence, a real life rule of etiquette  that states that those of lower status are the ones introduced to someone of higher status. So before a Baron can speak freely with a Prince, someone must introduce the Baron to the Prince and never the other way around. If the Baron is being introduced to a group, they will be introduced in ascending order of rank. The Baron will first be introduced to the Count, then the Duke, and then the Prince. This is why in many court scenes, someone will introduce a character to the king before they speak to one another.

But what if they’re of equal status? What happens when a prince is seeking another prince to be his husband? While they have equal titles, a prince of a tiny, less powerful kingdom is more likely be the pursuer to the prince of a bigger, wealthier kingdom. It’s also unlikely for a prince who is 1st in line to inherit his throne would marry a prince who is also the heir apparent to his own kingdom, unless they were looking to combine their countries into a new alliance. Otherwise, a first born prince is more likely to be chased by a second born prince who won’t inherit his kingdom. Likewise, in a relationship between two Dukes, the one who is higher in the line of succession to the crown would be the one to be pursued by the one lower down the line of succession. TL;DR: Whoever has the bigger house is the one getting pursued by suitors. However, do keep in mind that admittance to the royal palace is strictly by invitation only, so that does make things tricky. But visiting royalty often do have an open invitation to the royal palace. So while a Duke courting a prince would need an invitation to call on the prince for his hand in marriage, the Prince of Belgium would likely be just down the hall from the Prince of France’s quarters, giving him much easier access to court the Prince du Sang of France.

Presenting at Court

When a young gentleman or lady had come of courting and marrying age, their parents would petition to have them present at court, though people could also be recommended by other nobility. This was an effective way for some to social climb, being recommended by someone of much higher status and impeccable reputation can skyrocket their child into an advantageous position. These events would be held at the palace multiple times per year, and were invite only. The Lord Chamberlain was in charge of going over the guest list with the utmost scrutiny, and nobody would be permitted who did not have a pristine and stainless record.

Men of good social standing would present at court at formal events called Levées. They would present before the King or Prince. In the event that there were two queens or otherwise no living males of the royal family, they might present before the highest ranking male in the line of succession, or otherwise just present before the Queen. In the Victorian Era, men wore buckled shoes and swords to both a Levée and a Presentation. They had to wear either court dress or a uniform. So, if he was a soldier, he might present at court wearing his finest military dress uniform.

Presenting at court for girls were much less imaginative, only being called a Presentation. They were expected to drag long trains behind them, to bow and address the queen flawlessly, and then leave the room without fumbling over her dress or shoes. Like with the Levées for the gentlemen, these events would be held multiple times per year, and multiple girls would present on the same day, meaning that all of the girls would be compared. The better she performs, the more desirable she will be. Some men might be charmed by a little clumsiness, but it was generally seen as extremely important for a girl to make a great first impression on the court as a lady of courting and marrying age. This is also why the presentation itself is rather short. There’s a lot of girls to get through, and the queen’s a busy lady.

Someone who was already of marrying age but marries into higher status would be expected to present at court after the wedding. As a king and queen had the power to bestow titles on people at their leisure, it was not impossible for an older married woman to be made a high enough status to make her formal debut at court, and older women had different expectations when making their debut, such as styling themselves differently, and wearing different colors. Thus if, for example, a lowly washer woman saved a nobleman’s son from drowning, she might be rewarded by being recommended for a title like Lady or Baroness and being allowed to present at court. Regardless of age, the presentation mostly serves as an introduction of a new face at court to the rest of high society.

The Rules for Men

Men were encouraged not to flirt with everyone they found attractive, as being too friendly might earn them a reputation that hurts their social image. Guidelines to courtship from the Victorian Era makes it clear to young men that not every girl will be interested in his pursuit of her, and that he should take a lack of positive response to any advances as his cue to move on, lest he embarrass himself or his family.

Never allow a woman to be uncertain of your feelings and intentions. Women were permitted some leeway with acting coy, but for a man to toy with a woman’s affections was seen as improper. Once a man is aware a woman mistakes his attention for affection, he is to quickly, yet politely, lay bare his true feelings. In a similar vein, a man should never make any declaration in jest, whether expressing love or proposing marriage, any attempt to make such grand declarations as a jest does grave disservice to the woman, and will earn him great dissent and contempt from those of good breeding and high social standing. This second rule also extends to the fairer sex, and is just universally sound advice when navigating romantic entanglements.

A man must put out his cigar in the company of women, which also meant that if a woman approaches him to engage him in conversation, he must discard it, regardless of how expensive it was.

When greeting a woman in public, a man should tip his cap in a polite manner, though if she stops to talk to him, she will extend her hand to him. In this case, he must remove his hat with the hand farthest from her, and take her extended hand with the one closest to her. If they are well acquainted, he might bestow the back of her hand with a quick kiss before letting go of her hand. He would then be expected to walk with her as they converse. If he has somewhere to be or the conversation has reached a natural ending, he should politely excuse himself, and wait for her to say her farewells before he leaves her company. If he simply cannot stop to talk, he should make his urgency clear, and apologize before carrying on, still being sure to tip his hat in a show of politeness.

The Rules for Women

Accepting gifts from a suitor is dangerous. If a suitor brings you a gift and you accept it, it indicates that you are interested in their advances. Being too accepting can also cause a man to continue to shower you with gifts, which could be seen as greedy. If disinterested in the suitor, it is advised to decline his gift. However, it’s best to try and decline his gift in a courteous manner, as a calous decline will earn you a reputation for a foul temperament, which may discourage other suitors.

An unmarried woman should never be outside alone. She should always be in the company of a companion, chaperone, parent, or legal guardian. This is a means of protecting women from being set upon by unscrupulous men.

Even while courting one another, an unmarried woman should never be alone in the company of a man outside of her immediate family. This usually meant that any sort of date the pair might go on will always be supervised from afar by a parent or chaperone, such as a lady-in-waiting or a governess. The young couple would usually be left some leeway to conversate privately, so long as they were within clear eyesight of the woman’s caretakers, and close enough for them to step in should the man act dishonorably toward her.

A man will come to call upon a woman he is interested in pursuing, meaning that he will come to her house in order to pitch woo or charm her. This is to ensure she is in the safety and protection of her family, so as to prevent her from being done ill by the man where her family cannot protect her. As such, a woman would never call upon a man or go to his residence. In a queer relationship, this is simply swapped to the one of lower status coming to the house of the one of higher status. Although, due to the role of status, the suitor will require an invitation (either specific or open) to come a-courting on the object of their affections.

Women would often have a dance card which indicated who she intended to dance with at an upcoming ball. She’d save a dance for the host, and likely also her suitor. Any special guest of the ball would likely also be afforded a dance. If she has multiple suitors, she would be expected to dance with all of them, and not to spend her entire evening doting on only one of them. It was also seen as improper for her to dance too often with the same partner, regardless of whether she was looking for a spouse or not. If she was the guest of honor, it might be expected for her to share more than one dance with the host, possibly sharing the first and/or last dance with him to start or close out the night. Sometimes at dances, the guests would know the music selection and dances ahead of time, and women would have the music or dances on their dance cards. While I don’t know if it was done historically, I don’t think it would be too unorthodox for a man to write a woman ahead of a ball (assuming he’s familiar enough for such audacity) and request that she save a specific kind of dance for him. If his Waltz is shabby, but he does a marvelous Minuet, he’d want to be sure his dance with a possible match would be a dance he’s more proficient with. A lady might fill up her entire dance card ahead of time, but she’d more often than not leave a spot or two open to allow for more spontaneity. As dance cards were only used by women, I don’t know if they’d be used by gay men in courtship or not. Queer people at a ball however might wear something to indicate their preference in dance partner. A visual cue to let the gentlemen know that the Baroness of Arendale doesn’t have much interest in dancing with men.

Courting in Public

Courtship, especially among the upper class, was predominantly undergone during the Social Season, which in the UK ran from March until September, and included a wide variety of events and activities including balls, picnics, dinner parties, and sporting events. During the social season, every personage of noble blood would gather in a central location, usually the capital. These were not the only times during the year when people courted, it was more akin to a feeding frenzy for eligible bachelors, largely due to all of their marital options being assembled for the season, making it much easier to find someone to his liking.

It was wildly scandalous to show public displays of affection. That was to be reserved for private life. As such, suitors would instead exchange gifts, photographs or locks of hair instead of kissing or holding hands. For a queer relationship, it might be allowable for suitors to give one another their clothing, jewelry, weapons, or armor, either in their entirety or a particular piece of it. However the intimacy of sharing garments would likely be reserved for couples that have been courting for some time, and would be ill-advised as a first gift to one’s admirer.

At a ball or other such party, if someone catches your fancy but you’ve never met them before, it is impolite to speak to them until the host or hostess has formally introduced you to one another. Even if you dance with them, it is ill-mannered to speak to them during and after the dance if neither of you have been introduced to one another.

If someone insults your suitor, a gentleman should be ready to act the part of a knight and defend his lover’s honor. If his partner initiated the conflict, it is advised for a gentleman to apologize on their behalf, though not so meekly as to offend their lover or besmirch their honor. If another man is looking to start a quarrel, a gentleman should not return his hostilities, as a foul temper and lack of self-control is an indication of ill manners and poor breeding, bringing you down to the other man’s level.

A gentleman should always carry his lady’s luggage, and on the sidewalk, takes the side closest to the street to keep his lady’s dress from being splashed with mud or water, or to keep her safe should a wayward horse, carriage, or car veer off the street, it is more likely to strike him than her.

A couple talking in public must speak succinctly, poignantly, and softly. Long drawn-out conversations were best for private, whereas in public, it was unwise to spend one’s entire evening conversing with a single person, unless it is well-known the severity of their entanglement. It was considered ill-manner to speak excessively or too loudly as to disturb others.

Matchmaking and Gold-Digging

Due to eldest sons getting the entire inheritance of his father, women seeking to court would seek out eldest sons who would be coming into their family fortune, while sons left out of the inheritance would be more willing to marry below their station in pursuit of rich heiresses whose wealth would keep them in the lifestyle to which they have grown accustomed. Likewise in a queer relationship, wealth and power would likely effect the interests of relationships, and differences in inheritance laws might also change the power dynamics in courtships. If a daughter can inherit the full control of her father’s mercantile empire, she’s going to be fighting off second-born suitors with a stick, regardless of gender.

I mentioned above the Levées and Presentations that young nobles would go through when entering the public sphere of the court. Parents of other noble families would often be in attendance of these parties, and if a presenter impressed them, they may approach the parents and suggest a courtship between their children. This is less of an arranged marriage, and more the parents steering their children to give each other a chance. It’s much closer to playing matchmaker than paying 5 cows and a corn mill for someone’s daughter. The children could still decline the courtship out of lack of interest or an absence of chemistry, so long as they settled things politely. 

Watch Bridgerton

While Bridgerton is by no means a perfect replica of historical courtship, as its Diamond of the Fresh Water is largely a creation of the show, things such as the calling of suitors, the responsibility of first-borns compared to second-born and third-born sons, marital entrapment, and elevating one’s status is very well executed. If you want to write period romance, Bridgerton is an excellent resource to take inspiration from. It’s a great way to see these mechanics in action and hopefully watching it will spark something in your own imagination.

While that was a lot of information, I do hope it is something you found helpful. Most of the rules are much harsher on upper class characters, but most people who write historical romances are more interested in the romance between the countess and the duke, rather than the washer woman and the fisherman. I will also admit this is not a flawless breakdown, as I could have easily missed something. Still, as someone who loves period dramas and historical costume, I couldn’t leave such a tantalizing topic untouched.

I was talking with my housemate about how to be more physically active if you’re not used to it at all because everywhere you’re told to start a training routine where you push yourself a little every day, and while that may seem easy for some people it can be really fucking daunting if you start from zero.

As someone who comes from a very physically active family that doesn’t exercise just for the sake of exercising but do things like walk to the grocery store and bike to work, here’s my advice that has always worked for me:

Go super duper easy on yourself.

If you want to walk more start by walking for 3 or 5 minutes. The shortest possible walk you feel you’re capable of. A trip around the block or across the yard. You don’t need to sweat or get your blood pumping. Just a short stroll. The hardest part is to convince yourself to set aside 5 minutes every day to go on this short walk but nothing else about it should be hard. Do it every day and one day you’ll realize that you don’t want to go home just yet. It’s very important that you don’t think “I want to pressure myself to walk further” but rather “I haven’t spent all my walking energy yet. I have more walk in me” and only then do you lengthen the walk. I repeat, at no point should it be exhausting or difficult because even when it feels easy your body will be building muscle and stamina and it will eventually feel too easy and you’ll naturally want to crank it back up to easy again.

If you’re not used to being physically active it might not make a ton of sense when I say that you’ll have more walking energy left but trust me, you’ll get it when you get there.

I grew up with going on evening walks with my parents and passed that on to other housemates who didn’t get it at first but are now going on walks long after they moved somewhere else. Because once you get the hang of it you’ll realize how calming it is on the brain to move the body even if the body isn’t exhausted afterwards.

And it of course helps to entertain yourself especially in the beginning. My housemate started out listening to audiobooks and podcasts but eventually realized Pokémon Go was the best motivator. Whatever you feel like you want to do on your 5 minute easy stroll.

The Devil's Wheel

The Devil’s Wheel

“If you say yes,” said the Devil, “a single man, somewhere in the world, will be killed on the spot. But three million dollars is nothing to sneeze at, missus.”

“What’s the catch?” You squint at him suspiciously over the red-and-black striped carnival booth. You’re smarter than he thinks you are– a devil deal always has a catch, and you’re determined to catch him before he catches you. 

“Well, the catch is that you’ll know you did it. And I’ll know, too. And the big man upstairs’ll know, I ‘spose. But what’s the chariot of salvation without a little sin to grease the wheels? You can repent from your mansion balcony, looking out at your waterfront views, sipping a bellini in your eighties. But hey, it’s up to you– take my deal or leave it.”

The Devil lights a cigar without a match, taking an inhale, and blowing out a cloud of deep, sweet-smelling tobacco laced faintly with something that reminds you of rotten eggs. If he does have horns, they’re hidden under his lemon yellow carnival barker hat. He wears a clean pinstripe suit and a red bowtie. No cloven hooves, no big pointy fork, but you know he’s the Devil without having to be told. Though he did introduce himself.

He’s been perfectly polite. 

You know you need the money. He knows it too, or he wouldn’t have brought you here, to this strange dark room, whisking you away from your new house in the suburbs as fast as a wish. Now you’re in some sort of warehouse, where all the windows seem to be blacked out– or, maybe, they simply look out into pitch darkness, though it is the middle of the day. A single white spotlight shines down on the two of you. 

“Wait a minute, wait a minute,” you say. “I bet the man is someone I know, right? My husband?”

“Could be,” the Devil says with a pointed grin. “That’s for the wheel to decide.”

He steps back and raises his black-gloved hand as the tarp flies off of the large veiled object behind him. The light of the carnival wheel nearly blinds you. Blinking lights line the sides. Jingling music blares over speakers you can’t see. The flickering sign above it reads:

THE DEVIL’S WHEEL

“Step right up and claim your fortune,” the Devil barks. “Spin the wheel and pay the price! Or leave now, and a man keeps his life.”

You examine the wheel. 

The gambling addict

The doting boyfriend

The escaped convict

The dog dad

The secretive sadist

“These are all the possible men I can kill?” You ask, thumbing the side of the wheel. It rolls smoothly in your hand. Then you quickly stop, realizing that this might constitute a spin under the Devil’s rules. He flashes a smile at you, watching you halt its motion. 

“Addicts, convicts, murderers– plenty of terrible options for you to land on, missus!”

“Serial wife murderer?”

“Now who would miss a fellow like that? I can guarantee that the whole world would be better off without him in it, and that’s a fact.”

The hard worker

The compulsive liar

The animal torturer

The widower

The desperate businessman

The failed musician

The beloved son

“My husband is on here too,” you say. 

“Your husband Dave, yes. The wheel has to be fair, otherwise there’s simply no stakes.”

“I know what’s gonna happen,” you say, crossing your arms. “This wheel is rigged. I’m gonna spin it around, and it’ll go through all the killers and stuff, and then it’s gonna land on my husband no matter what.”

“Why, I would never disgrace the wheel that way,” the Devil says, wounded. “I swear on my own mother’s grave– may she never escape it. In fact, take one free spin, just to test it out! This one’s on me, no death, no dollars.”

You cautiously reach up to the top of the wheel and feel its heaviness in your hand. The weight of hundreds of lives. But also, millions of dollars. You pull the wheel down and let it go.

Clackity-clackity-clackity-clackity

Round and round it goes. 

The college graduate

The hockey fan

The Eagle Scout

The cold older brother

The charming younger brother

The two-faced middle child

The perfectionist

The slob 

Your husband Dave

Clackity-clackity-clackity.

Finally, the wheel lands on a name. A title, really.

The photographer

“Hmm, tough, missus, but that’s the way of the wheel. But hey, look! Your husband is allllll the way over here,” he points with his cane to the very bottom of the wheel, all the way on the other side from where the arrow landed. “As you can see, it’s not rigged. The wheel truly is random.”

“So… there really isn’t another catch?” You ask. 

“Isn’t it enough for you to end a man’s life? You need a steeper price? If you’re really such a glutton for punishment, I’ll gladly re-negotiate the terms.”

“No, no… wait.” You examine the wheel, glancing between it and the Devil.

You really could use that three million dollars. Newly married, new house, you and your husband’s combined debt– those student loans really follow you around. He’s quite a bit older than you, and even he hasn’t paid them off yet, to the point where the whole time you were dating you watched him stress out about money. You had to have a small, budget wedding, and a small, budget honeymoon. Three million dollars could be big for the two of you. You could re-do your honeymoon and go somewhere nice, like Hawaii, instead of just taking two weeks in Atlantic City. You deserve it. 

Even so, do you really want to kill an innocent photographer? Or an innocent seasonal allergy sufferer? Or an innocent blogger? Just because you don’t know or love these people doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t. 

The cancer survivor

The bereaved

The applicant

Some of these were so vague. They could be anyone, honestly. Your neighbors, your father, your friends…

The newlywed

The ex-gifted kid

The uncle

The Badgers fan

“My husband is a Badgers fan,” you say.

“How lovely,” the Devil says. 

Then it hits you.

Of course.

The weightlifter.

The careful driver.

The manager.

The claustrophobe.

Your husband Dave lifts weights at the gym twice a month. You wouldn’t call him a pro, but he does it. He also drives like he’s got a bowl of hot soup in his lap all the time, because he’s afraid of being pulled over. He just got promoted to management at his company, and he takes the stairs to his seventh-story office because he hates how small and cramped the elevator is.

“I get your game,” you announce. “You thought you could get me, but I figured you out, jackass!” “Oh really? What is my game, pray tell?” The Devil responds, leaning against his cane.

“All these different titles– they’re all just different ways to describe the same guy. My husband isn’t one notch on the wheel, he’s every notch. No matter what I land on, Dave dies. I’m wise to your tricks!” 

The Devil cackles. 

“You’re a clever one, that’s for sure. I thought you’d never figure it out.”

“Thanks but no thanks, man,” you say with a triumphant smirk. “I’m no rube. No deal. Take me back home.”

“As you wish, missus,” the Devil says. He snaps his fingers, and you’re gone, back to your brand-new house with your new husband. “Don’t say I never tried to help anyone.”

a story in 3 parts

frog machine

Credit to @ArtFromRachel on Twitter